Blonde Jokes - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

B21 · 09-04-2003, 04:28 PM

Guys post the best blonde jokes you have.

Here r mine.

What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone's been in a 747!

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.

Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date?
So they have some place to put their feet.

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back

How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)

K-Wise · 09-04-2003, 05:11 PM

So this blond is livin in the city and she decides she needs a change a pace. She's been discriminated all her life simply because of her hair regardless of her position of power at the firm she works for and regardless of the many degrees she's earned over the years she is still just another dumb blond. She decides she's gonna change her life around so she dyes her hair brown and decides she's gonna move out to the country and start a ranch or a farm of some sort. She figures....hey....a cow would be a good investment on this venture so she goes looking around and finally she finds a cattle range. So she rents a little cattle trailer and decides to pay them a visit. She waltzes up over to the door very business-woman like and knocks on the door. A man answers and asks her whats her business. She replies with...."Well mister if I can guess just how many cows you have here on this ranch without actually going over and looking at them would you let me have my pick of whichever one I wanted?" Doubtful he gives a little smirk and says "Sure...why not?" So she proceeds to break out her calculator and enters equation after equation and finally comes up with an estimate. The number was exactly right. Slightly vexed by the whole ordeal the man simply responds with "Well why don't ya just go back there and get it yourself? And don't forget to lock up the gate when you're done." So she fetches her cow and goes on her marry way. So she's in her apartment packing a few weeks later when she gets a knock at the door. She opens it up and there stands the cattle rancher. He says "Miss I have been looking for you everywhere! Now....If I can guess what color your hair really is will you give me back my dog?!"

Why don't blonds make chocolate chip cookies? It takes too long to peel the M&M's.

Asta!!

Blistex · 09-04-2003, 05:18 PM

Why do blondes like tilt steering?

More head room!

glophead · 09-04-2003, 06:26 PM

Q: A blond and a burnette fall off a building, who lands first?

A: The burnette because the blonde has to stop and ask for directions!!
hur hur hur

loganmule · 09-04-2003, 06:28 PM

how does a blonde turn on the lights in the morning? she opens the car door

scansinboy · 09-04-2003, 08:05 PM

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

Keg-o-Grog · 09-05-2003, 02:48 AM

Tarn · 09-05-2003, 06:21 AM

lol, blond jokes are always good.

ephtien807 · 09-06-2003, 12:33 AM

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

It got stuck in a trap... chewed three of it's legs off!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Still stuck in the trap!

bravo49 · 09-06-2003, 01:20 AM

Why pick on blondes? They can't help being stupid

ariekitten · 09-06-2003, 04:23 PM

Q: How are blondes like railroad tracks?
A: They've both been laid all over the country.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the titanic?
A: They know how many men went down on the titanic.

Q: Why do blondes have bruises in their bellybuttons?
A: Because their boyfriends are dumb blondes too.

Q: Why did the blonde dye her hair red?
A: Instant intelligence.

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them! HEHE (ME)

gfandy · 09-08-2003, 10:33 PM

Two blondes were driving through Louisiana when they passed a highway sign that read “Natchitoches 20 miles.” For the next twenty miles they argued about the correct way to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they arrived and stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, “Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are." The cashier leaned over the counter and said Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg."

K-Wise · 09-09-2003, 12:41 AM

LMFAO!! Thats a good one.

Asta!!

pocon1 · 09-10-2003, 04:50 PM

What does a blonde ask after sex?
Are you guys all on the same team?

loganmule · 09-10-2003, 07:43 PM

gotta kick out of the burger king one, and the others too...let's have more, ok?

Nitro · 09-10-2003, 11:27 PM

What do blondes do after they wake up?
They get up, get dressed and go home.

Why was the blonde walking areound under the shower and bumping into the walls?
It said on the bottle "Wash & Go".

gnl3434 · 09-11-2003, 05:35 AM

Q: How can you tell if a blond has been using the computer?

A: White out on the screen!

Q: How can you tell that a brunette has used the computer after a blond?

A: Writing on the white out!

mvassek · 09-11-2003, 05:14 PM

Q: Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings?

A: So they have a place to rest there feet during sex.

gloveshot3 · 09-14-2003, 06:25 AM

What is a blondes usual method to check if her period has started?

scratch and sniff

shannon · 09-14-2003, 09:26 AM

man, that last one was pretty terrible.
but i liked most of the others.

09-04-2003, 04:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
B21 Loser Location: Earth	Blonde Jokes Guys post the best blonde jokes you have. Here r mine. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? Not everyone's been in a 747! Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven. Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date? So they have some place to put their feet. Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below) How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)

09-04-2003, 05:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	So this blond is livin in the city and she decides she needs a change a pace. She's been discriminated all her life simply because of her hair regardless of her position of power at the firm she works for and regardless of the many degrees she's earned over the years she is still just another dumb blond. She decides she's gonna change her life around so she dyes her hair brown and decides she's gonna move out to the country and start a ranch or a farm of some sort. She figures....hey....a cow would be a good investment on this venture so she goes looking around and finally she finds a cattle range. So she rents a little cattle trailer and decides to pay them a visit. She waltzes up over to the door very business-woman like and knocks on the door. A man answers and asks her whats her business. She replies with...."Well mister if I can guess just how many cows you have here on this ranch without actually going over and looking at them would you let me have my pick of whichever one I wanted?" Doubtful he gives a little smirk and says "Sure...why not?" So she proceeds to break out her calculator and enters equation after equation and finally comes up with an estimate. The number was exactly right. Slightly vexed by the whole ordeal the man simply responds with "Well why don't ya just go back there and get it yourself? And don't forget to lock up the gate when you're done." So she fetches her cow and goes on her marry way. So she's in her apartment packing a few weeks later when she gets a knock at the door. She opens it up and there stands the cattle rancher. He says "Miss I have been looking for you everywhere! Now....If I can guess what color your hair really is will you give me back my dog?!" Why don't blonds make chocolate chip cookies? It takes too long to peel the M&M's. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

09-04-2003, 08:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

09-05-2003, 02:48 AM	#7 (permalink)
Keg-o-Grog Insane Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.	wah __________________ I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

09-06-2003, 04:23 PM	#11 (permalink)
ariekitten bAck iN aCtiOn! Location: in my imagination	Q: How are blondes like railroad tracks? A: They've both been laid all over the country. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the titanic? A: They know how many men went down on the titanic. Q: Why do blondes have bruises in their bellybuttons? A: Because their boyfriends are dumb blondes too. Q: Why did the blonde dye her hair red? A: Instant intelligence. Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them! HEHE (ME) __________________ I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call. ~Vash, Trigun >'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

09-04-2003, 05:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
Blistex Psycho Location: Tiger I Turret	Why do blondes like tilt steering? More head room!

09-04-2003, 06:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
glophead Crazy Location: Springfield, VA	Q: A blond and a burnette fall off a building, who lands first? A: The burnette because the blonde has to stop and ask for directions!! hur hur hur

09-04-2003, 06:28 PM	#5 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	how does a blonde turn on the lights in the morning? she opens the car door

09-05-2003, 06:21 AM	#8 (permalink)
Tarn Crazy	lol, blond jokes are always good.

09-06-2003, 12:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
ephtien807 Upright	Did you hear about the blonde coyote? It got stuck in a trap... chewed three of it's legs off! . . . . . . . . . . . Still stuck in the trap!

09-06-2003, 01:20 AM	#10 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	Why pick on blondes? They can't help being stupid

09-08-2003, 10:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
gfandy Upright Location: San Francisco	Two blondes were driving through Louisiana when they passed a highway sign that read “Natchitoches 20 miles.” For the next twenty miles they argued about the correct way to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they arrived and stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, “Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are." The cashier leaned over the counter and said Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg."

09-09-2003, 12:41 AM	#13 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	LMFAO!! Thats a good one. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

09-10-2003, 04:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
pocon1 Banned	What does a blonde ask after sex? Are you guys all on the same team?

09-10-2003, 07:43 PM	#15 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	gotta kick out of the burger king one, and the others too...let's have more, ok?

09-10-2003, 11:27 PM	#16 (permalink)
Nitro Upright Location: on the North Sea shore	What do blondes do after they wake up? They get up, get dressed and go home. Why was the blonde walking areound under the shower and bumping into the walls? It said on the bottle "Wash & Go". __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsilvania, 1759

09-11-2003, 05:35 AM	#17 (permalink)
gnl3434 Upright	Q: How can you tell if a blond has been using the computer? A: White out on the screen! Q: How can you tell that a brunette has used the computer after a blond? A: Writing on the white out!

09-11-2003, 05:14 PM	#18 (permalink)
mvassek Crazy Location: East Tennessee	Q: Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings? A: So they have a place to rest there feet during sex.

09-14-2003, 06:25 AM	#19 (permalink)
gloveshot3 Crazy	What is a blondes usual method to check if her period has started? scratch and sniff

09-14-2003, 09:26 AM	#20 (permalink)
shannon Psycho Location: Canada	man, that last one was pretty terrible. but i liked most of the others. __________________ "When I look down I just miss all the good stuff. And when I look up I just trip over things"