Walks into a bar... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

vox_rox · 05-07-2009, 10:01 PM

So a Giraffe walks into a bar and says: "hey everyone, hi-balls on me."

Peace,
Pierre

SSJTWIZTA · 05-07-2009, 10:18 PM

So, a whale walks into a bar, approaches the bartender and says:

"wwhhhahrrrrrllllllaarrrgghh"

Iliftrocks · 05-08-2009, 05:26 AM

So, a skeleton walks into a bar, says "Barkeep, I want a beer........................................ and a mop"

oldies are goodies

Zweiblumen · 05-08-2009, 02:56 PM

A man walks into a bar ... ouch!

Strange Famous · 05-08-2009, 03:19 PM

Two guys walk into the pub

The first guy says to the barman "I'll have a pint of best, and the same for this donkey" indicating his mate

The barman pours the drinks and then says to the other guy "hey, why does this fella call you a donkey?"

The guy replies
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"EEYORE!!! EEYORE!!! 'E Always calls me that"

Cheater · 05-08-2009, 03:30 PM

A minister, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender asks,"is this some kinda joke?"

Xerxys · 05-08-2009, 08:02 PM

A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

A man from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. He asks the bartender, "Did you go to Harvard?" The bartender says, "Yale." The North Carolinan says, "DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?"

Ratman · 05-08-2009, 08:50 PM

A cheeseburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Crack · 05-12-2009, 08:21 PM

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer, the barkeep says, "sorry, we don't serve pieces of string in this bar."
Distraught, the string walks out the door and is gone for a few minutes, then comes back in looking to be in terrible shape. He is twisted up, and his ends are all over the place with string fibers everywhere. The bartender looks at him and says "sorry, we STILL don't serve pieces of string in here... Don't you have anywhere else to get a drink?" The String looks heartbroken and says...

I'm a Frayed Knot!

sweeze · 05-19-2009, 06:28 AM

two guys walk into a bar....

....third one ducked!

Iliftrocks · 05-19-2009, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerxys

A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

A man from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. He asks the bartender, "Did you go to Harvard?" The bartender says, "Yale." The North Carolinan says, "DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?"

And a man from North Carolina groans......

Xerxys · 05-24-2009, 09:53 AM

Two atoms walk out of a bar, one says, "I think I might have lost an electron", the other asks, "are you sure?" to which the other replies, "I'm positive!".

squeeeb · 06-10-2009, 03:43 PM

a horse walks into the bar and the bartender says" hey, we don't allow animals in here." (as opposed to "why the long face?")

kramus · 06-10-2009, 04:26 PM

Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Do you want a beer?".
Descartes responds "I think not".
Poof. Descartes disappears.

05-07-2009, 10:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
vox_rox Psycho Location: Comfy Little Bungalow	Walks into a bar... So a Giraffe walks into a bar and says: "hey everyone, hi-balls on me." Peace, Pierre __________________ --- There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people. ---

05-07-2009, 10:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
SSJTWIZTA Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator. Location: Windiwana	So, a whale walks into a bar, approaches the bartender and says: "wwhhhahrrrrrllllllaarrrgghh" __________________ First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller

05-08-2009, 05:26 AM	#3 (permalink)
Iliftrocks Junkie Location: Near Raleigh, NC	So, a skeleton walks into a bar, says "Barkeep, I want a beer........................................ and a mop" oldies are goodies __________________ bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

05-08-2009, 02:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
Zweiblumen Insane Location: at home	A man walks into a bar ... ouch! __________________ Sodomy non sapiens. : I'm buggered if I know

05-08-2009, 03:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	Two guys walk into the pub The first guy says to the barman "I'll have a pint of best, and the same for this donkey" indicating his mate The barman pours the drinks and then says to the other guy "hey, why does this fella call you a donkey?" The guy replies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "EEYORE!!! EEYORE!!! 'E Always calls me that" __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

05-08-2009, 03:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Cheater Tilted Location: New Jersey	A minister, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender asks,"is this some kinda joke?"

05-08-2009, 08:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?" A man from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. He asks the bartender, "Did you go to Harvard?" The bartender says, "Yale." The North Carolinan says, "DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?"

05-08-2009, 08:50 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ratman Addict Location: Somewhere... Across the sea...	A cheeseburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here." __________________ The difference between theory and reality is that in theory there is no difference. "God made man, but he used the monkey to do it." DEVO

05-12-2009, 08:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer, the barkeep says, "sorry, we don't serve pieces of string in this bar." Distraught, the string walks out the door and is gone for a few minutes, then comes back in looking to be in terrible shape. He is twisted up, and his ends are all over the place with string fibers everywhere. The bartender looks at him and says "sorry, we STILL don't serve pieces of string in here... Don't you have anywhere else to get a drink?" The String looks heartbroken and says... I'm a Frayed Knot! __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx

05-19-2009, 06:28 AM	#10 (permalink)
sweeze Tilted	two guys walk into a bar.... ....third one ducked!

05-24-2009, 09:53 AM	#12 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	Two atoms walk out of a bar, one says, "I think I might have lost an electron", the other asks, "are you sure?" to which the other replies, "I'm positive!".

06-10-2009, 03:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
squeeeb part of the problem Location: hic et ubique	a horse walks into the bar and the bartender says" hey, we don't allow animals in here." (as opposed to "why the long face?") __________________ onward to mayhem!

06-10-2009, 04:26 PM	#14 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Do you want a beer?". Descartes responds "I think not". Poof. Descartes disappears. __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca