Dumbest things you've heard people say - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Lasereth · 12-08-2007, 12:06 PM

I work in computers so I hear an incredible amount of stupid stuff. It happens so often everyday that I don't even notice it anymore.

Anyway here's a sample:

Coworker calls tech services about a computer problem. She says her cursor turned into a cross when she opened up MS Excel. We were like uhh what do you mean, a cross? "A white cross!! It turned into a white cross when I opened Excel." The women has been using Excel for 10 years.

Hain · 12-08-2007, 12:40 PM

Wow...

"Benjamin Franklin invented electricity."
"Benjamin Franklin, didn't he invent rolly chairs?"
"Is the Presidential cabinet named after kitchen cabinets?"

... Heavy boots... blew my mind.

My physics professor once sat in at a university lecture where the speaker made a comment that the centrifugal forces helped gravity keep us on the Earth... If that were true we couldn't ride roller coasters.

This one on the boards also blew my mind: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=128419

Quote:

A man was sentenced to more than four years in prison for bilking friends and family out of more than $800,000 by convincing them that his wife was a government agent who could arrange to have their medical problems diagnosed by satellite imaging.

Brent Eric Finley, 38, of Rayville, was sentenced in federal court in Monroe to serve 51 months in prison followed by three years of supervised release. His wife, Stacey Finley, was sentenced in August to spend 63 months in prison and both are ordered to jointly pay restitution in the amount of $873,786.94.

The Finleys pleaded guilty in August to wire fraud, according to court records.

U.S. Attorney Donald W. Washington said in a news release following Monday's sentencing of Brent Finley that the couple convinced numerous people that Stacey Finley was a CIA agent and with her contacts she could schedule a medical scan of the victims' bodies by satellite imaging that would detect any hidden medical problems.

The Finley's convinced their victims that, if any medical problems were found, secret agents would administer medicine to them as they slept in exchange for payment, according to a bill of information filed when the Finleys were charged in May.

"These audacious criminals should remind all of us that scam artists will go to great lengths to take our life's savings," Washington said.

I can't take it some days.

ItWasMe · 12-10-2007, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tecoyah

Do You Work Here?

dressed in company uniform in a retail store

That still happens to me on occasion. LoL Love those DUH moments.

"Can I try these on?" A man asked me, while holding an armload of t-shirts at G.I. Joe's. (I have never worked at G.I. Joe's) I told him that was fine with me, but that he may need to find an employee to let him in to the fitting room.

one of my favorites...

"I see you in here alot. Do you come here often?"

jewels · 12-10-2007, 10:18 AM

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
- George W Bush

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
- George W Bush

Willravel · 12-10-2007, 10:20 AM

The other day I was watching The Soup on the E! channel, and they had a segment on how one of the hens on The View was convinced that Jesus predated the ancient Greeks. "Yeah, but Jesus came first."

Wow.

Hain · 12-10-2007, 12:24 PM

... /cough/ ... Wow Will... that blows away anything I hear...

Plan9 · 12-10-2007, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewels443

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
- George W Bush

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
- George W Bush

God, I can't stop crying...

Baraka_Guru · 12-10-2007, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

...one of the hens on The View was convinced that Jesus predated the ancient Greeks. "Yeah, but Jesus came first."

I'm guessing it's the same one who thinks the world is flat.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG: Is the world flat?

SHERRI SHEPHERD: Is the world flat? (laughter)

GOLDBERG: Yes.

SHEPHERD: …I Don’t know.

GOLDBERG: What do you think?

SHEPHERD: I… I never thought about it, Whoopi. Is the world flat? I never thought about it.

BARBARA WALTERS: You’ve never thought about whether the world was round or flat?

SHEPHERD: I tell you what I’ve thought about. How I’m going to feed my child–

WALTERS: Well you can do both.

SHEPERD: …how I’m going to take care of my family. The world, is the world flat has never entered into, like that has not been an important thing to me.

ELIZABETH HASSELBECK: You’ll teach your son, Jeffery, right?

SHEPHERD: If my son, Jeffery, asks me ‘is the world flat,’ I guess I would go…

JOY BEHAR: You know, didn’t some person already work this question out? I mean, why are we doing this again? (laughter, applause)

Ustwo · 12-10-2007, 08:24 PM

I feel stupider for just reading that. I think we have a winner.

Baraka_Guru · 12-10-2007, 08:32 PM

The video is even more painful.

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GbizzLzcpnM&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GbizzLzcpnM&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

Ustwo · 12-10-2007, 08:41 PM

I've never watched the show so I figured it would have been the blond skinny one.

Wow....

Note how uncomfortable the one in between whoopie and the idiot looks.

guy44 · 12-11-2007, 05:46 PM

It's not the stupidest thing I've ever heard (which would almost certainly have come out of my mouth), but the other day I was kidding with my roommate and told him that "when you assume, you make an ass out of you."

He looked me dead in the eye, and replied, "And me!"

OutCast · 12-16-2007, 07:10 AM

I've been around people that have been hurt in serious ways, and you always have someone come up to them and say "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?". That's got to be the dumbest question ever.

lktknow · 12-16-2007, 10:37 AM

I tended bar, in between meat-cutting for years. Usually at a neighborhood cocktail bar, with a lot of regulars, such as Cheers. You would not believe some of the utterances out of grown adults mouths. Plus the alcohol only adds to the comedy of it.
A guy from the south was a regular, and his description of various things were a riot at times.
Someone at the bar was showing some neat contraption they had recently purchased, and he said, "Well that's handier than a pocket on a shirt"
which it may be a common saying, but I had never heard it.

Another time we were all trying to remember the name of a person that had not been in for a while. We were describing who we meant, and he said:
"You know, the guy who has a lot of face to wash". we looked puzzled, until we remembered the guy was going bald from the front back.

It seemed as if daily, someone was saying something that gave us all pause to scratch our heads.
A girl at the bar was overheard to say: "How come they never ask for your fathers maiden name"

thebeat · 12-16-2007, 10:45 AM

My sister-in-law was in the car with us one night when we went out to dinner. I think it was a Saturday night and everywhere was packed, however, there happend to be a parking spot right in front, and my sister-in-law says, wow we're lucky!

My wife said..."we called ahead"

Sis in law said... "really?!!"

Baraka_Guru · 12-16-2007, 11:00 AM

“See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction.”

“I don’t know why you’re talking about Sweden. They’re the neutral one. They don’t have an army.”

"I'm the decider and I decide what's best."

Plan9 · 12-16-2007, 11:47 AM

Baraka:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

God, I can't stop crying...

Redlemon · 12-17-2007, 05:55 PM

This one's a two-parter, from my senior year of high school.

a: Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?
b: Really?
a: (pause for realization to set in)

'b' finally gets it, then tries to pull the trick on 'c'

b: Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?
c: Of course not, it's French.
b: Really?
c: (pause for realization to set in)

(I was innocent bystander 'd'.)

12-10-2007, 12:24 PM	#46 (permalink)
Hain has a plan Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere	... /cough/ ... Wow Will... that blows away anything I hear... __________________ ////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

12-10-2007, 08:24 PM	#49 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	I feel stupider for just reading that. I think we have a winner. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

12-10-2007, 08:32 PM	#50 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	The video is even more painful. <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GbizzLzcpnM&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GbizzLzcpnM&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object> __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot Last edited by Baraka_Guru; 12-10-2007 at 08:35 PM..

12-10-2007, 08:41 PM	#51 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	I've never watched the show so I figured it would have been the blond skinny one. Wow.... Note how uncomfortable the one in between whoopie and the idiot looks. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps. Last edited by Ustwo; 12-10-2007 at 08:56 PM..

12-11-2007, 05:46 PM	#52 (permalink)
guy44 Somnabulist Location: corner of No and Where	It's not the stupidest thing I've ever heard (which would almost certainly have come out of my mouth), but the other day I was kidding with my roommate and told him that "when you assume, you make an ass out of you." He looked me dead in the eye, and replied, "And me!" __________________ "You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats press one, or say 'goats.'"

12-08-2007, 12:06 PM	#41 (permalink)
Lasereth Knight of the Old Republic Location: Winston-Salem, NC	I work in computers so I hear an incredible amount of stupid stuff. It happens so often everyday that I don't even notice it anymore. Anyway here's a sample: Coworker calls tech services about a computer problem. She says her cursor turned into a cross when she opened up MS Excel. We were like uhh what do you mean, a cross? "A white cross!! It turned into a white cross when I opened Excel." The women has been using Excel for 10 years.

12-10-2007, 10:18 AM	#44 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George W Bush "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." - George W Bush

12-10-2007, 10:20 AM	#45 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	The other day I was watching The Soup on the E! channel, and they had a segment on how one of the hens on The View was convinced that Jesus predated the ancient Greeks. "Yeah, but Jesus came first." Wow.

12-16-2007, 07:10 AM	#53 (permalink)
OutCast Upright	I've been around people that have been hurt in serious ways, and you always have someone come up to them and say "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?". That's got to be the dumbest question ever.

12-16-2007, 10:37 AM	#54 (permalink)
lktknow Insane Location: here&there	I tended bar, in between meat-cutting for years. Usually at a neighborhood cocktail bar, with a lot of regulars, such as Cheers. You would not believe some of the utterances out of grown adults mouths. Plus the alcohol only adds to the comedy of it. A guy from the south was a regular, and his description of various things were a riot at times. Someone at the bar was showing some neat contraption they had recently purchased, and he said, "Well that's handier than a pocket on a shirt" which it may be a common saying, but I had never heard it. Another time we were all trying to remember the name of a person that had not been in for a while. We were describing who we meant, and he said: "You know, the guy who has a lot of face to wash". we looked puzzled, until we remembered the guy was going bald from the front back. It seemed as if daily, someone was saying something that gave us all pause to scratch our heads. A girl at the bar was overheard to say: "How come they never ask for your fathers maiden name" __________________ Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. ~

12-16-2007, 10:45 AM	#55 (permalink)
thebeat Insane Location: Deep South	My sister-in-law was in the car with us one night when we went out to dinner. I think it was a Saturday night and everywhere was packed, however, there happend to be a parking spot right in front, and my sister-in-law says, wow we're lucky! My wife said..."we called ahead" Sis in law said... "really?!!" __________________ random

12-16-2007, 11:00 AM	#56 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	“See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction.” “I don’t know why you’re talking about Sweden. They’re the neutral one. They don’t have an army.” "I'm the decider and I decide what's best." __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

12-17-2007, 05:55 PM	#58 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	This one's a two-parter, from my senior year of high school. a: Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary? b: Really? a: (pause for realization to set in) 'b' finally gets it, then tries to pull the trick on 'c' b: Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary? c: Of course not, it's French. b: Really? c: (pause for realization to set in) (I was innocent bystander 'd'.) __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.