05-12-2003, 08:45 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Gastrolithuanian
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
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Evil hops among you!
Hail Citizens!
There comes a time when one must step forward, even at great sacrifice to themselves, to reveal a greater truth. Bunnies are evil they’ll take your baby they like chainsaws they sing for the Counting Crows sometimes, kids sense their evil they will move in on your girl while you're out of town they yell at you all the time like some virus in a sci-fi movie they mutate your kids just look at them, they know what they are doing is wrong and woe be to he who discovers their sinister plan they know that no one will believe me If I save one person, it will be worth it. -GH Last edited by Giant Hamburger; 05-12-2003 at 10:34 AM.. |
05-12-2003, 01:55 PM | #5 (permalink) |
Squid hat!
Location: A Few Miles Away From Halx
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OH MY GOD. I have wild bunnies in my
backyard... I've been wondering what all that voo-doo chanting I was hearing is all about. Now I know. Thank you Giant Hamburger, Thank you.
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05-12-2003, 02:08 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Gastrolithuanian
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
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Quote:
GET OUT, NOW! No wait, what was I thinking. Ignore that last statement. Unlock your doors Mr. Spleen. We are your friends... |
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05-12-2003, 03:20 PM | #8 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: NH
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I'm in complete agreement. When my son was three he was terrified of the Easter Bunny at the mall. Got to the point we couldn't even go to the mall because he might see the bunny and his HANDS (which were oversized to match the rabbit head).
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Drawing strength from His acceptance, offering all that I am and ever will be |
05-12-2003, 05:54 PM | #9 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: The 7th Level..
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I was the Easter Bunny at the mall when I was in 7th grade. I can't say anything other than "It sucked." I had little babies' diapers leak on my lap, I had little kids poking me in the boobs asking "Are you a boy bunny or a girl bunny?!?!?!", and I even had one angry parent make my boss pull me into the dressing room to sew up the costume because the paw gloves were separate from the rest of the costume. She complained that "her kids would freak out if they saw skin underneath the fur and figured out that the easter bunny wasn't real"
If you don't want your kid to be scarred, lady, DON'T FRIGGIN LIE TO THEM!! AAHHH! /disgrunted former easter bunny rant
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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer. |
05-12-2003, 06:19 PM | #10 (permalink) |
.
Location: Tokyo
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Down under, bunnies have always been considered enemy #1.
they are a serious rural pest. germ warfare is commonly used against them and shooting them on sight is legal, and in some places encouraged. at easter, we have easter bilbies, and easter wombats (although there still are damned easter bunnies hanging around). DIE BUNNY, DIE! interesting fact, my dog wouldn't ever eat raw dead bunny, he'd only touch it if it were cooked with tomato sauce.
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Ohayo!!! |
05-12-2003, 06:56 PM | #11 (permalink) |
Indifferent to anti-matter
Location: Tucson, AZ
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Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian t'Leyte, we'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first bunny for about a half hour. Cottontail. Thirteen incher. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the floppy ears to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, bunnies come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the squares in the old calendars like the Battle o' Waterloo and the idea was the bunny come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that bunny he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that bunny looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a bunny is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those bunnies come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many bunnies, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep, Reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. Three hundred and sixteen men come out, the bunnies took the rest, June the twenty-ninth, nineteen-forty five. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst. |
05-12-2003, 07:07 PM | #12 (permalink) |
Go Packers! (*sigh!*)
Location: The Lovely Emerald City
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Vermin... I...can't...stop...laughing...!!!
You are seriously warped! I admire that! Good One, GH!!
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Pas le cri, le coeur de Minx! .... Where can I stare now?.........I did!!!What about You? |
05-13-2003, 07:18 AM | #18 (permalink) |
Gastrolithuanian
Location: low-velocity Earth orbit
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Well done, Vermin!
I can almost see the bunny jaws displayed on Quint’s boat I imagine they would look something like this... Here is a true-life bunny horror story. As a young boy a good friend of mine celebrated Easter every year with his neighbors. It was a traditional celebration with church then brunch followed by a get together at the neighbors house afterwards. One year someone got the bright idea of giving the kids live chicks as a gift. Someone else did not have the bright idea to put Fred, the housecat, outside before they went to church. When the families returned from brunch, they were greeted by a grisly murder scene. Blood was everywhere and the cat nowhere to be found. My friend, for years, thought it was the Easter Bunny that committed the crime. |
05-13-2003, 10:52 AM | #21 (permalink) | |
Psycho
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Quote:
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"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone." |
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06-06-2003, 12:48 PM | #24 (permalink) |
comfortably numb...
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
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where are his pants?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it. |
06-30-2003, 10:03 AM | #27 (permalink) |
see the links to my music?
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
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man.....i sure hope this helps guys.
damn rabbits RABBIT STEW Recipe By : Serving Size : 1 Preparation Time :0:00 Categories : Meats Main dish Stews Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method -------- ------------ -------------------------------- 3 Rabbits cut into pieces 1 c Flour 1/4 c Olive oil 1/2 c Onions, chopped 2 Garlic clove, minced 1/4 c Wine, sherry, dry 1 c Chicken broth 1 c Game marinade, strained 1 t Thyme 1 t Sage 1 t Cayenne pepper 1/4 c Parsley, minced Salt & pepper to taste Dust pieces in flour and shake off excess. Brown in olive oil on all sides in a large black iron pot (My prejudice). Remove and keep warm. Add onions and garlic to same oil; cook until clear, not brown. Drain off excess oil and replace rabbit. Pour on sherry. Add broth and strained marinade. Bring to boil then reduce heat to simmer, covered, for 1 to 1-1/2 hours. |
06-30-2003, 12:34 PM | #30 (permalink) |
Essen meine kurze Hosen
Location: NY Burbs
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'Course the big ones can be particularly nasty. Depending upon where you are standing and your importance, or lack thereof, to future scenes.
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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. |
06-30-2003, 12:37 PM | #31 (permalink) |
Essen meine kurze Hosen
Location: NY Burbs
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Oh, let's just have some fun, shall we? I can't resist.
TIM: Behold the cave of Caerbannog! ARTHUR: Right! Keep me covered. GALAHAD: What with? ARTHUR: W-- just keep me covered. TIM: Too late! ARTHUR: What? TIM: There he is! ARTHUR: Where? TIM: There! ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit? TIM: It is the rabbit. ARTHUR: You silly sod! TIM: What? ARTHUR: You got us all worked up! TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit! ARTHUR: Ohh. TIM: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared! TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! GALAHAD: Get stuffed! TIM: He'll do you up a treat, mate. GALAHAD: Oh, yeah? ROBIN: You mangy Scots git! TIM: I'm warning you! ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum? TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones! ARTHUR: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off! BORS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up! TIM: Look! BORS: Aaaugh! ARTHUR: Jesus Christ! TIM: I warned you! ROBIN: I done it again! TIM: I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them-- ARTHUR: Oh, shut up! TIM: Do they listen to me? ARTHUR: Right! TIM: Oh, no... KNIGHTS: Charge! KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!, Aaaugh!, etc. ARTHUR: Run away! Run away! KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!... TIM: Ha ha ha ha! Ha haw haw! Ha! Ha ha! ARTHUR: Right. How many did we lose? LAUNCELOT: Gawain. GALAHAD: Ector. ARTHUR: And Bors. That's five. GALAHAD: Three, sir. ARTHUR: Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite. ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more? ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armour. GALAHAD: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake. ARTHUR: Like what? GALAHAD: Well... ooh. LAUNCELOT: Have we got bows? ARTHUR: No. LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade. ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade! MONKS: Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. ARTHUR: How does it, um-- how does it work? LAUNCELOT: I know not, my liege. ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments! BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one. SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu-- MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother. SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.' MAYNARD: Amen. KNIGHTS: Amen. ARTHUR: Right! One!... Two!... Five! GALAHAD: Three, sir! ARTHUR: Three!
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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. |
06-30-2003, 02:32 PM | #32 (permalink) | |
Tilted
Location: Indianapolis
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Quote:
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All problems no matter how complex can be solved with fire and/or duct tape. |
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07-01-2003, 10:43 PM | #37 (permalink) |
Deliberately unfocused
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
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You've heard the tales of the evil, undead Bunnicula!
Now tremble at his terrible visage! Run!!!! But you cannot hide!!!!
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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard |
07-01-2003, 11:41 PM | #38 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Indianapolis
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I actualy watched that bunnicula movie when I was in the hospital with appendecitis. And thanks for telling me where Frank the Bunny was from. Though I have no idea why he seemed familiar to me watched Donnie Darko and greatly enjoyed it.
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All problems no matter how complex can be solved with fire and/or duct tape. |
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evil, hops |
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