Mitzkrieg

dude, you can't be dissin the point you be missin
you gotta learn there's more to rap than just rhymes, so give a listen
there's artwork in matchin the rhymes with a certain syllable
who taught you how to rap, dr sues? god you're gullable
you use lyrics in your rhymes like, goo, boo, and poo
shit, i was bustin rhymes with those words back when i was 2
so when i said, and i quote ".... more stories in bed"
look for pronunciation and syllables while yer 'tossin Petes sal-ed'
but wait, i fogot, you're not that talented
if i were your sorry ass, i would rather be dead

WhoaitsZ

we may have a winner

Sen

Now I'm back from lunch
and I read this crap
Damn
y'all don't know shit about rap.

Disney, nursery rhymes
and Dr. Seuss
gimme a noose
I'm 'bout to cut loose

Don't tell me what I can
and what I can't teach
I'm the professor
so sit down, Screech
You about to get a lesson
in how to flow
You'll always be guessin'
which way I'll go

I could hit you from the left
with a dope ass rhyme
then spin it, mix it, and change the time
groove for a bit
and then drop the funk
somethin' stinks here
man is that a skunk?
Nah it's just Bones dick
smellin' crass
cause he just pulled it out
of another man's ass

Talkin' bout MY balls
bein blue?
Who the fuck are you
Damn Greg Lou?
gainus that is, you know
the queer
C'mon Bones,
get your nose out my rear.
Starin' at my balls
to see the color
Damn, you one gay ass mutha.

And now we have a rook
tryin to step up
Don't even think
you can drink from this cup.
All you got is Peter Pan?
Next thing I know you'll say
"Talk to the hand"
Actin like you're cool
and you're the shit
I got news for you
you ain't nothin' but a zit
'bout to get popped
and run down the mirror
Don't mess with me
cause I bring the fear
and I bring the pain
like a dungeon master
Mitz, you'd better speed up
and run a little faster
cause' I'll bust yo' ass
like SWAT on a crack house.
Man, I'm the King of the Jungle
and you just a little mouse.


(kinda fun to let the violence flow once in a while. no offense, all in good fun.)

__________________
"I want to announce my presence with authority!"

"You want to what?"

"I want to announce my presence with authority!!"

KWSN

Bones raps 'bout people fuckin sheep and he thinks that he's funny
But he's the only one who got his dick in a sheep's cunny
His favorite site to visit seems to be the TFP,
But muttonbone.com's the one that gets him off, you see

He usin' Snoop and Biggy to try to draw himself fame
But all he ends up doing is disgracing MC's names
Their skill is on the highest level that there is, ya see,
But Bones is at the bottom rappin' bout bestiality

So many other MC's that I could go right up and slap,
But they so fuckin' lowly that they don't deserve my rap.
You think you even on my level, bring it to my face,
I'll beat you ass easily-- won't even be a case.

K-Dub out.

__________________
Your arms are broken!

Sen

Bones disses my flow
and mocks my title
I'm suprised he even
knows the word "recital"
Big Popa is the rapper
he wants to be
He's not Big Popa,
rather Big Pussy.
Predict my rhyme?
Follow my flow?
If you're a psychic
you're Miss Cleo.
At least she made money
you broke ass bitch
she had a mansion
while you sleep in a ditch
she's in jail now
and you're lucky your not
cause all the big bubbas
would think you're hot
"he's got a purdy mouth"
you'd hear them say
but you'd fit right in
cause we know you're gay.

And then there's "K-DUB"
ooh, what a cool name.
you ain't no gansta
you're just fuckin' lame
No mention of me?
I ain't worth your time?
You best show some respect
in you're muthafuckin' rhymes
so sit yo ass down
and welcome to the class
learn from the best
as I kick some ass
Ni, Ni, Ni
Look at me I'm a knight
I'd knock your ass out
without a hint of a fight.

__________________
"I want to announce my presence with authority!"

"You want to what?"

"I want to announce my presence with authority!!"

sadistikdreams

alright.

let's try this again, bitches.

so i know i suck dick,
but why'd i find it so easy to click
the "post reply" button?
had i the impression i would get a muffin?
er. i think i may be frontin.
you all made me choke
at least i aint gotta toke
to succeed in this joke
of a game.

so sen, what's the midwest like?
is it some where im gonna take a bike?
be there any hills?
where you get some thrills?
and brag about "mad skills"?

WHAT?

Just call me the bookie
place some bets.
i know im a loser
so are the mets
i aint from the ghetto
but to those who are
you betta mellow
because im coming yo way
complete with automatic rhyme bombs
So I hope y'all can stay
and let me say
I AM THE WORST RAPPER AT TFP!
thanks?

__________________
"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."
-Lin Yutang

hearts, by d.a.

Sen

"I AM THE WORST RAPPER AT TFP!"
No argument here,
Damn, that was easy.

__________________
"I want to announce my presence with authority!"

"You want to what?"

"I want to announce my presence with authority!!"

Spinach_Indeed

Man , Bones raps like he's on fire
Spittin out rhymes like a dirty liar
Others join in the the vicious rhyme
Some got beat, others aint got the time
To churn out raps, hour after hour
Faces look like they ate sumtin sour

The call Me Spiny-Wonka
But I aint here ta taunt ya
I simply came to display
My horrible rappin forte
I can't rap and I can't dance
Even then I wouldn't have a chance
I'm just a white boy, with no thought or plan
I just sit around all day, playin the Megaman

Maybe If I made the time
To sit down and actually think out a line
But I don't, and that's why I'm lame
Aint got no rythem, aint got no game.

But I got one annoument
One Federal Endoucment
While Bones have a Big B on his Cape
He's still the victim of Redneck Rape
Hangin out at the Glory Hole, every single day
His Momma never relized, that he was so gay.

So that's my sorry insult,
The Creed of my cult
Please don't hurt me to bad
I'm just glad
To hang with the big boys
Even though they use Anal Toys.

I'm..sorry too.... *walks away*

__________________
Spinach in Need is Spinach Indeed

QuasiMojo

Chicka Booma Chicka Booma
Chicka Booma S M A C K.

BOOMA-CHICKA Booma Chicka
booma chicka C R A C K

__________________
AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

KWSN

The small lines that Sen spins are reflective of his rap strength
No, wait, the shortness is more similar to Sen's penis length
He
Likes
To
Break
It
Up
Like
This
To
Make
It
Sound
Like he's a good MC but I'm better pound for pound

Sen tries to make it seem like he's a gangster and he's tough
Oh yeah, Sen, in the Midwest the streets all are really rough.
Two seconds in the ghetto and I bet you'd piss your pants
And then you'd run home crying like a schoolgirl out of France

Your skill isn't enough to merit more disses from me,
So go home, little Sen, you're wastin' all my energy.

K-Dub out.

__________________
Your arms are broken!

QuasiMojo

Good God D'jawl
whatcha doin'
whatcha thinkin'
D'jawl

__________________
AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

Mitzkrieg

some good ones! keep em comin. just got home from work, here's my next one....

oh man, wtf? i bust the smooth groovin ryhmes and get called a rook?
Bones needs a dictionary?
shit i was born in east l.a. and i don't need no stinking book
y'all are silly, can't come up with nothin original?
those 2-bit three & four letter rhyes of yours are just plain gimmical
wanna rap with my flavah gotta learn to be more whimsical
bones talked earlier 'bout me droppin names
only thing i'm droppin are lyrical bombs in these word games
ya keep comin back trying to prove something to this society
dont know why
you'll just get knocked out
boys you should just stop fightin me
good thing none of ya rap for a living cuz ya couldn't make a dime
might as well just shut up, better off impersonatin a mime
so get in your bling bling ride of a public bus and pick up a transfer
move on to someone else before you're ripped to shreads like you got cancer.

castex

I been lookin roun' here, lookin good an' feelin fine,
I been cruisin Rouen, France; I'm hustlin, gettin what's mine,
But when I gets to work I got the man who tell me No!
You don' be smokin at your desk, hey bro' c'est interdit you know.

Well I don' like it, baby, when they tells me what to do,
It make me mad, it gets me riled, I gets all flushed an' het up too.
Now I know some mecs, they think it's antiso-cial,
But hell they win with passive smokin' - I buy the tabs, they get the blow.

Now the TFP be goin through some readjustment,
We be representin here while others wonder where the boobs went,
I don' have time to take you down, I got a luncheon appointment,
But I'm back this afternoon; if you step up it's disappointment.

castex

Rrrrrrrrrrrroti de Porc, Hot Dang s'what I been eatin,
They gave me lots of beans - 'hey where my chips?' s'what I been sayin
I drunk me deux cafés, a glass of coke now I be trippin
I come right back on here and what I find? you all been sleepin.

There ain't no doubt, no joke, i represent my spheres of knowledge
Y'all come to me for cars an books an cookin, even porridge
For breakfast jus add honey with a stir you'll all be ready
For dancin, shaggin, drinkin, smokin, rhymin I rock steady.

castex

Bones, bones, bones...yeah I been hearin tha name
and yeah I'll jump ya Bones, tho' I be new to this game
I'll stand you up, I'll take you down 'til spinnin stars is all you see
I learned the ropes at home wit' Mr. D.R.E.

Now here we go again with all this FuckFrance shiiiit,
It's tired, it's old, it's gettin stale; I don't mind cos I'm a Brit
And you and yours who diss the place that gave us Dom and Moët
Will learn it's time to live in peace and spread some love and Joy.

Who's that there right by your name, it can't be you - it's Biggie!
I'll stop this soon, I'll grab a coke, I'll chill and smoke a ciggie,
But 'fore I go you gots to know I think you're very funny,
I laughs out loud to read these rhymes, now go and make some money.

jwoody

Step aside....

1.2.1.2. is this thing on?
Are you listening, Hal, K & bones?
I rate your rhymes as bad, weak and poor.
Your styles are dead,
You're all too crap for sure.
Next time try to beef it up with some smilies.
I'll kick your asses, UK stylee.


..just warming up.

__________________
.

Junchbailey

I'm a 40 drinkin nigga walking down the block
My dick's so big I gotta put it in my sock
peace

__________________
Hey guys -- I finally got a semen sample after pumping on my wiener for 2 whole days

Sen

K-W-S and N
Likes to be dissin the streets I be in
You can say what you want
You can think what you please
But I spent 3 years in SouthEast DC.

If that ain't a hood
you don't even know
so sit the fuck down
and watch the show

Now I'm gonna change the tone
of this rap battle
give props to the Bones
for all of his rattle
he's the only one of you sucka MC's
that's got the nuts to hang with me

All you muthafuckas
can shut your mouth
3 years in the District
and 4 in the South
Dirty South, East Coast
now represent
At least I ain't suckin' Dick
just to pay the rent.

Don't tell me dissin' France
is all played out
those coward muthafuckers
just whine and pout
I don't care if you are
a fuckin' li-mey
This is gansta rap
Fuck peace and harmony

And don't get me started
on East L.A.
LBC bullshit
man, don't even play
you think you're so smooth
we can see you're wrong
the best thing in East L.A.
was Cheech and Chong

Hell yayuh!

__________________
"I want to announce my presence with authority!"

"You want to what?"

"I want to announce my presence with authority!!"

Mitzkrieg

aight, i'll join the gang
blow the dust off my easy stuff
easy as Bones ass
prefers his men real big and buff
like 2 dollar corner ho's
can is so loose
when he farts
sounds just like the wind blows

all these rhymes
y'all aint rappin'
nothin but angry rantin'
so damn annoying
should get my gun
and start cappin
step up to me
its inevitable
you can't win

so where's the judge
just declare me surgeon general
i disected you fools
like back in school
cuttin up a frogs genitals
__
hehe, sorry bones, not tryin to pick on ya, just became an easy target after the gay thing stuck. good rap battles peeps, gotta get to work, laters.

crow_daw

Uh oh, MC Crow, back in the place to bizzee.
Sorry I been gone, yall know yall missed me.
Bones, we coulda teamed up, coulda been great,
but you saw my feet, and decided to hate.
Well, aiight, you done chose your path now,
Step up to me, and I'll lay your ass down.
Mitz and castex, this thread aint for the rooks,
Next time do ya homework, hit the fuckin books.
Crow dont play around, lyrically, I'm a beast.
I'll fuck yall kids up, like a Catholic priest.
Fuck this, I'm done, yall wastin my time.
But if anybody wants some, you next in line.
Big Crow, Ill spread my wings and take flight,
I may be caucasian, but I'm as dark as night.

__________________
"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

Sen

Mitz's last rap ain't worth my time
can't waste my talent
on a weak ass rhyme

I'm about ta be out
for the next 3 days
you'll have to live without
my badass ways
Goin' cross the state
to Saint Lou-ee
Summer Sanitarium
is where I'll be
Mudvayne, Deftones,
Limp Bizkit, too
and Linkin Park
warmin' up
for the crew
that's the best Rock Show
in the biz
Metallica, sucka
that's where it is.

I can't wait to read
when I get back
all the jibberish rhymes
you MC's are on crack
can't rhyme, no rhythm
ain't got no flow
you're fuckin' rap careers
go right out the window

Until I get back
think on this
you can't fuck with me
cause I'm the best there is.

Hell yayuh!!

__________________
"I want to announce my presence with authority!"

"You want to what?"

"I want to announce my presence with authority!!"

Mitzkrieg

later sen, have fun, sounds like it'll be good times. maybe before you go, you can catch this last rhyme....

Bones, K-Dub and last but not least Sen
my onlsaught of words bust your asses wide o-pen
just like you were straight from the jail house
stuffed up the rear by a trouser mouse
all three of you fresh fishes
been turned into inmates bitches

it's pretty clear
the chocolate star highway
is your jurisdiction
the pictures from the private eye
proved that it aint fiction
not sayin i looked, cuz i sure as hell didn't
hope after you were done felchin
you sucked on a breathe mint

omg i'm on fire! can't put me out!
call me butter, cuz i'm on a roll, no doubt!
but truthfully, i'm just a white rappin wannabe
oh man, it sucks to be you
gettin fucked up by the likes of me

(serious though, no offense guys. this thread was a good idea, just havin fun)

JohnnyCorpse

Yoo all my homey G's
You all be up in my Shizzy-T
I ain't gonna take no disrespectin hoes
I just be shootin em all in their toes
i smack my dick on their heads
so that they wake up dead
due to massive head trauma
aww man, dont you gimme yo drama!
or i stab you in the face
then i invade your place
and piss in your sink
before you have time to think
about whatcha gonna do
you ain't nothin but a fool
i be spankin all your bitches
i be shitting in their britches (breeches?)
just like the Normandy beaches
those nazis be teachin
all you fools a lesson
about the german's delicatessen
because "eat" in german is "essen"
naw, you ain't impressin
anyone wit dat shit
i jsut go up and hit
you in da face
with that laser in space

then you die.... ass
gawd what an easy genre of music to write for.. and just so everyone knows, i hate rap

crow_daw

Its only easy if you really really really suck. Sorry.

__________________
"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

eyeronic

Johnny Corpse picked that name 'cause his lyrics ain't live.
In peril like a horse stumbled on a bee hive.
I wrote stronger raps at the age of five.
"I stab you in the face,
I hit you in the face"
Your simple little threats leave a terrible taste
And a smell
but I won't dwell
On your inspid flavor,
Instead let's move on to your inappropriate behavior.
Now listen Johny Dead,
You come on this thread
Disrespect whats been said,
But only offer lyrics on par with Right Said Fred.
I don't give a crap if you really "hate rap."
But you shouldn't of fucked with us,
Cause now your mom's got the Clap
That's right, that's right
Because we fucked her bareback.

__________________
I hold with those that favor fire.

floonine

I was told of this thread,
I brought some new battle armor,
but you guys are a joke,
I should have bought some pajamas

__________________
Political arguments do not exist, after all, for people to believe in them, rather they serve as a common, agreed-upon excuse. Foolish people who take them in earnest sooner or later discover inconsistencies in them, begin to protest and finish finally and infamously as heretics.

floonine

well shit, I'm done, I lost, I'm toasted
and it only took you 30 minutes to come and find and post it,
but probably not because you don't believe in rhymes that you lace, kid,
you aren't that smart to realize, you aren't worth any time that is wasted
go home, you didn't know what I got in store
this game is for men, not boys with puberty to wait for.

__________________
Political arguments do not exist, after all, for people to believe in them, rather they serve as a common, agreed-upon excuse. Foolish people who take them in earnest sooner or later discover inconsistencies in them, begin to protest and finish finally and infamously as heretics.

Midlandmadman

though they call this rap-battle, I ain't lookin for a fight,
but lickin' bungholes, that just aint right...
your tounge will get sticky and your breath will get bad...
for the rest of the night your gonna be sad..
so before you lap her ass, bitch better use some Zest
and after your through you better hit that CREST!!!

__________________
Its good to be back.

floonine

haha, this is good shit... I wish I didn't have a job that requires me to actually do work.

__________________
Political arguments do not exist, after all, for people to believe in them, rather they serve as a common, agreed-upon excuse. Foolish people who take them in earnest sooner or later discover inconsistencies in them, begin to protest and finish finally and infamously as heretics.

floonine

This is so fun I wish I wasn't at work
so I could spend the whole day battling this bones jerk
2 minute post, no shit, take your time
speed definitely degrades the quality of your rhyme
I will give you the rest of the day while I'm making my dough and typing away
to come up with something I feel like spending my time on
besides some bitchy rapper who be needin a tampon

__________________
Political arguments do not exist, after all, for people to believe in them, rather they serve as a common, agreed-upon excuse. Foolish people who take them in earnest sooner or later discover inconsistencies in them, begin to protest and finish finally and infamously as heretics.

Midlandmadman

as I read these posts its very obvious too see........
that it would be very easy for you all to diss me......
My delivery's predictable and my rhymes are pretty whack....
which would leave me wide open for you bad ass MC's to attack..
so I am playing it smart before you evil muthas pounce.....
this lame ass white boy is gonna fuckin Bounce.........

PEACE OUT Ya'LL!!!!!!!!!!

__________________
Its good to be back.

baaa

chicka chicka poo
chicka hiney hiney poo

my name is baaa and i'm here to say
midlandmadman is a tool
in a major way

Mitzkrieg

lol

castex

Well the C is back to (wickety) whack the battle rappers,
I'll play you all along until you see things like me.
They see my name come up, they all come running like the clappers;
A change of pace is due, thankyou for waiting patiently!

Now,

I went to De La Soul, they came to see us up in Paris
Na-na-na-na-na, this is the daisy age
It's been a while; I saw them in the Toon in '89.
All the little gangstas here would surely be embarrassed,
to see and hear what rocks the boat when you engage your mind

It's not about the drugs, the girls, the cars or drive-by shootin,
My Mummy's not a Ho; I don't think yours is either.
Our women need respect you see, they're on an equal footin,
Just two more shirts to iron, then I'm going to take a breather.

castex

Own this thread? You sure? Hey Bones you don't own shit.
Your silly whines and rants you know they don't hurt me a bit.
I read your lines and with a sigh I worry for your karma.
It's time to quit the streets my man, and try life as a farmer.

The country's wild and free and full of birds and bees and foxes,
The kind that like to dance and kiss and let you in their boxes
You'll feel at home a-diggin, sowin, ploughin all they furrows
For trips to town jump on your horse and you'll get there tomorrow.

I said it twice, I ain't done yet - this world is ruled by lovers.
It's sad to diss and cuss and spend time criticising others.
I know your tongue's in cheek, but Bones you'll get my dander rising.
And when it's up look out, you fool, you'd best get to revising.

castex

Hey wow, oh look he's lost the plot!
His toys thrown out the pram.
Dear Bones don't cry and shout a lot,
your acting reeks of ham.

My life is sweet, i must admit,
But I can swear as well.
Some fuckers tried to break my balls
Those rappers lie there where they fell

This battle rap's a curate's egg,
Invites interpretation.
And if my version gets your goat,
Try haikus for your consolation

WhoaitsZ

whoops, i forgot i made this thread
got so tired of redudant rhymes i prolly wish it were dead
but oh well, its alive and so am I
now is the time to show you fuckers why

you
don't
fuck
with
Z!

beeeeeeccccaaaaauuuussseeeeeee he is the man with the plan
and if you get around him you should understand
he'll run you over, crush your toes
turn you from a pimp to a goddamned ho

soooo come on bones
make up something better
and hopefully newer than the members of rolling stones
(and more coherrent than eddie veddar)
cuz god knows your shit stinks worse than chedder





........ or something
im bored

eyeronic

Whoaitz is in my crew,
Yeah he's down with me,
But Castex and Bones,
Ya done like Me Phi Me.

Ya need to drop the mike,
And just let that shit be.
Cause your stank IS worse than cheddar,
It's more like stale pee.

__________________
I hold with those that favor fire.

castex

eyeronic, hey I'll meet you apart from the rabble,
I'll beat you at chess and then I'll beat you up at scrabble.
I gots so many words it nearly bring a boy to tears,
Nouns and verbs and adjectives they comin out my ears.
And when I make a move I move the knight to pin the king;
You gotta move tha man and so you queen become my thang.
Fella get the book of Ludo out, you're good at rolling dice;
Try Yahtzee, Simon, Buckaroo, man put you brain on ice.

eyeronic

Yo Castex, if you'd ever played chess
Then you might have known
that knights don't pin,
So sit on down and come back when you're grown.
Maybe if you teamed up with that fat-ass Bones,
The both of you could try me, but never on your own.

Believe me fool that you're a tool
And when it comes to scrabble.
Your threats are weak,
You shouldn't speak,
Cause all I hear is babble.

Now wipe your eyes.
As you surmise
that your demise
is on the rise.
Your tellin' lies,
You'll win no prize.
You're worse than shit.
More like the flies
So step aside
You've had your tries
Don't even dare
"Submit Reply."

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!

__________________
I hold with those that favor fire.