Cervantes

Every year there was a contest for the dirtiest limerick, and every year John had won. After a while, he just stopped attending the party where the winner was announced and just waited for the phone call letting him know of his success. One year, it was past the time when the announcement was usually made and he had heard nothing, so he called the judge. He was told that this year, Jim had even a dirtier limerick than he had. So John decided he had to hear this limerick and called Jim. Jim said he couldn't repeat his limerick over the phone because it was so obscene. John said "Listen I'm familiar with these things. Just say 'da-da' for the words that are too obscene. I'll be able to figure it out." Jim told him that there were lots of obscene words, and it might be difficult, but John assured him that it would be okay. So Jim read him the limerick:


Da-da da-da da-da,
Da-da da-da da-da,
Da-da da-da,
Da-da da-da,
Da-da da-da mother-fucker.

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- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.."
- "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong."
- "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

Scipio

hehe, good one

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"Erections lasting more than 4 hours, though rare, require immediate medical attention."

small one

Very good

tekaweni

hahaha great, makes you wonder what could be more obscene!

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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

Silverbrain

nice one )

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Over Thinking, Over Analyzing
Seperates the Body from the Mind - MJK

Moobie

Here's another version of this that I heard.

A radio station decided to hold this limerick contest for who could come up with the dirtiest limerick and they were going to have the winner read the limerick out loud. Finally, they got the winner of this filthy limerick. Turns out it was this nun in Ireland who had written the limerick. So, they went out to Ireland to find her at her convent. They said, "You've won the contest... You're going to have to read it out loud."

She said, "Oh, no...I couldn't possibly read it!"

They're, like, "Well, we really need you to."

She says, "Oh, no! I couldn't!"

They say, "Why don't you just omit the dirty parts and read the clean parts?"

She says, "OK. That I can do!"

So, she gets up there... "D-dee D-dee D-dee. D-dee D-dee D-dee. D-dee D-dee. D-dee. D-dee... and then they fucked in a river of shit!"

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Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.

We like money. Give us your money you stupid consumer whore.

icy_ca

Issac Asimov was a huge fan of the limerick. I'll see if I can dig out his book and post a select couple.
But these I liked.

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After all is said and done,
more is said than done.