|
Back into fray tossing My Bidet bought on Ebay at Meridae'n
and using Amelia Earhart's flight plan as defence |
I deflect the bidet with France's WW2 defense plans.
Attack with a William Shatner hairpiece. |
Throwing pilot script for "Days of our lives" then running for cover hiding behind a "Macdonalds" on the job training manual
|
*Shielding crossfire with Zebra-print Trapper-Keeper
*Hurling SARS masks at anyone who moves |
Your SARS mask can't penetrate this...
Bachelor of Arts Degree! Beware of my lethal Rush Limbaugh monologue! |
Batfinks shield of steel will guard me as I throw an autographed copy of Al Gore's unused acceptance speach into the fray
|
which duly bouces off a flyscreen i ripped off a submarine.
I then throw Shaquille O'Neal's saddle at you... |
With Gates tattered and broken I pick up a new item. I look around the battlefield. I find a scrap of paper with the name "Buttafuco" scribbled on it.
A light is emitted from the paper, I turn it around and unleash its power of death of Meridae'n |
attacks with broken mouse!
|
drumsticks deflected by copy of 'Lerning Two Reed by GW Bush.'
back at ya' with the 3- LP set of 'William Shatner's Greatest Love Songs' |
Whoa, that was close, lucky i had my solar-powered torch handy.
I then fire Australia's entire nuclear arsenal at you... |
Which is easily countered by Canada's naval fleet.
I duck and throw a scrabble game with all the vowels missing.... |
Ha Ha! Blocked by the intelligence of all U.S. Politicians!
Now loading the trebuchet with telemarketers! |
which i block smoothly with john f kennedy's 20 year tax-reduction plan
i proceed to throw every peace of paper/propaganda labeled with the words "Bush Foreign Policy" |
shielded with good intentions
throw a temper tantrum |
easily deflect your temper tantrum with my baby bottle w/o a nipple.
Throw out every weather forecast made for southern texas... |
I throw the regular conversation from fark at you.
and shield myself with Lotus Word Perfect. |
i take the man and turn it into a gigalo
now it comes to attack you with its STDs. |
i easily deflect the gigalo with a tower of blown out condoms
and i toss out three vials of polio |
Dodges the polio by letting it collide with Lotus Word Perfect. They both dissolve on contact.
I take SARS and throw it at you. |
i hold up my home quarantine kit consisting of a sheet of perforated saran wrap and a rubber band
i throw this thread at you |
Heavy battering like that needs my " Michael Moore for President" sticker to be held up as I lob a handful of dust into the arena.
|
The dust falls harmlessly over my 1988 Aussie $5 coin.
I then cast a level 8 'Male ability to express emotion' spell on you... |
Sir John Kerr's autobiograghy will shield me as NSW's hope and dreams are thrown at you
|
I then pay Phil Bailey to save me from that onslaught.
I then pay off the English Rugby side, minus Johnny Wilkinson, to rush you... |
*throwing burnt-out sparklers at Meri apathetically.
*Holding up pair of white denim jean shorts. |
Barry Gommersal blocks such a feeble attempt and I engage Ita Buttrose's G string flicked in your face
|
A near miss there, lucky i had a lead ballon handy.
I then throw Labour's blueprint for the 2004 election at you... |
Ha.
I counter that with with a Stan Zemanec "sings for you" CD. Shield myself with hot air. |
*Spewing forth thousands of "hanging chads" at cchris' hot air shield.
*Poised to defend with armor made of pentium II processors. |
Your pentiums are no match for my South Queensland Crushers life membership.
I quickly reach for Martin Bryant's superannuation fund... |
peaches bounce off Pat Robertson
allowing me to block with the U.N. Security Council |
Tim Bailey's weather report blocks all
Fires's stale coco pops around the room |
all of which bounce off my Foreign Legion hat.
Ah, there, take my subscription to TV Week and 'Open Road'... |
|
*I begin shelling the area with VHS copies of Hudson Hawk
*As I duck behind a pile of Mcdonald's old non-biodegradable styrofoam packages. |
My "discount Albuquerque Hotels" brochure prevents such force and to counter
"lookout incoming" http://www.sydney.net/sydsyd/tonyb.gif |
Whoa, they neally got me, too bad they bouced off my 2003 tax cuts for low-income earners.
This turns out to be an optimal time to spear my wet post-pak tube at you... |
*shielding behind deflated beach ball.
*pitching dead batteries like mad. |
Shoots 9th Circuit Court rulings willy nilly as I run in terror,
Lucky for me that I can shield myself behind a broken curtain rod. |
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