12-08-2007, 12:06 PM | #41 (permalink) |
Knight of the Old Republic
Location: Winston-Salem, NC
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I work in computers so I hear an incredible amount of stupid stuff. It happens so often everyday that I don't even notice it anymore.
Anyway here's a sample: Coworker calls tech services about a computer problem. She says her cursor turned into a cross when she opened up MS Excel. We were like uhh what do you mean, a cross? "A white cross!! It turned into a white cross when I opened Excel." The women has been using Excel for 10 years. |
12-08-2007, 12:40 PM | #42 (permalink) | |
has a plan
Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere
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Wow...
"Benjamin Franklin invented electricity." "Benjamin Franklin, didn't he invent rolly chairs?" "Is the Presidential cabinet named after kitchen cabinets?" ... Heavy boots... blew my mind. My physics professor once sat in at a university lecture where the speaker made a comment that the centrifugal forces helped gravity keep us on the Earth... If that were true we couldn't ride roller coasters. This one on the boards also blew my mind: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=128419 Quote:
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12-10-2007, 09:29 AM | #43 (permalink) | |
But You'll Never Prove It.
Location: under your bed
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Quote:
"Can I try these on?" A man asked me, while holding an armload of t-shirts at G.I. Joe's. (I have never worked at G.I. Joe's) I told him that was fine with me, but that he may need to find an employee to let him in to the fitting room. one of my favorites... "I see you in here alot. Do you come here often?"
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe |
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12-10-2007, 10:18 AM | #44 (permalink) |
Eponymous
Location: Central Central Florida
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"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
- George W Bush "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." - George W Bush |
12-10-2007, 12:32 PM | #47 (permalink) | |
I Confess a Shiver
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Quote:
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12-10-2007, 08:22 PM | #48 (permalink) | |
warrior bodhisattva
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
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Quote:
WHOOPI GOLDBERG: Is the world flat?
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot |
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12-10-2007, 08:24 PM | #49 (permalink) |
Pissing in the cornflakes
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I feel stupider for just reading that. I think we have a winner.
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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps. |
12-10-2007, 08:32 PM | #50 (permalink) |
warrior bodhisattva
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
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The video is even more painful.
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GbizzLzcpnM&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GbizzLzcpnM&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot Last edited by Baraka_Guru; 12-10-2007 at 08:35 PM.. |
12-10-2007, 08:41 PM | #51 (permalink) |
Pissing in the cornflakes
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I've never watched the show so I figured it would have been the blond skinny one.
Wow.... Note how uncomfortable the one in between whoopie and the idiot looks.
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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps. Last edited by Ustwo; 12-10-2007 at 08:56 PM.. |
12-11-2007, 05:46 PM | #52 (permalink) |
Somnabulist
Location: corner of No and Where
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It's not the stupidest thing I've ever heard (which would almost certainly have come out of my mouth), but the other day I was kidding with my roommate and told him that "when you assume, you make an ass out of you."
He looked me dead in the eye, and replied, "And me!"
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"You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats press one, or say 'goats.'" |
12-16-2007, 10:37 AM | #54 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: here&there
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I tended bar, in between meat-cutting for years. Usually at a neighborhood cocktail bar, with a lot of regulars, such as Cheers. You would not believe some of the utterances out of grown adults mouths. Plus the alcohol only adds to the comedy of it.
A guy from the south was a regular, and his description of various things were a riot at times. Someone at the bar was showing some neat contraption they had recently purchased, and he said, "Well that's handier than a pocket on a shirt" which it may be a common saying, but I had never heard it. Another time we were all trying to remember the name of a person that had not been in for a while. We were describing who we meant, and he said: "You know, the guy who has a lot of face to wash". we looked puzzled, until we remembered the guy was going bald from the front back. It seemed as if daily, someone was saying something that gave us all pause to scratch our heads. A girl at the bar was overheard to say: "How come they never ask for your fathers maiden name"
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Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. ~ |
12-16-2007, 10:45 AM | #55 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Deep South
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My sister-in-law was in the car with us one night when we went out to dinner. I think it was a Saturday night and everywhere was packed, however, there happend to be a parking spot right in front, and my sister-in-law says, wow we're lucky!
My wife said..."we called ahead" Sis in law said... "really?!!"
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random |
12-16-2007, 11:00 AM | #56 (permalink) |
warrior bodhisattva
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
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“See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction.”
“I don’t know why you’re talking about Sweden. They’re the neutral one. They don’t have an army.” "I'm the decider and I decide what's best."
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot |
12-17-2007, 05:55 PM | #58 (permalink) |
Devoted
Donor
Location: New England
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This one's a two-parter, from my senior year of high school.
a: Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary? b: Really? a: (pause for realization to set in) 'b' finally gets it, then tries to pull the trick on 'c' b: Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary? c: Of course not, it's French. b: Really? c: (pause for realization to set in) (I was innocent bystander 'd'.)
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I can't read your signature. Sorry. |
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dumbest, heard, people, things |
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