KillerYoda

I remember doing an "ask me" thread last time around and getting like two questions due to my rampant unpopularity, but I'm bored, so I'll try again.

And I was lying about the cookies.

Cause I'm a bastard.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

scapegoat

what is everyones obbsesstion with this ask me threads?

Ohh and ill be the first to ask where you nick came from ?

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Sticks and Stones may break my bones, But Whips and Chains Excite me!

KillerYoda

When you get to answer questions, you trick yourself into thinking you're an intellectual.

As for the nickname, it's a very boring, uninteresting story, but I'll tell it anyways:
-I used to have an account on iMDB.com under the name "Yoda" and one day some dude privatemessaged me agreeing with something I said and the phrase "That's killer, yoda." was somewhere in the middle of his message. However, he made a typo and what came out was "That's killeryoda." I thought it sounded kind of cool, KillerYoda, so I've used it in various messageboards and occassionally while playing CounterStrike since then. The end.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

Dorian_S

Why no cookies?

And just what sort of bastard are you, anyway?

alpha phi

Man!.......I came for the cookies
chocolate chip, or thin mint.
How about a .txt cookie
maybe one........ with some important passwords imbedded in them?

Do you like flamingo's?

what's your favorite color,number,and food?

Do I have any more questions?

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K-Billy

I wanted some cookies too. Oh well. No question for you now.

Miranda

I CAME FOR COOKIES! AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU HAVE NO COOKIES! Well...What else can I have??????

And why do I keep falling down?

GuttersnipeXL

Where is your old avatar? you know the one with the Cambodian skull pile? That was one of the best ones going!

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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. HST

Fly

are you like.....the uncle of that green dude (yoda) in star wars?

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

rockogre

Cookies? Are girl scout cookies made with real girl scouts?

You know, you can eat a girl scouts cookie but eat one little brownie and you go to jail.

__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

KillerYoda

Gods answers prayers in the order they are received.

Dorian_S:
-There are no cookies because of the obvious bastard thing.
-I am the type of bastard that offers cookies, then renegs. Plus I posess Alchemy +4, Climb +3, Concentration +3, Diplomacy +2, Heal +5, Hide +3, Knowledge (arcana) +4, Knowledge (religion) +4, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Scry +3, Spellcraft +5, Spot +6, Alertness, Scribe Scroll, Spell Focus (Necromancy).

alpha phi:
-I would give you one of my IE6 cookies, but i'm sure "XXX" appears a millions times in it, and XXX doesn't taste very good. Kind of like old almonds.
-I happen to like plastic flamingos people put in their lawns, and kick them just like in the Sims whenever possible.
-My favorite color is black (it's slimming), my favorite number is 138 (expecting 666, eh?), and my favorite food is beef jerky.
-Yes, you have many more questions.

K-Billy:
No question, eh? Maybe I'll just have to tie you to a chair and cut off your ear while Stealer's Wheel plays in the background.

Miranda:
-You can have one of the free "Subway" tickets I have in my wallet. Just simply give me your address, social security, and credit card numbers and I'll send it.
-You keep falling down because you accidently clicked the button on your jacket for "slick shoes." "50 dollar bills!"

GuttersnipeXL
-My old avatar is saved somewhere in my documents file, and I'll probably switch to it when I get a custom title back. In otherwords, three years.

flyman
-No, me and Yoda are of no relation, however his brother dated my sister for a few months.

rockogre
-I'm not sure about thin mints, but I know for a fact Caramel DeLites are made of Girl Scouts, and the chocolate is actually Soylent Green.

Keep the questions coming, I'm pretty smart.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

Plummie

Hehe. KillerYoda, what is your favorite coffee drink?

And why is the sky blue?

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Kim

Somenosuke

What's this odd rash on my testicles?

And secondly, WHY DO I HAVE TESTICLES?!

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

uncle phil

need a third opinion...


how come?

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

liquid_dreams

ok here is a question for you why did you lie and get all of our hopes up?

KillerYoda

Bones:
-If there were cookies, they'd be plain old chocolate chip. Sadly for you, you do not have cookies enabled, since you are at the medium high security level. My chocolate chips do not have the compact privacy policy required for you to receive them.

Plummie:
-I actually loathe coffee, but love caffeine, so the closest thing I drink to coffee is probably Jolt cola. Jolt is way too expensive to drink everyday, though. It's like 3 bucks for a 6 pack.
-The blue in sunlight collides with air molecules and our eyes see it as blue. Hence, why the sky is appears blue.

Somenosuke:
-It could be SARS...on your balls.
-You have testicles so women have something to kick when you insult them.

uncle phil:
"How come?" I'm guessing you're native American from the vernacular you used in your question, so I'll translate:
-Get porn. Rub penis. That how come.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

KillerYoda

liquid_dreams:
-Cause I'm a bastard, and you're all very naive, so I knew cookies would entice you.

__________________
"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

scapegoat

Another question Yoda.... What is your favorite kind of cookie?

And whats the meaning of life??????

__________________
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, But Whips and Chains Excite me!

K-Billy

Fine I'll ask some questions.

Do fat kids love cake? Why? What type of cake?

KillerYoda

scapegoat:
-My favorite type of cookie is chocolate chip. Nothing too spectacular there.
-The meaning of life is 42, of course.

K-Billy:
I'm glad you're interested to learn more about fats kids.
-Yes, fat kids love cake.
-Fat kids love cake because cake tastes good, and fat kids love food, especially food that tastes good.
-Fat kids will eat any type of cake, except rice cakes. Fuck that healthy bullshit.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

Somenosuke

But I'm a girl....I'm not supposed to have them! How do I get rid of them?

__________________
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

asdf1001

no cookies? how bout a beer then?

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Goodbye!

GuttersnipeXL

Maybe I can be of assistence...Two words.. rubber bands. I'm sure Killer Yoda's suggestion will be more helpful....Yo Killer sorry to move in on your territory!


Also ...Did you realize that your initials are KY...what would you do if people started reffering to KillerYoda as,...let's say, Jelly?

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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. HST

KillerYoda

Somenosuke:
-I'm going to need a little more info on this before I make a prognosis...do you have a cock too? If not, just lop those babies off with a warm knife.

asdf1001:
-No, the keg company delivered the beer to http://algo.inria.fr/alcom/alcomft.html by mistake. Hopefully someone can remedy the problem by tomorrow.

GuttersnipeXL:
Trying to steal my glory, eh? You bastard! Anyways...
-I've been called "KY" many times before, in fact, if I had a nickel for everytime I've been called "KY" I'd have enough money to pay for Somenosuke's castration.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

qpid

What is the meaning of life?

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My army will take over the world join us or be destroyed. I am the Emperor Supreme
Join the Revolution!

Necrophilia - The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one

KillerYoda

qpid:
-I already answered that one. 42.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

qpid

But I meant a non douglas adams answer

__________________
My army will take over the world join us or be destroyed. I am the Emperor Supreme
Join the Revolution!

Necrophilia - The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one

KillerYoda

Oh, okay. Then I'll go with:

Plastics.

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"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

Dorian_S

Ah, so you're a nerdy bastard. I see.

What's the difference between an orange?

Memalvada

What will be the next country to be attacked by the US and why?

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"The weak are food for the strong, so die and let me feast!" - Makoto Shishio (RK)

JumpinJesus

Who's Johnny?

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

Memalvada

Why do dog farts smell SO bad???

__________________
"The weak are food for the strong, so die and let me feast!" - Makoto Shishio (RK)

scapegoat

Who stole the cookie for the cookie jar?

__________________
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, But Whips and Chains Excite me!

BubblegumTeflon

Do you know any japanese speakers?

KillerYoda

Dorian_S:
-I'm not that nerdy. I've never actually played D&D, I was gonna make a Magic: The Gathering reference (which I did actually play at one point) but figured more people would get a D&D joke.
-The horse because it doesn't have handle bars.

Memalvada:
-Definately Syria. Americans have a hatred for countries where the people wear towels on their heads for no apparent reason.

JumpinJesus
-He's a talking robot that was struck by lightning and now has self-awareness, consciousness, and a fear of the reprogramming.

Memalvada, yet again:
-Dog farts smell bad because God sees you touch yourself at night. Or, cause dogs have a tendency to eat their own shit. Probably both.

__________________
"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

rockogre

Ok now, try to keep up.

A train leaves San Antonio, Texas and accelerates to 56.3254 miles per hour. At the same time a bus leaves Winsow Arizona and accelerates to 76.957 miles per hour.

Five minutes later a housewife in New Orleans, Louisiana starts her vacuum cleaner, an 1987 Electrolux drawing 4.7 amps average.

Without anyone noticing an extraterristrial craft sits in a holding pattern over Lovelock, Nevada emitting a stream of ions at approximately 158K per cubic millimeter at 61 KV.

The bus driver is of Russian extraction and likes orange popsicles and poodles. The train engineer, on the other hand is a cross dresser and only wears silk panties while operating the locomotive engine.

The housewife gets horny every day at exactly 3:17. The exact time that the mailman puts something in her box on a daily basis.

The bus has 13 passengers, 7 Nuns, 3 French tourists, 2 newlyweds, and a man from Tampa Florida that sells lightning rods and whoopee cushions.

The train has 32 cars and a tanker full of dihydrogen monoxide. It also has, unknown to the passengers, a cracked wheel on the left side of car number 17 and a faulty coupling between cars 22 and 23.

The alien spacecraft carries two beings that resemble carrots that have lain in the sun too long and have gills. The smell a lot like old hay and cinnamon. Each has a hostess twinkie and a bottle of Sprite. They are unaware that there is a slow leak in the aft wattle tilt control coil ring, and it's getting worse.

During this time the earth rotates through 16.978546 degrees and a small hurricane forms in the Atlantic. The city of Los Angles moves .3 inches toward the ocean but no one notices. A man in Canada kisses his wife goodbye and steps in front of a moving van. Three cows fall down in upstate New York and can't get up. A lizard moves into the shade near Boulder, Colorado. Illinois gains three new residents.

The train approaches a curve at the exact time that the aft wattle tilt control coil ring blows and fills the ship with butane and aluminum dust. The bus starts down a long, steep grade and the brakes have failed. The housewifes hearbeat is now 102 beats per minute and the vacuum cleaner bag needs to be changed. The cows give up and just lie there, mooing pitiously. The aliens prepare to eject but the ejection mechanism malfunctions and the wipers won't turn off. The bus accelerates to 127.36 miles per hour and there is a Honda that won't move to the other lane, the driver wets his pants. One of the nuns mutters a foul word.

Oh, hey quitting time. Ya think I should take the shortcut home or just go through town?

__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

platypus

Why doesn't anyone bottle water in Summer, Fall, or Winter?

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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

KillerYoda

scapegoat:
-Obviously, I stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

BubblegumTeflon::
-I'm sure if you check http://www.premierespeakers.com you'll be able to find a Japanese speaker. I know Olly North is doing some lecturing around the US.

rockogre:
-Go through town, if you get home to quickly, you'll be crushed by the plane engine from the future that is destined to fall on your room.

platypus:
-Cause Tim Chambers told them not to.

__________________
"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."

platypus

If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they get a plastic dinosaur out of your ass without surgery?

__________________
Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

KillerYoda

They got mine out just fine, and it t-rex.

__________________
"So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team."