I'm forming a horde - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

YourNeverThere · 09-10-2003, 01:47 PM

tl;dr but man I'm in

Giant Hamburger · 09-10-2003, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr Scorcex
Also, if I may be so bold, I suggest Hard8s as the next target of our horde. Grammar and spelling and the like have no place in a horde!

Well said Scorcex!

I was about to feed Hard8s his still-beating supercilious black heart for insulting our Khan. Alas, I was at work and didn't have time. Such is the way of the e-barbarian.
-GH

Hard8s · 09-10-2003, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Giant Hamburger
Well said Scorcex!

I was about to feed Hard8s his still-beating supercilious black heart for insulting our Khan. Alas, I was at work and didn't have time. Such is the way of the e-barbarian.
-GH

I see my comments are working already! I think that any person would not mind being pillaged by someone who can use supercilious correctly in a sentance. Also, the grammer is already showing much improvement. We do need to think about the future you know. Whom is going to lead after all the pillaging has finished? There will need to be a government, with many taxes to keep the people downtrodden. Without the correct language and grammer there will be many a loophole. From loophole come uprisings!!!

Ah,screw it bring on da' ho's!!!!

Sion · 09-10-2003, 05:45 PM

*grunt* I am Sion the Flatulent and I am big pillager. I will Horde with you. *grunt*

I bash skulls with morning star, dont want no sissy scimitar.

give me horse and I will crush many mild-mannered villagers in drunken frenzy. MEAD! I must have more MEAD!

grunt

Fremen · 09-11-2003, 12:29 AM

Fremen the Frenetic here, applying for membership with the Horde, Khan.
I have my longbow, but I could use a good scimitar too, as long as it is big and long. I don't want a scimitar that won't reach.

(I wouldn't mind getting my hands on Mjolnir if possible.)
I will settle for this Mjolnir, though.

I also have a wheelbarrow I can bring along.

You never can tell when a good 'barrow will come in handy.
Btw, I need a Percheron to ride if at all feasible. I can't have my mount breaking down on me in the heat of battle.
A donkey will do, as well.

If you want, I can cook, too. I usually cook for myself when I go a-pillaging just so I know what I'm eating.
I don't take chances on being poisoned by slaves.
Oh, we will be taking slaves won't we?
I need someone to push my 'barrow.

In closing, Khan, I just want to say I will make a good member of the Horrific Horde of Horridness...er..Troublebot Horde, due to the fact that I haven't properly bathed in a decade.
I only get wet in unexpected rainshowers or when my refridgerator freezer breaks down and I grab the icetray with too much strength.
Which reminds me. I can beat most schoolgirls furiously upon their fine supple buttoc.....uh..I mean, I can beat most of them at the hundred-yard dash, so if you need one caught, I'm your man.

Thank you for your time.

Yours in bad smell,
Fremen the Frenetic.

uncle phil · 09-11-2003, 03:27 AM

and let's remember guys, it's "pillage," then "burn..."

rockogre · 09-11-2003, 06:03 AM

I can't wait to hear the lamentations of the women.

MikeyChalupa · 09-11-2003, 06:31 AM

Count me out. Last time I saw a HORDE Tour, it was being headlined by the likes of Natalie Merchant and Paula Cole, although Blues Traveler was kinda cool.

-Mikey

Thraeryn · 09-11-2003, 07:33 AM

I hereby move that our Horde slogan be:

We will kill everything, including ourselves!

It is strong, forceful, and to the point. Succinct. I should also like to point out that I will be using my hand and foot claws on anyone who votes against this slogan.

scansinboy · 09-11-2003, 11:26 AM

So, how is this horde thing working out for you?

Troublebot · 09-11-2003, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by scansinboy
So, how is this horde thing working out for you?

Such a foolish question scansinboy!

Do you not see the mighty Troublebot Horde? Tremble before their collected might! Bow down to their superior warrior cunning and proper english! Foul thyself at the mere wiff of their unmanning odor!

Run at tell all that the Troublebot Horde is coming! Prepare yourselves for the pain and aggravation that your puny lives will become when the Horde gallops into your village. Know that the last thing you see will be our might force taking all that was once yours and burning what will not move!

In short, things are going well. You?

Troublebot the Unruffled
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

uncle phil · 09-11-2003, 12:19 PM

how are we doing with the move on redmond, wa?

Troublebot · 09-11-2003, 12:33 PM

Uncle Phil the Tunesmith,

If the Horde is well rested and the horses are ready, we'll ride on Redmond a first light tomorrow. Send Threaryn ahead to scout the best places to pilage and tell GH to get a memo out to the men: Don't drink to much tonight, for there is much to do tomorrow!

Troublebot the Mildly Achey
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

uncle phil · 09-11-2003, 12:37 PM

ok, guys, you heard the man...threaryn, GH, what he said...i'll be in the studio mixing a battle song and a victory song (ooh, ooh, already have a victory song in mind...)

Loki · 09-11-2003, 01:01 PM

Valhalla i am coming!!! (so the answer's yes. Btw, heres a good song for it - Led Zeppelin, the immigrant song)

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.

The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying:
Valhalla, I am coming!

On we sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green,
Can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war.
We are your overlords.

On we sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you’d better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day
Despite of all your losing.

uncle phil · 09-11-2003, 01:03 PM

you go, loki...i may be in need of an apprentice...

Pheatius · 09-11-2003, 01:52 PM

I would love to join the Horde, but I am not into the whole 'No Bathing' thing. I will promise to have a daunting yet calming presence, ready for battle at all times with my body and mind my only weapons. And seeing how I will be the only clean member of the Horde, perhaps I could be a negotiator and ambassador for the Horde before/during/after an invasion.

I pledge my service and loyalty to the Horde and the one who leads it. (Until he or I die in battle.)

Thraeryn · 09-11-2003, 02:33 PM

Pheatius, I do not speak for the Khan, but I can easily see the strength of having an ambassador-type whose stench does not turn the stomachs of those who stand near.

As for the scouting of Redmond, I find that the bank coffers are full, the bank tellers are all shapely and of child-bearing age, and the bank resistances are all dependent upon some form of witchcraft called "micro soft". I have spoken with uncle phil, and he tells me that the two words together mean their defenses are puny and weak, like a mouse.

Victory is already ours!

The Thraeryn,
Whirling Death-Dealer and Chief "Look At Stuff That's Ahead of Everybody Else" Man of The Horde.

uncle phil · 09-11-2003, 04:01 PM

alert...watch out for the students of the northwest graduate school of ministry...they may say prayers against us, or do raindances, or whatever they do...be strong, Hundering Thorde...

Meridae'n · 09-11-2003, 04:29 PM

I am Pim the Pork Squealer, and I will gladly lend my services to pillage, burn, and have sex only in a caring, monogamous matrimonially-bonded relationship for the sole purpose of procreation.

Hard8s · 09-11-2003, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Thraeryn

As for the scouting of Redmond, I find that the bank coffers are full, the bank tellers are all shapely and of child-bearing age, and the bank resistances are all dependent upon some form of witchcraft called "micro soft". I have spoken with uncle phil, and he tells me that the two words together mean their defenses are puny and weak, like a mouse.

Victory is already ours!

The Thraeryn,
Whirling Death-Dealer and Chief "Look At Stuff That's Ahead of Everybody Else" Man of The Horde.

I too have heard of this "micro soft" I have heard they are like "Windows". Easy to smash like glass (watch out for the edges!) One quick throw of a flail and the "Windows" will shatter. We can run roughshod through the "Gates" and then "Bill" them for the damages to our fighting equipment after. Yes after we have taken the women folk and used them to make coffee, meals and babies. Just be sure we do not pick up any "Virus's" as I hear they run rampant in the "Windows". So we may have to bathe after we pillage and burn after all! Besides the womenfolk tend to stick around if we smell clean!

vermin · 09-11-2003, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hard8s
Whom is going to lead after all the pillaging has finished?

The pillaging is NEVER finished. SLASH!! BURN!! HACK!!

rockogre · 09-11-2003, 06:52 PM

So, the morning shall be red. This tribe of micro soft shall know fear at the rise of the sun.

My axe is sharp and moans for the taste of blood.

I have girded my loins with the skin of a linux and sing the battle song of my people.

Uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, wooooo, ah, wooooo, ah, woooweee!

I shall taste the still beating heart of a programming drone before the sun rises to midday.

Even now the beserker fever flows through my veins wanting only blood and slaughter.

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

krazykemist · 09-12-2003, 02:54 AM

The Anger Management class was all full up. I think your cause would fulfill the same purpose though.

If thou shalst haveth me I will be known unto thee as
Krazykemist the Emulsifier.

With the alchemical secrets of many an ancient culture may no structure stand in my way!

(You have punch and cookies too right?)

Troublebot · 09-12-2003, 05:14 AM

Before we begin our attack, I'd like to welcome our newest members to the Horde. I'm sure your skills and bloodlust will be very useful in the pilaging ahead.

You, the clean guy over there, I name you Pheatius the Anal Retentive. You shall be our bearer of goodwill to those we leave alive. Stay towards the back of the horde please, I don't want people thinking this horde has gone all soft.

Tinfoil the Unholy, prepare a press release on our upcoming raid.

Now Horde, if you are ready, let's make this a day the citizens of Redmond will never forget.

Charge!!

rockogre · 09-12-2003, 06:38 AM

Redmond shall rue the day that Buttcrust the Berserker came to call.

Ahhhh, the smell of smoke, blood, and secretaries. Worker drones fall like wheat before the sickle as my axe sings a song of death about me.

My axe verily smokes as it tastes the blood of its first redundant middle manager.

Ah, to see my enemies flee before me, life is good. (That secretary in the vinyl mini isn't too bad either).

What's this? Server farm drones attempt to hold the door! Do they not know that their time of fatal error is at hand? Their bodies will but serve as a carpet for our feet and their reams of data just a magnetic memory amidst the debris. The door is like a paper to a razor as my axe bites again and again.

Come to me drones, your death is at hand!

Giant Hamburger · 09-12-2003, 07:09 AM

Their eyes will fill with the tears of defeat
and fall like the blood drips from the lips of their dying men.

Troublebot · 09-12-2003, 07:29 AM

Do not forget men, first pick of the buxom tellers is mine.

It's good to be the Kahn.

rockogre · 09-12-2003, 07:39 AM

My apologies Kahn, in the excitement some of the women were despoiled but they were probably not of the caliber you require anyhow.

Troublebot · 09-12-2003, 07:46 AM

Not a problem, my faithful Buttcrust. I understand how the battle can sweep a blood red cloud over a warrior's judgement.

Your picture reminds me of a t-shirt I had when I was young. Or, perhaps it was a Molly Hatchet album.

So, are there still pockets of resistence, or had we taken the town? Is anyone wounded? I need an report on our progress!

Thraeryn · 09-12-2003, 08:08 AM

*tries to scream back a report, but simply roars in bloodlust as he kills dogs, cats, and great metal beasts (all the people being gone)*

Troublebot · 09-12-2003, 08:14 AM

Someone want to get Thraeryn some thorazine? He's destroying pilagable stuff.

Eweser · 09-12-2003, 09:23 AM

i come to the Horde as Eweser the Short-Tempered, the death dealing companion of Buttcrust the Berserker. i bring my spear, as i feel it is not proper for a female to carry a scimitar, and the conniving and wily ways of a woman. i will infiltrate enemy camps and capture it's leaders and hold them for the Khan to do with them what he will. I will spread word to their harems of the Horde's mighty and brave warriors.

Pheatius · 09-12-2003, 09:23 AM

O Greatly Stench-o-fied One. I have received a request for cease and desist from a group Redmond residents that claim to have been Mac users. They say they made it out alive because our weapons were not compatible with them. They offer their computers, money, houses and yet to be despoiled women folk (and men for those of you of that flavor) to us in exchange for their lives and safe passage out the carnage.

What say thee O Unbathed Leader of the Stinking Horde?

uncle phil · 09-12-2003, 09:40 AM

Well, I heard some people talking just the other day
and they said you were gonna put me on a shelf.
But let me tell you I got some news for you and you'll soon find out it's true
and then you'll have to eat your lunch all by yourself.
Cause I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong,
I will sing this victory song, woo, hoo, hoo, woo, hoo, hoo.

The letter that you wrote me made me stop and wonder why
but I guess you felt like you had to set things right.
Just remember this, my girl, when you look up in the sky,
you can see the stars and still not see the light (that's right).
And I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong. I will sing this victory song.

Well, I know it wasn't you who held me down.
Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free.
So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
and we never even know we have the key.
But me, I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong.
I will sing this victory song cause I'm already gone.
Yes, I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong.
I will sing this victory song cause I'm already gone.
Yes, I'm already gone, already gone, all right, nighty-night…

rockogre · 09-12-2003, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pheatius
O Greatly Stench-o-fied One. I have received a request for cease and desist from a group Redmond residents that claim to have been Mac users. They say they made it out alive because our weapons were not compatible with them. They offer their computers, money, houses and yet to be despoiled women folk (and men for those of you of that flavor) to us in exchange for their lives and safe passage out the carnage.

What say thee O Unbathed Leader of the Stinking Horde?

Are they willing to fly the Penguin Flag of the nation of Linux? It SHALL fly over the ruins of the castle of Gates. Their tribe sounds too weak to even pillage, BAH!

What say you Kahn?

Troublebot · 09-12-2003, 10:03 AM

To show that I am a great and honorable Kahn, I will agree to the terms the mac users set forth. Remind them to leave quickly, for if we see them on the 'morrow, fate will not be so kind.

As the Kahn says, so it shall be.

Troublebot · 09-12-2003, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Eweser
i come to the Horde as Eweser the Short-Tempered, the death dealing companion of Buttcrust the Berserker. i bring my spear, as i feel it is not proper for a female to carry a scimitar, and the conniving and wily ways of a woman. i will infiltrate enemy camps and capture it's leaders and hold them for the Khan to do with them what he will. I will spread word to their harems of the Horde's mighty and brave warriors.

Finally! A warrior queen equal to the rage of her berserker mate!

Glad to have you in the Horde, Eweser the Short-Tempered!

rockogre · 09-12-2003, 10:25 AM

Oh great Kahn, Eweser has sworn on my orbs of manhood that she will be avenged for your slight on her warrior status. She is not my mate and has made mention of ripping your head off and spitting down your neck.

She is most terrifying in her wrath and I fear for even your safety.

I trust that you will handle this in a most diplomatic fashion as my orbs of manhood are sacred to me and I would miss them much.

She is truly named for her temper is shorter than the moment between thoughts.

If it all goes bad I will miss you.

tinfoil · 09-12-2003, 10:30 AM

For immediate release:

The Horde ™ is pleased to announce the impending downfall of Redmond, home of the Micro softies.

Troublebot the Mildly Unruffled, President and CEO (Chief Executions Officer) of The Horde had the following to say of the latest crusade: “While reveling in the bounty pillaged from our more recent West Virginia takeover, it was quickly decided that we act against one of the most vile of the vile, the Micro soft clan before they can unleash any more horrors on the citizens of Redmond.”

Joel Clien, assistant attorney general has applauded the move saying that The Horde will do in a day what we were unable to do in years.

Micro soft officials first responded by attempting to purchase The Horde. Pheatius the Anal Retentive, while meeting with the officials, declined the offer. Sources inside Micro soft say that the clan is now attempting to create their own horde, but is having trouble licensing some technology from rival clan, SCO.

Troublebot the Painfully Flatulant has also issued a statement granting immunity for small bands of revolutionaries currently stationed in Redmond. The bands fall under the Macintosh and Penguin banners. "Let this be a lesson to those who have not chosen sides. Side with our enemies and you shall be ground beneath our unlaced boots. Side with us and you shall be given 4% of the bounty"*

* only if the battle takes place on the second wednsesday of any given week.

----

The Horde (TM) is a newly formed organization with aims to revolutionalise the looting industry.

Formed in 2003, The Horde began it's whirlwind tour with the succesful takeover of Rodeo Drive. Pundits have hailed the move as impressive and as a mark of The Horde's mastery.

The Horde is available for private parties and state / country takeovers. Please contact Troublebot for more information.

09-10-2003, 01:47 PM	#41 (permalink)
YourNeverThere Practical Anarchist Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood	tl;dr but man I'm in __________________ The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

09-10-2003, 05:45 PM	#44 (permalink)
Sion Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.	grunt I am Sion the Flatulent and I am big pillager. I will Horde with you. grunt I bash skulls with morning star, dont want no sissy scimitar. give me horse and I will crush many mild-mannered villagers in drunken frenzy. MEAD! I must have more MEAD! grunt __________________ He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

09-11-2003, 03:27 AM	#46 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	and let's remember guys, it's "pillage," then "burn..." __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-11-2003, 06:03 AM	#47 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	I can't wait to hear the lamentations of the women. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

09-11-2003, 11:26 AM	#50 (permalink)
scansinboy Insane Location: Milwaukee	So, how is this horde thing working out for you? __________________ Don't blame me... I voted for Kodos!

09-11-2003, 12:29 AM	#45 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Fremen the Frenetic here, applying for membership with the Horde, Khan. I have my longbow, but I could use a good scimitar too, as long as it is big and long. I don't want a scimitar that won't reach. (I wouldn't mind getting my hands on Mjolnir if possible.) I will settle for this Mjolnir, though. I also have a wheelbarrow I can bring along. You never can tell when a good 'barrow will come in handy. Btw, I need a Percheron to ride if at all feasible. I can't have my mount breaking down on me in the heat of battle. A donkey will do, as well. If you want, I can cook, too. I usually cook for myself when I go a-pillaging just so I know what I'm eating. I don't take chances on being poisoned by slaves. Oh, we will be taking slaves won't we? I need someone to push my 'barrow. In closing, Khan, I just want to say I will make a good member of the Horrific Horde of Horridness...er..Troublebot Horde, due to the fact that I haven't properly bathed in a decade. I only get wet in unexpected rainshowers or when my refridgerator freezer breaks down and I grab the icetray with too much strength. Which reminds me. I can beat most schoolgirls furiously upon their fine supple buttoc.....uh..I mean, I can beat most of them at the hundred-yard dash, so if you need one caught, I'm your man. Thank you for your time. Yours in bad smell, Fremen the Frenetic.

09-11-2003, 06:31 AM	#48 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	Count me out. Last time I saw a HORDE Tour, it was being headlined by the likes of Natalie Merchant and Paula Cole, although Blues Traveler was kinda cool. -Mikey

09-11-2003, 07:33 AM	#49 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	I hereby move that our Horde slogan be: We will kill everything, including ourselves! It is strong, forceful, and to the point. Succinct. I should also like to point out that I will be using my hand and foot claws on anyone who votes against this slogan.

09-11-2003, 12:19 PM	#52 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	how are we doing with the move on redmond, wa? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-11-2003, 12:33 PM	#53 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Uncle Phil the Tunesmith, If the Horde is well rested and the horses are ready, we'll ride on Redmond a first light tomorrow. Send Threaryn ahead to scout the best places to pilage and tell GH to get a memo out to the men: Don't drink to much tonight, for there is much to do tomorrow! Troublebot the Mildly Achey Kahn, Troublebot Horde __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-11-2003, 12:37 PM	#54 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ok, guys, you heard the man...threaryn, GH, what he said...i'll be in the studio mixing a battle song and a victory song (ooh, ooh, already have a victory song in mind...) __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-11-2003, 01:01 PM	#55 (permalink)
Loki Psycho Location: Drifting.	Valhalla i am coming!!! (so the answer's yes. Btw, heres a good song for it - Led Zeppelin, the immigrant song) We come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow. The hammer of the gods Will drive our ships to new lands, To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming! On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore. We come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow. How soft your fields so green, Can whisper tales of gore, Of how we calmed the tides of war. We are your overlords. On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore. So now you’d better stop and rebuild all your ruins, For peace and trust can win the day Despite of all your losing.

09-11-2003, 01:03 PM	#56 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	you go, loki...i may be in need of an apprentice... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-11-2003, 01:52 PM	#57 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	I would love to join the Horde, but I am not into the whole 'No Bathing' thing. I will promise to have a daunting yet calming presence, ready for battle at all times with my body and mind my only weapons. And seeing how I will be the only clean member of the Horde, perhaps I could be a negotiator and ambassador for the Horde before/during/after an invasion. I pledge my service and loyalty to the Horde and the one who leads it. (Until he or I die in battle.)

09-11-2003, 02:33 PM	#58 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Pheatius, I do not speak for the Khan, but I can easily see the strength of having an ambassador-type whose stench does not turn the stomachs of those who stand near. As for the scouting of Redmond, I find that the bank coffers are full, the bank tellers are all shapely and of child-bearing age, and the bank resistances are all dependent upon some form of witchcraft called "micro soft". I have spoken with uncle phil, and he tells me that the two words together mean their defenses are puny and weak, like a mouse. Victory is already ours! The Thraeryn, Whirling Death-Dealer and Chief "Look At Stuff That's Ahead of Everybody Else" Man of The Horde.

09-11-2003, 04:01 PM	#59 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	alert...watch out for the students of the northwest graduate school of ministry...they may say prayers against us, or do raindances, or whatever they do...be strong, Hundering Thorde... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-11-2003, 04:29 PM	#60 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	I am Pim the Pork Squealer, and I will gladly lend my services to pillage, burn, and have sex only in a caring, monogamous matrimonially-bonded relationship for the sole purpose of procreation. __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

09-11-2003, 06:52 PM	#63 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	So, the morning shall be red. This tribe of micro soft shall know fear at the rise of the sun. My axe is sharp and moans for the taste of blood. I have girded my loins with the skin of a linux and sing the battle song of my people. Uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, wooooo, ah, wooooo, ah, woooweee! I shall taste the still beating heart of a programming drone before the sun rises to midday. Even now the beserker fever flows through my veins wanting only blood and slaughter. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

09-12-2003, 02:54 AM	#64 (permalink)
krazykemist Psycho Location: New Orleans	The Anger Management class was all full up. I think your cause would fulfill the same purpose though. If thou shalst haveth me I will be known unto thee as Krazykemist the Emulsifier. With the alchemical secrets of many an ancient culture may no structure stand in my way! (You have punch and cookies too right?) __________________ "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -- Tolstoy

09-12-2003, 05:14 AM	#65 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Before we begin our attack, I'd like to welcome our newest members to the Horde. I'm sure your skills and bloodlust will be very useful in the pilaging ahead. You, the clean guy over there, I name you Pheatius the Anal Retentive. You shall be our bearer of goodwill to those we leave alive. Stay towards the back of the horde please, I don't want people thinking this horde has gone all soft. Tinfoil the Unholy, prepare a press release on our upcoming raid. Now Horde, if you are ready, let's make this a day the citizens of Redmond will never forget. Charge!! __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-12-2003, 06:38 AM	#66 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	Redmond shall rue the day that Buttcrust the Berserker came to call. Ahhhh, the smell of smoke, blood, and secretaries. Worker drones fall like wheat before the sickle as my axe sings a song of death about me. My axe verily smokes as it tastes the blood of its first redundant middle manager. Ah, to see my enemies flee before me, life is good. (That secretary in the vinyl mini isn't too bad either). What's this? Server farm drones attempt to hold the door! Do they not know that their time of fatal error is at hand? Their bodies will but serve as a carpet for our feet and their reams of data just a magnetic memory amidst the debris. The door is like a paper to a razor as my axe bites again and again. Come to me drones, your death is at hand! __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

09-12-2003, 07:09 AM	#67 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Their eyes will fill with the tears of defeat and fall like the blood drips from the lips of their dying men.

09-12-2003, 07:29 AM	#68 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Do not forget men, first pick of the buxom tellers is mine. It's good to be the Kahn. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-12-2003, 07:39 AM	#69 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	My apologies Kahn, in the excitement some of the women were despoiled but they were probably not of the caliber you require anyhow. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

09-12-2003, 07:46 AM	#70 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Not a problem, my faithful Buttcrust. I understand how the battle can sweep a blood red cloud over a warrior's judgement. Your picture reminds me of a t-shirt I had when I was young. Or, perhaps it was a Molly Hatchet album. So, are there still pockets of resistence, or had we taken the town? Is anyone wounded? I need an report on our progress! __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-12-2003, 08:08 AM	#71 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	tries to scream back a report, but simply roars in bloodlust as he kills dogs, cats, and great metal beasts (all the people being gone)

09-12-2003, 08:14 AM	#72 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Someone want to get Thraeryn some thorazine? He's destroying pilagable stuff. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-12-2003, 09:23 AM	#73 (permalink)
Eweser Psycho Location: O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A	i come to the Horde as Eweser the Short-Tempered, the death dealing companion of Buttcrust the Berserker. i bring my spear, as i feel it is not proper for a female to carry a scimitar, and the conniving and wily ways of a woman. i will infiltrate enemy camps and capture it's leaders and hold them for the Khan to do with them what he will. I will spread word to their harems of the Horde's mighty and brave warriors. __________________ "Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

09-12-2003, 09:23 AM	#74 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	O Greatly Stench-o-fied One. I have received a request for cease and desist from a group Redmond residents that claim to have been Mac users. They say they made it out alive because our weapons were not compatible with them. They offer their computers, money, houses and yet to be despoiled women folk (and men for those of you of that flavor) to us in exchange for their lives and safe passage out the carnage. What say thee O Unbathed Leader of the Stinking Horde?

09-12-2003, 09:40 AM	#75 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Well, I heard some people talking just the other day and they said you were gonna put me on a shelf. But let me tell you I got some news for you and you'll soon find out it's true and then you'll have to eat your lunch all by yourself. Cause I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong, I will sing this victory song, woo, hoo, hoo, woo, hoo, hoo. The letter that you wrote me made me stop and wonder why but I guess you felt like you had to set things right. Just remember this, my girl, when you look up in the sky, you can see the stars and still not see the light (that's right). And I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong. I will sing this victory song. Well, I know it wasn't you who held me down. Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free. So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key. But me, I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong. I will sing this victory song cause I'm already gone. Yes, I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong. I will sing this victory song cause I'm already gone. Yes, I'm already gone, already gone, all right, nighty-night… __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-12-2003, 10:03 AM	#77 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	To show that I am a great and honorable Kahn, I will agree to the terms the mac users set forth. Remind them to leave quickly, for if we see them on the 'morrow, fate will not be so kind. As the Kahn says, so it shall be. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-12-2003, 10:25 AM	#79 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	Oh great Kahn, Eweser has sworn on my orbs of manhood that she will be avenged for your slight on her warrior status. She is not my mate and has made mention of ripping your head off and spitting down your neck. She is most terrifying in her wrath and I fear for even your safety. I trust that you will handle this in a most diplomatic fashion as my orbs of manhood are sacred to me and I would miss them much. She is truly named for her temper is shorter than the moment between thoughts. If it all goes bad I will miss you. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom Last edited by rockogre; 09-12-2003 at 10:30 AM..

09-12-2003, 10:30 AM	#80 (permalink)
tinfoil Fucking Hostile Location: Springford, ON, Canada	For immediate release: The Horde ™ is pleased to announce the impending downfall of Redmond, home of the Micro softies. Troublebot the Mildly Unruffled, President and CEO (Chief Executions Officer) of The Horde had the following to say of the latest crusade: “While reveling in the bounty pillaged from our more recent West Virginia takeover, it was quickly decided that we act against one of the most vile of the vile, the Micro soft clan before they can unleash any more horrors on the citizens of Redmond.” Joel Clien, assistant attorney general has applauded the move saying that The Horde will do in a day what we were unable to do in years. Micro soft officials first responded by attempting to purchase The Horde. Pheatius the Anal Retentive, while meeting with the officials, declined the offer. Sources inside Micro soft say that the clan is now attempting to create their own horde, but is having trouble licensing some technology from rival clan, SCO. Troublebot the Painfully Flatulant has also issued a statement granting immunity for small bands of revolutionaries currently stationed in Redmond. The bands fall under the Macintosh and Penguin banners. "Let this be a lesson to those who have not chosen sides. Side with our enemies and you shall be ground beneath our unlaced boots. Side with us and you shall be given 4% of the bounty"* * only if the battle takes place on the second wednsesday of any given week. ---- The Horde (TM) is a newly formed organization with aims to revolutionalise the looting industry. Formed in 2003, The Horde began it's whirlwind tour with the succesful takeover of Rodeo Drive. Pundits have hailed the move as impressive and as a mark of The Horde's mastery. The Horde is available for private parties and state / country takeovers. Please contact Troublebot for more information. __________________ Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.