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11-19-2003, 12:51 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Crazy
Location: Vermont
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Some Michael Jackson jokes
What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson What's red, blue, and fucks little boys? Roses, Violets, and Michael Jackson. How do you know it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch? When the big hand is on the little hand. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalogue. Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart? He heard boys' pants were half-off What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common? They both ride three year olds. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10? Two 5 year olds Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own? Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million a pop
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Skwerl. Its wuts fer dinner. |
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11-19-2003, 01:34 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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It wasnt me
Location: Scotland
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Wry smile, would laugh if it was just about any other subject. But very topical right now and lets hope they throw away the key this time...
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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten |
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11-19-2003, 02:16 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Tired
Location: Florida
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Haha, burned. Good ones.
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From a head full of pressure rests the senses that I clutch Made a date with Divinity, but she wouldn't let me fuck I got touched by a hazy shaded, God help me change Caught a rush on the floor from the life in my veins |
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11-20-2003, 12:52 AM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Insane
Location: Milwaukee
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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One of them has walked on the moon... Wait for it...... And the other one likes to fuck little boys. Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the Veal!
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Don't blame me... *I* voted for Kodos! |
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11-20-2003, 08:58 PM
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#12 (permalink) |
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Ssssssssss
Location: Ontario
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What did Michael Jackson say to Pee Wee Herman?
I'll trade you a ten for 2 fives. Police raided Michael Jacksons house earlier today. They found class A drugs in the kitchen, Class B drugs in the dining room and class 5C in the bedroom. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson? I believe you’re in my son. |
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11-23-2003, 09:21 PM
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#21 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero
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Jackson's lawyer is looking for a fair jury... wants Jackson tried by Catholic Archdiocese.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Michael Jackson sat down with his lawyer. The lawyer says, "I have good news and bad news" Michael asks for the bad news. The lawyer says "they have a real strong case for molestation and you are going to do serious time." Michael asks for the good news. The lawyer says "I think you can serve it in a juvenile detention facility" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 12." Glad
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I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!! |
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11-25-2003, 08:44 PM
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#25 (permalink) |
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A Real American
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MJ's new Elton John remake to prevent litigation:
Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.
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I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince |
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12-15-2003, 11:25 AM
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#36 (permalink) |
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A Storm Is Coming
Location: The Great White North
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I heard the first one but they forgot to include LITTLE can. This clears it up and makes it even funnier!
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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves. Stangers have the best candy. |
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12-25-2003, 09:34 PM
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#40 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: Somewhere, Missouri
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Haha, time for me to hijack this thread!
Here are some good ones. I'm pretty sure some are repeats, but meh. Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common? A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!! Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in !! Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart? A: He heard boys' pants were half-off !! Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper? A: Michael Jackson's hand !! Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? A: Get out of my sun!! Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket? A: His other hand !! Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning? A: Throw him a buoy !! Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!! Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs? A: I'm forever blowing bubbles! Knock Knock! Who's There? Little boy blue! Little boy blue who? Michael Jackson!! Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together? A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds! Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping? A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians! Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common? A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns! Q:Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael? A:He doesn't mind reaching bottom. Q:What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show? A:The Kids in the Hall. Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"? A: Two 5 year olds. Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small? A: Because they aren't his! `Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster? ~The bread goes in brown, and comes out white. `What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision? ~Foreplay. Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A: From a catalogue. `What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic? ~Blowing his first nose. Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson? A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt on Pepsi! Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service. Michael said to Debbie one night, "I fancy some entertainment, what shall we do?". To which Debbie replied " I know we'll get a video". Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin". Debbie said speedily "No Michael, You have been in trouble for that before" `What's black and comes in little white cans? ~Michael Jackson `What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years? ~Michael Jackson. |
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| jackson, jokes, michael |
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