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3leggedfrog 03-10-2004 07:52 PM

who would win a fight game
 
Just put who you would think would win and WHY then post you own question on who would win between....

For an example:
ME: Who would win in a fight between Martha Steward and Jenny Craig?

YOU: Right now Jenny Craig because she has a whole army of fat hungry women on her side who would "eat Martha up" but i think martha would win after her vaction in breaking big rocks into little rocks prison.

YOU: who would win ....

ok i'll start off

Who would win in fight between lawyer in a shark suit and a pack of pirranas?

Tophat665 03-10-2004 08:36 PM

Well, that depends on the venue. If it's on land, the Lawyer wins, but only if he's wearing golf shoes. If there's more than 2" of water in the ring, the Piranha skeletonize the lawyer in 5 seconds (and then spend the rest of their lives throwing up).

Mike Tyson and that jackass who broke the other guy's neck in the Colorado/Edmondton Game yesterday (3/10). Both wearing skates.

slimshaydee 03-10-2004 08:44 PM

the lawyer would win because no matter what he'd sue the pirhanas for intentionally causing grevious bodily harm

rockzilla 03-10-2004 09:37 PM

Bertuzzi (the jackass) would win the fight, Tyson wouldn't be able to stand longer than a second on a pair of skates.
(he plays for Vancouver, don't drag the oilers into this :) )

But the real winner would be Don King, who would make millions on the fight.

Super Mario vs. Tony Soprano

moonstrucksoul 03-10-2004 09:44 PM

in think that maybe if Mario ate some shrooms, he might bet big enough balls to whack Tony with a pipe wrench, but Tony's packing a gun, and he's never alone, so if Luigi came in they might have to make it a family issue.

wubbawubba 03-11-2004 08:57 AM

Who's fighting now?

Sion 03-11-2004 09:57 AM

who would win a fight between:

Steve Buscemi and Homer Simpson?

3leggedfrog 03-11-2004 10:06 AM

gahhh if you answer the question you have to POST A NEW FIGHT QUESTION!!!!

opps too slow sorry

homer because he can take a cannon to the stomac and still keep on ticking. Can Steve Buscemi do the same? i think not lol

who would win in a fight (not a race but a fight) speedy gonzales and the road runner? (a interspecies cock fight? lol)

clifclav 03-11-2004 11:35 AM

Speedy would drop all kinds of Pancho Villa Shit on Road Runners Ass.

Who would win a fight between Craig Kilborn & Conan O'Brien?

3leggedfrog 03-11-2004 12:50 PM

Conan because besides being a freaken red headed giant he also has a cool first name Conan.

who would win in a fight a bunch of Leprechauns or santa's elves?

Crack 03-11-2004 01:12 PM

Wife: "Leprechauns!"
Me: "Why?"
Wife: "Cause they're evil"

Next up, Halx, or Ron Jeremy...

3leggedfrog 03-11-2004 02:59 PM

halx of course have you seen his monster....

A cat fight between Selma Hayek and Penelope Cruz! *drools and pants*

GuttersnipeXL 03-11-2004 05:13 PM

The answer here, is a tie. Everyone is a winner if they ever fought!

Howsabout.... Pikachu vs. Meatwad?

CryptikSoul 03-11-2004 06:43 PM

Pikachu. He's cuter.

Tag team match: Hilary Duff and Amanda Bynes vs The Olsen Twins

CinnamonGirl 03-11-2004 08:04 PM

Hilary and Amanda, because Amanda is insanely evil and annoying and crazy. *nods*

Astronauts or cavemen? ("Do the astronauts have weapons?" "NO!")

MoNoXiDe_XXX 03-11-2004 08:59 PM

cavemen, there fricken savage.

Bruce Lee VS, Jet Li

KellyC 03-11-2004 10:16 PM

.
Quote:

Originally posted by MoNoXiDe_XXX
cavemen, there fricken savage.

Bruce Lee VS, Jet Li

Bruce Lee all the way. Higher kicker, faster puncher. Beating up Kareem Abdul Jabar is also very commendable. And he sets the trend for all those copy cats later on.

Zeus and Thor?

Sion 03-11-2004 10:28 PM

hmmm Zeus, the king of the Greek Gods versus Thor, a Norse deity known for his combat prowess. The Hammer vs the Lightning Bolt.

Im going with Thor, for no other reason than that I've always felt he was one of the coolest Gods ever.


next bout:

J-Lo vs Madonna in a no-holds-barred cage match.

KellyC 03-11-2004 11:53 PM

J-Lo, She can use her big ass to her advantage. Use your imagination.....heheheeheheheh :D

Ninja Gaiden V. that Halo guy ?

rockzilla 03-12-2004 07:07 PM

Ninja Gaiden. Because the only thing cooler than a ninja is two ninjas.

Chris Farley vs. John Belushi in a drinking contest.

Kewpie Dan 03-12-2004 08:08 PM

i think Chris Farley because his superiour mass would be able to absorb more alcohol. Also he's funnier (oh my god...did he just say that) ;oP

Mr. T vs. Sir Isaac Newton

moonstrucksoul 03-12-2004 11:47 PM

Newton would drop some science on Mr T, and make him fall out of one of the airplanes he was afraid to ride in in the A*team.

how bout Leon the Professional and the Punisher?

03-13-2004 09:04 AM

The Punisher would win this one... he is avenging the death of his own family not the family of a friend... His anger runs deep from personal loss...

P diddy vs Russell Simmons

Sion 03-13-2004 05:52 PM

Im not entirely sure I know who Russell Simmons is (I've heard the name before and believe he is a big name in the hip-hop/rap scene) but I am 100% sure he would kick P Diddy's ass. P Diddy is a punk and a pussy.

edit: next up is Hello Kitty vs Garfield

bundy 03-13-2004 06:06 PM

if you've ever been to Japan, you'd realise that Hello Kitty is bigger than EVERYTHING.
soon, Hello Kitty will be taking over the United Nations and then there will be no stopping her. she will even achieve global domination before Halx (sorry dude...)

so this would be no contest... Hello Kitty would destroy Garfield, his owner and his cartoonist.


next up...

Cheney and Rummy. no holds barred.

rockzilla 03-13-2004 06:12 PM

Garfield's ass is grass. If that fat slob could even manage to hit Hello Kitty, he'd be jumped by Hello Kitty's millions of fanatic schoolgirl minions.

Jean Claude Van Damme vs. Stephen Segal

Edit - Doh, beat me to it, but at least we agree. And as a sidenote, Garfield and I have the same birthday, right down to the year.

KellyC 03-15-2004 11:30 PM

Jean Claude VAn Damme would wipe the floor with Segal's ass. His kicks and punches looks more real than Segal's.


a BIG one:

Legolas vs Aragorn ?

3leggedfrog 03-16-2004 07:48 PM

Legolas is just a punk elf sure he can jump around and really kick donkey butt but can he call some thousands of dead cowards to fight his battels? no well ok i would go with Legolas then.

godzilla vs voltron?

CryptikSoul 03-17-2004 06:35 PM

As much as I love Godzilla, Voltron takes this, he could prolly withstand Godzilla's heat ray, after that Voltron chops him up into kibbles and bits.

Handicap match! Hulk vs Spiderman, Daredevil, Blade, and every mutant from the X-men (all movie versions, not comic versions)

KellyC 03-17-2004 09:29 PM

Xavier would win then. Using "celebro" and concentrate his mind on those other mofos for a minute and they'd be dead superheroes bitches.

Petter Griffen vs. Homer Simpson

Kewpie Dan 03-17-2004 09:39 PM

I say Homer, all that radiation is bound to have given him some sort of super power.

To piggyback offa KellyC's post...

Aragorn or Katsumoto (the guy from The Last Samurai)

3leggedfrog 03-18-2004 11:20 AM

oh dude it has to be Katsumoto unless the emperor says something stupid like oh i dont want you to win. lol

whos avatar would win in a fight Kewpie Dan's or clifclav's?

water_boy1999 03-18-2004 01:16 PM

Kewpie Dans of course. ClifClav is too stupid drunk to lift a finger. Erkle will have that bottle broken over his head before he can say, "NORM!!!!"

Who would win a fight between President Bush and Former President Clinton???

Bobaphat 03-18-2004 01:47 PM

Bush would premptively bomb the crap out of Clinton before he even showed up on the premise that there was intellegence that he was smuggling potentially cholestoral filled McDonald's burgers to obese children.


Who would win between Ghandi and Mother Theresa?

3leggedfrog 03-18-2004 06:45 PM

Mother Theresa of course. Ghandi would be like i will starve myself until you quit fighting me and say i win. Mother Theresa would be like ok starve biotch. Iam off to save the poor with the money i get from your bones.

who would win in a fight George Carlin or or the guy who invented the far side comic?

Soda_BoB 03-20-2004 07:12 AM

Since I haven't heard of either of them Cclearly George Carlin would win,
1. He has a name
2. His name is George... Cmon

Hitler vs Saddam vs Osama

Crack 03-20-2004 09:40 AM

Well... Lets see, Hitler was a closet homo, Saddam hid in a hole for like what 5 months... so he's out. Osama wins with 40 suicide bomber guys....

Next: Bernadette VS SiN in a naked KY Jelly match...

Tophat665 03-20-2004 10:18 AM

Another case of everybody wins, there! I have got to go with Bernadette, though, merely because I can remeber more of her posts.

OK, Keanu Reeves vs Patrick Swayze?

CryptikSoul 03-21-2004 07:44 AM

"Roadhouse" Patrick Swayze would rock Keanu Reeves.:p

Love vs Hate

Crack 03-21-2004 03:44 PM

I think hate would sucker punch love before the fight actually started, and then it would just go down hill from there. Hate winning.

Next: Tastes Great! VS Less Filling!

water_boy1999 03-23-2004 10:02 AM

I am a man, who cares if it is less filling?????

John Holmes or Hal???

Grimlok 03-24-2004 02:09 PM

Hal... John Holmes is dead. Hal wins by default.

Ahem...

A Flying Shark or a Flying Alligator?

Bobaphat 03-24-2004 02:14 PM

Flying Alligator. The shark would have the advantage initially, but would soon become weakend and die due to the inability of being able to breathe out of the water. All the Alligator would need to do is dance and dodge for the first round and then the glory would be his.

Princess Leia or Queen Amidala?

kutulu 03-24-2004 03:22 PM

Princess Leia would tear the Queen's fancy outfits off and beat her to death with them.

Micheal Jackson v Boy George

water_boy1999 03-24-2004 03:36 PM

Boy George. Because "Boy" is mentioned in Boy Georges name, Michael's tendencies would have the best of him and instead of fighting, Michael would invite George to his Neverland Ranch. George would turn this to his advantage and push Michael off of the roller coaster as he reached over to give George a reacharound.

Wonder Woman or Wonder Bread?

3leggedfrog 03-24-2004 08:36 PM

Wonder Bread because nothing is better than sliced bread not even wonder woman or her breasts.

Coca Cola vs Pepsi?

anleja 03-24-2004 08:56 PM

Wow, I picked a bad time to join this thread. If you think about it, they have actually been fighting for years, but if I had to choose...

Pepsi will win.

A few reasons I think Pepsi is a bigger, tougher bad ass...

1) Pepsi was responsible for setting fire to Michael Jackson's hair.
2) The good local burger place around here switched from Pepsi to Coke, and as a result of this mistake soon went out of business.
3) There is the old Top Gun/Pepsi tie-in commercial which has the fighter pilot being all cool drinking Pepsi upside down while flying a jet. This makes Pepsi a tough badass by association.

Down with Coke! Your time has come.

Sylvester Stallone vs. a 1977 Chevrolet Monte Carlo (you know, the BIG car)

bundy 03-24-2004 09:02 PM

now this is something that i'd like to see. The Chevy would mow Sly down, then reverse over his flailing body again and again and again... it'd be very hard to know when if was moaning with pain, or actually still trash talking the chevy, so i guess he could trick the car into thinking he was down for the count... so lets all go and tell the car not to slow down or show any sign of mercy against that moronic Italian Stallion.



next up... Sillygirl vs silent_jay.

Sion 03-24-2004 10:06 PM

I'll take Sillygirl in the 5th by TKO.


next up:


Clint Eastwood at the age of 128 vs. Bruce Lee at the age of 9

bernadette 03-24-2004 11:07 PM

***** a brief game interruption *****

Quote:

Originally posted by crackprogram
Next: Bernadette VS SiN in a naked KY Jelly match...
OMG crack... OMG... yer cracked alright ;)

make no mistake :<b> SiN wins SiN won SiN is victorious</b>

*bernie bows & exits stage*

***** please carry on with the game *****

KellyC 03-24-2004 11:15 PM

continuing with the game.....

Quote:

Originally posted by Sion

Clint Eastwood at the age of 128 vs. Bruce Lee at the age of 9

Even though Bruce Lee didn't learn kung fu until 11. I'd still say the "little Dragon" will win. 9 year olds have so much energy.

Mike Tyson and Roy Jones jr.

Lets get it on!!!!

kutulu 03-25-2004 08:36 AM

If it's Tyson in his prime (not the old guy he is now) Tyson would beat the living shit out of him.

Kelly Rippa v Kathie Lee Gifford

paddyjoe 03-25-2004 10:34 AM

Unfortunately, this fight was declared a draw, as neither of the contestants answered the bell for round two, due to broken fingernails.


flyman vs. splck

Amazingly enough, bad blood was formed from 1500 miles away during a visit to....get this.....the happiest place on earth!

Now taking odds.

paddyjoe 03-25-2004 10:37 AM

Oh and by the way.

That bernie and SiN jelly match.............sweet :thumbsup:

water_boy1999 03-25-2004 11:16 AM

are we speaking of flyman's trip to Disney? OMG!!!! We warned him not to light up in Small World.

Speaking of which, the fight never happened. All the munchkins came and kicked flyman's ass for smoking a doobie, long before splck could have his due.

Pluto or Goofy?

kutulu 03-25-2004 11:20 AM

Goofy is too domesticated to be a good fighter. Pluto still has that raw animal instinct inside of him. Therefore Pluto would tear his fucking throat out.

Dan Quayle v Al Gore (the battle of the pussy-assed VPs)

3leggedfrog 03-25-2004 01:51 PM

that would end in a draw. hopefull they would both kill each other but given america's luck they would both survive and claim victory. but with some luck there would be a sniper on the grass knoll....

louis black vs dave chappelle

Sion 03-25-2004 09:36 PM

with all due respect to Chappelle, Louis Black would win. Chappelle is to nice a guy, while Black is a mean-spirited cynic.


next bout: Jessica Simpson vs a can of Chicken of the Sea Tuna ("is this chicken or fish?)

Batman976 03-25-2004 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bobaphat
Flying Alligator. The shark would have the advantage initially, but would soon become weakend and die due to the inability of being able to breathe out of the water. All the Alligator would need to do is dance and dodge for the first round and then the glory would be his.
I realize that I'm speaking out of turn, but I just wanted to tell you that you're wrong. I feel very strongly on this subject.

anleja 04-03-2004 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sion
next bout: Jessica Simpson vs a can of Chicken of the Sea Tuna ("is this chicken or fish?)
Jessica Simpson picks the can up from the counter and reads the label out loud. "Chick...en...of...the...se...se...SEA," she reads slowly. A smile comes to her face. "I like Chicken McNuggets, so this must also be good, or at least gooder."

She finds her $200 electric can opener, for as hard as she looks, she can't find a pull tab on the lid. After opening the can and taking off the lid, she sees the layer of water on top of the tuna. However, see thinks it is ONLY water.

"Nick, they forgot to put the chicken in this one! They put water in it instead!" Nick however is tinkering in the garage or whatever he does, so her cries of confusion go unheard.

Jessica sighs and throws the full can of tuna in the trash and looks for something else to eat.

Tuna is safe.
Tuna WINS.

next up... my dad vs. your dad (I don't think this has been done).

Sion 04-04-2004 04:47 AM

my dad would kick your dad's ass.

(what did you think I was gonna say?)


next bout: Marilyn Chamber's pussy vs a 26 inch long, 4 inch diameter ear of corn

MSD 04-04-2004 12:18 PM

The 26-inch ear of corn, inserted sideways, would claim victory.

Next: Who would win? Notoious BIG versus Gary Coelman, boxing.


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