Dixy

I home school my kids and have been for a number of years because:

We live on a farm so we have to travel some distance on dirt roads to get the kids to school. Then I have to go back again to fetch them, only to find that the little that they learned at school, they could have found in books, on the internet, live etc.

The long traveling tired the kids (and me).

I was very concerned of the way mathematics was taught in our schools, I thought I could do a better job

My question. Does anyone else home school or have done home schooling?

spindles

I know one thing. When it comes time, I'll help my boys with their homework, but I'd be a sucky full-time teacher. Better to have it done by professionals, though it probably helps that the school/s my children will go to are all less than 5 minutes on foot from home

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Supple Cow

Kudos to you. I plan to do this one day when I am ready to have kids and have boned up on everything I need to know to make sure I do things right. I grew up in a suburban/urban area and my parents weren't really equipped for this (nor did we really even know it was possible) so I went to public school. In high school when I started playing in honor bands, I realized that a lot of the really great musicians were home-schooled so that they could structure their days to better fit in all of the practicing required to be musical bad-asses. Having only known public and private school kids, I was pretty sure I didn't want my future kids to be entitled brats like a lot of the private school kids I met (I'm not saying this as a blanket statement - just that it was my experience) but I personally feel that a combination of attending a school that doesn't stray too far from your values and home-schooling is the way to go. Socializing with lots of peers and building an identity away from home and family is important, IMO, but so is learning all the stuff you need to learn at a pace that's tailored to you. It's exactly stuff like math (which the U.S. teaches terribly compared to a lot of other countries) that I'm thinking about here.

Plus, there's the internet these days as you have pointed out. It seems that as technology advances, there are fewer reasons for people to endure the mandatory pointless activities of high school. Home schooling seems like one good way to take steps toward an education that matches the pace of our increasingly globalized culture.

Do your kids enjoy it? Do you think it frees up their time for other pursuits and becoming more well-rounded people in general?

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filtherton

My landlords home school their kids. I can only assume that the kids will grow up believing that lead isn't poisonous, that all government employees are jack-booted thugs, and that being either hyper manipulative or gruffly aloof is the best way to interact with people.

We've thought about homeschooling our daughter. It really depends on a lot of things though, time probably being the most pressing.

We definitely see a lot of the bad things about the out-of-home primary education system in the US, but we aren't necessarily sure that opting out is the most productive response. School boards are pretty much the most local form of government and it seems like the kind of route by which passionate, motivated people can make real, significant change. Maybe that's a bit naive.

In the end, though, I don't really think it matters all that much. I believe that there are a lot of important, intangible things, that are both learned completely separate from any sort of formal education and provide a much greater contribution to overall happiness and satisfaction later in life than anything taught in primary school.

Though I admittedly lack any sort of evidence, I kind of feel that as long as my kid feels safe where she goes to school, and isn't subject to any sort of permanent emotional crippling, whether she receives her primary education from me or someone else isn't really that important.

Dixy

@Supple Cow. My kids just love it. Every year I give them the choice of going back to school, but they just scoff at me.

My daughter is the musician and she finds a lot of time to practice music. My son is the computer geek (he found this forum for me) and he again, spends a lot of time doing the "geek things".

The children do the Cambridge international certificates and the curriculum is both challenging and interesting.

ShaniFaye

My daughter has been home schooled for 10 years (she is 15 now). She is not only more social than I was at her age, she is more confident. Our county has a most excellent HS association which always has some activity going on for the kids to participate and interact in. Like your daughter is a very accomplished musician, and is fast becoming a wonderful artist and has always turned down the offer to go to public school. She consistently tests in the top 2% of the nation and always above her grade level

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genuinegirly

Dixy - Kudos to you for finding a system that works better with your kids and your lifestyle. Where you live, it sounds like homeschooling is a necessity.

Shani - sounds like your daughter is thriving with your current system. Way to go!

My sister has considered homeschooling her children on multiple occasions, but she lives in a suburban area where an elementary school is within a reasonable driving distance and offers an excellent academic environment, so she chooses to go with the existing school system. She considered homeschooling all of her children at some point because their allergies are somewhat limiting. She removed one of her sons from a preschool program and started homeschooling because he kept coming home with breathing problems and hives. The preschool refused to offer a nut-free environment at snack time, and refunded her money. While homeschooling, her son learned how to read, some basic writing, and arithmetic. He started kindergarten this year and is far behind socially (hits other kids when they infringe on his space, throws fits when he doesn't have his way, can't sit in his seat for long periods of time), but is working at a second grade academic level. The teacher is aware of his academic status and gives him alternate assignmnents. For this kid, it's all about learning how to interact with others, and to accept that he can't always have things his way. He has a whole heck of a lot of learning to do before he can be in a class with other kids at his academic level.

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telekinetic

I home schooled and graduated with a correspondence school high school diploma. Graduated at 16 and got full ride scholarships based on my SAT scores, and went through college better prepared than many of my peers...no regrets here!

Since homeschool at the high school level is basically picking out classes and getting the right books, with very little Parent Teacher involvement, I was used to teaching myself out of books with no help, so having a professor was a bonus--as opposed to some people being used to getting spoon fed info, and thus spent a semester or two getting used to learning with less guidance in the college environment.

I like that homeschooling gave me the philosophy that learning is my responsibility--I'm not saying that people who didn't lack it, but I'm used to being the only one responsible for my own education.

We will be homeschooling our kids up until the point they are able to decide otherwise--I will provide input, but respect their decision, same as my parents did (my sister went to some school).

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snowy

There are certainly situations where home schooling is appropriate. If we stayed here, I wouldn't home school mostly because our school system is really good. It's likely that I would try to get my potential future child into the Core Knowledge K-8 school here; the staff there spends a lot of time on extra training for the Core Knowledge curriculum and I like the way that the curriculum uses building blocks so that each grade level builds on the previous grade level in a cohesive, school-wide manner.

If we end up in a school district with a poor school system, it's likely I would home school. It's doubtful I would home school in the early years; good Montessori and Waldorf schools (whose pedagogical philosophies I agree with) are easy to find in any of the places that are on our short list of places to settle.

I myself went through the public schools, but both of my parents worked in the public school system, and did a great job of making sure I got the best education possible within that system. They were also the kind of people that emphasized learning outside of school. Every summer we would take a big trip somewhere; unlike other families taking trips to sunny beaches we often went to national parks or cities with cultural attractions so as to enhance our learning. I was also allowed to read whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted (therefore sending me to my room wasn't much of a punishment, as it was where all my books were). I want to have the same kind of attitude with my future children.

I already teach-as-I-go when I babysit and nanny; I get a lot of compliments from parents on my ability to explain complicated concepts to children in terms they can understand. I also get a lot of kudos for teaching the children important social skills, such as how to be polite.

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cj2112

I recently pulled my son out of the local Middle School in favor of a small alternative charter type program. There are 4 kids in his class. His performance in this environment is substantially better than it has ever been, he is enjoying school much more, and it's literally a couple of blocks away from my office.

We looked into homeschooling as another option, and may do so in the future. If we do, we will likely do an online school such as connectionsacademy.com./ I have talked to the parents of two students of that school and both had great things to say.

spindles

Dixy, how are you finding the teaching workload? Part of my reluctance to do this, is my acknowledgement that I lack knowledge in lots of areas.

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ShaniFaye

I cant speak for Dixy, but in our area this is one reason the HS association is so great, its full of people that can help in the areas that you as the teacher "aren't so smart in". For example, I may know a good bit of math, but once you get to Geometry I'm completely lost, there will be a person that can help with that part, same with foreign language or other sections

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telekinetic

We had coop PE classes and Chemistry class and auto shop when I homeschooled...Arizona had a pretty active home school network.

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MSD

From what I've seen, the majority of homeschooling happens because nutty, super religious parents don't want their kids exposed to the evils of public schools. The majority of the rest (which is a small percentage) just think that they can do better than what's usually a failing school system and can't afford private school.

On another forum, someone asked about a friend's homeschooled kids, three of who seemed to simply be maladjusted, spoiled, antisocial brats. The last one was younger and showed multiple symptoms of severe OCD and a severe autism spectrum disorder (not to diagnose over the Internet, but if anyone I know had a kid who showed half of the symptoms, I would urge the parent to see a specialist in developmental disorders because something is clearly wrong.) The parents did the lessons for the day, then left their free-range kids to themselves.

The latter is the kind of thing I think of when I hear "homeschooled." I think it can be a valuable tool if public education won't cut it and private schools are out of reach, but I think it also conditions children to be too dependent on their parents and will lead to difficulty in breaking away when they're adults. Most importantly, children need to socialize with other kids, and not just homeschooled ones. There are some things that are part of the cultural mindset that kids can only get in school, depriving them of shared experiences hinders their ability to relate to others now and later in life. If you do it for the right reasons, it's fine, but way too many people are allowed to fuck up their kids' lives and social development because they can't stand the thought of exposing them to the outside world.

Dixy

@spindles: My son is busy writing his equivalent to middle school exam and my daughter is in the middle school phase. At the moment my workload regarding their schoolwork is very little as they take responsibility of their own work. When the kids were smaller, we worked together a lot, but now we just look at the progress and discuss options.

As a number of people already pointed out, there is a lot of help available. We purchased the curriculum with tutor support, but I have not used it much.

I know my son goes to one or other chat room with all his science and maths queries. I believe there are teachers keen to help children with their work. The only thing he learned to do, is quickly explain that he is not English home tongue and that our link is very slow. They have lots of patience and really helps. Just following the chat as the teacher helps other children, also is beneficial.

For the parents, Yahoo has a number of home schooling groups. Some are very "religiousy" but a lot are just parents helping each other. I joined one for Afrikaans (my home tongue) and English speakers.

Apart from that, there are so many web sites built to help with school, I found just googling the question, directs me to them.

@MSD: Yes I have also met some messed up home school kids. But I dare say, they either have or would have failed just as spectacularly in any school system. Unfortunately often when the school cannot/will not help the child, the parents turn to home schooling for all the wrong reasons.

ASU2003

The one thing I wish I could have done is follow what I wanted to learn, not just what the public school wanted to teach me for an hour and then switch gears and do a completely different topic for an hour...then pile on busy work and attach a grade to that.

There were a bunch of classes that would have been beneficial that my parents could have taught, but I never learned. Like socializing, making friends, taxes, how government works, life lessons (things to do, things not to do, things they wish they did), starting a small business, etc...

spindles

I don't think that because my kids go out to school that they don't learn anything at home. My eldest son is 4.5, but already wants to help gardening, cooking etc. I also think that there are huge social opportunities for kids outside school hours, whether they are sport, religion or family based. Just because kids go to school doesn't stop their parents teaching them *extra* stuff.

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telekinetic

*sigh* Trust me, you're not the only one outside the system who thinks this. Despite the fact that homeschoolers consistently test higher than their public school peers, and that there are plenty of normal people out there quietly homeschooling their kids and doing a damn good job, home schooling will never shake the stereotype of being the bastion of the 'nutty super religious.'

Yeah, I feel so deprived. However could I or any other student possibly learn the social skills needed to relate to people in a mature manner without first having to learn to deal with a bunch of cliquey kids?

I'd type more, but it would just continue to sound defensive, so I will just say this: realize for me specifically, and for the parents in this thread, you aren't speaking in abstractions about these kids of this neighbor of a friend on another forum...you are talking about me and us and our kids. Yay stereotype perpetuation! I'm not saying there aren't some people that fit your mental image of homeschoolers, but I'd hope you are willing to concede that there are many who do not.

Here's one of the many reports that consistently find home education to be equal or superior to public or private:
http://epaa.asu.edu/epaa/v7n8/

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Poppinjay

We had a landlord like that, until she went into bankruptcy. She refused to return our deposit. More than anything, she couldn't afford the Catholic school anymore, and rather than do the work to get them into the local school, she just lets them stay home and tries to ram the knowledge into them come test time.

I could definitely see home schooling in our future if, for some reason, we had to move into DC. Their new super is doing an admirable job, it's just that the Justice League would be needed to rescue those schools. Otherwise, we want him on a path to TJ High in NoVA or the Montgomery County MD district. Top school systems in the country. People who live states away maintain a residence here just so their kids can apply to get into TJ High.

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Dixy

Sadly the public schooling system in South Africa is failing dismally. The latest research showed that only 36% of grade 3 children can read and count.

Having said that, our local school taught my kids till grade 6 and 4 respectively, and honestly I cannot complain about the school, it was kind of all right.

It is just for our family, home schooling works miles better.

Aladdin Sane

Finding several homeschoolers here on TFP should help break down the stereotypes of homeschoolers expressed by one or two members above. Time for some evolution...

I have homeschool my son for six years. It was not an easy decision. I was a public school teacher. I've been in the education industry for over 20 years. The fact is that the government schools in my town failed to teach my son. He was in second grade and was unable to read. Six weeks into homeschool and he was reading.

Can anyone provide links/resources for homeschoolers? Can you share the curriculum you use?

This is a wonderful thread.

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snowy

As a nanny, I can firmly say that there are PLENTY of social opportunities for children out there that can expose them to the same sort of socialization they would get in school, but it's up to the parent to make those opportunities available for their children. I take advantage of these opportunities with children in my care on a regular basis.

Additionally, as spindles pointed out, learning shouldn't end when school ends; there are plenty of learning opportunities at home for public school children. Again, it takes a committed parent to make that work, and therein lies the rub: many parents think the public school system should be responsible for teaching their child everything, but that's just not how it works. There is only so much a public school--even a GOOD public school--can teach a child during the allotted instructional time. It's up to parents to expand that instructional time into the home and make connections between the child's lessons and home life. I imagine in home schooling it's much easier to make those connections.

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Zeraph

I'm a teacher, and I've also seen kids who are now adults that have been home schooled through high school. Facts are not the main purpose of public schools, socialization and basic life interaction is the main thing they learn. The kids who had never been to a public school were . . . different. They tend to have fewer friends and have more difficulty sustaining romantic relationships. On the other hand, they also seemed happier than most. Plus if you send your kid to public school they could still end up having social problems anyway.

Personally I think a combination of public schooling and home schooling is currently best in the U.S. Perhaps a year on, and a year off method.

Poppinjay

I've known some home schoolers, and I think there are some stereotypes that are true, but I think they mostly apply to those home schooled for religious or political reasons. I would imagine those types are also not allowed to participate in sports and activites with public schooled kids.

One person I hired was exactly like that. He had a crush on another person I hired and went so far as to bring his parents to meet her. She detested him. And she was pretty "active". I think his parents would have locked him in a sealed room if they knew how much she had done and at such an early age.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

ASU2003

I'm someone who went to public school and never learned socialization skills. I was 23 before I realized that eye contact was important, but still don't do it right.

The thing with the year on, year off method is that there are still required things to learn. While it's true that there are other ways to teach the basic subjects better than a public school can, I think we need to look at how kids learn at the public schools a little more. K-6 elementary school was fine just as it was. I had no problems with public school education methods in that age range. 7-9 middle school left out some things and I would have liked to research and study a few things outside of what they were teaching. Something like one day a week to socialize and meet other people, read books, study a topic of your choosing, or a group project of some sorts would have been good.

High School needed to be a little more focused, although it did a good job teaching math and science. But watching Nova on PBS could be pretty good too.

I think it would have been good for me to travel, volunteer, and backpack around the world for a year as well. But that might be a bit much to expect.

Dixy

This is my children's curriculum: www.cie.org.uk

and this is the curriculum provider: www.bidc.co.za

LordEden

During my time at community college I met two people who were homeschooled (there were more but I never hung out with them). One was a guy I worked with and hung out a bit after classes/work. He was a cool dude and got more girls than I could, so social skills was never a problem with him. His parents put him in school, but when he getting in trouble for being bored all the time, they pulled him out and started schooling him at home. Second was a girl (that I kinda liked), she was a bit weird but no weirder than I am. Don't know much else about her as she turned me down for a date and I didn't go out of my way to get to know her after that.

I think homeschooling is a great idea as long as they have interaction with other students (the girl did tell they had a home school prom that she went too) because most public school suck to go to and have horrible teaching practices. Safety is also a big thing as the rise of gangs (or groups of stupid kids) in schools is actually a concern for some parents/students. I would have to think long and hard about home schooling my kid, but if I had the time to devote to doing that, I would go that route.

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koli70

I was home schooled for a short time when my parents moved from an urban area to the boonies. It was more for social reasons, I had nothing in common with the 30 kids in my grade and I couldn't make friends and I hated it there. After two years of being home schooled we moved to a bigger area and I started going to public school again but since I wasn't used to socializing anymore I dropped out and got my GED instead. Now I'm in college and I still suck at being social but I get As in most of my classes so it's ok.

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skizziks

I have freinds who homeschool. I think it's excellent when it comes to actually learning stuff. The only drawback I've seen in homeschooled kids is, due to the lack of interaction with other kids from varoius backgrounds (meaning not brother/sister) the kids miss out on some group interaction skills. Good or bad, there is something important in dealing with others in the lunchroom, in the gym lockers, being part of a group and learning group dynamics, having the shared background and shared experiences of doing crap kids in school do. Also there is the networking factor. Kids go to school together, then go on to various jobs but stay in touch and all that. But that is just what i´ve seen.

grumpyolddude

I'd like you all to spend some time with my three home schooled children and hold on to beliefs like this. My kids have more friends, more culturally diverse, more goal oriented and self aware, and more totally devoted to each other as friends than any group I've ever seen. And they acquire new, quality friendships everywhere they go, from bowling alleys to church meetings.

The lack of socialization is the biggest misconception, and flat out lie, of the opponents of home schooling. Next comes the belief that all home schoolers are wild-eyed bible thumpers... I definitely don't qualify!

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ShaniFaye

One day, after more and more people have seen government education like we have, people are going to stop stigmatizing our children like this

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Xerxys

This is probably the wrong place to ask but has any one of you guys ever thought about raising your kids abroad?? I mean sure you might have been disappointed by the current status but for those of you who do not live in the USA, what do you think about the educational system in your area?? I am biased to go on my own country first but I would like to hear some opinions.

Dixy

Yes, I am biased but I think little of the South African 'government' school system. I think our minister of education agrees with me as her children are in a 'private' school.

But I also believe that, regardless of the government schooling status/standard, home schooling is the superior route to take for the child. This is the way nature intended it.

The child needs to learn to socialize with all ages, something formal schools suppresses. Most home school children, I met, will socialize with the elderly, the toddler etc. with the same ease as with their own age.

The home schooled kids I know, have a thirst for knowledge, something schools manage to suppress efficiently as soon as possible. The set curriculum leaves very little room or time for diversions.

MSD

This comment reminded me of this 20/20 special, which I think everyone should watch, especially if they plan to have kids or already do.