Jesus Pimp

I just graduated college, and living at home with my parents as I currently looking for a job. I'm an interactive designer. No luck yet though I currently have a freelance gig going. I constantly feel like it's shameful to live at home. My parents especially my mom is always telling me how I should of majored in something that would gurantee me a job after graduation. I'm asian btw. Maybe I should of taken the plunge and became a pharmacist like every other asian person out there? Thing is I don't want to be stuck working in a supermarket the rest of my life. It's tough. I don't feel like a total loser yet. I'm confident that I will find a job eventually. Any advice on this situation?

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lurkette

I totally don't think it's shameful, particularly in this economy. I think it's smart and probably a necessity. I also don't think it should be shameful, anyhow, under any circumstances. Who said there's a certain age you should leave the nest? I've heard that in Italy and a lot of other places it's typical for grown kids to live at home till they're married. The important part is whether you're comfortable with it or not. I'm assuming you'd much rather be living on your own and it's just economic necessity keeping you home, but use this time to save up some dough, and enjoy the time with your family and your last taste of dependence. There'll be plenty of time for the rat race bill-paying mortgage-having job-going life later.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

Macheath

I'm getting away with it because I can cook and do heavy gardening work. I'm like the ultimate butler. I'm also still at college.

I did try the living alone thing - It can be REALLY over-rated sometimes, especially when you don't have all the resources for it. I was glad to get some practice at it though.

It used to be that a lot of folks got married at 18, learned a trade and could then afford a place in the suburbs with a white picket fence.
We don't live in that world (nor that economy) anymore and we don't all live the same life. If you feel confident and inspired by your long term dreams and aspirations, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

absorbentishe

Don't fret it dude. If your still home at 30/35.... that's when you might think badly about it. I probably would have stayed at home longer if I didn't get married. I have a friend that still lives at home, years after graduation, somehow he also has a lot of cash? I can't figure out why....

Derwood

Just don't end up getting a job at Starbucks to "make ends meet" and never end up pursuing your career. THOSE people piss me off

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SidCitna

Along time ago people use to live with their families forever. But unfortunately it is not good for a capitalist economy. See if you move out, you have to find a place, which is good for real estate. And you have to buy junk to funish the place, get a phone, a computer, all the other stuff you need that you could just be sharing. Sharing is not caring, If you share it takes money away from those who want to to buy your own. Moving out is a good idea if your family has no room or you dont like them, otherwise it is a good idea to help the economy(not in your best interest though).

gov135

Yes. You should be shamed to no end. Soon your friends will not call. Later, your dog will ignore you. Finally, your parents will disown you and you will become a street hustler.

On a more serious note, I highly recommend that you find a way to network with people in your area in your field. For example, in Cleveland we have the Cleveland Graduate Council. I know that networking can be hard for some people. But it NEVER hurts to know somebody - especially in a crappy economy. This is especially true if there are only certain areas of your industry that interest you. Good luck.

EDIT: And look above this at some previous posters. Put the garbage out on garbage day. Cook. Clean something. Offer to get the dry cleaning. In other words, do some little thing every day to make life better for those in the household.

anti fishstick

a lot of asian cultures live extendedly and kids live at home with their parents even starting a family. so s'all good.

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
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Mael

i still live at home, although i haven't graduated yet (i'm on the 30 year plan, or so it seems) and commute to school. for me it's not by choice. i can't afford to live out of the house and my parents will help me pay for school, but not living off campus. i'm finally able to get a sublet thanks to financial aid, but if my family lived closer to school, i'd not think twice about staying. i just can't handle an hour drive. so stay at home, save money, and treat your parents well, and then it's not a bd thing.

mrquackers

I'm with absorbentishe. Just out of school - especially in this economy? Nah, no shame at all. But when you hit your mid-30sand are still living at home, as a friend of mine does, it's a very, very sad thing.

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JimBeam

I'd have to agree with most everyone else here. Its ok to move back home after graduation, especially in these times. The majority of my friends that just graduated college had to move back home because they couldn't find jobs in this crappy economy. Once the economy picks up, you'll be able to get a job for sure, just don't "settle" for some crappy hourly job, when the opportunity comes for a good job, go out and take it.

staggerlee

Don't sweat it my friend. There's no shame in your situation at all. Just have a plan for the future, be confident in it, and see it through. I'm 26 and just had to move back in with mom myself about 8 months ago (got married/divorced too young, ran up a lot of debt). I ask my friends the same question and I find that no one criticizes my decision more than I do. I really want to get back out on my own, but I've accepted that there are things I have to do before that can happen, and I'm ok in the meantime. Once I get my head/finances together I'm going back to school for my MS and I'm planning on being out of the house and out of debt by 30, and with a marketable degree this time! Hang in there!

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Slims

It's not shamefull if you only stay until you get on your feet. If you get a good job and still live at home, then.....

And it would be shamefull to live at home so you don't have to get a job.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

Stewie

I guess I'm shameless then.

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Well if ya ain`t the grandaddy of all liars

smithja0423

There's no shame in holding out for something that will satisfy you vs. taking the first job that will let you move out and be on your own.

Now - if your outta college 10 years and still shacking up with mom&dad? That'd be a problem.

World's King

I'm 22. I live with my mommy.


Being broke sucks ass.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

rockzilla

I moved out at 19, I was barely getting by, my job didn't pay enough and my bills were ridiculous, but I had my own place and I loved it.
Fast forward a few years and after being stiffed on rent and bills, having a good chunk of my belongings stolen and losing my job, I had very little choice but to move back in with the folks and try to get back on my feet.
It took almost 4 months of pavement pounding to find a job that paid 50 cents more than minimum wage, I was glad to get it since there was nothing in my chosen field (Human Resources). I've since found a better job, after finally deciding to ignore everyone who said that there was no future in being a chef. That being said, the bills are slowly being paid off, I'm spending even more money on school and eventually, I'll be self-sufficient again.

Getting kinda off topic here, I'm halfway between what Forks is saying and what everyone else is saying. Yeah, you'll probably have to find a job that's 'beneath you', but if you don't mind living at home and your parents don't mind, then you're not hurting anyone. It's either that or a McJob and a batchelor apartement on the wrong side of the tracks.

BAMF

Im 22. I just graduated in may, and I dont have a job. I have been on 2 interviews. The first one, I didnt like the company. Not that it matter, I never heard from them again. The 2nd one, I had an interview with...their for 44 other people being interviewed. There was only 1 position. I think they were just getting human resource department some experience, but it pissed the fuck out of me since I drove 8 hours, spent a night in a hotel, went to the interview, and drove 8 hours home. No compensation, just a big 2 day fuck in the ass. enough of that

I am a computer engineer with a 3.34 gpa from Purdue University.

I have pretty much seen, and applied to, every single job that is posted on the internet. I have a deal with my parents, I can stay at home as long as I work a 40 hour week towards getting a job. The worst is when you find a job you want and spend 25 mins preping a cover letter and altering your resume, only to NEVER HEAR FROM THEM.

I am close to taking up a life of computer crime.

MacGnG

would you rather have your own place and no money?

TheIceMan

Hell, nowadays it's not a shame to survive. Some like being broke and living on their own. Others want something better and hold out til then. I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. I just got fired from my job 4 days ago. I knew they wanted to let me go. It was my fault for being late, but I have seen everybody else screw up and my boss never even batted an eyelash. She said she liked me and I'm still friends with my co-workers but at least come out and say it to my face ya know? Anyways, sorry for getting off topic. Now I'm back home. Sucks cuz I was getting ready to get my own place too. Oh well, I think I might have a good chance for another job next week.

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Destrox

If your making a effort to get your self a career going, then no way in any form is that shamefull. Its smart if anything.

Now if your being a total leech, jobless, and not getting or trying to get a education, then yes, you are a bad lil one.

( I fit into the 3rd year college @ home [actually am lookin for apartments, but mother fucker are they expensive in my area, even if you share with 2-3 ppl] )

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You bore me.... next.

yellowgowild

I agree with Forks completely.
I was kicked out of the house when I was 18 and had no choice but to take the worst paying job there was as a grocery night stocker. When I was there i worked my ass off with two other guys, running around all night lifting and throwing stock like a slave, but looking back, even though it was hard, I'm glad I went through that because now i know i can be independent no matter what.

Now, 5 years later I'm makingabout 60k a year, I just bought a house and I'm married to a beautiful Argentine woman. Granted I'm not doing what I want, but now that I'm stable I have thetimeto seek out what i really enjoy, and to top it off, my parents are dependent on me now, how bout that

See, think your problem is you think you're safe so you don't try as hard to succeed. You also probably think you shouldn't suffer in life but that's what makes your achievemens so sweet when they do come to you.

The most important thing is how determined you are. the sooner you start the better off you'll be in the long run so don't be weak about anything.

MSD

As long as you're trying to make something of your life, there's no shame in it. I'm 19, and I couldn't get a job at a supermarket when I said I was available for any shift, any day, from 4AM to 2AM. The economy sucks, and your mom is wrong. There's no point in getting a degree in something that will make you miserable and uninterested. If you do that, you don't have much of a chance of making it anywhere.

As long as you don't give up, and you haven't failed

BigJayz

It also depends on where you live. I'm in Southern California and with the economy the way it is, you can't buy your own house here for under $300,00!!! Thats for a small 2 bedroom with a tiny yard.

LittleOralAnnie

I left home when I was around 25. The only reason I didn't leave sooner was so that I could finish school and get a real job and be able to make it on my own. I had a decent relationship with my mom to so I stayed with her as long as we could stand each other.

Something inside me made me feel that I needed to be on my own and I wanted the freedom to come and go as I chose without being held to a curfew. I also was tired of being told what to do, and when to do it.

I received much help from family and friends with moving all my stuff to my new place and every penny I earned I spent wisely. Having any kind of job that helps keep the cash coming in, even if you have to work two jobs for awhile pays off in the long run.

Stiltzkin

I don't think I even need to bother reading through the posts. I will, but after throwing in my 50 cents.

"Is it shameful to live at home with your parents after graduation?"

The real answer is: FUH-UH-UCK NO, dude.

Is it smart? Yes. Why? So you can save up some cash and buy yourself a home in cash, instead of having to pay for a home in installments, in which case you'll eventually end up paying around 300% the original value of the home, which is (in my humble opinion) one of the stupidest things you can do, and a fancy way to start your money troubles, unless you hit it really big and get a really fat paycheck, in which case it might be kind of dumb to keep living with your parents. And in "fat check" I mean the kind of check where it only takes you maybe four or five checks to buy a home. Not many people make that kind of money, so you're probably still in the safe zone.

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HughHugh

dudeman, that's harsh, is that because you are asian?

Cynthetiq

It's not for me. I wasn't interested at all. I like living away from my family. I miss them dearly, but I don't think I'd have the appreaciation I have of them if I saw them on a daily basis like my sister does.

I don't think it's something to be ashamed about, family lives together sometimes just spitting distance away. Ultimately it's whether or not you care not someone else's opinion.

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numist

being asian definitely puts a cultural spin on things, for sure, but my cousin lived at home until she was 27, she had been working for 6 years after graduation, was engaged, and they pooled their money, bought a house and got married.

I think thats the best way to do it. Save money frugally, buy a place, and move into it. Then you own something and have a good launching point.

Until then, nothing wrong with living at home.

vinnyferrozzo

Economically speaking it is a good idea. However, socially speaking it will probably put a damper on the dating situation.

Jesus Pimp

Well moving out is my ultimate goal. I plan on moving out once I find a decent job to support myself. Right now I'm working on upping my skillsets. I have a wonderful girlfriend too so no problems socially. Thanks for the replies.

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jbrooks544

Not shameful if your "full time" job is trying to find the right job. I would say that if you spend 40 hours a week looking for the dream job that you are not dishonorable. You should be willing to relocate to almost anywhere to get your start on your selected career path. If you limit yourself to a 20 mile radius and spend 10 minutes a day scanning the want ads then you might be a loozer. If you can't commit to finding the dream job then become a carpenter or assistant plumber or electrician. You can learn good skills and pay your own way and be independant. If there aren't any opportunities where you live then for goodness sake just move. good luck!

Stinky Pee

Ah, you said the magic word: "designer"! Welcome to the first half of your career. You will spend it under-paid and under-appreciated; that is once you can first weasel your way (and your portfolio) past a decent art director's admin. You can look foward to spending the second half overpaid and bitching about all your arrogant collegues. As much as most creatives attempt to shun the fine art community, we're all a bunch of starving art-fucks too when it all comes down to it. So those new in the field are forced to suffer like those did before them. It makes you a better designer.

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Eat my fuck.

geodaro

It is totally pathetic to live at home after college. College is the big wasteland where teenagers are sent to grow-up. Your too old for high school and you don't know shit about the real world. So you go to college.

After college, you should have learned the skills necessary to have a life of your own. That's why you were there. Get off your butt, turn off the computer, and go out into the world like it owes you something. Be self confident (not cocky) and pick a job to start with that isn't boring. Use that as a stepping stone to your next job. Pretty soon you will be living on your own complaining about your crappy job and mounting bills like everybody else in the world! Join the fun today!

Above all else, build some self respect and get out of the house. You will never be happy there again unless you can go back in time and be 6 again. Good luck!

NotMinus

Not everyone has to move out immediatly. I find the Geodaro and Fork seem to belive that they have learned some life lesson that no one living at home can understand. If the option is there it is a great choice, it gives you time to move out of the house and into a situation where you don't have to live like Fork. Being forced to struggle by is not an accomplishment, what do you have for it? Pride? that's what it looks like to me. You don't seem to be happy about the lifestyle your living, you seems pretty bitter and despise people who are able to live at home a few years longer then you did. You and Jesuspimp have made diffrent decisions that both lead to diffrent lessons, you should not think you can judge wether the decision to continue schooling and stay at home to afford it or moving out into a situation where you are scrapping by is better. It really dosn't matter if you live at home or not, most people who have the choice and decide to live at home are not impacted by it, they continue to live there lives in a way they see fit. Your replys seem stereo-typed that beacuse you forced yourself (assuming you had the option to remain) to leave home you have some kind of insight in to life that others do not. You are wrong.

Brian Fellows

It's not a bad thing, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

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yellowgowild

I love my family very much, but, from a distance..........
Just because I like to take risks in my life doesn't mean I think everyone else should too. But if you have nothing to lose then go for it, and try to get those extra experience points. Cause the sooner the better.

tv.

not shamefull at all

geodaro

Sounds like NotMinus still lives at home. That's my bet anyway. Think about this....can you name one animal in the animal kingdom that stays next to mommy and daddy until they feel all warm and fuzzy inside and reaady to take on the world. Especially after approximately 20 years! I can't. Basically, if you go away to college, graduate, then move back home you are pretty much a loser in the eyes of every rationally thinking person. Don't be scared. Just move out and let life happen. You can't hide the rest of your life at home waiting for the "right" situation to come along before you take the leap. Sieze the day!

dragon2fire

not a dam thing worng with i live at home am 21 and i would love to move out but i am not ashamed to live at home