04-28-2003, 10:44 AM | #41 (permalink) |
I aim to misbehave!
Location: SW Oklahoma
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Sorry, I got interuppted. I believe we were at:
The train approaches a curve at the exact time that the aft wattle tilt control coil ring blows and fills the ship with butane and aluminum dust. The bus starts down a long, steep grade and the brakes have failed. The housewifes hearbeat is now 102 beats per minute and the vacuum cleaner bag needs to be changed. The cows give up and just lie there, mooing pitiously. The aliens prepare to eject but the ejection mechanism malfunctions and the wipers won't turn off. The bus accelerates to 127.36 miles per hour and there is a Honda that won't move to the other lane, the driver wets his pants. One of the nuns mutters a foul word. The Honda becomes a new fixture on the bus grille. The aliens, spotting the bus concieve a plan to land on top of the bus thus saving the paint job on the bottom of their craft. As the train leans into the curve the broken wheel begins to fragment and the coupling loosens further. One of the cows makes it to her feet. The Honda, now just a small, fear filled, cruise missle becomes semi airborne and grates up and down on the grille of the bus. Meanwhile the aliens attempts at ejection have only worsened the situation as the butane / aluminum dust mixture has ignited at a cracked seam in the ship. Being a vertical seam the escaping mixture results in a rapidly increasing rotation of the craft, the centrifugal force pinning the aliens to the walls and spilling their soft drinks. Fortunately the landing vecters had already been programmed into the flight computer. The vacuum cleaner motor burns out from the full bag and the mail man departs, whistling. Just at that time the bus, now at maximum speed... Crap, gotta run. Say, do you think that cows consider which type of grass is the tatsiest?
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