"really a man."

"It's also good when...."

Sion: .... Beba.. The Uthah White Meat!"

Whoa: ..... they don't try biting your hand off, its much easier to drown them that way."


"Who... What.. Where....when.....

.....why are my pants around my ankles?"

"Try not to get your dink caught in.....

"in a blender."

"Where did I put my big..."

... ego?"

"Watch out for..."

"that tree!"

"Now I just.."

"...HIV positive..."


"all good things must..."

"be ate with Tobasci sauce."

"Speaking of Tobasco, where is...."

"...my left big toe?"

"No more..."

...Mr. NotSoNice Guy"



"All good things come to...

"those who are willing to buy it."

"You pierced your...."

"...nose to get attention, and now you're surprised that I'm stalking you?"

"What comes around..."

"... continues to go round and round."

"Unless of course.."

... Is bound be VERY profitable."


"If you drop it,..."

"...it will fall"


"Fire is fun, except..."

...when it burns you after you die, as you can no longer watch it"

"Jello is my...

"...hell"


"Piracy is for..."

dudes with parrots......"

"as........"

...the posts mount"

"see no evil, hear no evil...

.......post no evil."

"Not long until we get our.....

... boy scout badges for nude oil wrestling, right?"



"This is your idea of dinner? I thought it was...

"...just a job at the morgue."


"So then the guy with the monkey cuts off..."

...the audition for the part of "Man at the Bar #3" in his new movie."

"An old friend once told me you should always put your..."

"...penis in the pink hole."


"All we have to fear is..."

...Republicans. And Democrats. And religious fanatics. And fundamentalists. And terrorists. And car-jackers. And hi-jackers. And gang-rapists. And inflation. And unemployment. And road-rage. And...."




"On the information superhighway, I am...

... the unrecognizable roadkill on the center line."



"If there's one thing I've learned from life, it's...

"that the world is, without doubt, flat."

"In my last life I was..."

..kicking ass and chewing bubble gum, but i'm all out of bubble gum"

"tastes great.."

when you suck it."

"Hickory dickory dock .....

my cock itches"

"batteries.."

edited, (faster fingers)

4 pack... $4.99... batteries not included."



"What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar... would he...

...find out what the fuck a klondike bar was first?"

"If you hear a bird sqwak above your head...

then you know that, no it is NOT your mother in law, but a fucking parrot!"

"i really wish i had....."

"...one of those things, ya know, with the stuff on the one end and the doohickey on the other? You know what I mean. One of them."


"Crazy, but that's how it goes, millions of people..."

...running around every day with no clear goals in life. All of them taking advantage of everyone and anyone and generally contributing to the general suffering and destruction of society as we know it."

"On a lighter note...

... I just crapped my pants."

"Would you like to...

...Shit on my chest?" (remember A Teen Movie)


"If there is one thing you must do in life, it is...

... NOT, my mother, you asshole"

"The rash showed up right after I...

......scratched that itch."

why are my pubic hairs......