Another post-high school tale of underage tragedy - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

bluestars87 · 06-13-2007, 01:40 AM

Hola. Right so, for the record I'm 19. It's been two years since I've graduated high school. During my tenure there I was a slacker. I'll be honest with you. But I did graduate and walked and got my diploma. So that was nice. I just finished my second year of college at Academy of Art University in San Francisco. That's been okay. My GPA is decent and I'm in good standing. Although I have been having some personal issues with achieving my goals there that I won't go into. Since this isn't what the thread is about.

Instead, I'll talk about another personal issue. Now I'm really against talking about my own matters with...anyone. Whether it be it strangers or friends, I have this weird feeling that I'm burdening my own affairs on someone else, when I'm sure they have their own things to take care of. Now I don't mind listening to others and letting themselves vent, but me personally, it's just not my style most of the time. But at this moment...I'll share. Perhaps I'm just desperate for an answer to my situation, and maybe seeking advice from others might help.

Okay, so like I said, I'm 19. And well, I've never really had any serious relationship with any one girl during my entire...well...life. I don't think it was ever a case of me not being attractive or anything. I think I would know that. It was...something else. I'm not sure. Maybe it was the ethnicity I usually chased. I had three big crushes in high school, and they all happened to be Asian for some reason. They were usually the good looking nerdy type in some fashion or another. Guess you can say I'm more of a soft seeker in terms of women's persona. If that makes sense.

Anyways, I just came back from my former high school's graduation. Class of 2007. I'm class of 2005. When I was a senior, I met this one girl who in essence, became one of my best friends. Tina is her name. I was there to support her tonight as she got her own diploma. Heh, and if you're wondering, yes she's Asian. One of the best people you'll ever meet. The first time I spoke with her and met her, the charm...was just so uncommon. Not shy at all, quick to agree, smart, pretty, just a really good person, with a good heart. If you haven't figured it out by now, Tina was a sophomore while I was senior. She helped me at times get through a couple of personal epidemics I was pondering about during these three years I've known her. Just through conversation. Sometimes limited, other times passionate and innovative. Again, it's not my nature to share a lot with others about my own stories, but...I'd be lying if I said I didn't make a few exceptions in the past. It wasn't until recently though, maybe last year not quite sure, that I thought "more" of her. I kept having two sides with my conscience that was debating the aspect of trying to capture this individuals' heart and be more than..."friends". We had a conversation one time. It was very in depth. It was at a Carl's Jr. one night. Now while I didn't outright say "I think I really like you and maybe we could experiment being something more", I kind of eluded to it by saying "I have something really important to tell you Tina". And what I really liked about her, was that she didn't play games. Her response was "Yeah, I think I know what you want to say". But that is as far as it got. We started talking about other things. She also mentioned a close friend, a guy, that's she's known for a while that has helped her out and been there for her. Could have been just me, but at that moment in time...that was the signal to stop myself and just let things be as they were. I was afraid I might ruin something special in terms of the friendship we have.

So now, I come home after the ceremony that occurred tonight. I was so damn happy for her. She's been through a lot too in terms of family and life situations, so it was nice to see her graduate. But as I was talking with her after she threw her tassel and I found her...I was thinking "Man, this might be the last time I see her...for a while, or ever again". Now she's going to a religious university in Southern California. Which is cool. I mean she's really got in touch with that side of her the past year or so. And she'll be close to her sister who goes to Irvine. I on the other hand will still be attending my college in San Francisco. Commuting to it I should say. Funny how we were living down the street this whole time, and now she's gone. I kept thinking as I went to the gym tonight, "Let her go, just let her go". But for some dumb reason, I just feel like I'm losing someone so special, and I know our friendship could have been so much stronger if only I knew her before I was a senior. One more year (when I was a junior) would have been fine. But I guess this is life. And I feel like the ultimate decision will be having to move on. Honestly though, I'm very...sad right now. Heh, boo-hoo right? Please, any advice from you guys would be very helpful. Thanks.

Push-Pull · 06-13-2007, 04:19 AM

Dude, man up! (said in a friendly "I'm trying to help you" sort of way.)

Tell her! Think about it, what is the worse that could happen if you keep your cool and tell her? What do you have to lose by telling her? Your heart WILL know the difference no matter how it turns out.

Seriously, tell her. At very least you will have learned something about yourself in doing so. Good luck!

Jetée · 06-13-2007, 04:59 AM

Do not regret what could have been, because that can be the worst feeling to have.
Say what you wanted to, and see what progresses from there. Just remember that she is not the only girl in the field.
And if you may never see her again, then what is the point of trying to preserve a friendship if you want something more from the relationship?

Have at it, and arrange another meeting with her; it can either be to say farewell and good luck or how about we start something we should have begun much earlier?

bluestars87 · 06-13-2007, 10:25 AM

Well...the reason I didn't tell her, was because I was afraid of ruining a good friendship. I had a similar thing happen with another girl before, and things are kind of awkward between us now. Even though Tina probably wouldn't change (she's just not that kind of person) I didn't think about that at the moment. And she said she had a friend that was really close to her and had been there for her a lot too. I don't know, maybe past experiences lowered my self-esteem. Which may be the reason I didn't tell her that night I should have. I just wasn't sure at that moment in time. And I'm not sure if telling her now, I mean what would come of it? She's about to go to college in the fall, I mean what do I tell her? That I really like you, but I know we can't do anything together even if the feeling was mutual because you'll be away? I'm really lost... T.T

Push-Pull · 06-13-2007, 05:15 PM

Quote:

And I'm not sure if telling her now, I mean what would come of it? She's about to go to college in the fall, I mean what do I tell her? That I really like you, but I know we can't do anything together even if the feeling was mutual because you'll be away?

Even more of a reason to TELL HER.....

Something like...."I'm sorry that I waited to this point to tell you, but I have feelings for you that go beyond friendship. I understand that you may not feel the same way, and with us having to be apart I realize that it's not the best of circumstances. I will understand if you think of me as a friend, but if by chance that you feel the same way, then I'm certain that we can have something special and make it work somehow."

I'm not going to promise that this is the single greatest thing that you will ever do, but I can promise that it is a much better feeling to have at least tried than to have not.

bluestars87 · 06-13-2007, 06:17 PM

More bad news. The situation just took another bad turn. I'm sure those of you with experience can guess what happened. I think I'm just going to end it right here by saying thank you for everyone's opinion.

Deltona Couple · 06-14-2007, 05:59 AM

Well some of us DO have experience, but still, guessing is NEVER a good idea. let's hear it!

embo · 06-14-2007, 10:02 AM

Rejected?

That is NOT bad news. That is fantastic news. Because now that you know the truth, you're free of the burden of always wondering. Now that you're free of that burden, you are also free to move on with your life and go out into the world and meet, literally, THOUSANDS of other women, many of whom will have a much better connection than you ever had with this girl.

Trust me. This is the best thing that could have happened. You don't know it now, but in time you'll look back and realize it. You have nothing but pure opportunity ahead of you. Don't squander it.

Shauk · 06-14-2007, 10:26 AM

I don't like guessing.

Pesto · 06-14-2007, 11:24 AM

I guess she met someone else.

Jetée · 06-14-2007, 11:31 AM

I will guess she got into a bar brawl with the wrong squad of cheerleaders and ended up in a coma...

So, bluestars87, which one of us is right?

bluestars87 · 06-14-2007, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pesto

I guess she met someone else.

Close. I called a good friend of mine and talked to her. And apparently, her younger brother went to prom with the girl I'm talking about, and they may be an item. She doesn't think it will last because they're both going their separate ways come fall, but still...that's the news.

I've got a lot of responses from people elsewhere, and I think I've decided to just let it go and treasure the friendship we have at the moment, instead of risking it for some small glimmer of a destiny that's very unlikely to occur. So...heh, I guess at this point, that's that. I'll see her off come August and say my goodbyes, but I won't say anything about the way I feel. But thanks everyone for helping me out.

tooth · 06-14-2007, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluestars87

Close. I called a good friend of mine and talked to her. And apparently, her younger brother went to prom with the girl I'm talking about, and they may be an item. She doesn't think it will last because they're both going their separate ways come fall, but still...that's the news.

I've got a lot of responses from people elsewhere, and I think I've decided to just let it go and treasure the friendship we have at the moment, instead of risking it for some small glimmer of a destiny that's very unlikely to occur. So...heh, I guess at this point, that's that. I'll see her off come August and say my goodbyes, but I won't say anything about the way I feel. But thanks everyone for helping me out.

How is that a bad turn? So they went to prom together. Is she supposed to not go out while you decide wether to shit or get off the pot?

Timing may suck, be you should still tell her. Let her make up her own mind.

bluestars87 · 06-14-2007, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooth

How is that a bad turn? So they went to prom together. Is she supposed to not go out while you decide wether to shit or get off the pot?

Timing may suck, be you should still tell her. Let her make up her own mind.

She has a boyfriend now. Apparently after going to prom, they hooked up. That's what I'm trying to say. It might not be a bad turn, but it makes things more complicated.

Pesto · 06-14-2007, 01:36 PM

Nah. Give it a shot anyway. Call her up and just give it to her point blank.

"I like you, and as more than just friends."

bluestars87 · 06-15-2007, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pesto

Nah. Give it a shot anyway. Call her up and just give it to her point blank.

"I like you, and as more than just friends."

Nah. I've decided not to. May seem like I"m "giving up", but after talking to numerous people, I learned that the type of connection I was seeking...isn't apparent. I'd probably know by now if it was. I'm just going to leave things as they are and say my final goodbyes before she goes off to college down south. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but...I feel that it's the right one. Thanks for your help though.

Jinn · 06-15-2007, 07:50 AM

College girls are easier, anyway.

Frankly, it was probably a good choice. I ruined friendships in high school in a very similar matter. A lot of times, they also don't know what they want.

06-13-2007, 01:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
bluestars87 Tilted Location: California	Another post-high school tale of underage tragedy Hola. Right so, for the record I'm 19. It's been two years since I've graduated high school. During my tenure there I was a slacker. I'll be honest with you. But I did graduate and walked and got my diploma. So that was nice. I just finished my second year of college at Academy of Art University in San Francisco. That's been okay. My GPA is decent and I'm in good standing. Although I have been having some personal issues with achieving my goals there that I won't go into. Since this isn't what the thread is about. Instead, I'll talk about another personal issue. Now I'm really against talking about my own matters with...anyone. Whether it be it strangers or friends, I have this weird feeling that I'm burdening my own affairs on someone else, when I'm sure they have their own things to take care of. Now I don't mind listening to others and letting themselves vent, but me personally, it's just not my style most of the time. But at this moment...I'll share. Perhaps I'm just desperate for an answer to my situation, and maybe seeking advice from others might help. Okay, so like I said, I'm 19. And well, I've never really had any serious relationship with any one girl during my entire...well...life. I don't think it was ever a case of me not being attractive or anything. I think I would know that. It was...something else. I'm not sure. Maybe it was the ethnicity I usually chased. I had three big crushes in high school, and they all happened to be Asian for some reason. They were usually the good looking nerdy type in some fashion or another. Guess you can say I'm more of a soft seeker in terms of women's persona. If that makes sense. Anyways, I just came back from my former high school's graduation. Class of 2007. I'm class of 2005. When I was a senior, I met this one girl who in essence, became one of my best friends. Tina is her name. I was there to support her tonight as she got her own diploma. Heh, and if you're wondering, yes she's Asian. One of the best people you'll ever meet. The first time I spoke with her and met her, the charm...was just so uncommon. Not shy at all, quick to agree, smart, pretty, just a really good person, with a good heart. If you haven't figured it out by now, Tina was a sophomore while I was senior. She helped me at times get through a couple of personal epidemics I was pondering about during these three years I've known her. Just through conversation. Sometimes limited, other times passionate and innovative. Again, it's not my nature to share a lot with others about my own stories, but...I'd be lying if I said I didn't make a few exceptions in the past. It wasn't until recently though, maybe last year not quite sure, that I thought "more" of her. I kept having two sides with my conscience that was debating the aspect of trying to capture this individuals' heart and be more than..."friends". We had a conversation one time. It was very in depth. It was at a Carl's Jr. one night. Now while I didn't outright say "I think I really like you and maybe we could experiment being something more", I kind of eluded to it by saying "I have something really important to tell you Tina". And what I really liked about her, was that she didn't play games. Her response was "Yeah, I think I know what you want to say". But that is as far as it got. We started talking about other things. She also mentioned a close friend, a guy, that's she's known for a while that has helped her out and been there for her. Could have been just me, but at that moment in time...that was the signal to stop myself and just let things be as they were. I was afraid I might ruin something special in terms of the friendship we have. So now, I come home after the ceremony that occurred tonight. I was so damn happy for her. She's been through a lot too in terms of family and life situations, so it was nice to see her graduate. But as I was talking with her after she threw her tassel and I found her...I was thinking "Man, this might be the last time I see her...for a while, or ever again". Now she's going to a religious university in Southern California. Which is cool. I mean she's really got in touch with that side of her the past year or so. And she'll be close to her sister who goes to Irvine. I on the other hand will still be attending my college in San Francisco. Commuting to it I should say. Funny how we were living down the street this whole time, and now she's gone. I kept thinking as I went to the gym tonight, "Let her go, just let her go". But for some dumb reason, I just feel like I'm losing someone so special, and I know our friendship could have been so much stronger if only I knew her before I was a senior. One more year (when I was a junior) would have been fine. But I guess this is life. And I feel like the ultimate decision will be having to move on. Honestly though, I'm very...sad right now. Heh, boo-hoo right? Please, any advice from you guys would be very helpful. Thanks. __________________ "Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!" -San Francisco 49ers: Five Time Super Bowl Champions-

06-13-2007, 04:19 AM	#2 (permalink)
Push-Pull I'll ask when I'm ready.... Location: Firmly in the middle....	Dude, man up! (said in a friendly "I'm trying to help you" sort of way.) Tell her! Think about it, what is the worse that could happen if you keep your cool and tell her? What do you have to lose by telling her? Your heart WILL know the difference no matter how it turns out. Seriously, tell her. At very least you will have learned something about yourself in doing so. Good luck! __________________ "No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me- "Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown- DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

06-13-2007, 04:59 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	Do not regret what could have been, because that can be the worst feeling to have. Say what you wanted to, and see what progresses from there. Just remember that she is not the only girl in the field. And if you may never see her again, then what is the point of trying to preserve a friendship if you want something more from the relationship? Have at it, and arrange another meeting with her; it can either be to say farewell and good luck or how about we start something we should have begun much earlier? __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

06-13-2007, 10:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
bluestars87 Tilted Location: California	Well...the reason I didn't tell her, was because I was afraid of ruining a good friendship. I had a similar thing happen with another girl before, and things are kind of awkward between us now. Even though Tina probably wouldn't change (she's just not that kind of person) I didn't think about that at the moment. And she said she had a friend that was really close to her and had been there for her a lot too. I don't know, maybe past experiences lowered my self-esteem. Which may be the reason I didn't tell her that night I should have. I just wasn't sure at that moment in time. And I'm not sure if telling her now, I mean what would come of it? She's about to go to college in the fall, I mean what do I tell her? That I really like you, but I know we can't do anything together even if the feeling was mutual because you'll be away? I'm really lost... T.T __________________ "Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!" -San Francisco 49ers: Five Time Super Bowl Champions- Last edited by bluestars87; 06-13-2007 at 10:28 AM..

06-13-2007, 06:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
bluestars87 Tilted Location: California	More bad news. The situation just took another bad turn. I'm sure those of you with experience can guess what happened. I think I'm just going to end it right here by saying thank you for everyone's opinion. __________________ "Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!" -San Francisco 49ers: Five Time Super Bowl Champions-

06-14-2007, 05:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
Deltona Couple Addict Location: Spring, Texas	Well some of us DO have experience, but still, guessing is NEVER a good idea. let's hear it! __________________ "It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison

06-14-2007, 10:02 AM	#8 (permalink)
embo Upright	Rejected? That is NOT bad news. That is fantastic news. Because now that you know the truth, you're free of the burden of always wondering. Now that you're free of that burden, you are also free to move on with your life and go out into the world and meet, literally, THOUSANDS of other women, many of whom will have a much better connection than you ever had with this girl. Trust me. This is the best thing that could have happened. You don't know it now, but in time you'll look back and realize it. You have nothing but pure opportunity ahead of you. Don't squander it.

06-14-2007, 10:26 AM	#9 (permalink)
Shauk Confused Adult Location: Spokane, WA	I don't like guessing.

06-14-2007, 11:24 AM	#10 (permalink)
Pesto Upright Location: Chicago	I guess she met someone else.

06-14-2007, 11:31 AM	#11 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	I will guess she got into a bar brawl with the wrong squad of cheerleaders and ended up in a coma... So, bluestars87, which one of us is right? __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

06-14-2007, 01:36 PM	#15 (permalink)
Pesto Upright Location: Chicago	Nah. Give it a shot anyway. Call her up and just give it to her point blank. "I like you, and as more than just friends."

06-15-2007, 07:50 AM	#17 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	College girls are easier, anyway. Frankly, it was probably a good choice. I ruined friendships in high school in a very similar matter. A lot of times, they also don't know what they want. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel