Rdr4evr

Tophat is evil because it takes me 2 hours to read his posts........although I do get a good laugh from them, doesn't mean he is not evil. He is in fact the very definition of evil. Don't believe me? Go look up "evil" in the dictionary and you will see.

:::OshnSoul:::

Evil for being a raider fan........let alone a football fan.

Tophat665

Oh wicked, wicked, bad , nasty, naughty, evil :::OshnSoul:::, you are so evil, so very, very bad, that you replied to that viscious slander Rdr4evr slung my way before I could properly chastize him (and thank him). Also, with your 6 colons, you are depriving 5 other people of the ability to poop, you wretched, wretched person.

Edit: Having forgotten that :::OshnSoul::: is a gesalt organism comprised of two people, I overestimated the number of colons that were being prevented from serving their appointed function. It is 4, not 5. However, one should not apologize to evil, particularly the one-two combination of deviltry and carnage that :::OshnSoul::: are.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

LeviticusMky

Tophat is evil because he employs FUZZY MATH... can't count poo-chutes, hmmm....

Tophat665

Woe to you, oh earth and sky, for LeviticusMky sends feeble accusations for he knows the time is short.
Let him who hath understanding reckon the evil that is LeviticusMky, for he tells children that the sky is blue because of something they did.

Oh, and he makes mirth and mayhem in a state wherein the weather tries to kill you with due dilligence 4 months a year.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
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:::OshnSoul:::

evil for having such evil "evil" posts..........

Tophat665

Now, the only other person I can think of who would use that particular word three times in one sentance is George W. Bush. He's evil. And if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, well, don't bet that it's a toaster.

Oh, and :::OshnSoul::: puts mice in white condoms and makes them go trick or treating as miniature ghosts. Needless cruelty to disease bearing rodents, while entertaining, is evil.

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Rdr4evr

Tophat is evil because he makes it very difficult for me to consider him evil. He is a Bush hater as I am, and his posts are very amusing. Still though, he is evil for the very fact that he tries to make himself seem non-evil..........even though he is very EVIL!

Tophat665

Jinkies, folks! He's on to me! Damn meddling kids like Rdr4evr are always evil. He is more evil than most, though. How evil is he? He is so evil that he bought a coffee table book of pictures of Mother Theresa just so he could draw horns, fangs, and moustaches on her with black sharpie. Now that's just not nice.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

:::OshnSoul:::

tophat is evil for making up reasons why people are evil. Oh, shoot, I'm sounding like Bush again- I'm evil!

Stiltzkin

OshnSoul is evil because that last post was not the first time she has sounded like Bush; note the use of the word "again" in that last post. This is clearly a common occurance, and we all know that sounding like Bush is the most evil thing in existence! (aside from actually <i>being</i> Bush...)

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The most important thing in this world is love.

Tophat665

Evidently, my righteous fervor and keen perceptions have been misrepresented as evil. So be it. If the black of heart quail at my name, I am content.

I mislike that small cute thing with the mind control beanie posing and mugging beneath Stiltzin's title. It has been written (just now, by me) that mind control beanies with red knobbed, flexible antennae are the cruelest and most inhuman of all mind control devices. Obviously, for using one of these to control his avatar, Stiltkin is quite feindish.

Further evidence of Stiltzkins evil: Spiking the ashtrays outside the corporate offices of the United Way with black powder. You know, it looks very much like the black volcanic sand they normally fill them with. My eyebrows are growing back nicely, thank you.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Stiltzkin

Tophat is evil because his avatar has a blue upside down cross-loop thingie. That is clearly Satan, and everyone knows that Satan is evil! ...

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The most important thing in this world is love.

Jonsgirl

Stiltzkin is evil for trying to take over the world. I mean, everyone knows that moogles are born trouble makers and quickly develop into gobal conspiritors. See that "cute" ball on it's head? That's actually an antenna from which issues its vile subliminal messages such as: "Hey America, get it supersized. It won't hurt." and "Aren't we cute and harmless?"

Watch out everyone! They're among us, and it might already be too late!!

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Tophat665

Tsk tsk tsk. There goes Jonsgirl, trying to deflect attention from her own iniquity. She is, in fact, the one she warned you of, for those who have eyes to see. She is the one that sends Chinese menus to pet stores. She framed Tanya Harding. She is nasty and insidious. She is brutal and inhuman. She is cruel and demented. She is clever, cunning, and ruthless. She is also an interesting shade of purple. Go on with your bad self, Jonsgirl!

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Jonsgirl

Tophat is singlehandly responsible for the walrus-skin trouser sweat shops that are threating the way of life for Eskimos all across the artic lands!
I'm pretty sure he's got his hand in the whole baby seal trade, too. :P

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Tophat665

Truly all unknowing jonsgirl has provided us with yet another example of her abiding naughtiness: racism.

Yes, racism.

Honestly, do you think those Inuit (Eskimo means "Raw Fish Eater" in one or another of the Athabascan languages - no shit.) would not have the competance to understand that they were being exploited if the were, in fact, being exploited?

(They aren't. What could be more welcome in the shrieking storms of the Arctic Winter night than a job at wich you could work hard enough to buld up a sweat? You say sweatshop like it was a bad thing. In such boreal climes, it's practically a health spa.)

You have denigrated my employees, my friends, and the entire way of life of the Walrus Hide Trouser makers. Indeed, to have ones tender parts encased in thick, warm, sweaty, fragrant Walrus Skin is to be the companion of the Arctic Wind and the friend of chill waters.

Denigrate the manufacturers of such needful products at your peril, mi'lady, my evil lady.

(That was fun! )

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Stiltzkin

Tophat is evil for being able to be so devilishly clever about something so silly! Isn't that how the Serpent seduced Eve?
And should I also point out that Tophat665 is nearly called Tophat666 ?!?!

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The most important thing in this world is love.

Tophat665

Studies have shown that the average moogle weighs slightly less than a duck. By any standard, Stiltzkin is an above average moogle, who, it turns out, weighs exactly as much as a duck and is therefore.....

A Witch! Burn Him!!!

Now, normally, I don't place much credence in the mad scribblings of Levantine mushroom freaks in the early days of history, but they surely had much to say about evil:
(Incidentally, 665 is the number of the neighbor of the beast.)

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Rdr4evr

Is there any point to proving how evil Tophat is anymore? He has proved to all of us here that he is nothing but pure evil. Look at the top of his avatar, he clearly states that he is the lesser evil, which still means he is very much evil. Trust me, that has nothing to do with the election, it has to do with the way he feels about his evil-self. It makes him feel better to be considered a lesser evil rather than the full blown evil he truly is! Tophat, you sir, are very evil.

OQwerty1

I'm sure someone has touched on this already but, you're not one for talking about evil avatars Raider Boy. You are the highest form of evil!

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Stiltzkin

Oh Draconian Devil! Wait... draconian devil? Ha, I read that in The Da Vinci Code somewhere. Anyways, OQwerty, the name of the keyboard. What jest is this, naming oneself a keyboard? It is as if though OQwerty has proclaimed him(her?)self the king(queen?) of text based dreams of fiery sorts! I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but trust me, OQwerty is as evil as they come!

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The most important thing in this world is love.

Rdr4evr

Stiltzkin is evil because he has obviously been taking lessons from tophat on how to proclaim others as evil!

Tophat665

I knew he was trouble the moment he walked in my door. The way he looked at my cat made my scalp itch. I said to him, "Stranger, you look like a weeks worth of bad news. What can I do for you?"
He said, "Do you know where I can get 20 lbs of live gerbils, and two tubes of epoxy?"
I said I didn't, and that I made it my policy to stay out of my client's sexual affairs. "Really, Mac, what dragged ou through this door?" Of All the doors in the world, he had to pick mine, "World Conquest?"
Rdr4evr steepled his fingers beneath his unshaven chin. "Precisely."
I said to him, "You know that there are laws in this state, strict laws, laws that'll land you in the pokey for a hard 20, against world hegemony, right? And this doesn't bother you?"
"Not particularly, he said. You see, if my plan works as my exhaustive research has indicated, each and every man, woman, and child on the planet will be transformed into an exacty duplicate of Charro, as she was in 1968, and they will all worship the ground upon which I tread."
Charro? Obviouly this guy was some kind of sicko. "So, what is your plan, anyway?"
"Step 1, collect underwear. Step 2, well, I'm still working on step 2. Step 3, enjoy the adulation of the Latina masses."
That was last Thursday. I gave the evil bastard my second best pair of tartan boxers when he pulled the heater on me. I hope he gets skid marks on his brain.
Charro! What can I say? This guy is devilish. Evil as a ham sandwich with extra mayo, tucked under the back seat of your car in mid August while you vacation in the Bahamas.

<small>Cootchie Cootchie.</small>

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

trickyy

tophat is evil because he's been refreshing this page frantically, waiting for someone else to post. evil because he has posted over 10 times in this thread, and obviously puts a lot of time into the post construction. evil because his yinyang is square, not circular. evil because he invented telemarketing. evil because he burns styrofoam and farts near small children. evil because the franco-prussian war was his idea...and so was the macarena, income tax, and richard simmons. evil because soon he will slander yet another with his LIES, i tell you. he cannot be trusted.

Tophat665

"Mr. Pot? Yes sir, there's a Mr.Kettle for you on line 1. Something about color."

As my attorney, everything that trickyy said should be taken with a grain of salt (unless cyanide is available.) Trickyy is indeed trickyy, and far too humble. He was a major collaborater on the Franco-Prussian thing and the income tax, and, let's face it, the macarena was really one of his. As for Richard Simmons, I have apologized for him at length before. Slander, my friend, is evil.

Now, I will admit, it is most convenient to have a truly warped and blackhearted attorney on staff. Why, without trickyy, I could never get the minutes from the meetings of the Trilateral Commission, the Elders of Zion, or the Bavarian Illuminati.

Finally, evil knows evil. Allow me to greatly simplify the next poster's task by stipulating that I am, in fact, quite evil. I am, in fact, something of a Subject Matter Expert in the field. Muuuuhuhuhuhahahahaha!

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Stug

Well I'm starting to like him..!

Sure his posts are long and heavily laced with evil thoughts and suggestions. And I've also heard the rumours about telemarketing, styrofoam and the franco-prussian war but are these not neccessary evils..? TopHat665 has also been known to launch frogs from tall buildings by poking a straw in their bum and exhaling rapidly!

But then evil is, as evil does...

TopHat665 makes the devil blush!

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and so ends the thought process for another day...

Jonsgirl

You're starting to like him?? Tophat??

Well, there you go, I don't think I need to post anything else about how evil Stug is. He admitted it right there!!

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Tophat665

Yesterday, I was walking along, minding my own business, (staring at people's heads and trying to make their brains explode), when I happend to spot Jonsgirl laying out undoubtedly poisoned peanuts for the pigeons, and she was sing a little ditty. It went a little something like this:<blockquote><i> Bobby's with his scout troop, Muffy's playing tennis,
No-one gets to play with Jonsgirl - Jonsgirl is a menace!
Susie's at the shopping mall hanging with her schoolies,
No-one gets to hang with Jonsgirl, she's just too unruly!
It's not easy being evil, but evil's what I be, heh heh heh heh.

I'd like to be your buddy, be invited to your house,
But all your parents think I'm just a stinky little louse.

People think I'm the life of the party `cause I tell a joke or three, MWAAHAAHAAHAA!
It's not easy being evil, and evil's what I be, yeah.

Choke on it.</i></blockquote>The prosecution rests.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

vermin

Tophat665 has declared himself evil as a diversion to draw attention away from the truly insidious plot behind the endless accusations of others' evility. A plot so thoroughly unclean and devoid of anything even remotely approaching the loosest definitions of "socially redeeming value" that it must not be allowed to continue. It is intuitively obvious to the most casual of observers that this twisted soul is just waiting for the planets to align and then he will strike. He must be stopped.
Trust me. He's evil.

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

OQwerty1

Why should we trust you. You're vermin. In the Dark Ages, you're great-great-great-great-great-(etc.) grandmothers and grandfathers killed half of western Europe. Therefore, in conclusion, yada-yada-yada, "Rats are evil, so are you, if I kicked you in the balls, it would really hurt."

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Drider_it

Qwerty is evil i mean comeon look at the nick seemingly easy letters to spell out across the kb then again.. its a quiet facade there in lurks the true evil.. the master plan to rid of us all. beware also ytrewq backwards it means nothing leaving us in a endless circle of confusion.. evil.... evvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllll

__________________
It means only one thing, and everything: Cut. Once committed to fight, Cut. Everything else is secondary. Cut. That is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. There is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides that one. Cut. The lines are a portrayal of the dance. Cut from the void, not from bewilderment. Cut the enemy as quickly and directly as possible. Cut with certainty. Cut decisively, resoultely. Cut into his strength. Flow through the gaps in his guard. Cut him. Cut him down utterly. Don't allow him a breath. Crush him. Cut him without mercy to the depth of his spirit. It is the balance to life: death. It is the dance with death. It is the law a war wizard lives by, or he dies.

Stiltzkin

Drider_it spins yarns of bumpy sentences where, especially when a body expects a comma or some sort of pause, and yet there is none. The velocity at which the eyes and brain must synchronize in order to read Drider_it's posts approaches 300000000 meters per second, without crashing that is. Beware those who read Drider_it's post, for the post itself is an evil complot to steer the reader into speed-of-light neural-synaptic madness, sending the mind and soul plummeting at light speeds into the abysses of ... the greatest darkness! BUAHAHAHAHA!!!

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The most important thing in this world is love.

Tophat665

Stiltzkin pokes badgers with spoons. He has replaced our regular coffee with Folger's Crystals. He actually removed the "Bop" from the "Bop-de-bop-de-bop", and replaced the "Ram" in the "Ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong" with an expletive. He was once heard to say, "Yeah, but what about all the good things Hitler did?" He voted for Nixon. The only reason he didn't supply Karl Rove with mind control beanies for every one of us is because Deibold under-bid him. He sneaks into houses at night and re-frags hard drives.

Oh, he's a villian all right.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

sonikeko

Tophat665 is the very essence of evil. I was reading the paper yesterday and was horrified to find that a certain person, sporting nothing more than a hat and belly-chain, had been walking old ladies across the street only to throw them into mud-puddles on the other side. If that weren't bad enough, he would then fill their Depends with coffee grounds to make them more shamefull than before.

Bad evil Tophat665, bad.

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"Adolescence is short, maturity is forever"

Tophat665

In a departure from my standard involved rant and invective, this one's simple. <b>sonikeko </b> is obviously evil. It has been commented upon that I read this thread avidly, and who among us does not frequently have a frosty beverage at hand while perusing TFP? Sonikeko's evil is manifest in that I just got a nasal irrigation with cold beer. Funny, funny, nasty varlet. I am on to you now.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

TexanAvenger

Tophat665 is not only the lesser of two evils, still making him an evil, but he also so evil that his avatar, a variation on a yin yang, cannot contain the original white. It must contain grey for its white has been so soiled by the black. I'd also like to bring into focus the numbering of his name: 665. This makes him the neighbor of the beast, a slightly less horrendous, but still malignant, force in the world. The comparison that he draws between his neighbor and himself may very well explain why he is "The Lesser Evil."

tecoyah

TexanAvenger is from the same state as Satan............or at least one of his higher minions.He also eats baby bunnies, without ketchup.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

anleja

tecoyah is evil because he "borrowed" my illusionary cloak without even asking. I can understand that his illusionary cloak was dirty and he had a special meeting to go to, but he could have at least waited until I was out of the shower to ask, instead of just going into my closet and taking it, leaving before my shower had ended. I had to wear my white magic cloak instead, which is obviously the WRONG cloak to wear when journeying through the Dark Woods.

Oh, by the way tecoyah... do you know who finished off my Mountain Dew?

Stiltzkin

Anleja stalks icecream trucks and waits for the right momen to assault children for their icecream. Anleja also steals balls out of computer mice and auctions them off on Ebay. Furthermore, Anleja steals sparrow eggs out of their nests and swaps them with crow's eggs. Anleja has also been known to intentionally give wrong directions when asked by a tourist how to find a place.

Bad, just evil.

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The most important thing in this world is love.