krwlz

Here is where I would like to hear all of your best, most creative, and/or vulgar insults!

Anything you ever came up with or heard.

Also any insults you have heard that never quite made sense...maybe someone can shed light on them.


Such as, "cocksucking whore". My grandfather always said that, but i could never figure out why sucking cock made it a worse insult then just plain whore...

Lebell

From a friend:

(insert explitive), you stupid sack of siberian sheep shit.

There was a classic rant on another board I used to go to, I'll see if I can find it. My toes curled reading it.

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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The_Dude

how about "gay fag"??

i always thought that was repetitive and really stupid to use those 2 words like that.

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"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal

Somenosuke

I once called someone a speck of unwashed c*nt cheese. Other insults I've used: crusty botch of nature, son of a whorish c*ntstack, as well as "ugly, dog-faced spawn of a boil-ridden anus" Um.. let's see.. what else.. I've told people to choke on cock and die, and probably lots of others I've forgotten. Oh yeah, I've also called people cock vultures. Some of those insults are originals, some of them are not.

edit: I also told someone that they have a dog's c*nt for a brain. I was on a huge c*nt kick that night, I guess. :P

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

krwlz

i always liked the "waste of air/space"

once during a soccer game i said "i know your fathers your brother, and your mother is an imbred whore, but that doesnt mean you have to be so nasty!"

gibber71

Intellectual lightweight
Shit for brains
Dickwad
Asswipe
Dumb fuck

rockogre

Inbreeder!

You couldn't get laid at a cluster fuck.

15 minutes and $15,000 don't make you a biker.

You don't have the brains God gave a bag of dirt.

You're such a suck up I bet you could suck start a Harley.

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Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

krwlz

I LOVE IT, im adding all of these to my arsenal! keep em coming!

"more texture to his face then a burlap sack!"

jets

My favz:

- Lemmie get this straight - YOU were the quickest and smartest of all the dumb-ass sperm yer dad shot off?!?!

Cuntsmack
Dogfucker
MaggotShit

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Hey. Wasn't Me.

cub4life78

Now THAT one was funny! HAHAHA

gibber71

If I could fuck myself I wouldn't need you.
Lick my crack

Spungfoo

This is from my friend Al, in all seriousness, not trying to be funny or corny, yelling back at a carload of idiots that were drive by-heckling us:

YOUR MOTHER"S A DUM-DUM!

I still make fun of him for that to this day.

JumpinJesus

A friend once said this to a drunk girl at a party, "You've only got 3 brain cells left and they're all fighting for attention."

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

clavus

Hairy-nippled bitch
Ball-less bag of pus
Dick-hole
Rhino-clit

Fuck you. Fuck you to DEATH!

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

w3r7y

what?

I always say, and I quote:

"You fuckin gayfag"
"Fuck you behotch"
"fag"
"assfuck"
"dipshit"
"fuckin queer"
"fagfuck"
"biznatch"
"fucktard"

That's about the extent of my intelligence, I have nothing against homo's, I swear...
No really
I don't.

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"oderint dum metuant"
-Caligura
You say Tomato, I say Fuck you.

XHydralisk

this one was in the old humour board.

"The smartest thing to ever come out of your mouth, is my cock"

gibber71

Your breath is so bad that eating a shit sandwich would be an improvement.

I don't know if Guinness has a record for the longest time sucking a flaccid cock,honey!

Don't think of your leg's as tree trunks,think of them as anchors.

I'm more worried about falling asleep than cumming in your mouth.

Go ahead and eat another bucket of dirty bird.The extra 20 pounds won't even be a pimple on your ass.

Of course my dick tastes like shit.Do you think I just pulled it out of a jelly donut?








Be thankful I'm pulling your ears and not your hair.

myMHz

I once called my ex-wife "Stupid sperm burping bitch"

The best part of you ran down your daddies leg.

You wanna play the dozens?
The dozens is the game!
But the way I fuck your mother
is a Goddamn shame!

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"The radio business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.

There's also a negative side."

Nad Adam

If you want a proper insuly you need to go to yugoslavia:
I will have a horse with a bloody cock take your daughters virginity on your mothers grave.


Classy.

MikeyChalupa

I loved that one and have added it to my repertoire. I save it for REALLY good occasions.

My usual one-word name for a stupid person however, is doorknob.

"I told him to be at work at 6AM but he forgot to set his clock ahead and he showed up an hour late, and in the wrong uniform. Fuckin' doorknob."

-Mikey

gibber71

Your deodorant smells like french onion soup.What brand is it?

Your pit marks match nicely with your tie.

I've heard of deodorants that let you skip a day but where did you find one that let's you skip a week.

Ya your right,using deodorant soap is just like using deodorant.

I know the French don't believe in deodorant.Do you have hairy armpits too?

SpoilSport

< insert name here> has about three brain cells and two of them are busy holding the asshole shut.

Wow, you're about as useful as tits on a nun.

Gee, your vagina must be killing you...
(to be used when a male agonizes too long on a decision)

I wouldn't fuck you with someone else's dick.

Eat the corn out of my shit.

In response to "Fuck You":

No thanks, your mom wore me out.


Names that do not require additional dialog:

Ball Grabbing Circus Monkey

Pud Pounding Shit Goblin


and one that cracks me up and I don't know why:

Slut Bag!

MUSV

This comes off the olde board. There was a story to this last time, and I dont want to steal someone elses thunder, but it was a great insult:
Guy says in a crowd to his ex: "The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth was my dick"

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I gotta bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham...

-Nelly in Grillz

Hycdubg

I have found using anything that relates to menstruation or vaginal cleanliness has been the most effective.

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Alice, that dog has been licking his own asshole for three hours. I would venture to say that there is nothing there that requires more than an hour's attention. So I would suggest that whatever he's attempting to dislodge is either gone for good....or there to stay.

-The Long Kiss Goodnight_

rockogre

What? You got douche water for brains?

__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

bullgoose

I bet your father's really sorry he didn't jerk off THAT night!

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"If I had it to do all over,
I'd do it all over you."

rockogre

So, that's what it looks like when cousins marry.

__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

Daval

sometimes when a freind of mine gets really on my nerves i call him a low class, stupid, trailer trash piece of shit.

drives him insane.

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"It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it."
Winston Churchill

Bob Biter

When someone does/says something stupid that irritates me:

"Shit, maybe you were conceived with a weak sperm or something, like your dad was jacking off and your mom sat on it at the last second."

Thank you, Bill Hicks.

Old 1-word standbys:

- Fucktard
- Assmonkey
- Asshat

I like this thread.

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A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

gibber71

Your perjorative nature is a real inspiration.

Cognitively speaking,your ineptitude is very rewarding.

If I were as smart as you,I'd be speechless.

For someone so predisposed to ignorance,you really give good advice.

For someone who knows everything,is it hard to understand what you don't?

SaltPork

Cum guzzling closet faggot.
Sperm burping cum dumpster.
Load swallowing gutter slut.

That's all for now.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

Ambition

If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards

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Looking for answers to questions that can't be answered.

World's King

My fav has always been, "lick my ass."

And if they are freaky... I might get a rim job out of it.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Fallon

From a song, any disturbed people know it. Stupid sadistic abussive fucking whore

G0dd3ss

I'll have to remember that one.

I like to call people Subtarded Fucksticks...I heard a friend say it once and it's stuck with me ever since.

limited

clitbiter is popular with me
so is beerslut, and occaionally i'll lace out an fucknut or two.
When I'm around friends, racial and ethnic slurs form a small part of my vocab too

Mael

i wouldn't call that repetitive. since gay is fag's adjective. so calling someone a gay fag would be describing a fag as gay. and if a fag is gay, doesn't that make him straight?

gibber71

No,that makes him happy...

krwlz

and the arsenal grows...thanks guys!

vermin

Fucktard is funny, haven't had a chance to use it 'cause the first I'd ever heard of it was about 3 months ago and I'm a hellava nice guy.

To a large person standing between me and the television: "You make a better Alp than a window".

And the old favorite (which seems to cut pretty deep sometimes):
"Nobody even likes you. We just put up with you because we feel sorry for you".

Oh, yeah, and the expression "Fuckin' fuckers fuckin' fuckitty fuck".

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.