A perfect example of "why not to cyber" ;) (a MUST see) - Page 5 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Slayer · 04-28-2004, 02:47 PM

LOL I read that in the IGN board.

The "I put on my robe and wizard hat." part is hilarious.

Grondar · 04-28-2004, 02:53 PM

Quote:

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

Simply priceless.

hu-man · 04-29-2004, 01:27 AM

That Wally one was very obviously fake.

jahmdir · 05-03-2004, 12:26 AM

Always a good one

akechi · 05-08-2004, 05:13 AM

Quote:

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

LOL! VERY FUNNY

Dawson70 · 07-21-2004, 11:17 PM

OMG!!! OMG.......that is the funniest shit I have heard in a long time......I woke my kids up from laughing so loud. Thanks....I needed that!

taengland · 07-22-2004, 03:39 AM

funny shit....love a good laugh first thing in the morning....

braindamage351 · 07-22-2004, 04:54 PM

Godly.

94Mobsta · 07-22-2004, 08:29 PM

always good for a laugh. heh

octopus · 07-22-2004, 08:37 PM

Laughing so hard I can barely hit the right keys...

whocarz · 07-23-2004, 04:32 PM

bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.

That made me real hard for a couple minutes.

SitizenVZ · 07-28-2004, 02:36 AM

Hahahaha, that is classic.

Bentley Little · 07-28-2004, 01:20 PM

That is the funniest shit I have read in a long time.

Mantus · 07-28-2004, 08:53 PM

Here is another that I found.

Bigbenny02: hi, a/s/l?
kwazyfwies: hiya 18/f/usa u?
Bigbenny02: wow, 18/m/usa
Bigbenny02: want to cyber?
kwazyfwies: yes
kwazyfwies: you start ok?
Bigbenny02: ok then
Bigbenny02: I slowly advanced towards you, my breathing quickens
kwazyfwies: I'm laying on my bed with just my blouse and nikers on
Bigbenny02: I growl like a sexualy frustrated beast!
kwazyfwies: lol, I ask you to come closer
Bigbenny02: I run across the room and jump on top of you...
kwazyfwies: easy big boy
Bigbenny02: i turn you over, and rub your back slowly
kwazyfwies: mmmm thats nice
Bigbenny02: I pin you down and let loose an evil hissing sound
kwazyfwies: wtf?
Bigbenny02: Surprise! muhahahahahaha, i'm a vampire, and i vant to suck your blood!
kwazyfwies: forget it physco
Bigbenny02: don't you like it like that babyface?
kwazyfwies: no
Bigbenny02: i was only joking! sorry, let me try again
kwazyfwies: ok
Bigbenny02: I gently caress your tender bottem.
kwazyfwies: I moan softly
Bigbenny02: All of a suden I scream loudly, pull apart your arse cheeks, burry my face in the dingle berry encrusted hair mass, and inhale deeply through my nose
kwazyfwies: you sick fuck
Bigbenny02: you smell bad baby, do you wash?
kwazyfwies: bye looser.
Bigbenny02: sorry, its my bad sense of humor, Most people i say it to find it funny?
kwazyfwies: ...i don't
Bigbenny02: I turn you over, and pull out my purple headed warrior
kwazyfwies: its not very big
Bigbenny02: you won't be saying that when it infiltrates your poop tube and rips apart your colon!!!
Bigbenny02: I thrust my pocket rocket at you, and begin humping your leg like a powerful german shepard!
kwazyfwies: don't talk to me ever again
Bigbenny02: I move my hands down to your black triangle of love, somehow managing to wade through the jungle of pubic hair, i find a pink patch...
Bigbenny02: omg. hidden in the hair is a small penis!
kwazyfwies: i'm reporting you...
Bigbenny02: I squeel like a freshly wounded pig at the sight of it.
Bigbenny02: "so thats your dark secret!" i scream, "you sick twisted bitch!"
Bigbenny02: u run away, into the night, crying, the cold wind whipps your naked flesh, i chase after you
Bigbenny02: i drop kick you, and rip off your left leg leaving a small bloody stump. "you aint pretty no more!!!"
kwazyfwies: blocked. looza
Bigbenny02: bye sweet stuff

[update]
Another one.

J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.
Partner8: Who the fuck are you?
J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:
J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me.
J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever.
Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?
J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh.
Partner8: Is that like cancer?
J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.
Partner8: Good one romeo.
J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.
The salmon swim at night.
Towards your room.
The snow and the moon.
Partner8: that was never a haiku.
J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.
Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"
J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then?
Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent.
J-Dogg: ...
Partner8: ?
J-Dogg: I'm spent.

Kazic · 08-01-2004, 08:28 PM

hahah Thats hilarious.

todd · 08-01-2004, 09:19 PM

LMAO Hilarious as hell

Mantus · 08-02-2004, 11:55 AM

Jdogg:Hey
QT-Pie:Hey
Jdogg:whats goin on
QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie:what does that mean?
Jdogg:what are you wearing?
QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg:Garter belt?
QT-Pie:Ummm...no.
Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

VTBrian · 08-02-2004, 12:52 PM

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

When I read that I laughed so hard I peed a little.

basmoq · 08-03-2004, 08:22 AM

read it before, but it's worth reading again

braindamage351 · 08-05-2004, 11:17 PM

Reading this is the best thing I've done in my entire life. I might as well just die now.

Corneo · 08-06-2004, 01:28 PM

Quote:

[i]
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
[/B]

OMG that is gold!

04-28-2004, 02:47 PM	#161 (permalink)
Slayer Insane Location: Brooklyn, NY............. South Of Heaven	LOL I read that in the IGN board. The "I put on my robe and wizard hat." part is hilarious. __________________ "the key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering"

05-03-2004, 12:26 AM	#164 (permalink)
jahmdir Upright Location: In Transition	Always a good one __________________ Darkened amongst the light is the shadow day and night.

07-21-2004, 11:17 PM	#166 (permalink)
Dawson70 Here to Help My Fellow TFP'er Location: All over the Net....(ok Wisconsin)	OMG!!! OMG.......that is the funniest shit I have heard in a long time......I woke my kids up from laughing so loud. Thanks....I needed that! __________________ "I Finally Finished My Goal....You Can Too! Yippie Ki Ya...

07-22-2004, 03:39 AM	#167 (permalink)
taengland Upright Location: right here, can't you see me?	funny shit....love a good laugh first thing in the morning.... __________________ If you're having a bad day, find someone worse off than you and laugh at them....

07-22-2004, 08:37 PM	#170 (permalink)
octopus Upright Location: Nelson, New Zealand	Laughing so hard I can barely hit the right keys... __________________ Error. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

04-29-2004, 01:27 AM	#163 (permalink)
hu-man The one that got away Location: Over the hill and far away	That Wally one was very obviously fake.

07-22-2004, 04:54 PM	#168 (permalink)
braindamage351 Insane	Godly.

07-22-2004, 08:29 PM	#169 (permalink)
94Mobsta Upright Location: San Marcos, CA	always good for a laugh. heh

07-23-2004, 04:32 PM	#171 (permalink)
whocarz Jarhead Location: Colorado	bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. bloodninja: Are you willing? sweet17: What do you need me to do? bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate. That made me real hard for a couple minutes. __________________ If there exists anything mightier than destiny, then it is the courage to face destiny unflinchingly. -Geibel Despise not death, but welcome it, for nature wills it like all else. -Marcus Aurelius Come on, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever? -GySgt. Daniel J. "Dan" Daly

07-28-2004, 02:36 AM	#172 (permalink)
SitizenVZ Tilted	Hahahaha, that is classic.

07-28-2004, 01:20 PM	#173 (permalink)
Bentley Little Insane Location: In my head...	That is the funniest shit I have read in a long time. __________________ That is my 2 cents.

07-28-2004, 08:53 PM	#174 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	Here is another that I found. Bigbenny02: hi, a/s/l? kwazyfwies: hiya 18/f/usa u? Bigbenny02: wow, 18/m/usa Bigbenny02: want to cyber? kwazyfwies: yes kwazyfwies: you start ok? Bigbenny02: ok then Bigbenny02: I slowly advanced towards you, my breathing quickens kwazyfwies: I'm laying on my bed with just my blouse and nikers on Bigbenny02: I growl like a sexualy frustrated beast! kwazyfwies: lol, I ask you to come closer Bigbenny02: I run across the room and jump on top of you... kwazyfwies: easy big boy Bigbenny02: i turn you over, and rub your back slowly kwazyfwies: mmmm thats nice Bigbenny02: I pin you down and let loose an evil hissing sound kwazyfwies: wtf? Bigbenny02: Surprise! muhahahahahaha, i'm a vampire, and i vant to suck your blood! kwazyfwies: forget it physco Bigbenny02: don't you like it like that babyface? kwazyfwies: no Bigbenny02: i was only joking! sorry, let me try again kwazyfwies: ok Bigbenny02: I gently caress your tender bottem. kwazyfwies: I moan softly Bigbenny02: All of a suden I scream loudly, pull apart your arse cheeks, burry my face in the dingle berry encrusted hair mass, and inhale deeply through my nose kwazyfwies: you sick fuck Bigbenny02: you smell bad baby, do you wash? kwazyfwies: bye looser. Bigbenny02: sorry, its my bad sense of humor, Most people i say it to find it funny? kwazyfwies: ...i don't Bigbenny02: I turn you over, and pull out my purple headed warrior kwazyfwies: its not very big Bigbenny02: you won't be saying that when it infiltrates your poop tube and rips apart your colon!!! Bigbenny02: I thrust my pocket rocket at you, and begin humping your leg like a powerful german shepard! kwazyfwies: don't talk to me ever again Bigbenny02: I move my hands down to your black triangle of love, somehow managing to wade through the jungle of pubic hair, i find a pink patch... Bigbenny02: omg. hidden in the hair is a small penis! kwazyfwies: i'm reporting you... Bigbenny02: I squeel like a freshly wounded pig at the sight of it. Bigbenny02: "so thats your dark secret!" i scream, "you sick twisted bitch!" Bigbenny02: u run away, into the night, crying, the cold wind whipps your naked flesh, i chase after you Bigbenny02: i drop kick you, and rip off your left leg leaving a small bloody stump. "you aint pretty no more!!!" kwazyfwies: blocked. looza Bigbenny02: bye sweet stuff [update] Another one. J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet. Partner8: Who the fuck are you? J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion: J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me. J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever. Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me? J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh. Partner8: Is that like cancer? J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy. Partner8: Good one romeo. J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku. The salmon swim at night. Towards your room. The snow and the moon. Partner8: that was never a haiku. J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness. Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku" J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then? Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent. J-Dogg: ... Partner8: ? J-Dogg: I'm spent. Last edited by Mantus; 07-30-2004 at 01:36 PM..

08-01-2004, 08:28 PM	#175 (permalink)
Kazic Psycho Location: Fortress of Solitude	hahah Thats hilarious. __________________ "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

08-01-2004, 09:19 PM	#176 (permalink)
todd Addict Location: Chicago	LMAO Hilarious as hell

08-02-2004, 11:55 AM	#177 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	Jdogg:Hey QT-Pie:Hey Jdogg:whats goin on QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you? Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber? QT-Pie:what does that mean? Jdogg:what are you wearing? QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans. Jdogg:Garter belt? QT-Pie:Ummm...no. Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not? QT-Pie: uh, okay. Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this. Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here. QT-Pie: WHAT?! Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan. Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg. Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play. QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go. Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back. QT-Pie: A stripe? Jdogg: I need a sandwich. QT-Pie: You're a freak. Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

08-02-2004, 12:52 PM	#178 (permalink)
VTBrian Tilted Location: Blacksburg, VA	j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. When I read that I laughed so hard I peed a little.

08-03-2004, 08:22 AM	#179 (permalink)
basmoq It's a girly girl! Location: OH, USA	read it before, but it's worth reading again __________________ "There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them."

08-05-2004, 11:17 PM	#180 (permalink)
braindamage351 Insane	Reading this is the best thing I've done in my entire life. I might as well just die now.