MEAD

So it took me 20 years to find out that while I love many things, I have absolutely no direction in life. Let me explain. I've always been passionate about my interests. When I was a kid it was nature, fish and reptiles, and art. That was what I was all about. Then I got into sports. I was ususally taller than most young kids and pretty athletic, plus my my dad is big into sports. I didnt lose my interests in nature or art, but added to it; I was diverse and that would turn out to be my big problem.

Of course, most kids don't grow up and pursue their childhood loves; their interests change or are squashed by reality. So I grew up. Art stuck, but the fish, lizards, and sports practices went. I found music; I wanted to be in a world famous band. Then I found music recording; I wanted to be the producer of my famous band, I could do the cover art too becuase I still loved to draw and paint.

I guess I started to know I was going to have a problem senior year of highschool. I won a few art shows, performed on guitar at school conerts as well as with my band towards the end of school. My life seemed to make sense to other people; I was going to do something with art or music. Graphic design seemed like a sane career choice for an arty guy like me to other people, but I already had a new love, film and movie making. I was 18 by this time and decided that I had to make this new love stick.

So I went to college and tried to make my way into a pretty competitive film school. I didn't make it in. So I transfered schools, decided to major in English and figure out film on the side. That brings me to this year. I'm balancing my loves of art, music, film, recording, and writing, with the idea that film was my ultimate goal. Then in comes my 20th birthday, a movie script I'm always almost done with, and friends I can't depend on to help me with big projects (the movie or getting a band together), and I start to think,

"Do I really want to go into film for the rest of my life? It's dangerous and I could end up flat on my ass. I'm not even that good at it yet... I can't do anything with an English degree. I really don't even like reading... Maybe I'd rather play in a band again... I'm good at that, plus it would be more fun than film... I should really start fixing my resume to send to film companies in New York like my parents and I were expecting me too.... I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I wish I had a girlfriend. I'm not good enough at any of these things to make it. I can't end up in an office! Shit!"

I want to do it all and I am fearing that I'll get to do none of it. That I don't have enough energy or will power to get anything important done. I've loved too many things and found myself with no clear path, and anything I do want to do is a bit outside the norm. Something that takes effort that is above and beyond just going to classes and getting a degree. Everything I want to do involves me putting my future on the line.. I guess this is common in college... to realize that you are completely fucked. So help!

__________________
Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die.
"That's it, send out the ninjas!"
"So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."

zensheep

In many respects I feel the same way. I'm a senior in college right now and come this June I'll have a degree in History, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do after that. History has always been a huge interest of mine, and so I went into it in college and loved my classes and continued on with it. But now that I'm getting down to the wire of deciding which direction my life is going in, I'm just not sure where to go with it. I wouldn't say that I lack motivation, I'm just not sure how to best direct that motivation into a career. I would love to do something with music, but I have no musical talent and not sure where to begin with that. I guess that this didn't really help you much but at least you know you're not alone

DDDDave

"" So it took me 20 years to find out that while I love many things, I have absolutely no direction in life. ""

Young jedi.... we all love many things. No one (especially us interweb dweebs) can tell you your direction, you must find it yourself.


"" Everything I want to do involves me putting my future on the line.. ""

Bam....you hit the nail on the head. You want someone to tell you what to do so that you have no responsibility for what does or does not happen. You must take responsibility for your own life. You will find that to be successful in anything you must commit completely. Scary, hell yes. Rewarding, completely.


"" It's dangerous and I could end up flat on my ass. ""

Yep. But then you will do like everyone else...get up, dust yourself off, and move on to the next adventure.


My suggestion, get a job in the film industry. Anything. You will see the industry from the ground up and if it is not for you, move on. Ever thought of being a cameraman? There is an incredible need for camerapersons (pc) in every facet of media. I don't know, sports camera guy, grip for a film company, local cable company writer.

I know it's corny but........Just do it.

__________________
I am just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe...

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau

"Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm" - Emerson

soma

I think about 90% of college students are in the same boat. When asked the question: "What are you planning to do with your life?" many of us just have some prepackaged whilly nhilly something to say. Errr... Good luck with what you're doing though.

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Having Girl Problems?

match000

Great job: Be an English teacher in elementary/middle/highschool.

2 months of paid vacation every year! Who could ask for more?

Toaster126

Um... no. Those two months are compensation for the 60+ hour weeks.

I do agree teaching is a wonderful profession that would be able to handle your many facets of interest and creativity.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

abaya

Agreed. Do NOT go into teaching just for the vacations. Even though it's a wonderful profession, it takes a pretty special person to be able to handle those 60+ hour weeks. You may very well be one of them; you won't know until you try. That's what I did, anyway... but I couldn't really handle it. And I'm glad I found that out, at least.

I was in your place about 5 years ago. I majored in English and Education (+ History minor, to teach), did my student teaching, even taught a couple years... but I did not love it as much as I had hoped. And I *worshiped* my teachers when I was growing up... I just didn't realize that even though I liked teachers, didn't mean that I would be a good one. I mean, I liked teaching alright, but I wouldn't call it my passion. I was not 100% committed... so I changed jobs, became a graduate student in anthropology with the desire to be a professor.

And now, 3 years into that, I know that I don't want to be a professor anymore. I wouldn't mind working for an immigration research company or something, but sometimes I really just think I want a 9-5 job that is semi-challenging but doesn't eat up the rest of my life. Maybe I *don't* want to be passionate about something anymore heh. (I used to be like you, totally dreamy about so many things...)

I think most people end up doing something they aren't passionate about, but that they can be committed to, earn a paycheck from, and go home and relax afterwards. "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." -Thoreau, I think. But that doesn't usually happen until one's mid-30s-40s, once we get off this idealistic high of our 20s. I am halfway there, I tell you.

Advice? PICK SOMETHING, and do it for a while. See if you like it. It doesn't even matter what it is, really... just get whatever job you can find after college, and see how it goes. I guarantee you that you'll learn more about yourself, your preferences, your dreams, by work experience than you ever have in a classroom. Say to yourself, "This isn't permanent, I can change jobs anytime." And do that, after a while. Try something else based on what you learned at your first job. Etc. etc. Eventually, you figure out what you want to do.

(Again, I am only halfway there.)

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Coppertop

Don't worry about it. I'm 30 and have no idea what I want to do with my life either. Life goes on.

MEAD

Thanks guys

__________________
Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die.
"That's it, send out the ninjas!"
"So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."

taboo

hey i'm in my mid tenties and still have the same question more or less.

one piece of advice. instead of spreading your energy, try and focus on one thing at a time. cuz if you do too many things at once, you won't do either as well maybe.

focus on what you're most passionate about first, try it, push it, and then if it doesn't work, "fall back" on the rest.

buttt still keep working at the rest-- but put your major focus on one thing.

or if you can't on one specific thing, then on one "domain".
like music. then you can go deeper with that and get into recording, playing ect. hope that helped..

Telluride

I'm basically in the same situation. I'll be 29 next week and I have a good job, but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. And, unfortunately, I have no freakin' idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm intelligent and have quite a few interests, but none that would really translate to a good, stable career.

The good news is that I could stick with my current job for the rest of my life if I had to. It's not bad at all and it pays the bills. It's just not very interesting.

__________________
"I am certain that nothing has done so much to destroy the safeguards of individual freedom as the striving after this mirage of social justice." - Friedrich Hayek

abaya

I always wonder why many people in our generation are still stuck on the idea of a "good, stable career." I mean, security is one thing, but you can get security from having several challenging, worthwhile jobs/careers in one's lifetime (in my opinion).

I always thought the idea of spending 30 years doing the same thing had become passe, if not just plain boring. Don't most people change jobs 5-7 times in their lives? Be bold, folks!! A job is not a marriage... 'til death do you part is not a healthy mindset for work!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

highthief

*points out many of the rest of us work 60 hour weeks but don't get summers, spring breaks and 2 weeks off at Christmas*

runs away...

Anyway, I agree with DDDDave - his advice is sound.

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Si vis pacem parabellum.

Rawb

abaya,

5-7 job changes in their lifetime? I'm 25 and on job #7 (only counting real tech jobs), does that mean I have to stay at this company for the rest of my life?

Anyways, I knew what I was going to do at the age of 12. I figured out that year that I sucked at baseball and should do something else. So, I started playing around with an 8088 in the basement, and rapidly decided that computers were my thing. It's not as nice as you would think, now that I have my own house and have my "final" career, the rest of my life is starting to look like it's just going to be a repeat of what has already been.

My advice, try to remember that a job is a job. Sometimes it's enough to just like your job. That's why you have hobbies, and time when you aren't working. Also, there's nothing wrong with changing career paths totally mid-stream. However, if you are waiting for that job that makes you want to wake up in the morning and be excited to go to work every single day, you're probably never going to find it.

Just my advice, take it or leave it.

maleficent

The statistic, for whatever they are worth, I've always heard, is that the average person changes careers (not necessarily jobs) 2 -3 times in their lifetime... they can have 2, 4, 7 jobs in that one career...

I work with lots of people, particularly those above a certain age, who've spent their career within one company - absolutely not doing the same thing -moving around with the company... At one point - the company would show you loyalty, in the form of a pension, etc... those days are gone...

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Coppertop

I know what you mean, mal. My father is about to retire and he's been at his company for over 40 years. I've had the same employer (but different from my father) for 10 years, and I'm 30.

Like father, like son, eh?