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KillerYoda 04-23-2003 11:09 PM

Ask KillerYoda, get a cookie
 
I remember doing an "ask me" thread last time around and getting like two questions due to my rampant unpopularity, but I'm bored, so I'll try again.

And I was lying about the cookies.

Cause I'm a bastard.

scapegoat 04-23-2003 11:15 PM

what is everyones obbsesstion with this ask me threads?

Ohh and ill be the first to ask where you nick came from ?

KillerYoda 04-23-2003 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by scapegoat
what is everyones obbsesstion with this ask me threads?

Ohh and ill be the first to ask where you nick came from ?

When you get to answer questions, you trick yourself into thinking you're an intellectual.

As for the nickname, it's a very boring, uninteresting story, but I'll tell it anyways:
-I used to have an account on iMDB.com under the name "Yoda" and one day some dude privatemessaged me agreeing with something I said and the phrase "That's killer, yoda." was somewhere in the middle of his message. However, he made a typo and what came out was "That's killeryoda." I thought it sounded kind of cool, KillerYoda, so I've used it in various messageboards and occassionally while playing CounterStrike since then. The end.

Dorian_S 04-24-2003 12:06 AM

Why no cookies?

And just what sort of bastard are you, anyway?

alpha phi 04-24-2003 04:02 AM

Man!.......I came for the cookies
chocolate chip, or thin mint.
How about a .txt cookie
maybe one........ with some important passwords imbedded in them?

Do you like flamingo's?

what's your favorite color,number,and food?

Do I have any more questions?

K-Billy 04-24-2003 04:26 AM

I wanted some cookies too. Oh well. No question for you now.

Miranda 04-24-2003 04:30 AM

I CAME FOR COOKIES! AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU HAVE NO COOKIES! Well...What else can I have??????

And why do I keep falling down?

GuttersnipeXL 04-24-2003 04:44 AM

Where is your old avatar? you know the one with the Cambodian skull pile? That was one of the best ones going!

Fly 04-24-2003 04:49 AM

are you like.....the uncle of that green dude (yoda) in star wars?

rockogre 04-24-2003 06:24 AM

Cookies? Are girl scout cookies made with real girl scouts?

You know, you can eat a girl scouts cookie but eat one little brownie and you go to jail.

KillerYoda 04-24-2003 07:49 AM

Gods answers prayers in the order they are received.

Dorian_S:
-There are no cookies because of the obvious bastard thing.
-I am the type of bastard that offers cookies, then renegs. Plus I posess Alchemy +4, Climb +3, Concentration +3, Diplomacy +2, Heal +5, Hide +3, Knowledge (arcana) +4, Knowledge (religion) +4, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Scry +3, Spellcraft +5, Spot +6, Alertness, Scribe Scroll, Spell Focus (Necromancy).

alpha phi:
-I would give you one of my IE6 cookies, but i'm sure "XXX" appears a millions times in it, and XXX doesn't taste very good. Kind of like old almonds.
-I happen to like plastic flamingos people put in their lawns, and kick them just like in the Sims whenever possible.
-My favorite color is black (it's slimming), my favorite number is 138 (expecting 666, eh?), and my favorite food is beef jerky.
-Yes, you have many more questions.

K-Billy:
No question, eh? Maybe I'll just have to tie you to a chair and cut off your ear while Stealer's Wheel plays in the background.

Miranda:
-You can have one of the free "Subway" tickets I have in my wallet. Just simply give me your address, social security, and credit card numbers and I'll send it.
-You keep falling down because you accidently clicked the button on your jacket for "slick shoes." "50 dollar bills!"

GuttersnipeXL
-My old avatar is saved somewhere in my documents file, and I'll probably switch to it when I get a custom title back. In otherwords, three years.

flyman
-No, me and Yoda are of no relation, however his brother dated my sister for a few months.

rockogre
-I'm not sure about thin mints, but I know for a fact Caramel DeLites are made of Girl Scouts, and the chocolate is actually Soylent Green.

Keep the questions coming, I'm pretty smart.

Plummie 04-24-2003 08:30 AM

Hehe. KillerYoda, what is your favorite coffee drink?

And why is the sky blue?

Somenosuke 04-24-2003 08:51 AM

What's this odd rash on my testicles?

And secondly, WHY DO I HAVE TESTICLES?!:eek:

uncle phil 04-24-2003 11:59 AM

need a third opinion...


how come?

liquid_dreams 04-24-2003 12:29 PM

ok here is a question for you why did you lie and get all of our hopes up?

KillerYoda 04-24-2003 12:37 PM

Bones:
-If there were cookies, they'd be plain old chocolate chip. Sadly for you, you do not have cookies enabled, since you are at the medium high security level. My chocolate chips do not have the compact privacy policy required for you to receive them.

Plummie:
-I actually loathe coffee, but love caffeine, so the closest thing I drink to coffee is probably Jolt cola. Jolt is way too expensive to drink everyday, though. It's like 3 bucks for a 6 pack.
-The blue in sunlight collides with air molecules and our eyes see it as blue. Hence, why the sky is appears blue.

Somenosuke:
-It could be SARS...on your balls.
-You have testicles so women have something to kick when you insult them.

uncle phil:
"How come?" I'm guessing you're native American from the vernacular you used in your question, so I'll translate:
-Get porn. Rub penis. That how come.

KillerYoda 04-24-2003 12:38 PM

liquid_dreams:
-Cause I'm a bastard, and you're all very naive, so I knew cookies would entice you.

scapegoat 04-24-2003 12:41 PM

Another question Yoda.... What is your favorite kind of cookie?

And whats the meaning of life?????? :p

K-Billy 04-24-2003 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillerYoda
K-Billy:
No question, eh? Maybe I'll just have to tie you to a chair and cut off your ear while Stealer's Wheel plays in the background.

Fine I'll ask some questions.

Do fat kids love cake? Why? What type of cake?

KillerYoda 04-24-2003 02:36 PM

scapegoat:
-My favorite type of cookie is chocolate chip. Nothing too spectacular there.
-The meaning of life is 42, of course.

K-Billy:
I'm glad you're interested to learn more about fats kids.
-Yes, fat kids love cake.
-Fat kids love cake because cake tastes good, and fat kids love food, especially food that tastes good.
-Fat kids will eat any type of cake, except rice cakes. Fuck that healthy bullshit.

Somenosuke 04-24-2003 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillerYoda


Somenosuke:
-It could be SARS...on your balls.
-You have testicles so women have something to kick when you insult them.

But I'm a girl....I'm not supposed to have them! How do I get rid of them? :eek:

asdf1001 04-24-2003 03:14 PM

no cookies? how bout a beer then?

GuttersnipeXL 04-24-2003 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Somenosuke
But I'm a girl....I'm not supposed to have them! How do I get rid of them? :eek:
Maybe I can be of assistence...Two words.. rubber bands. I'm sure Killer Yoda's suggestion will be more helpful....Yo Killer sorry to move in on your territory!


Also ...Did you realize that your initials are KY...what would you do if people started reffering to KillerYoda as,...let's say, Jelly?

KillerYoda 04-24-2003 05:08 PM

Somenosuke:
-I'm going to need a little more info on this before I make a prognosis...do you have a cock too? If not, just lop those babies off with a warm knife.

asdf1001:
-No, the keg company delivered the beer to http://algo.inria.fr/alcom/alcomft.html by mistake. Hopefully someone can remedy the problem by tomorrow.

GuttersnipeXL:
Trying to steal my glory, eh? You bastard! Anyways...
-I've been called "KY" many times before, in fact, if I had a nickel for everytime I've been called "KY" I'd have enough money to pay for Somenosuke's castration.

qpid 04-24-2003 05:12 PM

What is the meaning of life?

KillerYoda 04-24-2003 05:13 PM

qpid:
-I already answered that one. 42.

qpid 04-24-2003 05:15 PM

But I meant a non douglas adams answer

KillerYoda 04-24-2003 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by qpid
But I meant a non douglas adams answer
Oh, okay. Then I'll go with:

Plastics.

Dorian_S 04-25-2003 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillerYoda
Gods answers prayers in the order they are received.

Dorian_S:
-There are no cookies because of the obvious bastard thing.
-I am the type of bastard that offers cookies, then renegs. Plus I posess Alchemy +4, Climb +3, Concentration +3, Diplomacy +2, Heal +5, Hide +3, Knowledge (arcana) +4, Knowledge (religion) +4, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Scry +3, Spellcraft +5, Spot +6, Alertness, Scribe Scroll, Spell Focus (Necromancy).


Ah, so you're a nerdy bastard. I see. :)

What's the difference between an orange?

Memalvada 04-25-2003 07:44 AM

What will be the next country to be attacked by the US and why?

JumpinJesus 04-25-2003 07:46 AM

Who's Johnny?

Memalvada 04-25-2003 07:50 AM

Why do dog farts smell SO bad???

scapegoat 04-25-2003 08:16 AM

Who stole the cookie for the cookie jar?

BubblegumTeflon 04-25-2003 08:21 AM

http://www.yamahamultimedia.com/yec/...kers/tss1b.jpg
Do you know any japanese speakers?

KillerYoda 04-25-2003 08:21 AM

Dorian_S:
-I'm not that nerdy. I've never actually played D&D, I was gonna make a Magic: The Gathering reference (which I did actually play at one point) but figured more people would get a D&D joke.
-The horse because it doesn't have handle bars.

Memalvada:
-Definately Syria. Americans have a hatred for countries where the people wear towels on their heads for no apparent reason.

JumpinJesus
-He's a talking robot that was struck by lightning and now has self-awareness, consciousness, and a fear of the reprogramming.

Memalvada, yet again:
-Dog farts smell bad because God sees you touch yourself at night. Or, cause dogs have a tendency to eat their own shit. Probably both.

rockogre 04-25-2003 10:03 AM

Ok now, try to keep up.

A train leaves San Antonio, Texas and accelerates to 56.3254 miles per hour. At the same time a bus leaves Winsow Arizona and accelerates to 76.957 miles per hour.

Five minutes later a housewife in New Orleans, Louisiana starts her vacuum cleaner, an 1987 Electrolux drawing 4.7 amps average.

Without anyone noticing an extraterristrial craft sits in a holding pattern over Lovelock, Nevada emitting a stream of ions at approximately 158K per cubic millimeter at 61 KV.

The bus driver is of Russian extraction and likes orange popsicles and poodles. The train engineer, on the other hand is a cross dresser and only wears silk panties while operating the locomotive engine.

The housewife gets horny every day at exactly 3:17. The exact time that the mailman puts something in her box on a daily basis.

The bus has 13 passengers, 7 Nuns, 3 French tourists, 2 newlyweds, and a man from Tampa Florida that sells lightning rods and whoopee cushions.

The train has 32 cars and a tanker full of dihydrogen monoxide. It also has, unknown to the passengers, a cracked wheel on the left side of car number 17 and a faulty coupling between cars 22 and 23.

The alien spacecraft carries two beings that resemble carrots that have lain in the sun too long and have gills. The smell a lot like old hay and cinnamon. Each has a hostess twinkie and a bottle of Sprite. They are unaware that there is a slow leak in the aft wattle tilt control coil ring, and it's getting worse.

During this time the earth rotates through 16.978546 degrees and a small hurricane forms in the Atlantic. The city of Los Angles moves .3 inches toward the ocean but no one notices. A man in Canada kisses his wife goodbye and steps in front of a moving van. Three cows fall down in upstate New York and can't get up. A lizard moves into the shade near Boulder, Colorado. Illinois gains three new residents.

The train approaches a curve at the exact time that the aft wattle tilt control coil ring blows and fills the ship with butane and aluminum dust. The bus starts down a long, steep grade and the brakes have failed. The housewifes hearbeat is now 102 beats per minute and the vacuum cleaner bag needs to be changed. The cows give up and just lie there, mooing pitiously. The aliens prepare to eject but the ejection mechanism malfunctions and the wipers won't turn off. The bus accelerates to 127.36 miles per hour and there is a Honda that won't move to the other lane, the driver wets his pants. One of the nuns mutters a foul word.

Oh, hey quitting time. Ya think I should take the shortcut home or just go through town?

platypus 04-25-2003 10:19 AM

Why doesn't anyone bottle water in Summer, Fall, or Winter?

KillerYoda 04-25-2003 12:52 PM

scapegoat:
-Obviously, I stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

BubblegumTeflon::
-I'm sure if you check http://www.premierespeakers.com you'll be able to find a Japanese speaker. I know Olly North is doing some lecturing around the US.

rockogre:
-Go through town, if you get home to quickly, you'll be crushed by the plane engine from the future that is destined to fall on your room.

platypus:
-Cause Tim Chambers told them not to.

platypus 04-25-2003 12:56 PM

If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they get a plastic dinosaur out of your ass without surgery?

KillerYoda 04-25-2003 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by platypus
If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they get a plastic dinosaur out of your ass without surgery?
They got mine out just fine, and it t-rex.


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