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Old 10-15-2004, 02:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Help with research on marriage

Hello everyone,

I am currently working on a group project in my communications class. We are we are doing research on why there has been such an increase in divorce. Each of us has been assigned a certain topic to research and write a paper on.

In my opinion, people treat marriage like a broken TV. If it is broken, throw it away. Now, I need to find some information on this, and so far I haven't been as sucessful as I would like. If anyone can provide some information on this, or some personal insight, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks so much!
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Old 10-16-2004, 12:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
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The ability to make money
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Old 10-16-2004, 04:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Look into monogamy and mammals.....very insightful information concerning the traits of simian species and the likelyhood of lifetime mating. I would also consider the effects of enlightenment on civil society, and the slow death of organized religion.
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Old 10-16-2004, 06:25 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Television has raised a generation or two on "sound bites", and you only get to see the "exciting stuff" not the entire backstory. Marriage isn't all about sound bites, it's the day to day boring stuff, doing laundry, doing the dishes, etc. It's a generation or two of people, perhaps fed by the flashiness of music videos, that want everything to be exciting...

These don't back up my opinion, but they might give you some help
http://www.datingmatchmakers.com/wed...e-failure.aspx
http://www.datingmatchmakers.com/wed...honeymoon.aspx
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Old 10-16-2004, 05:25 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I agree with you mal. I think that this generation also does not hard work - making a relationship work is hard. I think getting married later is a positive thing, however. It helps make this slightly easier.

I think the media portrayal of celebrities who get divorced faster than most of us take a bath also does not help.
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Old 10-18-2004, 08:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
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thanks so far, you guys have been helpful.. anything else that anyone can come up with would be good.. i'm also looking in great depth for information on why people let a marriage fail. because of the lack of willingness to work it out? or people's inability to accept changes?
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Old 10-18-2004, 09:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Letting a marriage fail I think is the perfect choice of words. When you let something happen, you do nothing to prevent it. That you aren't being proactive. It's probably more that people aren't willing to work at the day to day things - then eventually that escalates into the huge things.

Lack of communication

Not on the same path of change. People change as they grow older, the things they believed or thought were important when they were in their 20s, may not be the same things that they thing they believe in their 30s and 40s -- having two people change together -- on the same path - or be accepting of the changes in each other - -might be a litte rare.

Quitting is easy... Back in the 50s and 60s -- a person would get a job, and stay with that company most of their life. They'd do the same thing with a wife, because it was expected. (Divorce was a word that was whispered) Now being divorced is no big deal, staying with a company for 25 + years is rare, people beleive that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence --whether it be a job or a relationship...
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Old 10-20-2004, 09:13 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Divorce is a direct result of increased womens rights. Women had a hard time divorcing 50 years ago. In Asia it is still a bit like that, women have to take a lot of #$#@$# to justify a divorce. many just seperate but still have the honor of being married. Being unwed, female, and > 27 years old is a real issue in China.
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Old 10-20-2004, 10:05 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I can give you a first person point of view. I am going through a divorce presently. I have been married 20 years. Without going into specific details I can tell you that I nor my husband have failed this marriage. It is a situation of 2 ppl who can no longer stay together. Reasons...there are several. Change being one of those reasons. I've seen people stay in relationships solely because it is the 'right' thing to do. They are very unhappy people. Please until you've walked in this situation, don't judge people who are. Thanks and good luck with your research.
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Old 10-27-2004, 08:56 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inharmony
I can give you a first person point of view. I am going through a divorce presently. I have been married 20 years. Without going into specific details I can tell you that I nor my husband have failed this marriage. It is a situation of 2 ppl who can no longer stay together. Reasons...there are several. Change being one of those reasons. I've seen people stay in relationships solely because it is the 'right' thing to do. They are very unhappy people. Please until you've walked in this situation, don't judge people who are. Thanks and good luck with your research.
I also can give a first person point of view. I divorced my first wife after 10 years of marriage. She was/is a wonderful woman and we were high school sweethearts. We weren't miserable and probably wouldn't have been had we had stayed together. I started moving up in my career and traveling a lot. The people I worked with etc,, were more exciting than my old lifestyle. I wanted more passion and excitement in my life and found it along with another woman, we have been married 20 years now.

I am happy now, but I am somewhat ashamed at my lack of commitment to my first marriage. After all I did give my word to love, honor, till death, etc..
I cannot imagine my father or grandfather being so spineless as to not honor their word. I guess I and others in my generation do not have the integrity our forefathers had. Would I be as happy today if I stayed in that first marriage? Probably not, but I wish I had been wise enough to not give those vows that I would later break. A man is only as good as his word, etc...

I guess for the purposes of your study you should look for reasons why there is such a lack of commitment in our society today in all walks of life. For example, I was just laid off after 21 years with the same company. New management took over and cleaned house of all the higher paid older workers. This sort of thing was rare not too many years ago.
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