The seven immutable truths
 

When I was younger a wise old Chinese man taught me the seven immutable truths of life and they have proved invaluable (O.K. he wasn't old and he wasn't chinese but he was wise). They are:

1. Don’t fuck with someone whose better at it than you are
2. Always leave yourself an out
3. You do NOT want to go to jail
4. Assholes were born that way and will never change
5. Revenge is a dish best served cold
6. It’s always better after you puke
7. Chances are you are smarter than the guy at the front of the line


What can you add to this list?

The most famous of all?

8. If anything can go wrong, it will.

9. Because anything can go wrong, always have someone else to blame.

10. Always expect the worse so you will never be let down.

11. never criticize someone till you've walked a mile in their shoes....that way, when you criticize, you're a mile away and you have their shoes ;)

Hey MeanSpleen, I think that's number 2. ;)

I like the other additions too.

12. If she has a tattoo, she fucks. If she smokes, she fucks. If she only smokes when she drinks, she takes it up the ass.
13. No matter how beautiful she is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.
14. For every "hottie" there is an equal and opposite "nottie".

-Mikey

don't draw to an inside straight...

That has been written on the batroom door of a bar called Duddley's Draw in College Station, TX for at least the last 10 years. About every 8 months or so they scrub down the bathroom and paint the walls, but they always leave that saying on the door. Dudds is a great place to drink beer.

16. If you scratch it, it will get infected.
17. Don't pick at it.
18. If you're ever caught jerkin' it, use the excuse "I was cleaning it and it just went off!" :)