Captain Nemo

The Difference Between The Liberal and Conservative "Debate" Over The War On Crime:

Question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!


Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... RELOAD!!!!!

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!"

Marburg

"Nice grouping"
oh the horror!

Very humourous indeed.

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tfpfreak

Now thats what I'm talking about!!!
BANG! BANG! BANG! click... RELOAD!!!!

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NoSoup

lol, gotta love the reloading...

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Just in case you were wondering...

unoaman

I would have thought that being a Texan, he would be packin a 6 shooter...None the less, that was a good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good one!

braindamage351

I'd have gone for the legs if I was an expert marksman...

Acetylene

I agree, the legs, then you can make his life a living hell. Judgement is too important to be left to God.

ahh, but it doesn't specify WHERE you're shooting, does it? Just says "bang."

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analog

......huh?

Blonddie

Very funny!

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hrdwareguy

Going for the legs is the wrong thing to do if you are an expert marksman. This would leave the guy alive and then he would be able to sue you for medical, pain and suffering, loss of income and potentially rehab and future loss of income. As well as, since you are an expert marksman, you could be charged with maiming him. You were the victom, but now the justice system has turned it around and he is the victom. Just shoot him....shoot him dead.

Now to get back on topic...great joke.

/me copies and pasts it into an email to forward around.

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Kazic

hahahah thats hilarious.

Yeah it sounds bad. But the unfortunate thing is if you didn't kill him he would make a mockery of the justice sys. Read the http://www.stellaawards.com/2002.html.

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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

KirStang

"Nice grouping daddy!"

Hahaha, that just did it for me

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