Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-19-2003, 12:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
Tilted
 
10 Reasons Why Computers Are Better Than Girlfriends

More humor from my email box.....


10 Reasons Why Computers Are Better Than Girlfriends

1. You wouldn't bother to play Strip Poker all night with a girlfriend.
2. No girlfriend can hold your undivided attention for 30 hours in a stretch.
3. Your computer never wants to be taken out for dinner.
4. Your computer doesn't mind if you are unshaved, haven't showered this week or are sitting by it in your underwear.
5. If a computer gets a virus, it can be cleaned away.
6. No matter how ugly your computer is, you can show it to your friends.
7. With a computer, you can press the buttons without it getting sore.
8. A computer doesn't mind you using other computers as well.
9. You will never find your computer in bed with your best friend.
10. Computers never, EVER gets a period.
__________________
I wasn't There
I Didn't Do it
You Don't know me
MyFakeAccount is offline  
Old 04-19-2003, 12:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Dallas, TX
10. Computers never, EVER gets a period.

Gahahahahaa
__________________
It won't give up, it wants me dead, god damn this voice inside my head.
fracturedmind is offline  
Old 04-19-2003, 01:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
Tilted
 
LMAO

10. is the only reason i need
__________________
Never trust anything that bleeds for 6 days and doesn't die
Cursive is offline  
Old 04-19-2003, 09:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
MexicanOnABike's Avatar
 
Location: up north
hehehe...

upgrading your computer doesnt cost as much as upgrading a girlfriend...

if your computer gets old, u can get a new one!...
__________________
MexicanOnABike is offline  
Old 04-19-2003, 11:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
Banned
 
amen!

at LAN parties, you can pass them around and not feel guilty about it.
XHydralisk is offline  
Old 04-20-2003, 09:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
loganmule's Avatar
 
Location: midwest
we could probably think of lots of others, but this is a good start
loganmule is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 08:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
Psycho
 
You can have two computers at once,
and whenever you want them to, they'll
play with each other.

If your computer isn't pleasing you, you
can give it a good whack.

You can order a computer with as many
female connectors as you want (in multiple
shapes and sizes).

Turning on a computer just takes one finger
and a few seconds. In fact, you can leave it
turned on 24/7 and it will always be hot and
ready to use.

But the BEST reason a computer is better
than a girlfriend:

No voice.
TwoToTango is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 09:22 AM   #8 (permalink)
We're having potato pancakes!
 
hotzot's Avatar
 
Location: stalag 13
good reasons!
__________________
The Bully Boys are here!
hotzot is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 09:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Columbus, OH
OMG... *LOL* I'm trying to decide if I should show these to my wife or not.... any thoughts?
Willowsr is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 12:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
Psycho
 
forgotten_dream's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Willowsr
OMG... *LOL* I'm trying to decide if I should show these to my wife or not.... any thoughts?
*LOL* I dunno willowsr, that sounds like asking for trouble.
__________________
"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."
forgotten_dream is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 12:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Willowsr
OMG... *LOL* I'm trying to decide if I should show these to my wife or not.... any thoughts?
You'd better not -- because there's a similar
list of why computers are better than men.

For example: computers can stay up for
days at a time.
TwoToTango is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 02:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
forgotten_dream's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally posted by TwoToTango
You'd better not -- because there's a similar
list of why computers are better than men.

For example: computers can stay up for
days at a time.
Hey, I resent that! I can (and do) stay up for several days at a time.
__________________
"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."
forgotten_dream is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 05:03 PM   #13 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: British Columbia
I like them. Good post
RenegadeSoul is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 05:50 PM   #14 (permalink)
Addict
 
11. all it takes to turn a computer on is the puch of a button
zfleebin is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 08:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
Psycho
 
soopafreek's Avatar
 
Location: ask your mom
computers bring pr0n. girlfriends don't.
__________________
aaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!
soopafreek is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 08:40 PM   #16 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Australia
im still not sure i like the idea of sticking my wang into the disk drive or something
__________________
The above thoughts are not necessarily the thoughts of this user.
pazza is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 09:01 PM   #17 (permalink)
Banned
 
Quote:
Originally posted by pazza
im still not sure i like the idea of sticking my wang into the disk drive or something
http://www.fu-fme.com/
XHydralisk is offline  
Old 04-21-2003, 11:12 PM   #18 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
Sion's Avatar
 
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
"10. Computers never, EVER gets a period."

one word: BSOD
__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
Sion is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 04:16 AM   #19 (permalink)
Insane
 
Nice
__________________
Do you want to ride in the Batmobile?
BatmanMan is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 04:18 AM   #20 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Arizona
Awesome reasons. I wish I could think of a couple but work has got me tied up.
__________________
"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life." -Peter Gibbons, Office Space
zizdog69 is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 04:35 AM   #21 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Pennsylvania
whats up

nice post, I like the last one for sure


laaaataaaaaa
__________________
"I AM TAKING OFF LIKE UNDERWEAR IN AN ORGY!"
scooter is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 04:44 AM   #22 (permalink)
Insane
 
man, that's too funny...Gotta love no periods!
fizzledorf is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 05:17 AM   #23 (permalink)
Psycho
 
zaiaz's Avatar
 
Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.
I love my computers...had a wife once...left me because of my computers.
__________________
Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...
zaiaz is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 05:46 AM   #24 (permalink)
Upright
 
LOL...Good stuff.
wmuhist is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 05:47 AM   #25 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Daval's Avatar
 
Location: The True North Strong and Free!
grin, funny stuff, thanks
__________________
"It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it."
Winston Churchill
Daval is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 07:27 AM   #26 (permalink)
Upright
 
ah me, techie humor
rock1414 is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 07:37 AM   #27 (permalink)
Darth Papa
 
ratbastid's Avatar
 
Location: Yonder
Try reformatting your girlfriend! Or reinstalling her! See how far <i>that</i> gets you!
ratbastid is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 08:56 AM   #28 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Belgium
like it :-)
__________________
Let's GO
Cuball is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 09:01 AM   #29 (permalink)
Poo-tee-weet?
 
JStrider's Avatar
 
Location: The Woodlands, TX
goodstuff...
__________________
-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto
JStrider is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 11:38 AM   #30 (permalink)
Psycho
 
good one
Zesty is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 12:00 PM   #31 (permalink)
Crazy
 
awesome
shield2057 is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 12:42 PM   #32 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Pullman, WA
LoL... funny stuff... I would still rather have a girlfriend over a computer any day... But these jokes a pretty good.
__________________
Go Cougs!
~WSU~
GremlinDelirium is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 03:48 PM   #33 (permalink)
Psycho
 
opentocomments's Avatar
 
Location: St. Louis
ya computers dont get u farther then your right (or left) hand
__________________
How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?
opentocomments is offline  
Old 04-22-2003, 04:37 PM   #34 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Vincennes, IN
Quote:
Originally posted by XHydralisk
http://www.fu-fme.com/
Thats hilarious!! And yet incredibly freaky...
__________________
Sorry, you can not add yourself to your own list.
Zello is offline  
Old 09-22-2003, 07:21 AM   #35 (permalink)
Psycho
 
neoinoakleys's Avatar
 
Location: Michigan
Oh, Nice list....:-)
__________________
It's My Duty to Please That Booty!!
neoinoakleys is offline  
Old 09-22-2003, 12:08 PM   #36 (permalink)
Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind
 
mystmarimatt's Avatar
 
Location: Oreegawn
that's so sad...but so funny
__________________
Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.
mystmarimatt is offline  
Old 09-22-2003, 09:26 PM   #37 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Yakima, WA
Bwahaha! Very funny stuff.

Quote:
Originally posted by XHydralisk
http://www.fu-fme.com/
Man, that's very... unique. I love the 3D pictures they have. I'd be curious to see this in action, really... Seeing a guy fuck his computer just seems to funny.
CapnWaffle is offline  
Old 09-22-2003, 10:49 PM   #38 (permalink)
2+2=5? Not again!
 
MichaelFarker's Avatar
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
Thanks for the chuckles.

I'd like to contribute, so I made some up.
1.) Your computer will ride in your lap on an airplane.
2.) Your computer is always ready to play a new game.
3.) If you watch tv while you play with your computer, it won't complain that you're "distracted".
4.) You should be proud of upgrading to a newer one every year.
5.) A hot computer is always ready to show off for your friends.
6.) You can yell at your computer and get sympathy from other people.
7.) Your computer can blow itself - all day long.
MichaelFarker is offline  
Old 09-23-2003, 01:17 AM   #39 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: chocolate city
Computers are easier to boot
bravo49 is offline  
Old 09-23-2003, 03:40 PM   #40 (permalink)
Crazy
 
One of my favorites.
__________________
If life gives you lemons...throw them at someone.
EeOh1 is offline  
 

Tags
computers, girlfriends, reasons


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:07 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360