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07-30-2003, 08:27 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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The Griffin
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Politically Correctives...
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT - 2003 VERSION
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. 2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. 3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. 4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION HIGHWAY. 5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. 6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED. 7. She does not get DRUNK OR TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. 8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED. 9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE. 10. She is not a SL-T - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. 11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PICTORIALLY SUPERIOR. 12. She is not a TWO-BIT WH0RE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER. HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT 1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. 2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He suffers from OPPOSING FOOT DISORDER. 3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. 4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. 5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - he has GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS. 6. He does not get FALLING DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. 7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION. 8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG -He has SWINE EMPATHY. 9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED. 10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. 11. It is not his CRACK you see hanging out of his pants - It is REAR CLEAVAGE. |
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07-30-2003, 04:25 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Eccentric insomniac
Location: North Carolina
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Good job, that's hilarious
thanks
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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence |
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07-30-2003, 08:29 PM
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#5 (permalink) | |
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Psycho
Location: cali
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awesome rear cleavage
Quote:
He does not have MAN TITTIES, he too has a set of breasts with which men should not fondle --forgive me, i'm tired
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no man or woman is worth your tears - and the one who is, won't make you cry question authority, don't ask why, just do it! |
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11-18-2003, 03:40 PM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Tilted
Location: Australia
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POLITICALLY CORRECT PHRASES
POLITICALLY CORRECT PHRASES
He does not have a beer gut; He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility. He is not quiet; He is a Conversational Minimalist. He is not stupid; He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development. He does not get lost all the time; He discovers Alternative Destinations. He is not balding; He is in Follicle Regression. He is not a redneck; He is a Genetically-Related American. You do not kiss him; You become Facially Conjoined. He is not a cradle robber; He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships. He does not get falling-down drunk; He becomes Accidentally Horizontal. He does not act like a total ass; He develops a Case Of Rectal-Cranial Inversion. He is not short; He is Anatomically Compact. He does not have a rich daddy; He is a Recipient Of Parental Asset Infusion. He does not constantly talk about cars; He has a Vehicular Addiction. He does not have a hot body; He is Physically Combustible. He is not unsophisticated; He is Socially Malformed. He does not eat like a pig; He suffers from Reverse Bulimia. He is not a bad dancer; He is Overly Caucasian. He does not hog the blankets; He is Thermally Unappreciative. He is not a sex machine; He is Romantically Automated. He is not a male chauvinist pig; He has Swine Empathy. You do not undress him with your eyes; You have an Introspective Pornographic Moment. He is not afraid of commitment; He is Monogamously Challenged. |
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| Tags |
| correctives, politically |
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