The Battle of Useless things!!
Okay here are the rules, you get one attack per post, you use your attack to launch an utterly useless item at the previous poster. For example.
Poster1 - *holds up a shield made of broken bandaids* Poster2 - *throws a broken condom like a grendade and runs like hell* Got it? Good? And remember, the more useless your item, the more destructive it really is! Soooo *holds up Bill Gates as a shield* |
throws : money @ bill gates
holds up : scratched ABBA record as a shield |
*The Gates is un-affected by money because it is actually very usefull*
*grabs a copy of Napster and chucks it as the ABBA record* |
*throws tickle me elmo(SCARY!) from behind*
*holds up 80's cell phone to block* |
*aus blocks the flying Elmo with his luck (truly useless)*
*pummels the competition with former members of YES* |
*Hasslehof lands near me, i place down The Gates next to Hasselhoff and they begin to go at it*
Hasslehof- I'm gunna ring your neck skinny. *The Gates starts talking about the features of Windows 95, Hasslehof's head explodes* |
*Throws a hotwheels car with no wheels.
*Holds up a battleship board missing all pegs to defend. |
I throw a broken shoelace at pellaz.......
And hold up a soggy napkin to defend from......... |
*Throws "Cindy" from the brady bunch at Midlandmadman
*Holds up banana peel as defence |
I counter with an overcooked wet noodle attack!!
I choose as my defence a burnt-out fridge light bulb. |
Ah ha!! No burnt-out bulb can escape the wrath of....
a vcr that only plays BETA! (Oh damn...I'm dating myself here ;) ) holds up an eight track player in hopes of some feeble defence.... |
*launches a flurry of double edged Enron Stock Certificates
*holds up the Busted Betamax Player Shield for defense |
curses minx, you have stolen my totally useless shield and turned it into a devastating weapon................thats dash cunning of you!
|
Throws a gramaphone at niki
I will defend myself using only a HARPSICHORD without strings, keys or legs!!! |
sorry Nik...beat you to it! :lol:
|
/me holds up minx's unattractive traits...
so yea, I hold up NOTHING and I throw even less!!! |
*Holds up 90-day evaluation copy of Windows 3.11
*Throws Sega CD game system with copy of "Sewer Shark" |
*Holds up a commodore 64*
*throws windowsME* |
*after pulling my head out of the gramaphone horn, I go back to my bag of uselessness and pull out the ever deadly Broken Box Fan with the Smoking, Non-Spinning, Blades of Fury!
*and to counter further gramaphone attacks, I place a Large Cooking Pot on my head, which in my house, is useful only for burning water. |
*throws your garden variety dull chidren's scissors*
*holds up a papermache replica of Saddam* |
*charges into the fray wearing a suit of armor made entirely of Bob Vila*
*fires empty bottles of lotion randomly into the crowd* |
*dons his thinking cap and enters the fray*
*throws a marketing plan put together by Baghdad Bob* |
*blocks with a dull three-whole punch
*counters with Spinning Muffled Windchime of Silent Death |
I chuck several Barry Manilow records at all on the battlefield.
Then take cover under a copy of "Thinner Thighs in 30 Days." |
throws wet noodles at the masses
blocks with a shield of soggy moldy bread |
*I smash through thinner thighs in 30 days with a LaserDisc of the movie License to Drive starring Corey Haim and Corey Feldman.
* I dive behind a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Mark Fhurman. |
*hands Troublebot Abdominator Belt of Protection (and Rock Hard Abs), and Thigh Master Boomerangs to complete the theme
|
*renders License To Drive Laserdisc inert with even more worthless Betamax of Dream A Little Dream, also starring the Cocaine Coreys!
|
*dons his paystub from three years ago*
*throws Casper the Friendly Ghost at everyone* |
*Attacks all with the Y2K bug
*Hides behind a 3 1/2" floppy disk. |
*defends himself with a toyota matrix*
*throws a blown out tire* |
*defends himself with a eunuch*
*throws a one-armed man in a wheelchair* circles anyone? |
*ducks circling one-armed wheelchair man and holds up beaten-up, scratched record album (yes...album....not disc) of "Grease"
*in retaliation throws a pea-less referee's whistle into the crowd* (oh ps....thanks for the compliment rat! You're the best! :icare::) |
*watches the whistle smash through his hastily-held-up jump-rope with one end*
*throws hitler's retirement plan* |
*Gates takes a direct hit from the Nazi retirement plan*
Grrr my best shield, you'll pay for that rat! *grabs a bowl of rotted banana peels* Feel my wrath!!!! *chucks peels at rat* |
Peels miss one rat, hit another.
Holds up panty shield in case someone throws panties. Pitches purple pouch of putrid peaches (another allitteration assault) |
after peaches deflect from my spider-man comic book......
i hurl four broken drumsticks at you.... |
which are no match for my inflatable dartboard.
I quickly spin and pelt you with 7 used manilla folders... |
i deflect the manila folders with a used tissue
i hurl some beads off a broken bracelet... |
I block you beads with Grant Hills ankle,
Counter attack with a Shaquille O'Neal free throw. |
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