Zeraph

I see this word being misused or used differently a lot on this forum, and thought we should clear it up and all decide on the definition.

To my understanding introversion is not shyness, antisocial behavior, or social ineptness. Even though these are things that commonly result from it.

To keep it simple, Introversion/extroversion has to do with stimulation, an introvert has high internal stimulation, and an extrovert has low internal stimulation. This causes an introvert to dislike extra stimulation in social situations, in a sense they get drained or stressed from being in crowds and groups.

An extrovert has lower internal stimulation and therefore seeks to stimulate themselves by being around extra people, they tend to be better socially, but not just because they’re an extrovert, it's because they tend to spend more time in groups (especially from a younger age) and therefore tend to be better (but it's not automatic). One can still be a social expert as an introvert, and an extrovert be a social idiot.

Think of it like a scale.

|
| Introvert - high stimulation (internal) resting level
|
| optimum stimulation level
|
| Extrovert - low stimulation (internal) resting level
|

Both seek to be at optimum stimulation level, introverts get there by going down, and extroverts get there by going up. High or low are not inherently better or worse, it is just the state you are naturally (base, resting level) in.

So as you can see, just because youre shy, does not automatically mean you are an introvert, and just because youre socially adept, or enjoy parties, does not automatically make you an extrovert.

I am an introvert, I like people and even like most parties, the only difference is that I still feel drained (I seek to lower my over stimulation), no matter what, after being around crowds, parties, and even friends. I need my alone time to recuperate (get back to my arousal/stimulation comfort level).

Almost certainly, some people are in between and are not clearly one or the other, so you may not be able to tell what you are yourself. Focus on trying to figure out if you get energized by simply being around crowds/groups/people, or feel the need to be alone (in normal states as well, not just if you’re emotionally upset or something). Try not to get confused with other factors that may reinforce stress relief in social situations like drugs and alcohol. And alone time means alone, even from SOs and family.

Well I hoped this help some, I've been wanting to post about it for awhile now but hadn't really had the time. Do you agree/disagree? Did this help clear anything up?

Meier_Link

Actually, I think that may have helped my perception of introvert/extrovert....

I was inclined to believe that an introvert was someone shy and taciturn while an extrovert is a person more talkative and social...

You've reminded me that these are symptoms of these two conditions and not descriptions of them...

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Suave

I was thinking of making a post like this as well. One thing to note though, is that due to the tendancies that arise from introversion, shy people are more likely to be introverts than extroverts.

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msh58

wonderful post, it says what i've been trying to figure out for so long, the definitions. I typically have a score of 19 for introvert and 1 for extrovert on those tests. Just introverted.

Really is whether a person is charged up around people or drained by them i think.

I get so drained dealing with people in person, just really like this medium where i can just shut it off when i want. Talk to people for awhile then leave.

onodrim

Absolutely agree and it's a great way of defining and explaing the difference.

This is exactly how I am. I can do just fine in a social situation andhave a good time when the opportunity arises, but I can't relax and settle myself until I've had that alone time afterwards. The only difference is that I only have that response after a more large event. If I were to spend a lot of time hanging out with one or two close friends for a long time, that wouldn't drain me at all. But once it becomes a small to large crowd, the need for alone time increases.

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-Carl Sagan

vanblah

Introversion in a classical sense is being wrapped up in yourself. Not selfishness or insecurity (although they can seem to go hand in hand). The "thinker." They don't seek external stimulation (as much).

According to the Oxford English Dictionary it is the same as reserved. Being reserved is not the same as being shy.

Shyness is an almost physically painful feeling of discomfort when meeting new people (keyword is NEW). An introvert MAY also be shy.

Extroversion is the opposite. An UN-reserved person. Not to say that they don't think ... but there is less emphasis on inward thoughts. They seek external stimulation (as was said in the first post).

I'll check the DSM-IV tomorrow at work and see if there's a better definition.

Jinn

Thanks for this post.. there IS an inherent difference between being shy and introverted, but I couldn't clearly define why some people were okay with not enjoying others' company as much and why some people rabidly despised it. Under your definition, the first was an introvert and the latter was just shy. That explains why I was always ESTJ on Myers'-Brigg's, even though I was afraid of people. I felt like I was Introverted, but personality tests always told me Extroverted.. I was SHY, not introverted.

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match000

Now, *that's* an odd combo..

serlindsipity

that would explain my friends who are quiet and it makes sense becuase they are such deep thinkers that they choose not to be out in obnoxiously loud places.

Thanks for the insight!

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frogza

You nailed it! I am an introvert and though I can deal with people socially I don't need it at all. Just like you stated, after being with a group of people I need a break.

little_tippler

I used to be pretty shy but I'm better at that now - I forced myself to deal with it because it can be impairing in certain situations. I am an introvert most certainly because I'm not great in big groups and social situations. I can deal with it, but I do need that alone time and I enjoy being on my own more than most, I suspect. Even sometimes with close friends, I love spending time with them, but then at the end of the day I like to go off on my own and "recuperate". Socially I can handle things fine but I don't like to be the center of attention (nor do I like to be put aside) and I'm not the life of the party, though I have my moments. I have come to a point in life where I can read other people a lot better so I can shake off my shyness and talk easily ( because I realise everyone else can feel awkward at times too) and often when I tell people I'm usually pretty "shy" I often get the response that they don't see me that way at all. With close friends I talk plenty and have no problems relating and interacting.

I'd also like to say that I'm fed up of people making it seem like being introverted is a bad thing and it's better to be outgoing and extroverted. It's not - it's just different. I personally much prefer someone who chooses their words and thinks about what they're saying before it just comes flying out of their mouth. If you listen carefully, some people talk a lot of shit. I prefer the complicity of a mutual silence far more than just talking about the weather and what I do for a living because no-one knows what to talk about. I don't want to be that person who always has an answer to everything and knows everyone. I'd much rather just be myself. /rant

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

JustJess

I tend to be pretty outgoing when in social situations, and I find the extrovert description pretty apt... but I do need downtime as well, when I don't feel like dealing with people. Once I get out, I'm happy, but it takes some conversations with myself to get me to go. Maybe I'm a lazy extrovert?

I don't think either one is better, just different. I do think it's better/easier not to be actually shy - it makes it hard on the shy person to interact, and that's a shame. It means others don't get to learn about you as often, and you don't get to learn about them either. That's one of the things I love about interacting with people.

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