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02-18-2004, 11:15 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Insane
Location: here but I wish I lived there
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Ah yes Denis Leary with his Lock and Load routine. Not a bad stand up comedy CD but his No Cure For Cancer routine is the best both on CD and DVD.
Course my favorite bit is this one... NyQuil. Capital N small y BIG FUCKING Q I love that fucking Q. What a great advertising thing put a big fucking Q on the box. People get high and stare at it the Q is talking to me the Q is talking to me. And Nyquil is the key for all you 12 step recovery people, yes NyQuil is the key its the 13th fucking step, you can drink it its over the counter. Are you drunk? No I have a cold same cold I have had for 2 years just cant seem to shake it. I m high as a kite and my teeth are green Merry fucking christmas. I also think hes a great actor as well.  
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I couldnt think of anything to put here , but I guess anything would do |
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02-18-2004, 11:38 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Insane
Location: Land of milk and honey - Wisconsin
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I have no head for figures
My hands cannot explain Endangered animals and acid rain. I see dead rivers running dry. I see the activists who march and cry How they cry... Singin': Why must we desecrate this land? I'll tell you why: Because we can - That's why Save the whales, save the seals Save the eagle, save the bison and the beach. Why not save your breath? Save the porpoise, and the dolphin Save the gerbil, save the racoon and the rat. Why not save some stamps? I am a human I'm a goddamn human being I walk erect See the cheetah, oh so supple, lean and quick As he chases a gazzelle. But he can't drive a car - At least not very far. I am a human I'm a goddamn human being I can pay for sex "Hey, there's a great show on the Discovery Channel tonight, the history of the badger." "Hmm, I wonder what badger tastes like?" "I don't know, probably tastes like ferret." "Wow, you had ferret?" "Yeah." "What's it taste like?" "Chicken." I am a human I'm a goddamn human being I can wipe my ass What gives you the right to kill at will? I'll tell you what: Guns. Big fuckin' guns with giant fuckin' bullets pal. I am a human I'm a goddamn human being I can shave my balls -"Save This," Denis Leary
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Doing my best not to end up like Kathleen Chang. |
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02-20-2004, 10:07 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Misanthropic
Location: Ohio! yay!
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Life's gonna suck...
Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up Life's gonna suck when you grow up, it sucks pretty bad right now Hey, if you know the words, sing along You're gonna have to mow the lawn, do the dishes, make your bed You're gonna have to go to school until you're seventeen It's gonna seem about tree times as long as that You might have to go to war, shoot a gun, kill a nun You might have to go to war when you get out of school Hey cheer up kids, it gets a lot worse You're gonna have to deal with stress, deal with stress, deal with stress You're gonna be a giant mess when you get back from the war Santa Claus does not exist, and there is no Easter Bunny You'll find out when you grow up that Big Bird isn't funny Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up Life's gonna suck when you grow up, it sucks pretty bad right now You're gonna end up smoking crack, on you're back, face the fact You're gonna end up hooked on smack and then you're gonna die And then you're gonna die
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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx |
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02-21-2004, 10:38 AM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Banned
Location: Bakersfield, CA
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Logged in: Bivens [logout]| Status: Registered
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02-21-2004, 11:57 AM
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#8 (permalink) |
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see the links to my music?
Location: Beautiful British Columbia
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The song is "Asshole" and it's by Dennis Leary. Here are the words:
I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job I'm your average white suburbanite slob I like football and porno and books about war I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor My wife and my job, My kids and my car nMy feet on my tableand a cuban cigar But sometimes that just ain't enough To keep a man like me interested So i've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane While people behind me are going insane Chorus I'm an assholeX2 I use public toilets and I piss on the seats I walk around in the summertime sayin how about this heat Chorus Sometimes I park in handicapped places While handicapped people make handicapped faces Chorus Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong Naaaaaaa Chorus Spoken: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado Convertable, hot pink with whale skin hub-caps and all leather cow interior and big brown babby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah and I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour getting one mile per gallon, sucking down Quarter Pounder cheese burgers from Mc Donalds in the old fasion, non-biodegradible styrofoam containers and when I'm done suckn' down those greaseburgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American flag and then I'm gonna toss those styrofoam containers right out the side and there ain't a god-damned thing you can do about it, you know why? Cause we got the bombs that's why. Two words: Nuclear fucking weapons Ok? Russia, Germany, Romania- they can have all the democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won't make a lick of a difference because we got the bombs OK? John Wayne's not dead-he's frozen. And as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the Duke out and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off he's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpah and a case of whiskey and drive down to Texas. (Hey you know you really are an asshole) Why don't you just shut up and sing the song pal..... I'm an asshole x2 A-S-S-H-O-L-E everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E  |
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02-26-2004, 08:36 PM
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#10 (permalink) |
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Non-smokers die everyday
Location: Montreal
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"So... now you know why I'll never be the President of the United Sates. 'Cuz I would snap like this 18 times a day... Right from the first get-go in the morning:
- "Mister President..." - "WHAAAAT!! Get Air Force One I wanna blow some shit up! And get Harrison Ford and put him on the plane I wanna beat him up I'm pissed off at him." "Yeah, when I'm President, boy, things are gonna change. Oh yeah. Ohhh yeah. Things are gonna change when I'm the President of the United States. Yep... My domestic policy? Fuck you. My foreign policy? fuuuuuuUUUUUUUCK YOU!"
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A plan is just a list of things that don't happen. |
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02-27-2004, 12:34 PM
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#11 (permalink) |
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Loves green eggs and ham
Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round
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Nothing in the world is funnier to me than a good Dennis Leary rant, Rant on Denny, Rant on!
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If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider! Last edited by neddy65; 02-27-2004 at 12:42 PM.. |
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BASTARD
