Funny or inspiring things a reletive always says - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Brewmaniac · 09-02-2007, 03:12 AM

My 89 year uncle is loosing his mind but every time I've seen over the past 15 years or so and occasionally all his life before that;

He says using his fingers the secrets to having a good day are,

First you have get up, then you have to learn something, you have to help someone, you have to have some fun,
if you don't have any fun, then don't get up!

He always has a huge smile after he says this it is something I will never forget!

What funny or inspiring thing does one of your relitives do?

Plan9 · 09-03-2007, 12:22 PM

When I was a kid, my father always used to pick me up and sit me on his knee when and say in his ultra-serious Yule Brenner voice:

"C'mere... Let's talk about your future, son... ... (awkward pause) ... YOU AIN'T GOT ONE!"

This was always followed by a subsequent tickle attack from the big goofy Daddy Monster.

ngdawg · 09-05-2007, 06:30 AM

I sat and thought about this and....

I got nothing. No words of wisdom, nothing that I could take with me as a life mantra...
Mom used to tell us, whenever we acted up, "Wait til you have kids. Then you'll see..." Well, I'm still waiting to 'see' and my kids are 15!

Meditrina · 09-05-2007, 06:48 AM

My mother in law told me you have to choose your battles. This has helped me with my kids, with my husband, and in general.

She has also told me that the dirt will be there later, tomorrow, the next day, and after I die, play with the kids now. That is what they will remember the most.

She has said so many inspiring things. Maybe I will add them here as I remember more.

Jinn · 09-05-2007, 07:13 AM

My dad always used to chastise me with the following after I started any sentence with "I wish .." (more money, done with school, etc..)

"Wish in one hand, shit in the other."

"See which one fills up faster."

It continues to help me see that wishing might give me something to aspire to, but it doesn't do shit (pun intended) to help it happen. Hard work and smart decisions get me there, not wishing it to happen.

Midnight · 09-05-2007, 10:27 AM

Every time my grandfather sees me, he says "Well waddaya know kid?". This almost always catches me off guard and I'll say something like "I dunno Papa." or "Not much Papa." and he looks disgusted and will say "Well waddaya get outta bed for? - Go learn something!"

It made me insane as a kid. I'd go running off to my grandmother's library and start yanking books off the shelves and furiously trying to find something interesting to memorize. It never failed tho - 5 minutes after I went running to him to say "Guess what I learned Papa....." he would ask me again. "Well waddaya know kid?" and i would repeat proudly what I had memorized, and he would say "You still thinking about that? Go learn something NEW!"

Made for interesting summers. I spent mine in my grandmother's library, my sister would only get asked what she knew once and would play outside all day to avoid Papa and that question. He still does it to me today, but I'm a little better prepared when he asks. lol

clavus · 09-05-2007, 01:59 PM

"You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary. It's between SHIT and SYPHILIS."

Good ol Dad. Always the compassionate one. He has a million of 'em. One of Dad's maxims that has proven true time and time again is as follows:

"Never trust a guy with a fish on his business card, unless he's a fisherman." (a reference to the Jesus fish)

spectre · 09-05-2007, 02:04 PM

My grandfather about being nice: "do something for someone once and you're a nice guy, do it twice and it's expected, don't do it the third time and you're a son of a bitch."

Toaster126 · 09-06-2007, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnight

Every time my grandfather sees me, he says "Well waddaya know kid?". This almost always catches me off guard and I'll say something like "I dunno Papa." or "Not much Papa." and he looks disgusted and will say "Well waddaya get outta bed for? - Go learn something!"

It made me insane as a kid. I'd go running off to my grandmother's library and start yanking books off the shelves and furiously trying to find something interesting to memorize. It never failed tho - 5 minutes after I went running to him to say "Guess what I learned Papa....." he would ask me again. "Well waddaya know kid?" and i would repeat proudly what I had memorized, and he would say "You still thinking about that? Go learn something NEW!"

Made for interesting summers. I spent mine in my grandmother's library, my sister would only get asked what she knew once and would play outside all day to avoid Papa and that question. He still does it to me today, but I'm a little better prepared when he asks. lol

That's cute. I want to be like that when I'm old.

Mith · 09-07-2007, 09:04 PM

My grandfather gave me tons of advice on cock fighting and prostitutes... I don't remember any of it luckily.

Martian · 09-08-2007, 03:27 AM

My mother's fond of saying "buy as little car as you need and as much house as you can afford." By which she means, of course, that one should sink one's money into the investment that is more likely to appreciate, rather than the one that is almost guaranteed to depreciate.

I drive a sports car (according to my insurance company, anyway) and I rent an apartment. So I'm not following her advice. That doesn't mean it isn't helpful, though.

Brewmaniac · 09-29-2007, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnight

Every time my grandfather sees me, he says "Well waddaya know kid?". This almost always catches me off guard and I'll say something like "I dunno Papa." or "Not much Papa." and he looks disgusted and will say "Well waddaya get outta bed for? - Go learn. something!"

It made me insane as a kid. I'd go running off to my grandmother's library and start yanking books off the shelves and furiously trying to find something interesting to memorize. It never failed tho - 5 minutes after I went running to him to say "Guess what I learned Papa....." he would ask me again. "Well waddaya know kid?" and i would repeat proudly what I had memorized, and he would say "You still thinking about that? Go learn something NEW!"

Made for interesting summers. I spent mine in my grandmother's library, my sister would only get asked what she knew once and would play outside all day to avoid Papa and that question. He still does it to me today, but I'm a little better prepared when he asks. lol

I totally for got about this thread and wish I had gotten back sooner.
You all have some interesting and funny or insightful family members.

Midnight, your grandfather gave you a great gift as a kid, we all need to keep learning every day even if it's trivial, never think you know enough, that leads to narrow mindedness!

Another thing my grandmother used to say,

"Be good and you'll be happy" and she would give a big smile and a chuckle!

We are having a family reunion next 4th of July and we are having tee shirts made up with that saying on it.

-

ottopilot · 10-01-2007, 02:15 PM

My father always said "cut the gab" if we were too loud, or "cut the grab" if we were getting too wild or rough. So of course as adults, we kids had to come up with all sorts of "cut the (what ever)" uses for those special occasions when Mom and Dad get out of line.

Mom and Dad are named Jim and Sherrill. We often heard, "shit Sherrill" and "damn it Jim"(Mom usually had a cigarette hanging off her lip) during times of disagreement or marital frustration. And (again) as adults (because we are so respectful), we kids try to use "shit Sherill" and "damn it Jim" as often as possible when recalling special family memories.

One time my dad got so pissed at me that he actually said "don't look at me in that tone of voice!" We both stopped, looked at each other and busted out laughing... then he chased me through the house.

LazyBoy · 10-01-2007, 02:23 PM

My grandfather is gone now, but he used to always have something bright to say, regardless of the fact that he was stuck walking with a cane, due to back problems.....He also always told me that I could go to college, or wind up like him....then he'd laugh and buy me ice cream

-Will

Titan_Uranus · 10-09-2007, 03:25 AM

Got an uncle who always says that if he does not get into heaven at least he's been to New Zealand.

Plan9 · 10-09-2007, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopilot

My father always said "cut the gab" if we were too loud, or "cut the grab" if we were getting too wild or rough. So of course as adults, we kids had to come up with all sorts of "cut the (what ever)" uses for those special occasions when Mom and Dad get out of line.

Mom and Dad are named Jim and Sherrill. We often heard, "shit Sherrill" and "damn it Jim"(Mom usually had a cigarette hanging off her lip) during times of disagreement or marital frustration. And (again) as adults (because we are so respectful), we kids try to use "shit Sherill" and "damn it Jim" as often as possible when recalling special family memories.

One time my dad got so pissed at me that he actually said "don't look at me in that tone of voice!" We both stopped, looked at each other and busted out laughing... then he chased me through the house.

I want your family. This is seriously the best family dynamic I've ever read.

09-02-2007, 03:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Funny or inspiring things a reletive always says My 89 year uncle is loosing his mind but every time I've seen over the past 15 years or so and occasionally all his life before that; He says using his fingers the secrets to having a good day are, First you have get up, then you have to learn something, you have to help someone, you have to have some fun, if you don't have any fun, *then don't get up!* He always has a huge smile after he says this it is something I will never forget! What funny or inspiring thing does one of your relitives do? __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

09-03-2007, 12:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	When I was a kid, my father always used to pick me up and sit me on his knee when and say in his ultra-serious Yule Brenner voice: "C'mere... Let's talk about your future, son... ... (awkward pause) ... YOU AIN'T GOT ONE!" This was always followed by a subsequent tickle attack from the big goofy Daddy Monster. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

09-05-2007, 06:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I sat and thought about this and.... I got nothing. No words of wisdom, nothing that I could take with me as a life mantra... Mom used to tell us, whenever we acted up, "Wait til you have kids. Then you'll see..." Well, I'm still waiting to 'see' and my kids are 15! __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

09-05-2007, 06:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	My mother in law told me you have to choose your battles. This has helped me with my kids, with my husband, and in general. She has also told me that the dirt will be there later, tomorrow, the next day, and after I die, play with the kids now. That is what they will remember the most. She has said so many inspiring things. Maybe I will add them here as I remember more. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

09-05-2007, 07:13 AM	#5 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	My dad always used to chastise me with the following after I started any sentence with "I wish .." (more money, done with school, etc..) "Wish in one hand, shit in the other." "See which one fills up faster." It continues to help me see that wishing might give me something to aspire to, but it doesn't do shit (pun intended) to help it happen. Hard work and smart decisions get me there, not wishing it to happen. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

09-05-2007, 10:27 AM	#6 (permalink)
Midnight Banned Location: Chicago's western burbs	Every time my grandfather sees me, he says "Well waddaya know kid?". This almost always catches me off guard and I'll say something like "I dunno Papa." or "Not much Papa." and he looks disgusted and will say "Well waddaya get outta bed for? - Go learn something!" It made me insane as a kid. I'd go running off to my grandmother's library and start yanking books off the shelves and furiously trying to find something interesting to memorize. It never failed tho - 5 minutes after I went running to him to say "Guess what I learned Papa....." he would ask me again. "Well waddaya know kid?" and i would repeat proudly what I had memorized, and he would say "You still thinking about that? Go learn something NEW!" Made for interesting summers. I spent mine in my grandmother's library, my sister would only get asked what she knew once and would play outside all day to avoid Papa and that question. He still does it to me today, but I'm a little better prepared when he asks. lol Last edited by Midnight; 09-05-2007 at 10:30 AM..

09-05-2007, 01:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	"You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary. It's between SHIT and SYPHILIS." Good ol Dad. Always the compassionate one. He has a million of 'em. One of Dad's maxims that has proven true time and time again is as follows: "Never trust a guy with a fish on his business card, unless he's a fisherman." (a reference to the Jesus fish) __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

09-05-2007, 02:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
spectre Junkie	My grandfather about being nice: "do something for someone once and you're a nice guy, do it twice and it's expected, don't do it the third time and you're a son of a bitch." __________________ "Fuck these chains No goddamn slave I will be different" ~ Machine Head

09-07-2007, 09:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mith Tilted Location: Mesa, AZ	My grandfather gave me tons of advice on cock fighting and prostitutes... I don't remember any of it luckily. __________________ Mith

09-08-2007, 03:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	My mother's fond of saying "buy as little car as you need and as much house as you can afford." By which she means, of course, that one should sink one's money into the investment that is more likely to appreciate, rather than the one that is almost guaranteed to depreciate. I drive a sports car (according to my insurance company, anyway) and I rent an apartment. So I'm not following her advice. That doesn't mean it isn't helpful, though. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

10-01-2007, 02:15 PM	#13 (permalink)
ottopilot let me be clear Location: Waddy Peytona	My father always said "cut the gab" if we were too loud, or "cut the grab" if we were getting too wild or rough. So of course as adults, we kids had to come up with all sorts of "cut the (what ever)" uses for those special occasions when Mom and Dad get out of line. Mom and Dad are named Jim and Sherrill. We often heard, "shit Sherrill" and "damn it Jim"(Mom usually had a cigarette hanging off her lip) during times of disagreement or marital frustration. And (again) as adults (because we are so respectful), we kids try to use "shit Sherill" and "damn it Jim" as often as possible when recalling special family memories. One time my dad got so pissed at me that he actually said "don't look at me in that tone of voice!" We both stopped, looked at each other and busted out laughing... then he chased me through the house.

10-01-2007, 02:23 PM	#14 (permalink)
LazyBoy Insane Location: Memphis Area	My grandfather is gone now, but he used to always have something bright to say, regardless of the fact that he was stuck walking with a cane, due to back problems.....He also always told me that I could go to college, or wind up like him....then he'd laugh and buy me ice cream -Will __________________ Life is nothing, everything.....and something in between...

10-09-2007, 03:25 AM	#15 (permalink)
Titan_Uranus Insane Location: South Africa	Got an uncle who always says that if he does not get into heaven at least he's been to New Zealand.