Grayson

I am in my early twenties. I am fairly good-looking, but I want to further enhance and develop my personality so that I can be more attractive and be an instant hit with the fairer sex. I want to be a deadly combination of good looks coupled with a magnetic personality. Are there any sites for help?

Glory's Sun

a website or book isn't going to give you a "deadly" combination of anything in this sense. you will never be an instant hit with everybody. no matter how much you hone your personality, someone will not like it. the best bet, is to just be yourself. if you're having problems engaging the fairer sex, then the best thing to do is to get out there and just engage with women, not read a website and throw some tactic at them.

women can smell bullshit a mile away.

Baraka_Guru

Read books.

And I don't mean self-help.

I mean real books.

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thespian86

Seconded.

The best advice anyone can give you is take the things you love and develop. That and accept. Accept, accept, accept. No ideas of what you can mold or change. Develop, don't mold. "Mold" is another word for "man, I feel like I'm going in circles". Be true to yourself and all that jazz.

Life is pretty simple as long as you live, instead of trying to live; if that makes sense.

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squeeeb

go out into the world and live, really live and learn, come close to death, have adventures, push yourself past what you think you are capable of. get fucked up and do fucked up shit. experience gives you confidence, gives you personality, and gives you awesome stories to impress others with. i agree with reading books, just remember, you can read all the books about mountain climbing, how to, personal experiences, you can see all the movies, you can talk to others who have done it, but unless you have actually climbed a mountain, you won't know what it's like, and there is a difference.

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onward to mayhem!

high_jinx

some good advice here, but the truth is that there are some real good books out there on being a "pickup artist". there's even an acronym "pua" thats used in a lot of chat rooms and forums around the web. these books and methods delve into social psychology and communication (both non-verbal and verbal) and give a lot of people a toolset to go out there and attract someone that you might have thought "out of your league" before you learned how to interact.

a lot of women find this stuff offensive and claim it's foul and manipulative, and i agree with some of that... for instance, a lot of guides encourage you to give women backhanded compliments so that they're insecure enough to value your company more at the time. but there's other stuff.... stuff like body position, breaking the ice by talking over your shoulder like you're about to take off somewhere, creating a time constraint... that i'd say is more a matter of learning what does and doesn't pigeonhole you into the cassanova category you want to be in.

overall, i consider this a grey area, and a set of social tools that can be used for evil, like manipulating girls to get with you, or for good, just so that you're charming enough to find the girl of your dreams and seriously date her.

if you want bubble gum, pickup artists for dummies kind of stuff, google "pickup artist mystery" (it's a dude's name), and check out his body of work and forums. if you want more scholarly stuff, i reccomend the book "the art of seduction". it takes a look at 12 or so archetypes of seductive people and compares them to historical figures and their methods, to the point where you can identify with one of them and focus on that kind of toolset.... kind of like astrology and your sign.

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Glory's Sun

anyone who uses anything by Mystery should be castrated. that's the dumbest thing I've ever had the displeasure of seeing.

ice breakers are easy.. say "hi". it's not a difficult thing to do..

the girl of your dreams will appreciate you for who and what you are, not what you learned in some book that helped you snag her.

squeeeb

totally. but he has that cool huge fuzzy hat. i think that is his real secret. if you had that hat, chicks would be all over you.

i think the other thing he has going for him is he is tall and thin, so chicks must assume he is swinging some serious pipe. other than that, he seems quite toolish to me.

you want personality? get a cool hat.

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onward to mayhem!

high_jinx

thats part of what they, including mystery, teach you actually. they have a term for accessories, hats and other stuff that grabs girls attention and makes them want to play with you, or you can practice little playful games with a scarf you're wearing or w/ever. i know it seems like common sense to a lot of people, but as someone who at different times in my life has been painfully shy and awkward or just in my head to much and overthinking things, these things help. just the fact that they get you in the saddle to practice them is a start.

and yea, mystery is a toolbox, but he's also entertaining and it works for the a.d.d. crowd that can't handle a book that has to do with any kind of "ology".

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Strange Famous

What up to any girl and say to her "20 stone penguin"

She'll say, "what?"

You reply Spoiler: "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice"

No girl could resist that. If she does, she must be a lesbian or something.

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high_jinx

lol thats good, but we'd mostly have to roll with 200 pound penguin xD, only ufc fans know "stones" for weight in the u.s.

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snowy

Or Anglophiles.

Don't invest in books that teach you how to play some game.

If you want to read a book that will help you socially, check out How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It won't give you an insta-personality, but it will clue you in to some things that will make you a more attractive and pleasant companion to others.

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Halanna

Instant hit? Does that equal that the girl you are talking to is a sure thing?

Are you trying to make sure you get laid or are you asking how you can relate to women better?

You are born with your looks and your personality is a combination of your heart and your mind. Your heart you can't fight but you can develop your mind. Your instincts combined with what you have learned about life, people and the human condition is your personality. Combine all, you get you.

Try being you instead of someone you've seen in a movie. Be you, smile, genuine, interested and truthful. If you do that, you will have a magnetic personality.

Halx

I don't know if I have a great personality or anything, but one thing I know is that I am a lot more interesting than I was a few years ago. I seem to have a lot more social success these days. What it boils down to is confidence and ambition, with a little experience mixed in. Step 1: do shit with your life. Step 2: let that shit take you places. Step 3: love it and keep wanting more. This is personal development and is focused on yourself. Once you take care of that, you won't have to worry about putting on a show - you'll be the show. I hate to use this as an example, but look at The Most Interesting Man In The World from the Dos Equis commercials; he is himself and people just follow.

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Plan9

Excellent.

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