Public Restroom Behavior - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Wrexify · 06-09-2009, 05:32 AM

So this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately and I'm curious to hear your opinions.

How are we supposed to act in a public restroom scenario? It seems that there are some unwritten codes of conduct that I'm unaware of.

Personally, I don't want anyone to strike up a conversation with me when I'm standing at a urinal. I'm apparently in the minority here... Every day I overhear lengthy, personal conversations started when both parties have their dicks out. Can't it wait at least until we're washing our hands?

Another thing that kills me is when I hear a guy in the stall next to me unleashing a torrent of sound and fury upon the world. I try to be as ninja-like as possible in avoiding embarrassing noises but again, I seem to be the only one who feels this way. Apparently, the goal is to be as orchestral as possible when taking care of business.

So what do you think? Am I way out in left field? Do I think about stupid shit (pun intended) like this too much? Do you not care?

I'd like to hear from some ladies, too. Are your experiences in the public restroom similar? I like to imagine that ladies' rooms are like VIP lounges: leather couches, free drinks, everyone having a good time, and not the disgusting sewer that is the average men's room.

Baraka_Guru · 06-09-2009, 05:41 AM

But seriously: conversations should be kept to a minimum, cellphones are right out.

If you can't keep it down while in the stall, you should probably see a doctor and/or a nutritionist.

Do you want to know the issue I have?

I think I'm in the minority of people who washes my hands. Very few people do, and many who do use the tap are only pretending. They get their hands wet and then leave. I have an issue with this because everyone touches the same handle to get out of the washroom that I do. Ew. And if your hands are wet (instead of actually washed), it's even worse. That water is an awesome transmitter of whatever you failed to wash off your hands.

wooÐs · 06-09-2009, 06:14 AM

I loathe sinks / vanities in public restrooms. They're always puddled up with water. When I go to wash my hands, it never fails that I get that annoying water line where my c-section scar would be if I had a child. Wtf, do women just fling their hands dry after washing? Do I always walk in right after a water balloon fight? It really bothers me. So much, that I'll admit I often just ditch the washing altogether. So there.

levite · 06-09-2009, 06:20 AM

I definitely agree, no conversations should be struck up in the men's room, although conversations with friends begun outside the men's room can, IMO, be continued, although in subdued tones. I am also not a fan of cellphone usage in there: nothing is weirder than hearing some guy talking loudly to himself while he craps, except maybe said guy cheerfully telling his caller where he is and what he is doing.

As for other, "natural" noises: my feeling is, public or not, it's a bathroom. Farty or juicy noises are often unavoidable, and it's a bit ridiculous to try not to make them. On the other hand, there should be no audible grunting, straining, sighs of relief, or exclamations of relief, joy, impatience, or frustration; and certainly no invocation of deity.

I would say, incidentally, that public bathrooms are for excretion/urination and hand-washing only: just because the stall doors close and lock doesn't mean it's okay to crank one out in there.

And finally, yes, I agree that whatever one may do at home, one should at least make an honest pretense of hand-washing in public bathrooms.

nomcat · 06-09-2009, 06:49 AM

I guarantee that my dick is cleaner than anything I could touch in a public restroom, so unless I take a dump I won't wash my hands.

Conversation at the urinal is ok, as long as you know the person you're talking to and you don't make eye contact.

Randerolf · 06-09-2009, 06:53 AM

How exactly does the silencer attach to the anus?

Butt seriously, it's a toilet, not a nice-nice. It's why people go there. Don't hold a meeting. Don't sing. Shit and leave.

Also, wash your hands or you will AIDS and swine flu.

The face-conscious have started masking their sounds digitally instead of with water flushes to save water.

Quote:

White noise in bathrooms -- what a concept! As I was sitting in a stall at the Hiroshima Peace Museum, too depressed and traumatized to even think about pooping, I noticed a strange little box on the wall of the stall, like a small intercom. I pressed the button, and lo and behold, a noise of rushing water emanated from the little speaker and lasted several seconds. So civilized, these Japanese. According to the DK guide, there are even some panels which play a merry little tune "to discreetly mask natural noises." Every American bathroom should have one of these, especially at work.

Wrexify · 06-09-2009, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by levite

As for other, "natural" noises: my feeling is, public or not, it's a bathroom. Farty or juicy noises are often unavoidable, and it's a bit ridiculous to try not to make them. On the other hand, there should be no audible grunting, straining, sighs of relief, or exclamations of relief, joy, impatience, or frustration; and certainly no invocation of deity.

Haha, yes some noises simply can't be avoided, but I definitely make an effort to minimize them. Grunts, sighs, and other exclamations are commonplace in the bathroom in my office... It's like it's company policy or something. That, and you always hear someone typing away on a laptop or BlackBerry in the stalls.

I must admit that I sometimes go for the quick hand washing (sans soap) if all I touch while I'm in there is my fly zipper. I don't think it's too germ-infested.

That white noise idea is excellent. If there was just some light music or something in there, maybe it would cover the bodily symphony that my co-workers enjoy so much.

kramus · 06-09-2009, 07:22 AM

Someone posted this elsewhere in the past - didn't spot it so here it is again.

YouTube - Urinal

squeeeb · 06-09-2009, 10:37 AM

i'm not a fan of someone talking to me while i'm standing there, dick in hand, peeing.

i try not to poop in public places because inevitably, i think about how funny it would be if i started laughing, because other people would hear me in a stall laughing and think "what the fuck is that guy doing in there?" and that is hilarious to me, so i start laughing, and i have to try to disguise it as a cough, but i know people know i'm laughing, and it makes it funnier, and its a vicious cycle, a self fulfilling prophecy of embarrassment.

06-09-2009, 05:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
Wrexify Crazy Location: Kramerica	Public Restroom Behavior So this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately and I'm curious to hear your opinions. How are we supposed to act in a public restroom scenario? It seems that there are some unwritten codes of conduct that I'm unaware of. Personally, I don't want anyone to strike up a conversation with me when I'm standing at a urinal. I'm apparently in the minority here... Every day I overhear lengthy, personal conversations started when both parties have their dicks out. Can't it wait at least until we're washing our hands? Another thing that kills me is when I hear a guy in the stall next to me unleashing a torrent of sound and fury upon the world. I try to be as ninja-like as possible in avoiding embarrassing noises but again, I seem to be the only one who feels this way. Apparently, the goal is to be as orchestral as possible when taking care of business. So what do you think? Am I way out in left field? Do I think about stupid shit (pun intended) like this too much? Do you not care? I'd like to hear from some ladies, too. Are your experiences in the public restroom similar? I like to imagine that ladies' rooms are like VIP lounges: leather couches, free drinks, everyone having a good time, and not the disgusting sewer that is the average men's room. __________________ "Nitwit! Oddment! Blubber! Tweak!"

06-09-2009, 05:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	But seriously: conversations should be kept to a minimum, cellphones are right out. If you can't keep it down while in the stall, you should probably see a doctor and/or a nutritionist. Do you want to know the issue I have? I think I'm in the minority of people who washes my hands. Very few people do, and many who do use the tap are only pretending. They get their hands wet and then leave. I have an issue with this because everyone touches the same handle to get out of the washroom that I do. Ew. And if your hands are wet (instead of actually washed), it's even worse. That water is an awesome transmitter of whatever you failed to wash off your hands. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

06-09-2009, 06:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
levite Minion of Joss Location: The Windy City	I definitely agree, no conversations should be struck up in the men's room, although conversations with friends begun outside the men's room can, IMO, be continued, although in subdued tones. I am also not a fan of cellphone usage in there: nothing is weirder than hearing some guy talking loudly to himself while he craps, except maybe said guy cheerfully telling his caller where he is and what he is doing. As for other, "natural" noises: my feeling is, public or not, it's a bathroom. Farty or juicy noises are often unavoidable, and it's a bit ridiculous to try not to make them. On the other hand, there should be no audible grunting, straining, sighs of relief, or exclamations of relief, joy, impatience, or frustration; and certainly no invocation of deity. I would say, incidentally, that public bathrooms are for excretion/urination and hand-washing only: just because the stall doors close and lock doesn't mean it's okay to crank one out in there. And finally, yes, I agree that whatever one may do at home, one should at least make an honest pretense of hand-washing in public bathrooms. __________________ Dull sublunary lovers love, Whose soul is sense, cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove That thing which elemented it. (From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

06-09-2009, 06:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
nomcat Twisted Location: UK	I guarantee that my dick is cleaner than anything I could touch in a public restroom, so unless I take a dump I won't wash my hands. Conversation at the urinal is ok, as long as you know the person you're talking to and you don't make eye contact. __________________ There are many powers in the world, for good or for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming.

06-09-2009, 07:22 AM	#8 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	Someone posted this elsewhere in the past - didn't spot it so here it is again. YouTube - Urinal __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

06-09-2009, 06:14 AM	#3 (permalink)
wooÐs Sitting in a tree Location: Atlanta	I loathe sinks / vanities in public restrooms. They're always puddled up with water. When I go to wash my hands, it never fails that I get that annoying water line where my c-section scar would be if I had a child. Wtf, do women just fling their hands dry after washing? Do I always walk in right after a water balloon fight? It really bothers me. So much, that I'll admit I often just ditch the washing altogether. So there.

06-09-2009, 10:37 AM	#9 (permalink)
squeeeb part of the problem Location: hic et ubique	i'm not a fan of someone talking to me while i'm standing there, dick in hand, peeing. i try not to poop in public places because inevitably, i think about how funny it would be if i started laughing, because other people would hear me in a stall laughing and think "what the fuck is that guy doing in there?" and that is hilarious to me, so i start laughing, and i have to try to disguise it as a cough, but i know people know i'm laughing, and it makes it funnier, and its a vicious cycle, a self fulfilling prophecy of embarrassment. __________________ onward to mayhem!