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"You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary. It's between SHIT and SYPHILIS."
Good ol Dad. Always the compassionate one. He has a million of 'em. One of Dad's maxims that has proven true time and time again is as follows:
"Never trust a guy with a fish on his business card, unless he's a fisherman." (a reference to the Jesus fish)
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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
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