Back into fray tossing My Bidet bought on Ebay at Meridae'n
and using Amelia Earhart's flight plan as defence

I deflect the bidet with France's WW2 defense plans.

Attack with a William Shatner hairpiece.

Throwing pilot script for "Days of our lives" then running for cover hiding behind a "Macdonalds" on the job training manual

*Shielding crossfire with Zebra-print Trapper-Keeper

*Hurling SARS masks at anyone who moves

Your SARS mask can't penetrate this...
Bachelor of Arts Degree!

Beware of my lethal Rush Limbaugh monologue!

Batfinks shield of steel will guard me as I throw an autographed copy of Al Gore's unused acceptance speach into the fray

which duly bouces off a flyscreen i ripped off a submarine.


I then throw Shaquille O'Neal's saddle at you...

With Gates tattered and broken I pick up a new item. I look around the battlefield. I find a scrap of paper with the name "Buttafuco" scribbled on it.

A light is emitted from the paper, I turn it around and unleash its power of death of Meridae'n

attacks with broken mouse!

drumsticks deflected by copy of 'Lerning Two Reed by GW Bush.'

back at ya' with the 3- LP set of 'William Shatner's Greatest Love Songs'

Whoa, that was close, lucky i had my solar-powered torch handy.

I then fire Australia's entire nuclear arsenal at you...

Which is easily countered by Canada's naval fleet.

I duck and throw a scrabble game with all the vowels missing....

Ha Ha! Blocked by the intelligence of all U.S. Politicians!

Now loading the trebuchet with telemarketers!

which i block smoothly with john f kennedy's 20 year tax-reduction plan

i proceed to throw every peace of paper/propaganda labeled with the words "Bush Foreign Policy"

shielded with good intentions

throw a temper tantrum

easily deflect your temper tantrum with my baby bottle w/o a nipple.

Throw out every weather forecast made for southern texas...

I throw the regular conversation from fark at you.

and shield myself with Lotus Word Perfect.

i take the man and turn it into a gigalo

now it comes to attack you with its STDs.

i easily deflect the gigalo with a tower of blown out condoms

and i toss out three vials of polio

Dodges the polio by letting it collide with Lotus Word Perfect. They both dissolve on contact.

I take SARS and throw it at you.

i hold up my home quarantine kit consisting of a sheet of perforated saran wrap and a rubber band

i throw this thread at you

Heavy battering like that needs my " Michael Moore for President" sticker to be held up as I lob a handful of dust into the arena.

The dust falls harmlessly over my 1988 Aussie $5 coin.

I then cast a level 8 'Male ability to express emotion' spell on you...

Sir John Kerr's autobiograghy will shield me as NSW's hope and dreams are thrown at you

I then pay Phil Bailey to save me from that onslaught.

I then pay off the English Rugby side, minus Johnny Wilkinson, to rush you...

*throwing burnt-out sparklers at Meri apathetically.

*Holding up pair of white denim jean shorts.

Barry Gommersal blocks such a feeble attempt and I engage Ita Buttrose's G string flicked in your face

A near miss there, lucky i had a lead ballon handy.

I then throw Labour's blueprint for the 2004 election at you...

Ha.
I counter that with with a Stan Zemanec "sings for you" CD.

Shield myself with hot air.

*Spewing forth thousands of "hanging chads" at cchris' hot air shield.

*Poised to defend with armor made of pentium II processors.

Your pentiums are no match for my South Queensland Crushers life membership.

I quickly reach for Martin Bryant's superannuation fund...

peaches bounce off Pat Robertson

allowing me to block with the U.N. Security Council

Tim Bailey's weather report blocks all

Fires's stale coco pops around the room

all of which bounce off my Foreign Legion hat.


Ah, there, take my subscription to TV Week and 'Open Road'...

http://www.sydney.net/sydsyd/jeannie.jpg

From behind here I lob Pink flamingo's at you

*I begin shelling the area with VHS copies of Hudson Hawk

*As I duck behind a pile of Mcdonald's old non-biodegradable styrofoam packages.

My "discount Albuquerque Hotels" brochure prevents such force and to counter

"lookout incoming"


http://www.sydney.net/sydsyd/tonyb.gif

Whoa, they neally got me, too bad they bouced off my 2003 tax cuts for low-income earners.


This turns out to be an optimal time to spear my wet post-pak tube at you...

*shielding behind deflated beach ball.

*pitching dead batteries like mad.

Shoots 9th Circuit Court rulings willy nilly as I run in terror,

Lucky for me that I can shield myself behind a broken curtain rod.