...stuck on my ukelele?"

"Just push the blue button and...

...coins will fall outta my ass."

"the beat of a drum is like......

...a loud, rhythmic boom."

"If you give a mouse a cookie...

... next thing, he'll be asking for nookie."


"Ask not what your country can do for you...

...but what you can do to your country without getting caught."


"Its not whether you Win or Lose, Its...

... ask what you can do to get out of paying its taxes."


"When you have trouble staying awake in a meeting...

... write a note for everyone else in the meeting letting them know you're about to pass out..... then do so."


"When playing your GameBoy SP in the bathroom at work,...

Pretend you're masturbating, thay'll respect you more, or fear you"



"Each journey begins with just one...

"post."

"then i..."

jammed my fork into the socket vigorously."

"Remember, the only thing we have to fear is....

"scary stuff."

"If I were king...."

"...I'd make all sorts of random laws about things that no one cares about or understands."

"Before you come home, you have to..."

"...leave home in the first place."

"I could swear I..."

...left my pants behind your fridge"

"Dont worry, if anything happens...

I'll marry you.





No, you swerve to HIT a...

mindless pedestrian...50 points after all.

Thats it, you ruined my...