Things a man cannot or should not do - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Strange Famous · 06-07-2010, 12:22 PM

Things a man should not do:

* sign a txt message, an email, a Facebook message etc with x's (even if its to a girl it still isnt ok)
* spend more than 5 minutes in the shower
* use moisturizer (I am so manly I cannot spell the word as you see)

Things a man cannot do

* Be a mother
* Cry (at least speaking for myself, and my experiences in life so far)... although there have been a few times I felt like it
* Be physically beautiful

Craven Morehead · 06-07-2010, 12:30 PM

lactate

Strange Famous · 06-07-2010, 12:33 PM

Is that true? I am sure I read that men can do that in some cases, although its never happened to me.

Baraka_Guru · 06-07-2010, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

spend more than 5 minutes in the shower

I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Five minutes doesn't cut it. It takes at least that much to properly wash up.

Quote:

use moisturizer (I am so manly I cannot spell the word as you see)

I have eczema that is brutally triggered in the cold winter months. I live in Canada.

Quote:

Cry (at least speaking for myself, and my experiences in life so far)... although there have been a few times I felt like it

This is so wrong. Men can totally cry.

Quote:

Be physically beautiful

"Beautiful" often takes on subjective meaning as a word. If you mean "aesthetically pleasing," as in a pleasing appearance due to symmetrical lines and other considerations of shape, then I would say without a doubt that men can be physically beautiful. Though I will point out that in most cases, they would be called "handsome" or "striking" or "gorgeous" instead of "beautiful," which is often applied in a feminine way.

One merely needs to look at Michaelangelo's David to know what I'm talking about. Hollywood has many real-life examples.

Strange Famous · 06-07-2010, 12:38 PM

1 - 5 minutes is plenty of time to wash. The toilet is the place for thinking

2 - a real man treats dry skin with sandpaper

3 - thats one thing I can agree with. I think crying sometimes would help a lot, Ive just never been able to do it

4 - yes, it can mean different things. But in the sense I mean it, David, or any other man, cannot do it.

Baraka_Guru · 06-07-2010, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

1 - 5 minutes is plenty of time to wash. The toilet is the place for thinking

I'd sooner sit in a chair that's actually comfortable. The thing with the shower is that the sound and touch of water sets the mind in motion.

Quote:

a real man treats dry skin with sandpaper

I'll assume this is a joke. If I simply stop using moisturizer, my hands will bleed on their own.

Quote:

thats one thing I can agree with. I think crying sometimes would help a lot, Ive just never been able to do it

You sometimes just have to let it out. Try it in the shower.

Quote:

yes, it can mean different things. But in the sense I mean it, David, or any other man, cannot do it.

So would you say that all men are either repulsive or simply aesthetically inert? To that I would have to disagree. I'm not saying that beautiful = sexually appealing.

LordEden · 06-07-2010, 12:44 PM

HA! This has train wreck written all over it. Since I only watch the crashes in NASCAR, I'll play along.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

* spend more than 5 minutes in the shower

I don't know about you, but I can't shower in 5 minutes on my best day, unless it's a jump in and rinse off kind of thing.

Oooooooh, I got a good one.

Be a male fashion model.

Strange Famous · 06-07-2010, 12:53 PM

I am not saying that all men are repulsive, but you cannot deny that men are not so well designed looks wise as women, surely?

Xerxys · 06-07-2010, 01:26 PM

^^ Once again, beauty is subjective. I know of women who say the exact same thing about other women. What you have is a preference limited completely to yourself.

I agree about the "XOXOXOXO" thing with text messages, emails, facebook posts, tfp posts, letters, pretty much just stop it altogether!

I also say men must NEVER use "txt spk" in forums.

FuglyStick · 06-07-2010, 01:31 PM

menstrate

LordEden · 06-07-2010, 01:36 PM

be uglier than fugly

Baraka_Guru · 06-07-2010, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

I am not saying that all men are repulsive, but you cannot deny that men are not so well designed looks wise as women, surely?

I can deny that, because I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean.

There are men who I would say are more beautiful than a lot of women. Women aren't more beautiful by default and by virtue of being female. There is no inherent advantage in the female form that suggests that men aren't "as well designed." The male form doesn't have the exact same set of formal qualities as the female form. They can't be judged by the exact same criteria. Therein lies our problem, I think.

Daniel_ · 06-07-2010, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

Things a man should not do:

* sign a txt message, an email, a Facebook message etc with x's (even if its to a girl it still isnt ok)

I do this to my wife - she likes it, and a little oil keeps the engine running smooth

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

* spend more than 5 minutes in the shower

I generally shave in the shower, so spend over five minutes there. I like long showers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

* use moisturizer (I am so manly I cannot spell the word as you see)

I use barrier cream on my hands after washing with detergents - a habit I picked up when I worked in labs with dangerous chemicals. It's better than dermatitis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

Things a man cannot do

* Be a mother

I cannot give birth, that's true, but having spent time as a single parent, there is nothing beyond gestation and birth that a mother can do that I cannot replicate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

* Cry (at least speaking for myself, and my experiences in life so far)... although there have been a few times I felt like it

Trust me, a man can cry - I have cried in physical and emotional pain, and I have cried in joy and relief at various times in my life. More as I get older.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

* Be physically beautiful

Speak for yourself - I am gorgeous.

Manic_Skafe · 06-07-2010, 02:08 PM

Be raped by a woman?

Wear paisley prints. Seriously, unless you're Austin Powers, Steven Tyler or a pimp, leave them alone.

Cernunnos · 06-07-2010, 06:57 PM

A man should not presume to compare the pains of childbirth with his own experiences.
A man should not underestimate the effects of monthly hormonal variations, or worse, menopause.
A man should not offer sound advice when a woman is clearly seeking emotional support.

Craven Morehead · 06-07-2010, 07:00 PM

A man should never agree that the clothes in question makes her ass look fat.

The_Dunedan · 06-07-2010, 07:18 PM

A man should never beat his wife...and then teach her how to use a pistol. (Thank you, Christopher Titus!)

A man should never piss on an electrified fence. Come to think of it, -nobody- should piss on an electrified fence.

A man should never, under any circumstances, indulge a friend who holds up a Tazer or stun-gun and say "Hold still'n watch'is!"

Cernunnos · 06-07-2010, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Dunedan

A man should never beat his wife...and then teach her how to use a pistol. (Thank you, Christopher Titus!)

A wonderful example of justice.

FuglyStick · 06-07-2010, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordEden

be uglier than fugly

That hurts. But it's true.

Daniel_ · 06-07-2010, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe

Be raped by a woman?

Wear paisley prints. Seriously, unless you're Austin Powers, Steven Tyler or a pimp, leave them alone.

Seen Blue Velvet? That has a man raped by a woman.

Lucifer · 06-08-2010, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe

Be raped by a woman?

.

Shit disturber

The_Jazz · 06-08-2010, 03:47 AM

A man should never read this thread. Too many bounderies. I don't want you fuckers telling me what I can and can't do. I'll let the law and gravity decide that.

ShaniFaye · 06-26-2010, 11:40 AM

what a crock of shite lol

Dave uses X's AND O's, showers for more than 5 minutes and uses moisturizer. He also like to get manicures and pedicures (he swears he has new feet when all the rough patches have been scraped off lol). He is perfectly able to cry and is physically beautiful in my eyes

I really hate when men think men should or should act or do certain things in order to have their "man card" jesus christ I hate that phrase. I want a man (and I certainly have one) that doesnt subscribe to that bullshit and there is not one single solitary thing I'd change about him.

oh...and Daniel...yes you are gorgeous

MSD · 06-26-2010, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Dunedan

A man should never, under any circumstances, indulge a friend who holds up a Tazer or stun-gun and say "Hold still'n watch'is!"

Disagree. It's hilarious. The last time that happened I shocked myself a few times on the arm with no serious result, then managed to put the electrodes on opposite sides of my bicep and punched myself in the face as my forearm jerked up toward me.

World's King · 06-26-2010, 01:45 PM

This thread is offensive.

Xerxys · 06-26-2010, 06:21 PM

Be offended by threads ... I mean, seriously ...

Daniel_ · 06-27-2010, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye

oh...and Daniel...yes you are gorgeous

Stare At The Sun · 06-27-2010, 11:29 AM

Do you just try and troll as much as possible?

You have no hygiene, emotions, or a girlfriend/wife to send your virtual love.

The same is not true for other people.

PS - Women like men that have nice hair, don't smell, and have smooth skin that doesn't look/feel like sandpaper. Women also like men that show love in cute ways, and have emotions/show them.

Looks wise, you can objectively state that many men are beautiful or handsome. Just because you lack * any * security in your sexuality doesn't mean that others do.

You might find the feminine form more attractive. I'm sure the inverse is true for a great deal of women, and some men.

You should stop posting drivel such as this.

Xerxys · 06-27-2010, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stare At The Sun

Do you just try and troll as much as possible?

Dude, loosing battle ...

Xerxys · 06-27-2010, 10:46 PM

Quote:

“
A Letter To Men by Christina Hendricks

from galadarling.com by Gala100+ people liked this

If you’ve been reading for a while, you should know that I seldom publish writing by anyone else. Having said that, I discovered this open letter yesterday & thought it was great. I hope you enjoy it too.

A Letter To Men by Christina Hendricks

“
We love your body. If we’re in love with you, we love your body. Your potbelly, everything. Even if you’re insecure about something, we love your body. You feel like you’re not this or that? We love your body. We embrace everything. Because it’s you.
Speaking of your body, you don’t understand the power of your own smell. Any woman who is currently with a man is with him partly because she loves the way he smells. And if we haven’t smelled you for a day or two and then we suddenly are within inches of you, we swoon. We get light-headed. It’s intoxicating. It’s heady.
We remember forever what you say about the bodies of other women. When you mention in passing that a certain woman is attractive — could be someone in the office, a woman on the
street, a celebrity, any woman in the world, really — your comment goes into a steel box and it stays there forever. We will file the comment under “Women He Finds Attractive.” It’s not about
whether or not we approve of the comment. It’s about learning what you think is sexy and how we might be able to convey it. It’s about keeping our man by knowing what he likes.
We also remember everything you say about our bodies, be it good or bad. Doesn’t matter if it’s a compliment. Could be just a comment. Those things you say are stored away in the steel
box, and we remember these things verbatim. We remember what you were wearing and the street corner you were standing on when you said it.
Never complain about our friends — even if we do. No matter how many times we say a friend of ours is driving us crazy, you are not to pile on. Not because it offends us. But because it adds to the weight that we carry around about her.
Remember what we like. When I first started dating my husband, I had this weird fascination with the circus and clowns and old carnival things and sideshow freaks and all that. About a month after we started dating, he bought me this amazing black-and-white photo book on the circus in the 1930s, and I started sobbing. Which freaked him out. I thought, Oh, my God, I mentioned this three or four weeks ago and talked about it briefly, but he was really listening to me. And he actually went out and researched and found this thing for me. It was amazing.
We want you to order Scotch. It’s the most impressive drink order. It’s classic. It’s sexy. Such a rich color. The glass, the smell. It’s not watered down with fruit juice. It’s Scotch. And you ordered it.
Stand up, open a door, offer a jacket. We talk about it with our friends after you do it. We say, “Can you believe he stood up when I approached the table?” It makes us feel important. And it makes you important because we talk about it.
No shorts that go below the knee. The ones almost like capri pants, the ones that hover somewhere between the kneecap and the calf? Enough with those shorts. They are the most embarrassing pants in the world. They should never be worn. No woman likes those.
Also, no tank tops. In public at least. A tank top is underwear. You’re walking around in your underwear. Too much.
No man should be on Facebook. It’s an invasion of everyone’s privacy. I really cannot stand it.
You don’t know this, but when we come back from a date, we feel awkward about that transition from our cute outfit into sexy lingerie. We don’t know how to do this gracefully. It’s embarrassing. We have to find a way to slip into another room, put on the outfit as if it all happened very easily, and then come out and it’s: Look at me! Look at the sexy thing I’ve done! For you, it’s the blink of an eye. It’s all very embarrassing. Just so you know.
Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying “panties”? It’s sexy. It’s girlie. It’s naughty. Say it more.
About ogling: The men who look, they really look. It doesn’t insult us. It doesn’t faze us, really. It’s just — well, it’s a little infantile. Which is ironic, isn’t it? The men who constantly stare at our breasts are never the men we’re attracted to.
There are better words than beautiful. Radiant, for instance. It’s an underused word. It’s a very special word. “You are radiant.” Also, enchanting, smoldering, intoxicating, charming, fetching.
Marriage changes very little. The only things that will get a married man laid that won’t get a single man laid are adultery and whores. Intelligence and humor (and your smell) are what get you laid. That’s what got you laid when you were single. That’s what gets you laid when you’re married. Everything still works in marriage: especially intelligence and humor. Because the sexiest thing is to know you.

“

Eat your heart out.

hiredgun · 06-28-2010, 01:12 AM

I was mostly onboard with that, but 'no man should be on Facebook', really?

LordEden · 06-28-2010, 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hiredgun

I was mostly onboard with that, but 'no man should be on Facebook', really?

No one should be on facebook, ever. If I could nuke one website and make it disappear from all human memory, it would be facebook.

ShaniFaye · 06-28-2010, 04:34 AM

I feel there are two main things a man should not do. Forget hygiene procedures, forget what websites they may like, forget flowery comments, forget grand gestures of manners. All women want different things from their men...some dont think their men should ever want to ever lay eyes on another, while others (like me) dont give a shit. Some want to be showered with flowers...some dont (like me, I think its a perfect waste of money) and on and on and on

This is what is important in what a "man should not do"
1. He must not hit women
2. He must not molest or hurt children

Personally there would be a 3rd on my list, he should not ever try to push his definition of manhood on another man

Baraka_Guru · 06-28-2010, 04:57 AM

Men should not....

...expect others to define for them what they cannot or should not do.

Jove · 06-28-2010, 06:02 AM

Stare at the sun.

Cimarron29414 · 06-28-2010, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Five minutes doesn't cut it. It takes at least that much to properly wash up.

I have eczema that is brutally triggered in the cold winter months. I live in Canada.

This is so wrong. Men can totally cry.
"Beautiful" often takes on subjective meaning as a word. If you mean "aesthetically pleasing," as in a pleasing appearance due to symmetrical lines and other considerations of shape, then I would say without a doubt that men can be physically beautiful. Though I will point out that in most cases, they would be called "handsome" or "striking" or "gorgeous" instead of "beautiful," which is often applied in a feminine way.

One merely needs to look at Michaelangelo's David to know what I'm talking about. Hollywood has many real-life examples.

Baraka_Guru · 06-28-2010, 11:31 AM

You should see my gametes.

Cimarron29414 · 06-28-2010, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

You should see my gametes.

I'll bet you moisturize them too, nancy-boy.

Baraka_Guru · 06-28-2010, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cimarron29414

I'll bet you moisturize them, nancy-boy.

Actually, others use them as facial moisturizer.

snowy · 06-28-2010, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

Actually, others use them as facial moisturizer.

OH SNAP!

I'm going to be chortling over this one for a while.

06-07-2010, 12:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	Things a man cannot or should not do Things a man should not do: * sign a txt message, an email, a Facebook message etc with x's (even if its to a girl it still isnt ok) * spend more than 5 minutes in the shower * use moisturizer (I am so manly I cannot spell the word as you see) Things a man cannot do * Be a mother * Cry (at least speaking for myself, and my experiences in life so far)... although there have been a few times I felt like it * Be physically beautiful __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

06-07-2010, 12:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	Is that true? I am sure I read that men can do that in some cases, although its never happened to me. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

06-07-2010, 12:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	1 - 5 minutes is plenty of time to wash. The toilet is the place for thinking 2 - a real man treats dry skin with sandpaper 3 - thats one thing I can agree with. I think crying sometimes would help a lot, Ive just never been able to do it 4 - yes, it can mean different things. But in the sense I mean it, David, or any other man, cannot do it. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

06-07-2010, 12:53 PM	#8 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	I am not saying that all men are repulsive, but you cannot deny that men are not so well designed looks wise as women, surely? __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

06-07-2010, 01:31 PM	#10 (permalink)
FuglyStick WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE! Location: Southern Illinois	menstrate __________________ AZIZ! LIGHT!

06-07-2010, 12:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	lactate

06-07-2010, 01:26 PM	#9 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	^^ Once again, beauty is subjective. I know of women who say the exact same thing about other women. What you have is a preference limited completely to yourself. I agree about the "XOXOXOXO" thing with text messages, emails, facebook posts, tfp posts, letters, pretty much just stop it altogether! I also say men must NEVER use "txt spk" in forums.

06-07-2010, 02:08 PM	#14 (permalink)
Manic_Skafe More Than You Expect Location: Queens	Be raped by a woman? Wear paisley prints. Seriously, unless you're Austin Powers, Steven Tyler or a pimp, leave them alone. __________________ "Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

06-07-2010, 06:57 PM	#15 (permalink)
Cernunnos Insane Location: Orlando, Florida	A man should not presume to compare the pains of childbirth with his own experiences. A man should not underestimate the effects of monthly hormonal variations, or worse, menopause. A man should not offer sound advice when a woman is clearly seeking emotional support.

06-07-2010, 07:00 PM	#16 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	A man should never agree that the clothes in question makes her ass look fat.

06-07-2010, 07:18 PM	#17 (permalink)
The_Dunedan Junkie	A man should never beat his wife...and then teach her how to use a pistol. (Thank you, Christopher Titus!) A man should never piss on an electrified fence. Come to think of it, -nobody- should piss on an electrified fence. A man should never, under any circumstances, indulge a friend who holds up a Tazer or stun-gun and say "Hold still'n watch'is!"

06-08-2010, 03:47 AM	#22 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	A man should never read this thread. Too many bounderies. I don't want you fuckers telling me what I can and can't do. I'll let the law and gravity decide that. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

06-26-2010, 11:40 AM	#23 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	what a crock of shite lol Dave uses X's AND O's, showers for more than 5 minutes and uses moisturizer. He also like to get manicures and pedicures (he swears he has new feet when all the rough patches have been scraped off lol). He is perfectly able to cry and is physically beautiful in my eyes I really hate when men think men should or should act or do certain things in order to have their "man card" jesus christ I hate that phrase. I want a man (and I certainly have one) that doesnt subscribe to that bullshit and there is not one single solitary thing I'd change about him. oh...and Daniel...yes you are gorgeous __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

06-26-2010, 01:45 PM	#25 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	This thread is offensive. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

06-26-2010, 06:21 PM	#26 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	Be offended by threads ... I mean, seriously ...

06-27-2010, 11:29 AM	#28 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	Do you just try and troll as much as possible? You have no hygiene, emotions, or a girlfriend/wife to send your virtual love. The same is not true for other people. PS - Women like men that have nice hair, don't smell, and have smooth skin that doesn't look/feel like sandpaper. Women also like men that show love in cute ways, and have emotions/show them. Looks wise, you can objectively state that many men are beautiful or handsome. Just because you lack * any * security in your sexuality doesn't mean that others do. You might find the feminine form more attractive. I'm sure the inverse is true for a great deal of women, and some men. You should stop posting drivel such as this.

06-28-2010, 01:12 AM	#31 (permalink)
hiredgun Addict	I was mostly onboard with that, but 'no man should be on Facebook', really?

06-28-2010, 04:34 AM	#33 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I feel there are two main things a man should not do. Forget hygiene procedures, forget what websites they may like, forget flowery comments, forget grand gestures of manners. All women want different things from their men...some dont think their men should ever want to ever lay eyes on another, while others (like me) dont give a shit. Some want to be showered with flowers...some dont (like me, I think its a perfect waste of money) and on and on and on This is what is important in what a "man should not do" 1. He must not hit women 2. He must not molest or hurt children Personally there would be a 3rd on my list, he should not ever try to push his definition of manhood on another man __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

06-28-2010, 04:57 AM	#34 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	Men should not.... ...expect others to define for them what they cannot or should not do. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

06-28-2010, 06:02 AM	#35 (permalink)
Jove Groovy Hipster Nerd Location: Michigan	Stare at the sun.

06-28-2010, 11:31 AM	#37 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	You should see my gametes. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot