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Captain Nemo 08-05-2004 09:26 AM

What are you
 
The Difference Between The Liberal and Conservative "Debate" Over The War On Crime:

Question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!


Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... RELOAD!!!!!

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!"

Marburg 08-05-2004 10:54 AM

"Nice grouping"
oh the horror!

Very humourous indeed.

tfpfreak 08-05-2004 11:12 AM

Now thats what I'm talking about!!!
BANG! BANG! BANG! click... RELOAD!!!!

NoSoup 08-05-2004 11:29 AM

lol, gotta love the reloading...

unoaman 08-05-2004 11:36 AM

I would have thought that being a Texan, he would be packin a 6 shooter...None the less, that was a good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good one!

braindamage351 08-05-2004 11:09 PM

I'd have gone for the legs if I was an expert marksman...

Acetylene 08-06-2004 03:20 PM

I agree, the legs, then you can make his life a living hell. Judgement is too important to be left to God.

ahh, but it doesn't specify WHERE you're shooting, does it? Just says "bang."

analog 08-06-2004 04:05 PM

......huh?

Blonddie 08-09-2004 06:55 AM

Very funny!

hrdwareguy 08-09-2004 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by braindamage351
I'd have gone for the legs if I was an expert marksman...
Going for the legs is the wrong thing to do if you are an expert marksman. This would leave the guy alive and then he would be able to sue you for medical, pain and suffering, loss of income and potentially rehab and future loss of income. As well as, since you are an expert marksman, you could be charged with maiming him. You were the victom, but now the justice system has turned it around and he is the victom. Just shoot him....shoot him dead.

Now to get back on topic...great joke.

/me copies and pasts it into an email to forward around.

Kazic 08-09-2004 09:52 AM

hahahah thats hilarious.

Yeah it sounds bad. But the unfortunate thing is if you didn't kill him he would make a mockery of the justice sys. Read the http://www.stellaawards.com/2002.html.

KirStang 08-09-2004 06:11 PM

"Nice grouping daddy!"

Hahaha, that just did it for me :lol:


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