batm4n_23

i like all those jokes

mo42

A man comes back to his apartment and finds evidence that while he was gone, his wife was engaged in an extramarital romp. In fact, the man's cigar smoke is still in the air. So the man rushes to the window to see if he can catch a glimpse of the offending male, and sure enough, right below his window is a man smoking a cigar waiting for a taxi.

Overcome with rage, the husband lifts his refrigerator off the ground, carries it to the window, and drops it on the man below. He then dies of a heart attack.

Three men approach St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter decides to start out by asking each man how he died.

The first man says "I was minding my own business when I was hit by a falling refrigerator"

The second man says "I died from the exertion of lifting and carrying a refrigerator"

The third man says "Well, I was hiding in this refrigerator and..."

jrfoster01

This is the funniest joke ive heard in a VERY long time :I

ragns

What do you get when you breed a bunny rabbit with an elephant?

A dead bunny split in half

skier

hahahahhahaha love that one ragns

__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

yster

stupid, but funny when in the right mood-

Knock Knock
-
Who's There?
-
Argo!
-
Argo Who?
-
Arrr-go fuck yourself!

cameroncrazy822

CYNTHETIQ EDITED BECAUSE OF STUPIDITY

Any points for perseverance MODE?

ryfo

Wht has the U S S Enterprise and kleenex have in common? They both circle uranus in search of cling-ons!!!! Cracks me up every time...lol

kellererd

What's better than winning a silver medal in the Special Olympics?






Not being retarded.

Cynthetiq

NO.

You've been asked to stop once, please don't push the envelope.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

ruggles

im offended by retarded jokes.

im offended by all these jokes.

whatever happened to good ol' chicken jokes?

or dead chicken jokes.

wnker85

My favorite, not counting the sig.

A flasher is walking in central park and see to old women sitting on a bench, so he exposes himself.

One has a stroke. The other couldn't reach

munchen

Not sure why but this is one of my favourite jokes
Two men are talking over a backyard fence

Man 1: My dog has no nose


Man 2: How does he smell?


MAn 1: Terrible

__________________
"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun" -Matt Groening

sgn43

I'm not absolutely certain, but I think this joke originated from Monty Python. They had this big sketch based around it, and the joke itself is really funny but the skit just made it awesome. It's a bit foggy now, but I think it had something to do with scientists developing the world's funniest joke, and then them actually using it during wars to disengage the enemy. ehh, I might be totally wrong, but at least the hazy memory in my head is still pretty funny.


Of all the imaginary friends I've had, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill.

__________________
To be great is to be misunderstood. -Emerson

TheWalkinDude

It was that sketch; it was something about past attempts to create the funniest joke. We cut to Hitler giving a speech to a crowd. The dog with no nose joke is put in in the subtitles.

munchen

Yeah! thats right i remember now. they found the funniest joke in the world and it would cause people to die laughing. one guy read three words and was in hospital for a month. lol

__________________
"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun" -Matt Groening

caz

What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for christmas?






Cancer

dobster

Oh Dear, caz. That be a repost.

__________________
sig-na-ture
1. One's name as written by oneself.
2. The act of signing one's name.
3. A distinctive mark, characteristic, or sound indicating identity.

qtpye4u84

It went something like this(don't remember)

Q) Why don't people want to go to a gay BBQ ?

A) Because the hot dogs always taste like shit.

__________________
The QTpie

BlitzkriegKommt

Please don't get offended by this.

Q. Why did Hitler commit suicide.
A. Because he saw his gas bill.