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Originally Posted by inharmony
I can give you a first person point of view. I am going through a divorce presently. I have been married 20 years. Without going into specific details I can tell you that I nor my husband have failed this marriage. It is a situation of 2 ppl who can no longer stay together. Reasons...there are several. Change being one of those reasons. I've seen people stay in relationships solely because it is the 'right' thing to do. They are very unhappy people. Please until you've walked in this situation, don't judge people who are. Thanks and good luck with your research.
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I also can give a first person point of view. I divorced my first wife after 10 years of marriage. She was/is a wonderful woman and we were high school sweethearts. We weren't miserable and probably wouldn't have been had we had stayed together. I started moving up in my career and traveling a lot. The people I worked with etc,, were more exciting than my old lifestyle. I wanted more passion and excitement in my life and found it along with another woman, we have been married 20 years now.
I am happy now, but I am somewhat ashamed at my lack of commitment to my first marriage. After all I did give my word to love, honor, till death, etc..
I cannot imagine my father or grandfather being so spineless as to not honor their word. I guess I and others in my generation do not have the integrity our forefathers had. Would I be as happy today if I stayed in that first marriage? Probably not, but I wish I had been wise enough to not give those vows that I would later break. A man is only as good as his word, etc...
I guess for the purposes of your study you should look for reasons why there is such a lack of commitment in our society today in all walks of life. For example, I was just laid off after 21 years with the same company. New management took over and cleaned house of all the higher paid older workers. This sort of thing was rare not too many years ago.