ASU2003

Comic teaches sex education for children of six | The Sun |Woman|Health|Health
http://www.newshounds.us/2007/07/20/...exed_fiend.php

It's taken me a while to get around to this. Fox News a few weeks ago had a few stories about Obama wanting to teach six year olds about sex. Now, I'll be the first to say I know nothing about kids. I know I didn't know what a vagina was at age 6 or what was behind a girls swimsuit, and I didn't really care. And really, I didn't know anything about my body either. I think I was about 10-11 before I did some covert library research in encyclopedias, STD books, human biology book and a child sex abuse book to actually find out the truth. It was a few years before the internet and computers were in everyone's homes, and I knew that this was something that probably could have been discussed, but it was much better for me not to bring it up.

So, my question to the parents is, when do you think the best time to teach kids about the difference between girls and boys is? Do you think age six would be too young to teach them about this? There was a bunch of talk that Obama wants to teach your kids about sex on the news. Would you rather tell them, have the school system teach them, or have them find out on their own? What damage would be done if they learn this stuff at a younger age? Do you think they will try things they should wait until they are older to do?

What age do you think would be the best to bring up relationships, sex and puberty? I went to a night presentation with the other boys in my class in the sixth grade to talk about the basics that I had already looked up. It was eighth grade (age 14) before I had a basic sex, pregnancy and STD class. That was around the right time for me. It was a year before I saw porn and I actually figured out the movements and how the parts interacted. I would think kids a few years younger are getting their hands on porn now (I wanted to see it at around age 12/13, but didn't have a home computer until I was 15)

Do parents not want to think about their kids as being sexual humans? Would guys feel creepy teaching a young boy or girl about her body? Is it the opposite when growing up, that kids didn't want to think that their parents ever had sex? What reasons do you have for not talking to kids about sex?

Aladdin Sane

I have a 14 year old son and a 10 year old daughter.
I think the problem arises when the topic of sex is avoided until children reach a certain age. Then comes the awkward moment of the big talk with your 12 year old. The problem with that approach is twofold. One, your 12 year old has already obtained lots of (mis)information about sex and you've been absent when she needed to ask questions and get straight answers. Two, treating sex as a special topic makes it forbidden and/or mysterious. Sexuality is something that we have taught by making it part of life. It is not a topic that is set aside and only discussed at a certain point. When a teaching moment presents itself, I jump in and make the best of it. My wife and I are very open about it. It's the same with nudity. It's part of life. So my children have known about sex their whole lives.

I do not view sex as a subject to be taught to my children by strangers. It is my job and my job alone.

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Falconclaw240

Well i'm not a parent so my view is most likely not what you where looking for, but I have the annoying humanly characteristic of giving it anyway

First off when I hear the news talking widely about six year old's being informed about sex, Of course i'm inherently agast
But then, I have to imagine that no sane politition would make that suggestion exactly
and thus suspect the quotage

So Would it be safe to assume that the system taught to these 1st graders would be far less dynamically informed than 8th grade sex ed classes?

My own mother never really set a date for informing me directly of sex, she waited and encouraged questions, and i never had a problem asking them
I myself knew about Sex and its leading to babies in first grade, though not the intricate details to be sure
As i grew older, and my mind wandered on the subject, mom made sure i wasn't victim to any misconeptions
I really think, but i'll admit my maternal bias, that her system was the best.
Unlike girls around me, i never wondered about anything scientifically related to the body, i knew exactly what my period was (and good thing to, a dramatic thing to happen at 9) I knew exactly what the older kids hinted at on the bus, and its helped me to this day.
I don't feel shy or bashful about the subject, and I don't fall prey to many misconceptions
Mom also used that time to instil warnings on the subject. by telling me the scientific risks of sex, not fearmongering me with sins against my soul, or telling me she found me in a cabbage patch, It has been more effective than any logic i've heard from abstinence only plans. She always instructed me to be safe, and tell her so i could get medicle testing and because of that

I haven't done it at all

I dont' feel any social pressure to either, whats that going to prove to anyone?

When I'm ready , i'll be ready,
Till then I'll be glad my mom had the courage to tell me soon as I asked what was up.
leaving it off to school teachers to teach the children, with stories of cranes delievering babies seems very much like lying to me
by all means, it is the parents place to tell the kids about sex, and instruct them how to handle it
there is no age too early for knowlege

And yes, i'm sure Mom felt uncomfortable alot, but then
raising kids is filled with uncomfortable moments
Everyone likes to picture 6 year olds as innocent little angels (and for the most part there isn't tangible evidence to teh contrary)
but one has to man up and tell them eventually, why not do so before htey've developed misconceptions?
six might be a little younge, I think it should be up to the parent to judge when the child is mentally developed enough to broach the subject.

Willravel

There doesn't have to be anything "un-innocent" about sex. We associate it with adulthood, but I associate taxes with adulthood and I take no issue with a 6 year old learning math. 2 + 2 = 4 and guess what you've got a vagina. As long as it's honest, it's not bad. I won't teach shame of sex to my children. I'll teach them respect and responsibility, but not shame.

Shame is what you should feel if you've done something wrong. Having sex organs and understanding procreation isn't wrong.

Charlatan

When I was in grade one (that's age six) I was talking about sex with my friends in the school yard. The thing is, we had it all wrong. The misinformation was comical.

I have never held back from talking to my son about sex and was talking to him about it (in varying degrees) since he was around six. When he asked where babies came from we told him the truth.

The sooner he knows about it the better.

I will likely start to talk to my daughter about it before too long as she is just about to turn six. We will just see where she's at and go from there.

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Catdaddy33

I agree the earlier the better, I recall talking about sex to friends when I was in 3rd or 4th grade, my folks gave me a book when I was 14 or 15 and told me if I had any questions to ask them and of course I didn't have any questions, and I thought I knew all I needed thanks to dirty magazines and my friends.

I have a soon to be 15 year old girl, and my wife had several discussions with her starting in the 4th grade and had the last one this year before she started 9th grade. As a result she seems to be open and candid about questions and all we can hope is she will make the right choices, she has even asked me about sex and I answer honestly and without embarrassment.

skizziks

I can only speak for what we did. When we thought it was time (there is not right age, it depends on the kid's maturity and the relationship you have as a parent with that kid) we sat our kid down and talked to her about sex, just a little at first. As she got older and things came up, we talked more. We didn't dump the whole monty on her at once, we gradually introduced it, and as she got older, we explained more. We knew she started being active in highschool (we read her diary and learned she gave her boyfriend a blowjob) and that is when we sat her down and really really talked to her about it. We still talked to her about sex after that.

Today she is a well adjusted and informed young lady, who i believe turned out ok. I think what we did worked.

vanblah

The discussions about sex should be taking place gradually as your child ages and begins to question it. Age appropriate answers are the key to it. If you are honest about it the child will continue to ask you questions; and at some point he or she will ask a question that will indicate that it's time for a larger discussion.

For instance at 5-years-old my daughter asked, "Where do babies come from?" The answer we gave her has placated her for two years now: babies come from mothers. She didn't ask "why" or "how"; and quite frankly if we had gone much further than that she would have been confused. She is only just now beginning to ask leading questions about "how." She's still not sure about the "why" and to her the concept of kissing a boy is gross (although it certainly is not a pre-requisite that a male and female actually kiss for pregnancy to occur; but that is a discussion for much later).

She has been aware of the "difference" between boys and girls for a long time. She's even aware of a double-standard at school. Girls in skirts are not allowed on the slide, the jungle-gym and any other piece of playground equipment that might expose underwear. I find this appalling; but I understand it. From my point of view skirts are impractical anyway (although I think they are comfortable).

With regard to teaching sex education in first-grade ... I agree with one big caveat: as long as it is in context. Children are exposed to sexual imagery almost everywhere. My daughter loves Hannah Montana (please don't judge me). The Hannah Montana show is GEARED for kids her age ... and yet the characters are constantly spouting innuendo after innuendo; even some of the plot is about relationships that a 7-year-old has a hard time understanding. Although it's fairly benign (otherwise we wouldn't let her watch it) she still has questions about it: "Why is Hannah Montana so upset about that boy?" There is no option but to teach our kids about sex and relationships at a younger age.

We teach our daughters (and some people may teach their sons; although probably not as much) that if a person touches their "private area" to tell an adult. We don't say "why", and if they ask we tell them it is wrong for an adult to touch a child in such a way. We are already setting up a sort of mysterious aura about sexuality and the part of the body responsible for it. So, rather than make it traumatic we should really be explaining it as much as is appropriate.

Do I not like to think of my daughter as a sexual being? Well, it certainly is not something I really think about ... but she is. I've already witnessed her touching herself a couple of years ago. I apologized and walked out of her room. Talk about uncomfortable. We have since had a talk about when it is appropriate and hopefully she understands. I haven't witnessed her doing it on the couch anymore.

Do I think she'll "try stuff" at an earlier age if we talk about it? Studies show the EXACT opposite. The more a child knows the more likely they are to wait.

So, really, only you can determine what is appropriate for your child. There are no strict rules for child-rearing. Anyone who says, "I will teach my child this at 10, and this at 12, and this at 14" is deluding themselves. They may need education earlier or later depending on the child's ability to understand. If you talk about sex at too early of an age the child will be confused ... if it's too late ... well, at best it may not be "too late" or you may end up having to re-teach bad education and at worst you'll have to deal with pregnancy, STD, traumatic experiences etc.

Amaras

My situation is that there is an eight year old boy in the house as well as my nine month old daughter.
My position on this is that there should NEVER be shame attached to our body. What we are born with is what we have.
I am culturally different from the other adults in the house in that are a little more reticent about sex, nudity, etc...
But they are thankful about my approach.
Example: I thought I was alone in the house when I got out of the shower one day, so I stepped out the bathroom
nude. I sensed the little boy was watching (he has not been around adult men) so I gently said "Josh, now you
have seen me naked, please let me alone for just a little bit, okay?" He had been hiding behind something.
Got dressed, then asked if he had any questions, concerns, whatever.
He asked me if what he did was wrong. I said "What, spying on me? Yes, I didn't appreciate that."
Then "Seeing me naked? No big deal."
Since then, we seem to communicate in a real open manner. When he has tough questions, I make sure to tell
his Mom exactly what I said. I keep it somewhat clinical and direct. In other words, answer their question,
don't pussyfoot around.
For my daughter, I expect to be open. No, I'm not going to walk around naked. But living with people you
will see them in all sorts of situations.
Sex and our bodies are natural.

It's worshiping the gun in some houses, or the Almighty $ I don't get.
I must have an IPOD, a BMW, etc... to be okay? What the Hell is that?


By the by, from the start I advocate telling the child that NO ONE has a right to touch
their "private area". Or to bully them, for that matter.
Tell us right away.
I think there is a link between not talking to your child about sex/their bodies, or being
ashamed, and they being unwilling to come to you if something horrible has happened.

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