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Old 06-21-2008, 05:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Borrowing a car

Hi guys,

Wanted to get some advice/opinions on a situation that arose this week.

I went away for a week on business, and my roomate asked to borrow my car when I was gone. I didn't have a problem with this, as long as he paid for any gas that he used up (Damn $1.47/L in Halifax).

Now my car is not the greatest or newest, however it is in good shape with not many kilometers. (1996 Honda Civic). Regardless, when I came back he:

A) Took the car on a road trip out of province without saying anything (found out from another roomate)

B) Car came back with battery shot to shit - would not charge, car would not start. Had to buy a new one today which was 70 dollars.

My beef with this, is that he did not offer to pay even a portion for the cost of a new battery. I realize that the battery may have died even if I did not go away and was driving the car, but i consider it common courtesy.

My question to you all is this: If you borrow someone's car and it something breaks, who is responsible? What is the etiquette?
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Old 06-21-2008, 07:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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You use it you help pay. Something like a battery its just good manners to offer to help buy it, using it for a long trip without prior consent(asking to use it may have given permission by his thinking) is not ok. Learn from this and next time (if it happens) maybe spell out your idea of useage and fair renumeration
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Old 06-21-2008, 08:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Don't lend him the car again, but technically he's off the hook.
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Old 06-21-2008, 08:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
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One borrowing can't kill a battery. Off the hook for that. Did you specify he had to stay within certain boundaries? If he paid his gas I don't see any problems.
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Old 06-21-2008, 08:15 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twistedmosaic
One borrowing can't kill a battery. Off the hook for that. Did you specify he had to stay within certain boundaries? If he paid his gas I don't see any problems.
really?

If I sit in the car and play the stereo or leave the lights on when parked, it sure can affect the battery.

I was always taught to leave things better than you got them. I'd be offering some money for the battery. Not just because I'd feel responsible, but also because I'd like to use the car again in the future and I'd like you to be agreeable to me using it.

As far as the driving out of province, that's also a consideration since well, if I ask to drive your car for the evening it has an assume limit to it. But a road trip? That's a whole different ball game...
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Old 06-21-2008, 11:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Make him pay a portion, and never let him use the car again. Cynth is right in my opinion, one usage can kill it. Also, "using the car" and "road trip" are clearly different things. He probably knew that had he told you his destination/intention, you would have objected.
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Old 06-22-2008, 06:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks for the responses. I'm not really the type of guy to go up to someone and ask for money. Its just not my style. If he isn't going to offer to pay, then thats fine, however like some of you said - no more car.

I feel like I just want him to offer to help pay, I probably wouldn't even take the money. Its not about money. Its about common courtesy. When I got home all he said was - your car is dead. No apology, nothing. It just irks me a bit.
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:02 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hain
Make him pay a portion, and never let him use the car again. Cynth is right in my opinion, one usage can kill it. Also, "using the car" and "road trip" are clearly different things. He probably knew that had he told you his destination/intention, you would have objected.
Letting the battery run down one time shouldn't kill it. We had a new car several years ago and one of the doors didn't close as easy as you would have thought. As a consequence, the headlights stayed on in the garage waiting for the door to be closed. I had to jump her car 3-4 tme over the course of a year. The battery recharged after driving and was fine. It lasted another three years until we traded the car.

If the battery ws fairly old using it up might be the thing that pushed it over the edge. However, from the OP, there was no info on the age of the battery. It sounded like the big issue was the trip out of the province and the battery issue is a red herring?

I can see paying for something he broke but not for something that wears out over time. If the starter went out you wouldn't expect someone to pay for that. And if there weren't any guidelines on driving where, how long, that sort of thing, you're kind of out there when complaining about distance.

I for one wouldn't let someone borrow something expensive like a car. Too many things can happen.
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:45 AM   #9 (permalink)
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from experience (and working at a mechanic´s for a while) letting the battery run down is bad for the battery. he may have left lights on and had to jump the car. i agree with the overall concensus: he´s off the hook since you weren´t too specific but obviously you shouldn´t be loaning him the car again. if he asks why perhaps tell him honestly.
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Old 06-22-2008, 01:32 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lotsofmagnets
from experience (and working at a mechanic´s for a while) letting the battery run down is bad for the battery. he may have left lights on and had to jump the car. i agree with the overall concensus: he´s off the hook since you weren´t too specific but obviously you shouldn´t be loaning him the car again. if he asks why perhaps tell him honestly.
Sure it's bad for the battery over time but not just once. I've been driving well for over 35 years, back when batteries were crap. Once won't kill it - even twice or even thrice. Anyone telling you otherwise is probably trying to sell you a battery!
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thingstodo
Sure it's bad for the battery over time but not just once. I've been driving well for over 35 years, back when batteries were crap. Once won't kill it - even twice or even thrice. Anyone telling you otherwise is probably trying to sell you a battery!
I agree with that. If he let it run down, that may have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but if that was enough to kill it so badly that it wouldn't take a charge again, it was on the way out anyways.
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Old 06-22-2008, 05:01 PM   #12 (permalink)
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iæve seen my fair share of new batteries go bad as well as used.
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lotsofmagnets
iæve seen my fair share of new batteries go bad as well as used.
Some new batteries are crap, because of poor manufacturing or because it managed to slip past quality control. Either way, if draining the battery killed it, it was already bad.
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:12 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by REDL|NE
My beef with this, is that he did not offer to pay even a portion for the cost of a new battery. I realize that the battery may have died even if I did not go away and was driving the car, but i consider it common courtesy.

My question to you all is this: If you borrow someone's car and it something breaks, who is responsible? What is the etiquette?
Without any additional information about what your roommate did to your car or how he drove it, it sounds like it was just normal battery wear and tear and it just happened to fail when your roommate borrowed it. Did he elaborate on when exactly the battery failed? When's the last time the battery was replaced?

My snap judgment is that your roommate doesn't owe you anything monetary. As far as I can tell, he didn't do anything to directly cause the battery to fail.

I can understand why you'd be reluctant on loaning him the car in the future, but I don't think he's clearly in the wrong here.
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Old 06-23-2008, 12:19 PM   #15 (permalink)
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the way i see it he was banging some chick in the back seat of the car while playing the radio. thats what killed the battery.

id get the car cleaned as soon as possible

did it smell like sex when you got it back?
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Old 06-23-2008, 12:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by REDL|NE
Thanks for the responses. I'm not really the type of guy to go up to someone and ask for money. Its just not my style. If he isn't going to offer to pay, then thats fine, however like some of you said - no more car.

I feel like I just want him to offer to help pay, I probably wouldn't even take the money. Its not about money. Its about common courtesy. When I got home all he said was - your car is dead. No apology, nothing. It just irks me a bit.
if you're not the type to ask for money.. then .. well you shouldn't be in the business of lending things.

He has no responsibility to pay you for the battery.. and.. all you told him was to pay for the gas he used.. well he paid for the gas he used on his road trip.. so.. yeah.. he's not really at fault. If anything, spell out exactly what you want done with the car if you lend it again.
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Old 06-23-2008, 12:30 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Your room mate is an ass. It was up to him to clarify if he planned to do anything unusual with your car that you might object to. This isn't court. As a friend he should have specified. Who cares if you are legally right or technically right. He took advantage of you.

As for the battery...well, it depends on the type of freind he is. But i guess that's pretty obvious.
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:46 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guccilvr
if you're not the type to ask for money.. then .. well you shouldn't be in the business of lending things.

He has no responsibility to pay you for the battery.. and.. all you told him was to pay for the gas he used.. well he paid for the gas he used on his road trip.. so.. yeah.. he's not really at fault. If anything, spell out exactly what you want done with the car if you lend it again.

Im not in the business of lending things. I did a favor for a roomate because he is my roomate. I had no reason up until this point to not lend him the car. I think it was a goodwill gesture. Granted now I regret the decision but that is life. Live and learn.

I keep putting myself in my roomates shoes, and if it was me, I would feel guilty and responsible to help pay towards any damage that the car took while it was under my control. This is why I am frustrated at this situation because he obviously feels much differently than I do. Regardless if it was a battery, a cracked bumper, or whatever, it doesn't matter imho. Sure it may not have been his fault, but if you borrow something do you not accept responsibility for that item? Thoughts? If you borrowed a lawn mower and the thing crapped out, would you feel obligated to replace or repair the mower?
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Last edited by REDL|NE; 06-23-2008 at 02:50 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:59 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I agree that there is likely little he could have done to roach the battery just by taking a road trip.

I rarely loan my vehicles and then it is only to someone I would assume would return the favor and will take responsibilty if something goes wrong and it theor fault.

Long ago someone told me "Never trust your car or your girl to another man. Either one he will try to throw a rod in".
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Old 06-23-2008, 03:17 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psycho Dad
Long ago someone told me "Never trust your car or your girl to another man. Either one he will try to throw a rod in".
I am adding that to my "motorsports and women" sage advice file to keep company with "If it floats, flies, or fucks, it's cheaper to rent"
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Old 06-23-2008, 04:22 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlish
the way i see it he was banging some chick in the back seat of the car while playing the radio. thats what killed the battery.

id get the car cleaned as soon as possible

did it smell like sex when you got it back?
Now THAT was fun-ny!!
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Old 06-24-2008, 06:23 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by REDL|NE
Im not in the business of lending things. I did a favor for a roomate because he is my roomate. I had no reason up until this point to not lend him the car. I think it was a goodwill gesture. Granted now I regret the decision but that is life. Live and learn.

I keep putting myself in my roomates shoes, and if it was me, I would feel guilty and responsible to help pay towards any damage that the car took while it was under my control. This is why I am frustrated at this situation because he obviously feels much differently than I do. Regardless if it was a battery, a cracked bumper, or whatever, it doesn't matter imho. Sure it may not have been his fault, but if you borrow something do you not accept responsibility for that item? Thoughts? If you borrowed a lawn mower and the thing crapped out, would you feel obligated to replace or repair the mower?

well, no I wouldn't feel obligated to replace or repair anything unless I caused the problem. when a person borrows something they borrow it in the condition it is in. Granted, when he took it, it had a working battery.. but there's no way to know if the battery would have died on you the same way. Unless he did something really stupid, then he's not obligated to do anything.

I understand and see where you're coming from.. but it's kind of pointless to keep going on about it. He didn't offer to pay for it.. so now you know how he is.. don't lend anything out to him again.
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Old 06-24-2008, 07:50 AM   #23 (permalink)
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A few adages spring to mind:
  • Never a lender nor a borrower be.
  • There are two things a man should never lend out: his woman, and his car.
I, like someone else mentioned, am a firm believer in bringing something back better than when you borrowed it. It used to be etiquette (waaay back in the day) to return someone's car with a full tank of fuel after borrowing it.

Like the OP, I'm not the type to go asking someone for money - if they don't feel compelled by their morals/conscience to help pay for the battery, then I don't want their money anyways. I guess I'm proud like that.

So don't borrow him anything again. And if you're lending something to someone again, be sure to stipulate the boundaries or rules. they might think you're full of shit, but at the end of the day, it's your things.
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Old 06-25-2008, 05:50 PM   #24 (permalink)
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heh, i lent my housemate my car when i went back to au for a few weeks and when i got back the car didn´t even have enough petrol to do the drive from keflavík to reykjavík, the handbrake was broken and the windscreen wiper motor made a grinding sound. i always had an excuse each time he asked to borrow my car after that....
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Old 06-25-2008, 09:03 PM   #25 (permalink)
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It occurs to me that I didn't post my own story on this: I lent my friend my van with the caveat that the transmission was probably on its way out (being a fine Chrysler product-plus 4th gear was starting to be iffy). With the trans working, I could have sold it for $600.

He drove it for two weeks, and bam, tranny went out. He admitted to racing a couple people (which I thought was awesome/hilarious) which probably didn't help the life of the tranny any.

Basically, it blew completely out, so I sold the van as scrap for $300. He was a good friend, it was a component that was going to fail anyways, so I didn't even think of hitting him up for the difference.
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:04 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Last edited by pocon1; 07-06-2008 at 11:17 AM..
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:12 PM   #27 (permalink)
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I've always wanted to borrow a car, especially from my step father, and bring it back after having a mechanic remove the doors. Pull in and toss him the keys with a very nonchalant "thanks bud" and walk into the house.

It would be worth the price.
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Old 06-28-2008, 07:47 AM   #28 (permalink)
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If I borrowed a car for a week I'd wash and wax it by hand and return it with a full tank of gas. For longer than that I'd probably shampoo the carpets and change the oil (which I would also do myself.)

Returning a borrowed car with a dead battery and no gas just isn't cool.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lotsofmagnets
heh, i lent my housemate my car when i went back to au for a few weeks and when i got back the car didn´t even have enough petrol to do the drive from keflavík to reykjavík, the handbrake was broken and the windscreen wiper motor made a grinding sound. i always had an excuse each time he asked to borrow my car after that....
If your excuse was anything other than "Last time you borrowed it you returned it with no gas, broke the handbrake, and fucked up the windshield wipers," you're thinking too hard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21
I've always wanted to borrow a car, especially from my step father, and bring it back after having a mechanic remove the doors. Pull in and toss him the keys with a very nonchalant "thanks bud" and walk into the house.

It would be worth the price.
I've thought of something similar, but finding an identical wrecked car and borrowing it.
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