Latch

To get most the wrinkles out of a shirt without ironing it (you lazy bastard) hang it on the end of the shower curtain (away from the water so it doesn't get wet) and take a long hot/steamy shower.. the steam should help get most the wrinkles out!

:::OshnSoul:::

Dolphins can swim and sleep at the same time.

Astrocloud

Elephants masturbate with their trunks

splck

The gain on a powerpole is 12 feet from the butt.

__________________
nice line eh?

mystmarimatt

The longest name of a city in the world is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-Llantsysiliogogogoch, Wales

On average, ever glass of London tap water has passed through the bladders of 9 other people.

Before turning to a lifestyle of tyrannical war-mongering, Genghis Khan was a goatherd. He would later kill his brother in an argument over a fish.

The man considered the worst ever english-speaking published poet was William McGonagall. Ironically, his calling card proclaimed "W.M McGONAGALL: Lyrics Inditer and Reciter, Poetry Promptly Executed."

the artist Piero Manzoni was the sole exponent of the art movement arte povera, where he exhibited cans of his own excrement.

Arthur Conan Doyle used Cocaine. So did his creation, Sherlock Holmes.

Plato believed pop music led to low morals.

Mary, Queen of Scots, was bald.

King Edward II was executed by having a red-hot poker thrust up his rectum. This was considered a very clever execution, considering his crime: He pissed off the noblety by being flagrantly gay.

King Richard I (The Lionhearted) couldn't speak English, and spent less than 2 years in England during his whole reign.

During the First Crusade, a band of desperate religious hysterics marched behind a goose which they believed was filled with the Holy Spirit.

In striking irony, On July 4, 1776, King George III wrote "Nothing of importance happened today." in his diary.

__________________
Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

KellyC

There are about 1 million parasects living in our body.

Parasects make up more than half of earth's living animals.

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

Cujo

And there is a small town in Newfoundland Canada called Dildo

bparker805

Useless at its best:

The billionth digit of pi is 9.

Derwood

Urine is sterile.

__________________
"You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel

CryptikSoul

The clit has twice as many nerve fibers as the penis.

__________________
"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat. "We're all mad here.
I'm mad, you're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

Fly

and the gain is usually 5 to 6 feet above ground.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Fremen

Dog food doesn't taste as good as it smells.

__________________
Google

himself

Did you know: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true?

Mister B

I've tried the thing with returning Nike shoes. They just sent them back to me and said there was nothing they could do.

Maybe mine weren't in that bad of condition though

__________________
"Little racoons and old possums 'n' stuff all live up in here. They've got to have a little place to sit." Bob Ross.

mtn_biker30

If you are caught in a riptide it is best to swim parallel to the shore...

:::OshnSoul:::

The magic word 'Abracadabra' was originally intended for the specific purpose of curing hay fever.

TheClarkster

Smelly old oxnard? I never would've guessed.

Hmm, my contribution...
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line
would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

__________________
Do not speak Latin in front of the books.

:::OshnSoul:::

Here's one for ya:

Adolf Hitler was one of the people that was responsible in the creation of the Volkswagen Beetle. He came up with the idea of producing a car that was cheap enough for the average German working man to afford.

bparker805

I dont know if this is acurate or not, but I'll throw it out there anyway. I heard that Hitler 1) had syphilus. 2) only had one nut. 3) was possibly gay, and 4) had a flatulence issue.

CinnamonGirl

The human body generates enough heat in one day to melt 24 gallons of ice. (thanks, pop-up video...)

__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

bparker805

Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space. The first to exercise this right to vote while in orbit was astronaut David Wolf, who cast his vote for Houston mayor via e-mail from the Russian space station Mir in November 1997.

illesturban

I actually heard this is an urban myth. On that MTV show "The Big Urban Myth Show" they had a guy from Nike come on and say that Nike does not do this and that it's just a big huge urban myth and they don't know how it got started.

Are you sure you do this, or you just HEARD you could do it?

diddagirl

The united steates spends more money on its military then the next 12nations combined.

__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

water_boy1999

A study by Lifestyles Condom Co. shows that the average length of a American male erect sex organ is 5.877 inches — which might comfort men who previously thought they were less than average.

Thank god for being above average!!!

__________________
Doh!!!!


-Homer Simpson

txlovely

Zebras' stripes are like human fingerprints - no two patterns are alike.

__________________
Cruel words erode self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.

bparker805

I just found out that in the movie "Conan The Barbarian", Conan only says a total of five words to Valeria (Conan's love interest). That's pimp!

Tophat665

So is a Tarsier's

Baby Dolphins have moustaches.

A fully grown blue whale can weigh as much as 537,432 (plus or minus a couple hundred) average sized guinea pigs.

Aardvarks are not anteaters, but belong to an order all their own, that is most closely related to hoofed mammals
and cetaceans. (Anteaters are more closely related to carnivores.)

The closest relatives to the elephants are hyraxes, which are about the size of a large guinea pig.

The German word for nipple literally means "breast wart". And they say that the Germans are an unromantic people.

Traditional Peruvian beer is made with a yeast cultured from the faeces of unweaned infants. I guess horespiss ain't so bad.

The word for the beverage Punch, is from Hindi <i>panch(a)</i> meaning 5, because, at the time of the Raj, the British thought that the perfect punch had 5 ingredients in it (what hey are I don not know.) It's the same root word as in Punjab (5 rivers.) Other Hindi words in English include jodhpurs, dungarees, thug, and pajamas.

Crocodilians have incredible strenght in closing their jaws, but not much in opening them. In fact, if you can keep them from shaking your hand off, you can hold a croc's jaws closed with one hand (of course, given the likely outcome if the croc did shake it off, you'd be a fool to use less than two.)

Sharks don't have scales. Their skin is covered with tiny teeth. It used to be used as sandpaper before carborundum grit sandpaper was mass produced.

Imperial Romans used to wipe their fundaments after defacating with a sponge on a stick.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

bparker805

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Kewpie Dan

stewardess is the longest word you can type only using your left hand.

also, at least 3 people are trying that our right now...

__________________
I'm so awesome I made your mom cry!