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Old 07-13-2003, 04:59 AM   #41 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
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Location: upstate
some dude with a giant hammer, not me...


bring me the head of alfredo garcia...
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-15-2003, 07:27 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
You talkin' to ME? I ain't gettin' no head from Alfredo NOBODY!

But, somebody tapped my shoulder. When I turned, no one was there. Was that you?
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Old 07-16-2003, 04:21 AM   #43 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
nope, must have been fly...


where's my moon pie...
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-16-2003, 02:24 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
It's in your pants.... and quit calling me "pie".

Who stole the rest of the thread?
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Old 07-16-2003, 06:05 PM   #45 (permalink)
Modern Man
 
Location: West Michigan
It wasn't me, all I've got is this yellow yarn.

Who pissed in my cheerios?
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Old 07-17-2003, 12:23 PM   #46 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: The South
Don't look at me because I have a video of Uncle Phil whizzing in your breakfast my friend. He also 'sweetened' your coffee this morning.

...

Who took my African Teak Dunhill Lighter?
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Old 07-17-2003, 12:31 PM   #47 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
i did, but only because grump told me to, and he's bigger and uglier than i am...


who stole the kishka?
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-17-2003, 02:46 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Fat and round and firmly packed?
It was hanging on the rack.
Yusef brought it back!

Where's the beef?
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Old 07-17-2003, 02:53 PM   #49 (permalink)
Sen
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why, the beef is in my pants, of course.

What I want to know is why did you tie my shoes together?
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Old 07-17-2003, 02:55 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
They kept wandering off on their own!

Who forgot to feed the dog?
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Old 07-18-2003, 03:24 AM   #51 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
Well, I admit, I forgot, but he was workin' the neighborhood at the time and it jumped my mind.

Did you steal my fries!?!
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Old 07-18-2003, 04:20 AM   #52 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Super Moderator
Location: upstate
nope, must have been GH...


who dat humpin' dat chicken?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 07-18-2003, 06:18 AM   #53 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: SAn Diego
That was a chicken? I thought it was a disemboweled fetus.

Who spanked my monkey?
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Old 07-18-2003, 06:27 AM   #54 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: The South
Quote:
Originally posted by Stewie
That was a chicken? I thought it was a disemboweled fetus.

That was truly disgusting...


But it was one of your multiple personalities that spanked your monkey...You are Jack's monkey spanker....

...

Who drugged me and forced me to have sex with that 19 year old cute virgin brunette coed?

Last edited by Pheatius; 07-18-2003 at 06:31 AM..
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Old 07-18-2003, 06:55 AM   #55 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
I don't know Jack!

Surely you didn't steal my mojo, baby?
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Old 07-18-2003, 08:03 AM   #56 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: SAn Diego
I stole it, I admit. But brother let's face it, you'd be better off with horse spit.

Ok who's the big dummy that is censoring my freaking post?
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Old 07-18-2003, 08:34 AM   #57 (permalink)
Intently Rocking
 
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Location: Davey's
Not me, I was too busy wondering if you had a football shaped head.

Who stole my Men At Work albums! I loved those goddamn things!
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Old 07-18-2003, 09:09 AM   #58 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Sorry! Here, you can have them back. I only took them to polish all of those nasty grooves off of them. See? Nice and shiny like your CD's. Isn't that better?

Who stole Michael Jackson's pigmentation?
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Old 07-18-2003, 09:40 AM   #59 (permalink)
TIO
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Location: The Land Down Under
Wasn't me. He was loving enough to share his bed with me, why would I want to harm him?

Who added Garth Brooks to my playlist?
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Old 07-18-2003, 10:02 AM   #60 (permalink)
Lord over all I survey
 
Location: Northern Michigan
It wasn't me, I was with grumpyold dude, raiding your porn collection. Just ask him..

But you are the one who photoshopped Barnesy picture onto the body of every one of my Bon jovi posters.
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( • Y • )

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Old 07-18-2003, 11:33 AM   #61 (permalink)
Intently Rocking
 
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Location: Davey's
Don't look at me. Both Barney and Bon Jovi make me want to yak. If I saw them together, I'd probably bring up a lung.

However, I think you were the one who melted the face off my Han Solo, in Hoth outfit, action figure. Why did you do it? How will I ever recreate the battle of Hoth again?
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Old 07-18-2003, 12:30 PM   #62 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
'twas not i, grasshopper, but i'll keep my eyes open for the real culprit...


who smacked my ass and called me sally?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-18-2003, 12:54 PM   #63 (permalink)
Banned
 
i would never smack the ass of uncle phil! i don't even have hands! never mind how i type.

what i really want to know is, why is there a head-cheese and pimento-loaf sandwich stuffed in my VCR?
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Old 07-18-2003, 02:07 PM   #64 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: The South
It looked hungry...I'm sorry. I mean someone said it looked hungry, stuffed the sandwich in and buggered off...didn't catch his name...

Who is responsible for the theft of my pocket-sized particle accelerator?
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Old 07-18-2003, 08:46 PM   #65 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
That would be the Ghostbusters down the street.

Did you steal my soul?
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Old 07-18-2003, 11:23 PM   #66 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Sydney
I only borrowed your soul! I left it in your mailbox!

Last I heard, the guy next door traded it for Alf pogs!

YOU THREW UP ON MY MAGIC CARPET DIDN'T YOU!??!
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Old 07-19-2003, 12:40 PM   #67 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
nope, bones did it...he missed the roilet...


...can't find my other avatar of mm...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-19-2003, 01:41 PM   #68 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
I dint take her, Big Willy did.

Did you sell my rusted musket?
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Old 07-20-2003, 01:14 PM   #69 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
nope, i gave away your busted muskrat...


my ear is on fire...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-20-2003, 02:58 PM   #70 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
I was just standing NEAR this old blow torch and it ..well... em...just kinda...uh.... HONEST! I DID NOT TOUCH IT!

Has anyone seen my nicotine suppositories?
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Old 07-20-2003, 03:05 PM   #71 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: ÉIRE
Those marks...... I fell over a bale and a hen picked me
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its evolution baby
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Old 07-20-2003, 04:21 PM   #72 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
easy, homer...pick yourself up and start over...it'll get better...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-20-2003, 08:55 PM   #73 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
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Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Who's turn is it, anyway?
__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard
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Old 07-20-2003, 11:38 PM   #74 (permalink)
Banned
 
i'll go.

SUPPOSITORIES?........ well that explains a few things... i mean... i haven't seen them.

by the way, what were you thinking, taking my burrito-maker like that??
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Old 07-21-2003, 03:56 AM   #75 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
i didn't take your burrito-maker anywhere...he left by himself...


why is my roilet plugged up?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-21-2003, 10:13 AM   #76 (permalink)
Insane
 
Pheatius's Avatar
 
Location: The South
I saw it was unplugged, so I plugged it back in. Now your roilet light is working and you can see your way to the john in the middle of the night...

...

Why did you hide my car keys???
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Old 07-21-2003, 01:14 PM   #77 (permalink)
No. It's not done yet.
 
BonesCPA's Avatar
 
Location: sorta kinda phila
The way you drive? My mother was coming in from out of town, and I didn't think she would survive with both of you on the road at the same time. The DMV should have done what I did years ago.


And what did you do with my dog that causes him to cower in the corner, and for that matter, what happened to all my trashbags?
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Old 07-21-2003, 09:26 PM   #78 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
Fremen's Avatar
 
Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
It wasn't me, but I heard some guy was giving neighborhood pets free pushes down 7-mile hill inside garbage bags.

Who was it that rearranged my ass indentation on my sofa?
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Old 07-22-2003, 05:08 AM   #79 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
not me, but i saw fly skulking around just outside the door...


who moved my truck?
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 07-22-2003, 09:55 AM   #80 (permalink)
Insane
 
Pheatius's Avatar
 
Location: The South
Hey there Uncle Phil...I didn't move that truck...The guy I sold it to did.

...

and while I'm thinking of it...Who replaced my contact solution with battery acid?
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