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I knew he was trouble the moment he walked in my door. The way he looked at my cat made my scalp itch. I said to him, "Stranger, you look like a weeks worth of bad news. What can I do for you?"
He said, "Do you know where I can get 20 lbs of live gerbils, and two tubes of epoxy?"
I said I didn't, and that I made it my policy to stay out of my client's sexual affairs. "Really, Mac, what dragged ou through this door?" Of All the doors in the world, he had to pick mine, "World Conquest?"
Rdr4evr steepled his fingers beneath his unshaven chin. "Precisely."
I said to him, "You know that there are laws in this state, strict laws, laws that'll land you in the pokey for a hard 20, against world hegemony, right? And this doesn't bother you?"
"Not particularly, he said. You see, if my plan works as my exhaustive research has indicated, each and every man, woman, and child on the planet will be transformed into an exacty duplicate of Charro, as she was in 1968, and they will all worship the ground upon which I tread."
Charro? Obviouly this guy was some kind of sicko. "So, what is your plan, anyway?"
"Step 1, collect underwear. Step 2, well, I'm still working on step 2. Step 3, enjoy the adulation of the Latina masses."
That was last Thursday. I gave the evil bastard my second best pair of tartan boxers when he pulled the heater on me. I hope he gets skid marks on his brain.
Charro! What can I say? This guy is devilish. Evil as a ham sandwich with extra mayo, tucked under the back seat of your car in mid August while you vacation in the Bahamas.
<small>Cootchie Cootchie.</small>
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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