vox_rox

So a Giraffe walks into a bar and says: "hey everyone, hi-balls on me."

Peace,
Pierre

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There is no such thing as strong coffee - only weak people.
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SSJTWIZTA

So, a whale walks into a bar, approaches the bartender and says:

"wwhhhahrrrrrllllllaarrrgghh"

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Iliftrocks

So, a skeleton walks into a bar, says "Barkeep, I want a beer........................................ and a mop"

oldies are goodies

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

Zweiblumen

A man walks into a bar ... ouch!

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Sodomy non sapiens. : I'm buggered if I know

Strange Famous

Two guys walk into the pub

The first guy says to the barman "I'll have a pint of best, and the same for this donkey" indicating his mate

The barman pours the drinks and then says to the other guy "hey, why does this fella call you a donkey?"

The guy replies
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"EEYORE!!! EEYORE!!! 'E Always calls me that"

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Cheater

A minister, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender asks,"is this some kinda joke?"

Xerxys

A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

A man from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. He asks the bartender, "Did you go to Harvard?" The bartender says, "Yale." The North Carolinan says, "DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?"

Ratman

A cheeseburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

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The difference between theory and reality is that in theory there is no difference.

"God made man, but he used the monkey to do it." DEVO

Crack

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer, the barkeep says, "sorry, we don't serve pieces of string in this bar."
Distraught, the string walks out the door and is gone for a few minutes, then comes back in looking to be in terrible shape. He is twisted up, and his ends are all over the place with string fibers everywhere. The bartender looks at him and says "sorry, we STILL don't serve pieces of string in here... Don't you have anywhere else to get a drink?" The String looks heartbroken and says...


I'm a Frayed Knot!

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

sweeze

two guys walk into a bar....









....third one ducked!

Iliftrocks

And a man from North Carolina groans......

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

Xerxys

Two atoms walk out of a bar, one says, "I think I might have lost an electron", the other asks, "are you sure?" to which the other replies, "I'm positive!".

squeeeb

a horse walks into the bar and the bartender says" hey, we don't allow animals in here." (as opposed to "why the long face?")

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onward to mayhem!

kramus

Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Do you want a beer?".
Descartes responds "I think not".
Poof. Descartes disappears.

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And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca