The seven immutable truths - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

John_Gault · 05-01-2003, 10:59 AM

When I was younger a wise old Chinese man taught me the seven immutable truths of life and they have proved invaluable (O.K. he wasn't old and he wasn't chinese but he was wise). They are:

1. Don’t fuck with someone whose better at it than you are
2. Always leave yourself an out
3. You do NOT want to go to jail
4. Assholes were born that way and will never change
5. Revenge is a dish best served cold
6. It’s always better after you puke
7. Chances are you are smarter than the guy at the front of the line

What can you add to this list?

chodarama · 05-01-2003, 02:59 PM

The most famous of all?

8. If anything can go wrong, it will.

meanSpleen · 05-01-2003, 03:28 PM

9. Because anything can go wrong, always have someone else to blame.

WhoaitsZ · 05-01-2003, 03:33 PM

10. Always expect the worse so you will never be let down.

ariekitten · 05-01-2003, 04:24 PM

11. never criticize someone till you've walked a mile in their shoes....that way, when you criticize, you're a mile away and you have their shoes

John_Gault · 05-01-2003, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by meanSpleen
9. Because anything can go wrong, always have someone else to blame.

Hey MeanSpleen, I think that's number 2.

I like the other additions too.

MikeyChalupa · 05-01-2003, 06:10 PM

12. If she has a tattoo, she fucks. If she smokes, she fucks. If she only smokes when she drinks, she takes it up the ass.
13. No matter how beautiful she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.
14. For every "hottie" there is an equal and opposite "nottie".

-Mikey

uncle phil · 05-01-2003, 06:12 PM

don't draw to an inside straight...

John_Gault · 05-01-2003, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MikeyChalupa
13. No matter how beautiful she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.
-Mikey

That has been written on the batroom door of a bar called Duddley's Draw in College Station, TX for at least the last 10 years. About every 8 months or so they scrub down the bathroom and paint the walls, but they always leave that saying on the door. Dudds is a great place to drink beer.

vermin · 05-01-2003, 07:07 PM

16. If you scratch it, it will get infected.
17. Don't pick at it.
18. If you're ever caught jerkin' it, use the excuse "I was cleaning it and it just went off!"

05-01-2003, 10:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
John_Gault Crazy Location: Beach House on the Moon	The seven immutable truths When I was younger a wise old Chinese man taught me the seven immutable truths of life and they have proved invaluable (O.K. he wasn't old and he wasn't chinese but he was wise). They are: 1. Don’t fuck with someone whose better at it than you are 2. Always leave yourself an out 3. You do NOT want to go to jail 4. Assholes were born that way and will never change 5. Revenge is a dish best served cold 6. It’s always better after you puke 7. Chances are you are smarter than the guy at the front of the line What can you add to this list? __________________ The battle against abject stupidity cannot be fought with reason. I am Head inquisitor in qpid's liberation army so we can take over the world before Microsoft does... Join the Revolution!

05-01-2003, 03:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
meanSpleen Squid hat! Location: A Few Miles Away From Halx	9. Because anything can go wrong, always have someone else to blame. __________________ Like TFP? Donate To Keep It Alive!!

05-01-2003, 04:24 PM	#5 (permalink)
ariekitten bAck iN aCtiOn! Location: in my imagination	11. never criticize someone till you've walked a mile in their shoes....that way, when you criticize, you're a mile away and you have their shoes __________________ I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call. ~Vash, Trigun >'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~

05-01-2003, 06:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	don't draw to an inside straight... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

05-01-2003, 07:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	16. If you scratch it, it will get infected. 17. Don't pick at it. 18. If you're ever caught jerkin' it, use the excuse "I was cleaning it and it just went off!" __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

05-01-2003, 02:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
chodarama Insane Location: a van, down by the river	The most famous of all? 8. If anything can go wrong, it will.

05-01-2003, 03:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
WhoaitsZ Crazy Location: right behind you...	10. Always expect the worse so you will never be let down.

05-01-2003, 06:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	12. If she has a tattoo, she fucks. If she smokes, she fucks. If she only smokes when she drinks, she takes it up the ass. 13. No matter how beautiful she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit. 14. For every "hottie" there is an equal and opposite "nottie". -Mikey