SELF-CONFIDENCE - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

johnyto · 06-07-2003, 12:06 PM

Hey crew, i just got a quick question. How do you gain self-confidence and never give up and always try the hardest to accomplish things? Basically, i ask this because i have little self-confidence when it comes to women, i just don't know what i should talk to them about if i wanted to ask them out or something. That is one reason for me not going out with the girl i always wanted back in high school and now i am trying to figure out what i did wrong and how i can fix it and give myself a chance at what is out there for me. Hopefully you guys have a tip or answer to my dilemma. and yes, i tried search but nothing close to my problem. i saw washington's thread but i don't know how i can apply that to me: i am 22, runner, student, a house, two cars, living with mom and currently gaining myself as a person. Thanks.

Frowning Budah · 06-07-2003, 12:56 PM

You got a sister, Your friends got little sisters? How do you treat them? Basically treat the ones you like the same way. When you stop thinking of them as Goddeses and start treating them like just another person. You will do fine. I was always teasing the girls in high school, even the most popular ones. I acted like they were my sister. I was always making fun of something they said or did, always with a big smile on my face so they knew I was kidding. Then sometimes I would just compliment them on something. Kept them a little off balance. I did alright

rockzilla · 06-07-2003, 01:14 PM

A big part of self confidence is controlling fear. Chances are the one that got away in high school got away because you were too afraid to try anything. The worst thing that can happen when you ask a girl out is she'll politely decline, if she laughs or calls you loser, she's a probably shallow, empty headed skank who isn't worth your time anyway.

Someone in Washington's thread mentioned that women love talking about themselves (then again don't we all?) It's pretty easy to get a woman started if you ask her a simple question about what she's taking in school, why she likes it, what she wants to do after she's done, and so on. Just pay attention to what she says, make eye contact, throw in a compliment here and there and you'll soon realize that talking to women isn't that hard.

fhqwhgads · 06-07-2003, 04:06 PM

I second what rockzilla said. First of all, you have nothing to lose by asking a girl out. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Pride heals. Secondly, talking to a woman doesn't have to be that hard. Genuinely take an interest in what the other person is saying. Instead of being one of these people who say "Uh huh" and "yeah" when responding to a person. Ask questions...even if it's as simple as "and then what happened?" It shows the person that you are really listening, and that you care about what they are talking about...

Good luck to you bro...

madsenj37 · 06-08-2003, 02:06 AM

Self confidence takes time. You have to work on it. It is more than a frame of mind. Self confidene comes from accomplishments, liek facing your fears. Also, the above posters know what they are talking about.

alterEGO · 06-08-2003, 02:48 AM

Listen to my favorite metal bands and listen to angry lyrics give me self respect and self confindence.

Shades · 06-08-2003, 09:44 AM

I used to have self confidence problems also. And by used to, still do. But I found an OK system to deal with it.

What I was afraid of, primarily, is that the girls would/were saying no because I didn't have anything to offer- not handsome, bad breath, too fat, too short, too tall, whatever. So I started approaching the problem from the assumption that I was, in fact, worthless. That way, if they said no, I wasn't surprised. If I was made fun of, then those people were the lowest scum on Earth for picking on someone as lowly as me, so fuck them. And if they said yes, then maybe this person was great, but I was going to need to be careful and just not throw my whole heart in the first five minutes.

It works out pretty good for awhile, keeps you going until the first girl that you really connect with comes along and yuo date her long term. Then you're going to have to start liking yourself again.

06-07-2003, 12:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
johnyto Upright Location: Chicago, Ill	SELF-CONFIDENCE Hey crew, i just got a quick question. How do you gain self-confidence and never give up and always try the hardest to accomplish things? Basically, i ask this because i have little self-confidence when it comes to women, i just don't know what i should talk to them about if i wanted to ask them out or something. That is one reason for me not going out with the girl i always wanted back in high school and now i am trying to figure out what i did wrong and how i can fix it and give myself a chance at what is out there for me. Hopefully you guys have a tip or answer to my dilemma. and yes, i tried search but nothing close to my problem. i saw washington's thread but i don't know how i can apply that to me: i am 22, runner, student, a house, two cars, living with mom and currently gaining myself as a person. Thanks.

06-08-2003, 02:06 AM	#5 (permalink)
madsenj37 Still searching... Location: NorCal For Life	Self confidence takes time. You have to work on it. It is more than a frame of mind. Self confidene comes from accomplishments, liek facing your fears. Also, the above posters know what they are talking about. __________________ "Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe." -- Albert Einstein

06-07-2003, 12:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
Frowning Budah Slave of Fear	You got a sister, Your friends got little sisters? How do you treat them? Basically treat the ones you like the same way. When you stop thinking of them as Goddeses and start treating them like just another person. You will do fine. I was always teasing the girls in high school, even the most popular ones. I acted like they were my sister. I was always making fun of something they said or did, always with a big smile on my face so they knew I was kidding. Then sometimes I would just compliment them on something. Kept them a little off balance. I did alright

06-07-2003, 01:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
rockzilla Junkie Location: The Kitchen	A big part of self confidence is controlling fear. Chances are the one that got away in high school got away because you were too afraid to try anything. The worst thing that can happen when you ask a girl out is she'll politely decline, if she laughs or calls you loser, she's a probably shallow, empty headed skank who isn't worth your time anyway. Someone in Washington's thread mentioned that women love talking about themselves (then again don't we all?) It's pretty easy to get a woman started if you ask her a simple question about what she's taking in school, why she likes it, what she wants to do after she's done, and so on. Just pay attention to what she says, make eye contact, throw in a compliment here and there and you'll soon realize that talking to women isn't that hard.

06-07-2003, 04:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	I second what rockzilla said. First of all, you have nothing to lose by asking a girl out. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Pride heals. Secondly, talking to a woman doesn't have to be that hard. Genuinely take an interest in what the other person is saying. Instead of being one of these people who say "Uh huh" and "yeah" when responding to a person. Ask questions...even if it's as simple as "and then what happened?" It shows the person that you are really listening, and that you care about what they are talking about... Good luck to you bro...

06-08-2003, 02:48 AM	#6 (permalink)
alterEGO Loser	Listen to my favorite metal bands and listen to angry lyrics give me self respect and self confindence.

06-08-2003, 09:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
Shades Insane	I used to have self confidence problems also. And by used to, still do. But I found an OK system to deal with it. What I was afraid of, primarily, is that the girls would/were saying no because I didn't have anything to offer- not handsome, bad breath, too fat, too short, too tall, whatever. So I started approaching the problem from the assumption that I was, in fact, worthless. That way, if they said no, I wasn't surprised. If I was made fun of, then those people were the lowest scum on Earth for picking on someone as lowly as me, so fuck them. And if they said yes, then maybe this person was great, but I was going to need to be careful and just not throw my whole heart in the first five minutes. It works out pretty good for awhile, keeps you going until the first girl that you really connect with comes along and yuo date her long term. Then you're going to have to start liking yourself again.