Things a man cannot or should not do - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

MSD · 06-28-2010, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

Actually, others use them as facial moisturizer.

And we have a winner.

Men should never hesitate to congratulate anyone for a particularly well spoken or well timed joke or retort.

Cimarron29414 · 06-29-2010, 05:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSD

And we have a winner.

Men should never hesitate to congratulate anyone for a particularly well spoken or well timed joke or retort.

That's bullshit! I spent like 147 seconds making my chromosome slide and I didn't get a word of credit. Jokes with props are worth more than prop-less jokes. <Goes to corner and pouts>

Bacchanal · 06-30-2010, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414

Jokes with props are worth more than prop-less jokes. <Goes to corner and pouts>

Carrot Top?

Cimarron29414 · 06-30-2010, 11:20 AM

I prefer Gallagher.

Meditrina · 06-30-2010, 11:41 AM

A man should not call a woman "crabby" (as in grumpy), even if he was joking.

Plan9 · 06-30-2010, 11:42 AM

Hah! I do it all the time. I also use the dreaded phrase, "Hey, just relax."

...

Cimarron, didn't scientists recently have issues with "The Decline of the Y in the XY" or something? I read about in Time magazine or something.

thingstodo · 07-05-2010, 02:46 AM

How about this one I heard from years ago: men can't lean their head agaist a wall, pick up a chair and then stand up - but women can. Anyone remeber that one?

Jove · 07-05-2010, 07:20 AM

Jump in lava.

LordEden · 07-05-2010, 08:06 AM

^ Unless you have a power star.

*****

Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.

Baraka_Guru · 07-05-2010, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordEden

Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.

morning wood
post-coitus
not wearing your glasses

Leto · 07-05-2010, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

Actually, others use them as facial moisturizer.

that made me laugh. Thanks BG... (a dude secure in his manliness).

---------- Post added at 01:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:42 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel_

....

I generally shave in the shower, so spend over five minutes there. I like long showers.

How do you do this without the mirror fogging up? After 30 odd years of shaving, I still can't figure out how to do it in the shower.

??

---------- Post added at 01:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:44 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stare At The Sun

Do you just try and troll as much as possible?

Can somebody explain the concept of trolling to me? Is it posting in a provokative manner?

Xerxys · 07-05-2010, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordEden

Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.

HA! You now have a girl living with you! You HAVE to piss sitting down. Eden, it does not matter who you are, she WILL domesticate you. It only takes time ... we all break at some point in time. You will begin sitting down while you go pee-pee, and yes, you will call it pee-pee.

Baraka_Guru · 07-05-2010, 10:47 AM

YouTube - About Schmidt - Toilet scene

Pearl Trade · 07-05-2010, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordEden

Piss sitting down, unless he is sitting down for a reason.

Wasn't there a thread here on TFP just for this topic? More guys piss sitting down than you'd think.

Cernunnos · 07-05-2010, 10:49 PM

A man should not limit himself based on gender stereotypes.

Jove · 07-06-2010, 07:10 AM

Fight a gorilla.

snowy · 07-06-2010, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerxys

HA! You now have a girl living with you! You HAVE to piss sitting down. Eden, it does not matter who you are, she WILL domesticate you. It only takes time ... we all break at some point in time. You will begin sitting down while you go pee-pee, and yes, you will call it pee-pee.

My SO had the sitting-down-to-pee habit already when we met. He claims that while it is convenient to be able to stand and pee, why wouldn't you sit down to pee if you could? It's a nice rest, he says. I like it because he doesn't make a mess.

surferlove007 · 07-06-2010, 09:39 PM

Men should not take their truck into the shop to get it worked on at 10:30am, when they promised their girlfriend to help move a couch from craigslist at 11:00am. Period.

Daniel_ · 07-06-2010, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leto

How do you do this without the mirror fogging up? After 30 odd years of shaving, I still can't figure out how to do it in the shower.

I don't use a mirror!

After several decades of owning my face, I can shave it without looking.

Stare At The Sun · 07-06-2010, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pearl Trade

Wasn't there a thread here on TFP just for this topic? More guys piss sitting down than you'd think.

I do.

I enjoy reading as much and as often as I can. I always have a book in the bathroom that I read only when I'm in there.

If I go in to piss, I'll sit down, crack open my book, read a page, and be done.

I've read a ton of books that way. Always have read whenever I'm on the toilet. Just seems like the best way to spend that otherwise pointless time.

Ratman · 07-07-2010, 03:27 AM

Just a quick swipe of your finger on the soap, then the mirror, no fog.

Jetée · 07-07-2010, 12:28 PM

I find this thread wildly entertaining.

Do I have something to contribute at the moment, though?

- "A man cannot produce chemically or commercially-viable natural oil from his person."
- "A man should not leave the oil in his car circulating unchecked for a period above
3.001 miles driven, assuming said man owns and cherishes a properly-working vehicle."

MSD · 07-13-2010, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetée

- "A man should not leave the oil in his car circulating unchecked for a period above
3.001 miles driven, assuming said man owns and cherishes a properly-working vehicle."

You should check it every other time you get gas, but I don't think anyone even makes cars with a 3000 mile oil interval anymore. Mine is 5000 miles, and BMW does 12000

uncle phil · 07-13-2010, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe

Be raped by a woman?

been there, done that...

or, rather, had that done to me...

Xerxys · 07-13-2010, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetée

"A man cannot produce chemically or commercially-viable natural oil from his person."

Yes. But a woman can!

It puts the lotion on it's skin!! It puts the lotion on it's fucking skin!!

06-30-2010, 11:20 AM	#44 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	I prefer Gallagher. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

06-30-2010, 11:41 AM	#45 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	A man should not call a woman "crabby" (as in grumpy), even if he was joking. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

06-30-2010, 11:42 AM	#46 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Hah! I do it all the time. I also use the dreaded phrase, "Hey, just relax." ... Cimarron, didn't scientists recently have issues with "The Decline of the Y in the XY" or something? I read about in Time magazine or something. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

07-05-2010, 02:46 AM	#47 (permalink)
thingstodo A Storm Is Coming Location: The Great White North	How about this one I heard from years ago: men can't lean their head agaist a wall, pick up a chair and then stand up - but women can. Anyone remeber that one? __________________ If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves. Stangers have the best candy.

07-07-2010, 03:27 AM	#61 (permalink)
Ratman Addict Location: Somewhere... Across the sea...	Just a quick swipe of your finger on the soap, then the mirror, no fog. __________________ The difference between theory and reality is that in theory there is no difference. "God made man, but he used the monkey to do it." DEVO

07-05-2010, 07:20 AM	#48 (permalink)
Jove Groovy Hipster Nerd Location: Michigan	Jump in lava.

07-05-2010, 10:49 PM	#55 (permalink)
Cernunnos Insane Location: Orlando, Florida	A man should not limit himself based on gender stereotypes.

07-06-2010, 07:10 AM	#56 (permalink)
Jove Groovy Hipster Nerd Location: Michigan	Fight a gorilla.

07-06-2010, 09:39 PM	#58 (permalink)
surferlove007 Junkie	Men should not take their truck into the shop to get it worked on at 10:30am, when they promised their girlfriend to help move a couch from craigslist at 11:00am. Period.

07-07-2010, 12:28 PM	#62 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	I find this thread wildly entertaining. Do I have something to contribute at the moment, though? - "A man cannot produce chemically or commercially-viable natural oil from his person." - "A man should not leave the oil in his car circulating unchecked for a period above 3.001 miles driven, assuming said man owns and cherishes a properly-working vehicle." __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi