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water_boy1999 03-23-2004 10:02 AM

I am a man, who cares if it is less filling?????

John Holmes or Hal???

Grimlok 03-24-2004 02:09 PM

Hal... John Holmes is dead. Hal wins by default.

Ahem...

A Flying Shark or a Flying Alligator?

Bobaphat 03-24-2004 02:14 PM

Flying Alligator. The shark would have the advantage initially, but would soon become weakend and die due to the inability of being able to breathe out of the water. All the Alligator would need to do is dance and dodge for the first round and then the glory would be his.

Princess Leia or Queen Amidala?

kutulu 03-24-2004 03:22 PM

Princess Leia would tear the Queen's fancy outfits off and beat her to death with them.

Micheal Jackson v Boy George

water_boy1999 03-24-2004 03:36 PM

Boy George. Because "Boy" is mentioned in Boy Georges name, Michael's tendencies would have the best of him and instead of fighting, Michael would invite George to his Neverland Ranch. George would turn this to his advantage and push Michael off of the roller coaster as he reached over to give George a reacharound.

Wonder Woman or Wonder Bread?

3leggedfrog 03-24-2004 08:36 PM

Wonder Bread because nothing is better than sliced bread not even wonder woman or her breasts.

Coca Cola vs Pepsi?

anleja 03-24-2004 08:56 PM

Wow, I picked a bad time to join this thread. If you think about it, they have actually been fighting for years, but if I had to choose...

Pepsi will win.

A few reasons I think Pepsi is a bigger, tougher bad ass...

1) Pepsi was responsible for setting fire to Michael Jackson's hair.
2) The good local burger place around here switched from Pepsi to Coke, and as a result of this mistake soon went out of business.
3) There is the old Top Gun/Pepsi tie-in commercial which has the fighter pilot being all cool drinking Pepsi upside down while flying a jet. This makes Pepsi a tough badass by association.

Down with Coke! Your time has come.

Sylvester Stallone vs. a 1977 Chevrolet Monte Carlo (you know, the BIG car)

bundy 03-24-2004 09:02 PM

now this is something that i'd like to see. The Chevy would mow Sly down, then reverse over his flailing body again and again and again... it'd be very hard to know when if was moaning with pain, or actually still trash talking the chevy, so i guess he could trick the car into thinking he was down for the count... so lets all go and tell the car not to slow down or show any sign of mercy against that moronic Italian Stallion.



next up... Sillygirl vs silent_jay.

Sion 03-24-2004 10:06 PM

I'll take Sillygirl in the 5th by TKO.


next up:


Clint Eastwood at the age of 128 vs. Bruce Lee at the age of 9

bernadette 03-24-2004 11:07 PM

***** a brief game interruption *****

Quote:

Originally posted by crackprogram
Next: Bernadette VS SiN in a naked KY Jelly match...
OMG crack... OMG... yer cracked alright ;)

make no mistake :<b> SiN wins SiN won SiN is victorious</b>

*bernie bows & exits stage*

***** please carry on with the game *****

KellyC 03-24-2004 11:15 PM

continuing with the game.....

Quote:

Originally posted by Sion

Clint Eastwood at the age of 128 vs. Bruce Lee at the age of 9

Even though Bruce Lee didn't learn kung fu until 11. I'd still say the "little Dragon" will win. 9 year olds have so much energy.

Mike Tyson and Roy Jones jr.

Lets get it on!!!!

kutulu 03-25-2004 08:36 AM

If it's Tyson in his prime (not the old guy he is now) Tyson would beat the living shit out of him.

Kelly Rippa v Kathie Lee Gifford

paddyjoe 03-25-2004 10:34 AM

Unfortunately, this fight was declared a draw, as neither of the contestants answered the bell for round two, due to broken fingernails.


flyman vs. splck

Amazingly enough, bad blood was formed from 1500 miles away during a visit to....get this.....the happiest place on earth!

Now taking odds.

paddyjoe 03-25-2004 10:37 AM

Oh and by the way.

That bernie and SiN jelly match.............sweet :thumbsup:

water_boy1999 03-25-2004 11:16 AM

are we speaking of flyman's trip to Disney? OMG!!!! We warned him not to light up in Small World.

Speaking of which, the fight never happened. All the munchkins came and kicked flyman's ass for smoking a doobie, long before splck could have his due.

Pluto or Goofy?

kutulu 03-25-2004 11:20 AM

Goofy is too domesticated to be a good fighter. Pluto still has that raw animal instinct inside of him. Therefore Pluto would tear his fucking throat out.

Dan Quayle v Al Gore (the battle of the pussy-assed VPs)

3leggedfrog 03-25-2004 01:51 PM

that would end in a draw. hopefull they would both kill each other but given america's luck they would both survive and claim victory. but with some luck there would be a sniper on the grass knoll....

louis black vs dave chappelle

Sion 03-25-2004 09:36 PM

with all due respect to Chappelle, Louis Black would win. Chappelle is to nice a guy, while Black is a mean-spirited cynic.


next bout: Jessica Simpson vs a can of Chicken of the Sea Tuna ("is this chicken or fish?)

Batman976 03-25-2004 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bobaphat
Flying Alligator. The shark would have the advantage initially, but would soon become weakend and die due to the inability of being able to breathe out of the water. All the Alligator would need to do is dance and dodge for the first round and then the glory would be his.
I realize that I'm speaking out of turn, but I just wanted to tell you that you're wrong. I feel very strongly on this subject.

anleja 04-03-2004 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sion
next bout: Jessica Simpson vs a can of Chicken of the Sea Tuna ("is this chicken or fish?)
Jessica Simpson picks the can up from the counter and reads the label out loud. "Chick...en...of...the...se...se...SEA," she reads slowly. A smile comes to her face. "I like Chicken McNuggets, so this must also be good, or at least gooder."

She finds her $200 electric can opener, for as hard as she looks, she can't find a pull tab on the lid. After opening the can and taking off the lid, she sees the layer of water on top of the tuna. However, see thinks it is ONLY water.

"Nick, they forgot to put the chicken in this one! They put water in it instead!" Nick however is tinkering in the garage or whatever he does, so her cries of confusion go unheard.

Jessica sighs and throws the full can of tuna in the trash and looks for something else to eat.

Tuna is safe.
Tuna WINS.

next up... my dad vs. your dad (I don't think this has been done).

Sion 04-04-2004 04:47 AM

my dad would kick your dad's ass.

(what did you think I was gonna say?)


next bout: Marilyn Chamber's pussy vs a 26 inch long, 4 inch diameter ear of corn

MSD 04-04-2004 12:18 PM

The 26-inch ear of corn, inserted sideways, would claim victory.

Next: Who would win? Notoious BIG versus Gary Coelman, boxing.


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