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Old 07-11-2003, 04:30 PM   #121 (permalink)
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Location: Everywhere, Simultaniously
lol, i do the same thing sometimes. I go on chat, and i say anyone wanna cyber, then i ask if they wanna roleplay, most of the time they say yeah, and then I just make believe its D&D
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Old 07-11-2003, 06:56 PM   #122 (permalink)
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Location: Denver, CO
I haven't laughed this hard in weeks! Esp. the thing about the pizza!
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Old 07-12-2003, 02:14 PM   #123 (permalink)
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Location: Dallas
You guys should try baiting.org
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Old 07-12-2003, 05:47 PM   #124 (permalink)
_-_---_-_
 
omg those are the funniest things i ever read, i couldnt stop laughing
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Old 07-13-2003, 10:13 PM   #125 (permalink)
 
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Location: Canada
Ah - wonderful compendium... Man I read these at work - and I have to talk to customers on the phone... I was laughing so hard it's a wonder I didn't get fired.
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Old 07-13-2003, 11:05 PM   #126 (permalink)
Insane
 
That turkey one is a riot. Great stuff.
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Old 07-28-2003, 10:36 PM   #127 (permalink)
Crazy
 
this shit had me pissing myself. great stuff
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Old 07-28-2003, 10:54 PM   #128 (permalink)
I'm a pepper bitch..
 
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that was fucking halarious
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Old 07-31-2003, 06:34 AM   #129 (permalink)
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I just keep coming back to read these... must find more...
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Old 07-31-2003, 10:57 PM   #130 (permalink)
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Location: Atlanta, GA
Damn that shit is great. That wizard hat line really got me going, that's genius.
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Old 07-31-2003, 11:00 PM   #131 (permalink)
Eccentric insomniac
 
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Location: North Carolina
I think we need to make new tfp shirts w/ the logo on one side and a wizard hat on the other.
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Old 08-01-2003, 01:22 PM   #132 (permalink)
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Location: Georgia
that shit is funny, lol I can't believe that. I've never laughed so hard.
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Old 08-01-2003, 04:52 PM   #133 (permalink)
Upright
 
good one
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Old 08-01-2003, 09:59 PM   #134 (permalink)
Upright
 
bloodninja is my new hero! Cauliflower... I mean I'm a pretty sick fuck but this guy elevates it to the next level! If you can find more please post them!
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Old 08-02-2003, 01:57 AM   #135 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Wally Tries Cybersex

An Instant Message appears across the screen of Wally's computer:

Angel4: Hi. How R U?

Wally: Huh? Who is this?

Angel4: My name's Angel....how r u?

Wally: HEY! I know who this is..one of those hackers trying to get my credit card. Stop Thief! Help!

Angel4: For heaven's sake, I'm not a hacker...

Wally: Oh, sorry. Anyway, I was smart enough after the last time I was ripped off to change my Visa Card number from 6278178965781117 to 6382900986228211

Angel4: Ummmm, okay.................I'm just a girl looking 4 a good time. My name is Angel.

Wally: Angle, that's a pretty name.

Angel4: Thank you..but it's Angel. I like your profile.

Wally: Hey, how can you see my profile. I'm not even turning sideways..HEY! can you see me with one of those sex cams???

Angel4: No, Wally. Not if you don't own one. Um..is Wally your real name, and.. are you over 18?

Wally: I'm 31 (mmpft) but I won't tell you my real name.

Angel4: Why?

Wally: The last woman I chatted with was a psycho and started sending me death threats in the mail.

Angel4: Oh my, that's awful. Is she still stalking you?

Wally: No. Luckily she found someone else with a better credit card rating.

Angel4: Haven't seen u here before. Do u want to get to know me better? I'm 5'5, 120 lbs, 34/24/34.

Wally: What are all those numbers, your phone number??? I'm in Canada - we just have seven digits.

Angel4: Um, no. Those are my measurements. I'm a dancer/actress/model and I work out 4 hours a day.

Wally: You work out? I mostly work inside. I'm a heart surgeon. (mmpft) Don't you sometimes get too cold working outside so much?

Angel4: No, silly! I mean I EXERCISE MY BODY.

Wally: Why don't you get a job loading trucks? It's exercise, and they give you money.

Angel4: Uh... Forget it...So, what do you look like?

Wally: I've been told I look like a cross between Jim Nabors and the guy who lives across the street from my aunt's house.

Angel4: Just a minute, it's very hot in here. Do you mind if I slip off these panties and get more comfortable?

Wally: Ok. I have to go feed my dog while you do that.

Angel4: Sheesh.

Wally: OK I'm back. Sorry I took so long. Hey, what's this file in my computer. HEY, ARE YOU SENDING ME A VIRUS, ANGLE?

Angel4: Calm down, Wally. That's a picture of me. Open it up. It's safe. And my name's Angel.

Wally: No, I better go ask my wife first. I'm not allowed to download anything without her permission..be right back-

Angel4: NO, WALLY! Um..there's no need to show your wife this picture...Just calm down and open it.

Wally: WOW!! WOW!! WOW!!! You look EXACTLY like an old poster I had for years!!!! I swear you look just like Farah Facet Majors without the wrinkles. Did you pose for a poster too???

Angel4: Um.. no, that's just a photo I had taken last week. That's really me, honest... Now will you tell me your real name?

Wally: Well.. um.. I-I-

Angel4: Fine. I'll just start chatting with InTooDeep then..

Wally: WAIT! As long as you are not a stalker. I'm Wally Eastwood and I live at 56 Crown St. in Toronto Canada, Postal Code K6V IV4. But maybe I shouldn't tell you that.

Angel4: Oh, don't worry...you can trust me. I'm taking my silk blouse off, Wally..

Wally: Aren't you worried you'll catch a cold?

Angel4. Well, if you saw me topless right now you would know it's a bit chilly here..

Wally: It gets cold here too at night. My wife won't turn the heater up past 62 degrees and-

Angel4: I'm getting really hot, Wally.

Wally: Make up your mind, you just said you were cold.

Angel4: Tell me what you are wearing.

Wally: I'm wearing blue boxer shorts and a Bart Simpson Tee Shirt.

Angel4: Why don't you take off your shirt for me, Wally..

Wally: WHY? It's a really funny one with Bart and this really fat woman and it says "Purple Crack Kills".. Have you seen it? (long, long, pause from Angel4)

Angel4: You know, to tell you the truth I'm a bit busy right now and-

Wally: Did I mention I'm 6' 3" 200 lbs and can bench press 300 pounds? (mmpft)

Angel4: *Perking*

Wally: What.. you're having coffee at this hour????

Angel4: No.. I mean..*wow* meaning.. that sounds just.. mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Wally: OH my God! You spilt your coffee on the keyboard, didn't you? Now your m key is sticking!

Angel4: NO, Wally, for crissakes I'm not having any coffee! I mean MMMMMMMMMM..Like.."I'M EXCITED"..do you get it? Can you possibly freaking keep up here, you putz?

Wally: OH! I GET IT! It's those EMOTICONS! I bought that book INTERNET for MORONS to learn those, but I forgot where I put it-

Angel4: I think I'm getting a migraine.

Wally:But I remember some of them...Let's see: I forget.

Angel4: You have a great sense of humour... Now I'm really getting hot...can u call me, Wally?

Wally: Why would I call you my own name?

Angel4: No...u know.. CALL me..on the phone..

Wally: No, I can't, I'm trying to cut back on my phone bill..but..HEY..WAIT you mean call you for phonesex????

Angel4:: Yeah..It's only $3.99 a minute and I'll bet you have a sexy voice, Wally.

Wally: I tried that phone sex once but I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do with the receiver.

Angel4: *Sigh* Wally, do you want to get off with me or not!?

Wally: Get off? Angle, I just signed on and I have 5 more free hours!! I got this great deal through my phone company and a free phone card and-

Angel4: I MEAN CYBERSEX!!!!

Wally: Wow!!! My wife just left the house,too! I'd like to try that stuff out.

Angel4: Finally!.. Here's a free sample. Now listen carefully.. when you start to get turned on, you type "oooooooooooooo", get it? I'm completely naked now, Wally, and I'm starting to-

Wally: 00000000000000000000000000000000000000

Angel4: This isn't the time to be cracking jokes.

Wally: I'm done. That was great.

Angel4: Are you SERIOUS???

Wally: I get excited easily. I'm sorry, Angle.

Angel4: Jesus, what schmuck. And it's ANGEL, you jerk!!

USER ANGEL14 is no longer online

Wally: Hello? ::clicking keyboard:: HELLO, ANGLE? It says you are no longer online. Tell me if this is true. Hello?
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Old 08-02-2003, 03:42 AM   #136 (permalink)
Crazy
 
hilarious
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Old 08-02-2003, 09:48 AM   #137 (permalink)
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Location: Pussy awp camping
Heh, yeah I read these in a CS forum somewhere...
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Old 08-02-2003, 03:17 PM   #138 (permalink)
jdkash
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omg that shit was funny as hell
 
Old 08-02-2003, 03:38 PM   #139 (permalink)
Banned
 
ehh scary yet funny
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Old 08-03-2003, 12:20 AM   #140 (permalink)
lascivious
 
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That was so FUNNY!

I had to bite a pillow just so I wouldn’t wake up half the neighborhood.

Oh…that was so good…oh god damn it I have hiccups now…
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Old 08-03-2003, 10:27 PM   #141 (permalink)
Tilted
 
thats the funniest thing i have read in a long ass time thanks soo much for those
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:39 PM   #142 (permalink)
Tilted
 

better be careful then
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Old 08-07-2003, 03:56 AM   #143 (permalink)
Transfer Agent
 
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Location: NYC
Yeah -- I remember these from TFP v.3.
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Old 08-07-2003, 05:57 AM   #144 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Right where I want to be.
thats some great stuff
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Old 08-07-2003, 06:52 PM   #145 (permalink)
Banned
 
I, for one, am inspired to delve into a new frontier of mental battle. This person is good. Nice set up, solid punch, Bam! TYFP
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Old 08-07-2003, 07:00 PM   #146 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Australia
What a classic....
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Old 08-07-2003, 08:06 PM   #147 (permalink)
Insane
 
omgggggg... i am fuckn crying i am laughing so harddd..


HHHAAAARRRR!
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Old 08-07-2003, 08:12 PM   #148 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
Meh, the sweet17 one was just mean - the others were funny, though. Sounds like something lowtax would do... (www.somethingawful.com)
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Old 08-07-2003, 09:29 PM   #149 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Murfreesboro
Dude, those logs are absolutely hilarious. First time I have gotten tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. If anyone finds more of these then please post!
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Old 08-07-2003, 10:47 PM   #150 (permalink)
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!
 
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Location: 105B
heh that was enjoyable
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Old 08-08-2003, 02:58 AM   #151 (permalink)
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whahahaha!!!
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Old 08-08-2003, 12:21 PM   #152 (permalink)
Insane
 
Why, oh why, won't this stupid post GO AWAY?!? Fade into oblivion, for the love of God...it was funny, yes, but not that funny...
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Old 03-18-2004, 05:02 AM   #153 (permalink)
Insane
 
Haha these are gold. Whoever made these are a genius.
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Old 04-23-2004, 01:26 PM   #154 (permalink)
No Avatar, No Sig.
 
Quote:
Originally posted by mpedrummer2
Why, oh why, won't this stupid post GO AWAY?!? Fade into oblivion, for the love of God...it was funny, yes, but not that funny...
These are freakin' funny! I was cackling madly while reading them. I hoe they never go away.
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Old 04-23-2004, 04:28 PM   #155 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: england
Quote:
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
This made me spurt cola out of my nose, and for that, i thank you
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Old 04-24-2004, 12:09 AM   #156 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
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Location: Home sweet home
I laughed a little bit too loud...some funny ass stuff you guys got there
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Old 04-26-2004, 08:20 PM   #157 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Louisiana
btw here is the complete list of it i think


http://ender.tog.net/x10/funny/cyber.txt
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Old 04-26-2004, 08:47 PM   #158 (permalink)
Walking is Still Honest
 
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Location: Seattle, WA
The one with the fat girl is too harsh for my tastes. But the pizza one made me literally LAUGH OUT LOUD.
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Old 04-26-2004, 09:29 PM   #159 (permalink)
HLP
Crazy
 
Keep these comming! Man, I also like the chats where they find horny 40 year olds who want to cyber with 14 year olds, sure it sounds gross but when the 14 year old girl turns out to be a 20 year old guy... well that spells classic right there!
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Old 04-28-2004, 06:08 AM   #160 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Tennessee
rofl.. funny shit
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